Please tell me this is all a huge joke.You cant realy believe that a huge thing of spaghetti created everything.If you realy do believe this then you’re all idiots and I’ll pray for you.
281 Responses to “Please tell me this is all a huge joke”















no monkey, they do not. they are touched by dirty old men who are bad. please do not infer that thier apendages have ny relation to ours.
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Fer all ye scurvy non-believers, there be photographical evidence of His Noodly Goodness to be had here.
Take ye a gander and THEN make yer argument agin me mateys and wenches who been tetched by His Noodly Appendage.
Yaaargh and RAmen!
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It’s funny. The idea of a Flying Spaghetti Monster. I mean, it really is a wonderful satire. I enjoyed the letter and the graph of pirates vs. global temperature. I’m Christian..and there’s nothing wrong with a good joke. I don’t understand why so many Christians are so agregiously offended by this site. To each his own. We can all believe what we want. And everyone on this website is clearly too obstinate to change their personal views anyway. Frankly, I don’t understand why people bother bickering at all through this forum…it seems to be rather useless.
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Swell evidence there, but I can see three or four distinct FSMs in that picture. 0 0
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/——-\
|XXXXXXX|
\_______/
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ASCII FSM!
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Darn it didn’t work. But anyway, despite being a FSM follower meself, if I were a crazy illiterate christian, you’d have to do better than that to convince me of His Noodliness.
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I understand, my misguided and niave YAWEH following friend. The SFM is SO much different from your “god” that I might well be hard for you to recogize him as GOD. After all, unlike your “god”, the FSM never:
Ordered rape and murder (Numbers).
Punished people for NOT murdering captives (Numbers).
Punished an entire species for the sins of one man (Genesis).
Alowed the “sons of man” to have sexual intercourse with the daughters of man, creating a race of supermen (Genesis).
Ordered people to mutilate the genitals of their infant male sons (everywhere in O.T.).
And yet, I’m claiming that the FSM is a loving God. He just explesses is love differently from your “god”, by NOT, say, ordering people to sacrifice there first born son, or by NOT ordering 32 virgins to be offered as a heave offering. I no, it sounds strange to one who’s religion is so steeped in blood, but its really true! The FSM loves you. Love him! And were a pirite outfit.
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woa… eugene, geez you “sound” like you’re having a siezure, or you’re a robot. I think all the IMing has been ingrained into your mind.
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Hmm,
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One reason to get together here is in bickering we are both learning new stuff, and new ways of looking at the same point.
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I feel that I have learned so much about the way other atheists think and feel regarding the issue of God and evolution. It brings me a lot of hope that we have a lot of atheists around the world willing to speak up for what they believe.
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Taking the piss out of faith is just an added bonus.
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baby eugene -
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LOL! – I am not laughing with you!
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RAmen NowtheworldhasMeaning, RAmen.
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What kind of God gives you free will and punishes you for using it? What a dickhead! Even if that Christian God is real I’m not worshipping that twisted two faced contrary son of a bitch (and Mary was apparently something of a whore faced bitch I hear).
The FSM makes so much more sense than these other religious nonsense talkers. At least it has a perfectly viable explination for why the rational fact based ideas of science can be readily dismissed. I mean what kind of an EVIL God is this Jesus bastard (his parents weren’t married right?) motherfucker (Jesus is God and God Got Mary pregnant therefore he is a motherfucker right?) anyway?
I will make RAmen for you to counter your prayers that are poisoning your mind and harming your very carbs.
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God would never win in a modern court of law…
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God: “Your honor, I must punish mankind for all eternity because the defendents, Adam and Eve, ate from the tree of knowledge of good an evil. It was clearly stated from the beginning that I forbade them to do so, yet they did!”
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Judge: “So, let me see if I understand your position, Mr. Plaintiff…. You created a perfect world and into that world you created two perfect beings, the defendants, Adam and Eve?”
