You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously. The reason I ask, is because I truly wonder how you can conclude that a “Flying Spaghetti Monster†created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and pray that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that God would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least. Praying that you change,
The RkticFox
You have GOT to be kidding me
Published by Bobby Henderson September 19th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 148 Comments
148 Responses to “You have GOT to be kidding me”
this is funnier than I thought it would be :p
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I will also pray in the hope that you will see the error of your ways and be blessed by His Noodley Appendage.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
How can you conclude that any big invisible monster created the universe? It’s something you can neither prove nor disprove. Therefore you cannot disprove that said big invisible monster takes the form of spaghetti & meatballs, so I’ll have my big invisible monster with parmesan thanks.
Until you’re willing to reach out for His Noodly Appendage, the only things that await you in the afterlife are dishwashing, sanitary duties, and flat, lukewarm beer – and I challenge you to disprove me.
RAmen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Any god who is so concerned about this kind of ‘blasphemy’ is a mite too thin-skinned for my way of thinking. Gee, I hope that doesn’t make me a ‘bad person’.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If only these blasphemers had spent the time to open up and learn the truth from his book. Everyone would be able to see the way and people would quit following the wrong path and be blessed by his greatness. Please read the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to learn all about everything. After reading this, you will know.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Avast yee scurvy dog! How come we not bein’ able to be believin’ that thar giant flying spaghetti monster had bein’ created all the Buccanneer’s we be seein’ all the world round? By the powers! We be havin’ the right do be doin’ and thinkin’ anythin’ a right bein’ heald by all yee fellow Swashbucklin’ Matey’s! And then yee scurvy dog be comin’ about and actin’ like a right squiffy with yar accu…accu… your mean talkin’s and all that thar stuff. Just bein’ rememberin’! When yee be at the end of yar rope and be headin’ to Davy Jones’ Locker. We all be Loaded to the Gunwales with the finest, greatest, Grog ever to be bein’ seen! Ahoy! Wench! Be brin’in’ more grog for me matey’s won’t yar? Yo ho ho!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ditto, ye scurvy dog.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Alas, only the true sinners cannot see the way of our higher pasta. I feel sorry for people that don’t have an open mind. Brainwashing sucks!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Arrrgh! Them’s fightin words! I challenge you to some ass-fighting! I bet your coccyx is tiny and puny! Run, run, while you have a chance to save your pasta-starved patheticness!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Blasphemy?! Blasphemy?
Those be strong words me boy. Arr, when the wind howls and yer sails fray and yer ship gets tossed about like a cork in a bowl carried by a comely fat wench ye may be startin’ t’ think that a prayer to ye olde Flyin’ Spaghetti Monster might not be such a bad idea!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Since today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, I need be replyin’ to yer traitorous comments like this. The Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster be the Alpha n’ Omega. He create all things such as buried treasure n’ cutlasses. Let all who mock our beliefs while declarin’ their beliefs correct walk the plank n’ meet their cold, dark end in Davy Jones’ locker! ARRRRRRRRR!
Where’s me parrot?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ye’ve got to love them christians.
To be usin’ the biggest argument against christianity against his noodly wonderfulness, surely that be the height of landlubberly foolishness.
I says to flog ‘em round the fleet with the tagliatelle grande.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
How can you conclude that a “God” created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and pray that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that Flying Spaghetti Monster would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least. Praying that you change,
Cap’nUberbob
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
hmmm, i too sometime wonder how he could create and ordained life before the universe came to existance, then i think to myself hey maybe he comes from the unverse, or the oldverse, or the multiverse, with quantum mechanics it’s proven that it’s possible that a multiverse is possible( so a maybe). take for exemple a dice, you can get from 1 to 6, by throwing it you get a equal chance to get 1,2,3,4,5 and 6, and in a multiverse you can get all 6 just in different universe. So he could be from another universe where he is a commoner or anything possible and decide to come here a create this universe. Or this could be a dream and the flying spaghetti monster is just sleeping and he’ll wake up sometime and we will simply cease to exist. that’s how he create mountains, trees and midgets
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It must be pretty rough having such frail beliefs that you feel challenged by something like this.
And in honor of talk like a pirate day:
Cap’n: “Yar, where arrrr me buccaneers?!”
