FUCK THIS SO CALLED SPEGETTI MONSTER. I hope that every single one of you can find faith in Jesus.
-zach
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Havn’t seen it . That Bricklayer one is from the urban myths section though. Like to see the expose. Think it would probably be as funny as the story?
Yarrr… twas hilarious. Their crash test dummy almost exactly followed the myth… their opinion was it was a plausible myth.
.
Unfortunately, they have also done one on the JATO car myth, turns out it never happened :(
Bugga. I’ll have to try & catch up on them sometime. Here’s another one I’d like to see them test.
Unfortunate Husband II
I found him, I found jesus, NOT!!! Pass the parmesan……..
Thank you all for helping me realize the Truth, the Light, and the Pasta way. I had, since the age of 8 developed from a very agnostic child into a firmly atheist man. Then I was saved by His Noodly Appendage. This site was even more funny than the site I found when I awoke with a swollen uvula!
I am astounded at the lack of intelligence and command of English found in the posts made by most of the people following other religions. I now know that FSM is real and is the only true God. I have read all of His scriptures, paid attention to his followers arguements, and deep, deep inside I know it to be true. First He made a mountain, then He made trees, and then He made a midget!
It’s all so simple! Why would anyone waste their time with all that complicated scientific mumbo-jumbo. Scientists are always wrong anyways. All they have is theories, and they are always disproving those theories so then you have to think something different. When it is just so much more simple to believe in the Almighty! Trust to FSM and you too will ascend to the Glory of Heaven and be able to drink beer outside the stripper factory for eternity with me and all of my great friends.
Also, all other religions are the work of the Great Spaghetti Disolver of the Deep, he “LetHisNameNeverBeMentionedAgain” has subverted great numbers of innocents to believe in evil and we must save them all! I will be assembling my armies, and those of like minded Lords of FSM to wage Crusade against all heathens and blasphemers! You will believe in my God, the Great and Omnipotent Flying Spaghetti Monster, or you shall surely perish by my sword. Kneel or die!
RAmen
-BB
I have fucked every single deity humans ever created, and empirically found FSM to be quite steamy, slippery, and all-embracing. Noodly appendages have amazing erotic uses.
Jesus was cute, but I couldn’t understand a word he was saying, because all he spoke was this weird tribal desert dialect, long dead now. Also he was kinda inflexible in the limbs department–you know, bones with joints.
FSM was smooth and sleek and smelled of herbs, garlic, tomato, and delightful grated hard cheeses.
Jesus had prickly whiskers and bad breath. They didn’t have dental floss in his day, and their teeth got really bad by age 33.
FSM fed me a great meal afterwards. Jesus could only offer crackers n grape juice, while assuring me they were his body and blood. YUCK!
FSM told really good jokes and gave me a pirate hat for a souvenir, which I gave away to a drunk woman living on the street because Jesus, and his followers, didn’t help him find a home. I also gave him a big clamshell take-out container of FSM.
Jesus was nowhere around. His followers were hurrying past, pretending they didn’t see this cold, hungry, lonely, aged woman who had given her whole life to others and now was spending her days and nights begging passers-by for just enough food to remain alive…and in torment. Jesus’s followers were too busy rushing home to watch Salvation TV, and to go out and convert other people, and figure out who to kill, attack, or put down next, spending all that money on bombs and weapons rather than warm snug nests for elders who deserve love and compassion and care.
FSM feeds the hungry every single day, and no miracles about it. Never heard him tell anybody to hate their family, or kill anybody. Just plate after plate of steaming nourishing pasta. The beer is good too, though I’m more of a water drinker, and I hate wine, and the idea of changing water to wine strikes me as really hideous.
I don’t know how actual physical contact with the FSM and mammals like us would work out. I have a scary story involving a three year old boy, some ramen noodles, and a very fluffy 9 week old kitten. The three converged in my living room a few days ago, and the poor kitten got the worst of it. Somehow, the noodles that got stuck in his hair became cement-like, and I had to give him a bath. Maybe some fantasies are better left in our heads.
I have no faith in con artists. But pasta never seals you identry or money.
christians…………….ahhhh christians.
gotta’ love their open minds, sensitivity, love, care, compassion, and polite words.
@Cap’n Saucy
The evolution of a pirate moggy?
I love Christians. They taste like chicken and go great with pasta.
Ramen and pass the parmesan
“Fuck this so-called Spaghetti Monster”
I haven’t found faith in Jesus, but I’ve found myself in Faith a few times - after a little drinking and sweet talking…
Nikkiee, I can’t understand your accent. What’s a moggy? Is that what is trying to climb up my legs with razor-sharp claws when I least suspect it to happen? What happened to my sweet little kitten? Is it a fossil now?
Afraid so! The sharper the claws the more the moggy. It’s what we call a bitsa cat. Yours sounds like it will make a great pirate.
RAmen
Well, now he’s got conjunctivitis. Maybe he’ll need an eye patch. He has already been annointed by RAmen. Soon enough, he’ll be trying to go out running around the village lookin for feline wenches. Aaaarrrghhhmmmmeeeeoooowwwww!