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God: “That’s correct your honor.”
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Judge: “At the time of creation, the defendants had no understanding of good and evil. They were innocent?”
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God: “Yes your honor.”
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Judge: “Into this perfect world, among these perfectly innocent people, you placed two trees, the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge, and instructed the defendants not to eat from them?”
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God: “Yes your honor.”
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Judge: “And then there was a third party, this serpent fellow. He coerced the defendant, Eve, into eating from the Tree of Life. Eve then coerced Adam to eat as well, correct?’
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God: “Yes, your honor! They are sinners and I must punish them and all their progeny! I demand justice!”
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Judge: “Calm down Mr. Plaintiff. I’m not finished. Where did this serpent come from?”
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God: (tugging on his shirt collar) “Well, you see your honor, it’s like this. That serpent fellow, well he used to work for me. He was once one of my angels. Then he went rogue.”
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Judge: “So, did you create this serpent fellow?”
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God: (fidgeting) “Well, you know your honor… you see, he’s evil.”
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Judge: “But you are the creator of all things. Who created the serpent if you didn’t?”
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God: (sweating heavily) “Well, yes, I guess “technically” I created the serpent.”
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Judge: “I think I understand now. Let me summarize. You, the plaintiff, aka God, created a perfect world. Into this world you created two perfect beings. You then created temptation by way of the two forbidden trees. You also created an evil serpent who in turn coerced the defenendants into defying you. You now wish to punish the defendants and all their progeny for all eternity. Is this correct?”
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God: (beaming) “Correct your honor! I move that we get right to the smiting!”
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Judge: “Motion denied! This is a clear case of entrapment. I find in favor of the defendants.”
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God: (fists balled and stomping his foot) “But your honor! I’m God!”
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Judge: “What you are is mean spirited, petty son of a bitch! You act like some child, burning ants with a magnifying glass for kicks! Now get out of my court and quit screwing around with people’s lives!”
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-OEJ
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this website is not a joke. no more than Jonathan Swift’s “a modest proposal” is. it is a demonstration against the teaching of religious ideas in science classes which got blown way out of proportion. christens who find the blessing RAmen offensive should relise that pastafarinaism is greatly influenced by Christianity, and is in no way mocking it. it is could, in fact be considered a radical branch of the christen religion, albeit one with rather strange ideas about the nature of god. don’t be offend, just have a good laugh.
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That should have been “from the Tree of Knowledge” not “from the Tree of Life” in my last post. Typo demons begone!
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OEJ
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Please tell me this is a joke, your “God” created the universe? Our Noodly creator makes just as much sense as yours, if not more. Take Adam and Eve in for example. If they had children, then those children procreated with each other,and wouldn’t normalcy be a birth defect? Are people who have vertical challenges the people closest to FSM, as he created the first, even before he created Pirates. Please, If you really believe that “god” created everything, we pray for you.
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p.s. hear hear, me hearty! (one eyed jack)
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Maybe Adam & Eve were not the first humans – just the first believers in “God”. To keep their bloodline pure that had to procreate with each other. Yes, that would explain a lot. Christians are decendants from Adam & Eve!
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Most Christians are descended from Adam and Eve, since there has to be a LOT of incest in their genetic background. Basically since Cain and Seth had no other women around they have to be descended from Motherfuckers. A lot of motherfuckers in the Christian faith, Jesus is God and God is his father so Jesus fucked his mother. It’s a small warped gene pool and I’m glad that I’m from much more moral ancestry of canibal chimps.
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Hey chunkylimey, a lot of chistians don’t believe in literal interpretation. And humans never came from monkeys, evolution suggests a common ancestor you noob. Also marcius mariana, it seems that the subject of the FSM isn’t blatant enough for henderob (the person who started this thread, also I’m only a first liutenant in obviousness, not a captain…yet.)So for the rest of you who think bashing religion is fun, i hope your future children are mongoloids.