Soon enough, you will have to change your handle and hand it over to the real Cap’n of your abode. This is non-negotiable. Just ask Mog.
Oh! It’s a HE. Suggest you buy a gas mak when he comes of age!
Yeah, I found faith in Jesus once, it’s when the public school system was strapping me down and shoving it down my throat.
You know the problem with your god? He acts like an angry asshole, and steals poor people’s money with his “Donate to my church or BURN IN HELL”.
“Suggest you buy a gas mak when he comes of age!”
When he starts marking out his longditude and latitude.
tell me. would you walk around iraq saying “FUCK ISLAM”?
.
what if i say “FUCK JESUS”? huh?
.
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a pirates life for me!
ok maybe that was a bit extreme, but jesus would love spaghetti!
.
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a pirate’s life for me!
I somehow doubt that we shall all find faith in a man who tells his servants to fuck other religon’s gods.
Nah, I’m good. You can have the rest of the Jesus.
I’m glad the fundis are so funny. The humour takes the edge of the horror of their mere existance.
nikkiee…
Yes, Halloween is over. I wish they would take off the masks.
Yeah… like your method of convincing is really going to get us to find faith in Jesus. Tell me, does he swear and ridicule like you do?
Try talking to us when you have something intelligent to say.
Oh yeah, and before I forget…
RAmen!
Regarding the Spaghetti Monster War…Aren’t we instructed to merely Plunder instead?
Yar and RAman
FUCK YEAH! Jesus Fucking hates a lot of shit. What we need is a good ole dose of “Fucking Messiah Power”!!!! Woot!
You know, I’ve never looked in Jesus for faith? Could you please tell me where to look? I’m thinking It would fit very nicely in his lower intestines.
Faith is in Jesus!!??!?!
I was wondering where she got to. It sounds uncomfortable for both of them.
Is pasta kosher?
Old JC was a jewish boy. Ooops thats not supposed to be mentioned and the reason why you never see him without adequate coverage a la boxers which would give the whole game away.
I think he would have loved the Spag.Bowl Fiend…after all look would he did with the loaves and prawns, imagine what he could do with a dash of Paul Newmans wonder sauce?
Young Squire Kovacs has a good point. Open your mouth Oh Cussing One and you remove all doubt that you bumped your head in the swallow end of the gene pool.
Or rather: if complete and utter fuckwit-dom was lightning, you’d (oh Cussing One) would be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting “All gods are bastards!!!!!!!!.” Splat.
Signed
The Many Arm’d Godddess from the continent of Four X
@Aspara
‘Open your mouth Oh Cussing One and you remove all doubt that you bumped your head in the swallow end of the gene pool.’
I love that!!!!
RAmen
@Aspara again
Have you been to the “your god is a homo thread”?
http://www.venganza.org/2006/08/03/your-god-is-a-homo.htm
Go the denizens of the continent of xxxx
RAmen
Not yet..I am too busy visiting My-god-was-a-freaked-out-long-haired-essendon-fan-dude-in-the-desert-that-hung-around-hungry-as-all-christ-BLUDGERS-so-they-had-a-barbie-chucked-a-prawn-or-2-on-proving-that-jesus-came-from-upperjerilderee-and-therefore-to-wit-also-a-native-of-the-continent-of-four-x-and who the hell-didn’t-bring-the-beer-burp.html.
I don’t speak english you see,what?
Your second line ran right of the page, so I couldn’t read the end of it.
I think all the dashes do that?
Faith?
What is faith?
What is?
What?
You see how the flowchart logic runs?
I run my life along these lines: my life could be visualised as a sort of business flowchart with, at the top, a circle entitled “Me, who does the telling” and, connected below it by a line, a large circle entitled “Everyone else”.
I digress
WHAT IS FAITH?
IS FAITH WHAT?
FAITH IS WHAT?
Thats how I see it.
Yes dashes will do that somewhat.
Logic! You need to get a longer screen!
Oh Ye of Faith!
Don’t forget the famous gospel “The Chain Letter to the Ephebians!” Forget Your Gods. Be Subjugated. Learn to Fear. Post 50 copies out of this warning! Do not break the chain –the last person who did woke up one morning to find fifty thousand armed men on their lawn and there first born hamsters clean dead.
True.
Apsara
Logic! You need to get a longer screen!
.
You mean like one from the drive in movies?
hmmm…
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I have really nothing to add to this convo, except @Apsara
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GO BOMBERS!! (they’re the essendon football team incase you are wondering)
Btw, I’ve always thought of jesus as more of a saints fan. Bit of a joke now, and their only real victory was way back in prehistory.
@ Jingles
Some of those OTHERS ACROSS THE DITCH think the Big J plays/prays for the All Blacks.
I’ll wash my mouth out now
Oh lordy…
Good thing we worship pasta then. So much more logical.
Begone Tom Crazy spammer
Walk the plank, convertist.
FUCK THIS SO CALLED JESUS. I hope that every single one of you can find faith in the Flying Spaghetti Monster.