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Bobert- we will bash as long as you give us the hammer.
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Bobert, we are not into religion bashing. This sight is for discussion about ID (and of coarse FSM). Sure we do a bit of piss take on this site – but we are not attacking any religious sites. If ID pro people want to comment (which they do) they are wide open for conflict. This is fair. I always respond in the same tune as the hatemail sent – ie if it is intelligent I respond intelligently, if it is just nastygrams well open season for abuse!
I have equal respect for all religion and believe STRONGLY that it should be in it’s place not deluding our next generation with a Pseudo Science in class!!!
Anyway seeing as we are not decendants of Adam & Eve, our future children will be fine. Yours however will have two heads. I am not hoping that for you (that would be bad for my Karma) – I am mearly devising that is a likely outcome from genetic inbreeding.
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Oh the spelling, oh the humanity!
Sight coarse it’s decendants mearly
Don’t get me started on punctuation.
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Chistianity isn’t a parody. Have you heard of the crusades? Those were usually sanctioned by the pope. So going by that evidence Jesus probably existed. What is Christianity and Buddhism a parody of? There is a significant credibilty Christianity has over the FSM. Now believe what you want but don’t call Christianity a parody you noob. For what it’s worth I believe in theistic evolution. And I’m Catholic so at least I’m not going to hell.
That made no sense… Henderbob is the “leader” of “Pastafarianism”… which makes him the spaghetti-pope… which means that the FSM exists?
The crusades and Jesus have nothing to do with one another. If anything, the fact that a religeous leader was using the bible as a means to wage a war (”Thou shalt love thy neighbor,” “Thou shalt not kill,” etc.) should lead a rational person to question exactly how much of the bible is “Authentic” and how much of it was doctored for personal gain. I mean, after all… Would Jesus run out and kill millions of people because they don’t believe he’s the son of god? Come on, now…
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@CMD-Z Oct 24th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
“Bobert- we will bash as long as you give us the hammer.”
That’s going on my calender :)
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@baby eugene
I for one will be praying to the great FSM for you. Physc. wards can be pretty nasty places. There are all sorts of people, with all sorts of communication problems there.
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With lots of nice, calming Lithium… where there are no bad people making you listen to that stupid science stuff.
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You wouldn’t believe the diversity on my bookshelf…..and I still can’t find “the book”
A title would be good. I mean I have access to a good library.
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FUCK THE FAKE THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER! IF YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT SHIT YOU GUYS ARE A BUNCH OF DUMBASSES!!!
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A JOKE?! Our God is not only almighty, he is also tasty!
He created everything and covered it with the Holy Marinara Sauce so that we would not suffer from lack of decent grub.
RAmen
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Such hatefull words from such good christians. Mongoloids and Dumbasses we may be, but intolerant we are not. I don’t hate you for eating our God, I just don’t give thanks to another God before I do it. I don’t wish birth defects on your kids. I do think I may be more open minded than you though, because if you ever fully understand why you dismiss my God, you will understand why I dismiss yours. I’m one step ahead of you already.
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No I happen to agree with this guy. Reject the Fake FSM. Long live the REAL Flying Spaghetti Monster ( A-Ha-Ha-Haaa, see what I did there? ) and his lustrous mass of cuddly tentacles. Yes i am ‘in love’ with my God. I wanna get down on my knees and start lovin’ the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I want to take his body into me every week if you know what I mean……
I think I may be starting some sort of crazy subsect of FSM worship here. Mybe the Mormonsim of FSM. Sweet Lord help me.
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Hey maxwell, if somebody thinks it’s cool to take shots on anothers faith, some people are going to say something about it. And I havn’t wished for everyones’ kids to be mongoloids if they believe in the FSM. If you enjoyed religion bashing, I happen to think that that’s what you deserve. I have been taken out of context. A common strategy by noobs.
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ok, let’s use your words, in your context:
“So for the rest of you who think bashing religion is fun, i hope your future children are mongoloids.”
AND, I didn’t come to your blog to bash your faith. Seems you found your way here and did some bashing of mine. It still intrigues me as to the thin-ness of christian’s skin when someone challenges their beliefs, and how quickly YOU resort to wishing my children would be born mongoloids. If you don’t like what you see here, please GTF out. I promise, I won’t post my opinions on any christian blogs; you all have no tolerance for humor or free thought. Noodly goodness be with you.
RAmen.
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Remember the Wizard of Oz? Bobert, it seems that you are a liliputian (sp?). You see the big, scary Wizard. You obey him, and fear him. We happen to see the little man behind the machine. You don’t even realize it is a machine, not to mention being able to consider that something else is behind it. I don’t believe that anything you read here will change your opinion about anything, so, do yourself a favor and ask your pastor what you should believe. Then tell your friends about it, not me. But, if you ever want to sit down over a big bowl of ’sketti and discuss it, I would do so. NGBWY.
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Way to go maxwell!
Bobert: I don’t mind if adults want to believe in Jesus.I don’t even mind if adults want to believe in the Easter Bunny, or that aliens are bugging their brains through the telephone wires, or that pixies run the internet. I figure the stupid and crazy will always be with us.
What started the whole FSM movement is that the jesus retards are trying to pass laws to force our children to our children to learn their religion as science. THAT is not acceptable. Right-wing Christians try to pass laws forcing their stupid crap down everybody’s throat and then complain that others are being intolerant of their religion if they say anything against it. For respect to work everyone has to do it. The religious right broke the deal when they tried to sneak and bully ID into science classes. So when a religious lunatic sends and obscene and misspelled message to OUR blog he is open season.
Some of us aren’t shy about calling a retard a retard and as Maxwell stated so well. ‘If you don’t like what you see here, please GTF out.’
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*high-five*
Drop me a line at maxwell@pookmail.com
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“Hey maxwell, if somebody thinks it’s cool to take shots on anothers faith, some people are going to say something about it. And I havn’t wished for everyones’ kids to be mongoloids if they believe in the FSM. If you enjoyed religion bashing, I happen to think that that’s what you deserve. I have been taken out of context. A common strategy by noobs.”
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Effectively we are in a the middle of a war of ideology, Muslims Vs Muslims, Christian Vs Christian, Atheist Vs Atheist, Christian Vs Muslim, etc.
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If you don’t want to be involved in the war you don’t have to be, but as soon as you give your opinion then you be it in politics/on a website or any other place that can influence others then preper to defend yourself.
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I am afriad the for the Faith religions you are going to find it a little bit more difficult than before seeing as education is now more widely spread!
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If you bashing any religion is sweet then you can kiss both sides of my ass. I know the story behing FSM and I have already said that it’s a political vehicle. If you bothered to read the entire thread than you would have been privy to that. And as a Christian I support evolution being taught in school. But I don’t support religious bashing. I actually hate it. I’m happy that the FSM has prevented ID from being taught, which was it’s purpose. Oh, and liliputions are from Gulliver’s Travels not the Wizard of Oz.
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Bobert,
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So We atheists are just meant to sit around letting the religions dictate policy, morals, politics and mocking my beliefs and I am not allowed to fight back. Piss off!
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Every time someone tells me there is a God or claims Evolution is fake I am insulted! In a very similar way the Muslims are insulted when you draw pictures of Muhammed.
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Like it or not religion dictates alot of Laws, it has activily slowed scientific progression. You should see the damage the christian faith is doing to Africa (AIDS anyone?), have you ever been to a orphanage in Africa where you know that all the children in there are going to die sooner or late from Aids, and then have to listen to some priest tell you it is a punishment from God?.
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And I have to listen to some prick telling me I am not allowed to question anothers beliefs, go fuck yourself mate!
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i’d hate u using language like “lol”, but…
lol of COURSE this is a big joke. Duhr!
what, did you think this was REAL?
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“Frankly, I don’t understand why people bother bickering at all through this forum…it seems to be rather useless.
“If you [think] bashing any religion is sweet then you can kiss both sides of my ass.”
I would like to point out that your side started it.
I would also not like to see non-Christians devolving to the level of hate mailers. =( I still find the term m*therf*cker offensive regardless of to whom it is applied, and I tend to feel that we FSM proponents as a community are above that.
=(
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I firmly believe in a seperation of church and state. I’m not telling you to stop questioning other faiths, just don’t go on and say “your religion is bunk.” And I only started postiong when somebody called budhism and christianity a parody. Oh and I’ll get my passport in December for Cristmas actually. (a holiday you probably celebrate) And I depart for South Africa right on the 26th. I don’t care if your athiest or agnostic, I’ll encourage you to be politically active, so where in the hell did you get that idea?
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Bobert
RELIGION IS BUNK!!! RELIGION IS BUNK!!!!
Look grow up and do something constructive. You either need to add something remotely intelligent or you are guna get slammed!! We can believe whatever we want (and so can you). We can also express our beliefs here on our website.
Grow up.
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” I firmly believe in a seperation of church and state. I’m not telling you to stop questioning other faiths, just don’t go on and say “your religion is bunk.†And I only started postiong when somebody called budhism and christianity a parody. Oh and I’ll get my passport in December for Cristmas actually. (a holiday you probably celebrate) And I depart for South Africa right on the 26th. I don’t care if your athiest or agnostic, I’ll encourage you to be politically active, so where in the hell did you get that idea?”
Not only do you have an opinion, apparently you have several different ones, all regarding the same thing. Thanks for encouraging me to be politically active; I vote for you to leave. PS If I choose to say your religion is bunk, I will do so. Then you can wish the plague on my future offspring. It’s a fair trade!
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I may take my holidays and celebrate Christmas, but for me it has nothing to do with religion, it is just that the country I live gives Christmas off work/college so all my family can get together. I think you will find the timing of Christmas is very pagan, as it is unlikely Jesus was actually born on the 25 of December.
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Bobert as I have said before we are in the middle of a war of ideology, whilst some people are using violence to help them fight this war, we on this site are lampooning religion in the hope that someone will read it will see how stupid our example is and then relate it back to there own religion.
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What gives me the right?…
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Well for starters freedom of speach! every man has the right to speak his mind.
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Secondly I am judged using religious standards eg “living in sin”
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And finally if you want to engage in the war of ideology then it is open season on your ideology too. I don’t go knocking on doors screaming to people how just want to be left alone about my beliefs, I don’t stand on street corners trying to explain how great being an atheist is to passers by. But if we are talking over dinner/in the pub/on a website and you make a comment regarding religion and your view point on it then your mine!
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Bobert,
We haven’t wished ill upon you or your offspring (oh god I hope not). However you think it fair to wish ill upon us for what you term “religion bashing”. Do you even understand what you are typing??
FSM is the only TRUE religion!! Don’t knock it in our Church because that would be “religion bashing”. Is this more clear for you or should I draw a picture??
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“Is this more clear for you or should I draw a picture??”
Better draw the picture. Just to be safe. Use crayons, and label everything clearly.
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Watch this…
“A huge thing of spaghetti created everything”
Now for the christian side…
“Somting I have never seen and never heard made everything. But I know its there becasue I cam immagine nothing”.
wow… hard.
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Christmas is the beginning of the pagan celebration where the peak of winter has passed. The sun is visably travelling north again. The worship of Chronas (aka Saturn) – father of Zeus (aka Jupiter). The winter rations are shared at this time with villagers struggling to make their supplies last through the long dreaded winter.
Got nothing to do with Jesus or the story of St Nic in Paris!!!
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The only time I find myself in agreement with a religious person is when he/she observes that someone else’s religion is bunk. That this happens all the time, leads to a single conclusion.
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