Scurvy Cur: “On th’ side o’ yer buccanhead!”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The amazing thing about America is that it is filled with a diverse culture of race, ethnic, and religious beliefs. However, you don’t see a “redressed†version of Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhim, Baha’I, or any other religion being presented as scientific evidence of its existence and true superiority. Redressed Christianity has no place in the science class. There is absolutely nothing scientifically measurable about an “imaginary guy in the sky†nor a monster creating midgets (although it is a great laugh and wonderfully satirical concept)!
I do however believe that a logical resolution needs to be achieved, but not by subjecting our children to religion unfairly represented as science. In turn there is a need for all students in every country to be subjected to a mandatory, non-bias, and wholly objective world religion class. Which the top 10, 15, 20 (whatever number decided upon) religions are explored and researched in an open discussion class. The teacher should be absolutely non-bias and be present to help fuel the discussions, and steer them when needed. The testing should be on the religious concepts, important moral and socially benefiting material, as well as grossly negative aspects. The objective of the class would be to mold young adults into open minded adults with the ability to accept others and their points of view rather than condemn, ridicule, and hate. Until there is acceptance and hate can be deterred we will have wars, and senseless slaughtering of human life. Humans are not born to hate we are molded by society. Unless something is done, by society as a whole, to embed acceptance in others hate and destruction is inevitable. For instance, Pope Benedict’s comments about Islam…..if that is not “the pot calling the kettle black†I don’t know what is. I ask, has the pope ever heard of the crusades or witch hunts?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Aye, and I be wonderin’ who be this ‘God’ that some o’ me more superstitious mates keep pipin’ on about.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Another Pirate Joke: A Pirate walks into a bar with a boat steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender asks, “What’s with the steering wheel?†The Pirate responds, “Arrr it’s driving me nuts!â€
One of my favorites.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Arrrrgh, I be a new convert. These letters must be printed for a future version of ouRRRR holy text
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
My favorite part of that letter is the writer’s request to “see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format.” I would love to see ANY religion’s attempt to provide premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. I’m not sure… is he taking Pastafarianism seriously the same way that he takes his own religion seriously, because he seems to have missed the joke. I will be sure to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for him, or perhaps to the waffle stuck to my kitchen ceiling, or the dancing hula girl on my car dashboard.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Bwaaaaa… hahahaha… Bwa hahaha ha ha ha…
Oh, make it stop…
i’m gonna pee!
Bwaaaaa… hahahaha… Bwa hahaha ha ha ha…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I like that one island religiion where babies are sacred and can’t touch the ground til they’r elike 6 months old. the regular religions are so year 2000.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i think ur a fvcking moron henderob…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Frankling, at least he can spell well.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh henderob, you make me giggle, and want to kill you at the same time. You should pray that HE forgives you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The church, there be monsters. Here be The Monster of all that is great. Worship his noodley appendage maties.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What is a religion but a way of dealing with things you don’t understand? To relieve stress and give meaning to life? I, Beta Komplx, now worship The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster as my chief, prime religion in my life. Argh.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
P.S. i have been a pirate for quite some time and have found this religion to cater my needs the best. I convert, not in spite of others, but for myself and my keelhaulin’ ways.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Uhhh your god is nothing but some giant invisible..THING! you don’t even know if its a many or woman, yes it says you were built in it’s image but hey! You guys just might be his paccasos! So for all that you know a large almighty mass of noodles two meatballs and eyes created exsitance >w
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
befused you may be matey, for if you mock the noodly appendage you may find uurself in a mess when you be in a postition for askin his help. Nah..I don’t right think you care, but you mockers of our religion think urselves smarter than paint always preachin open-mindness and tolerance, yet when it comes to our beliefs you draw the cutlass!! ARGGG! May he touch yer ‘eart!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why can’t everyone just wake up , do the job your good at , go home at the end of the day , and STFU !!!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Avast me maties, tis only a matter of time before the son of the great spaghetti monster arrives in the form of a vegetarian canneloni to show the way.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What slays me is that this Fundamentalist Cretins don’t even realize how stupid they sound trying to “preach” to us. If they truly understood “Pastafarianism” they’d realize that such arguments are an absolute waste of time.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
alright, lemmie tell you something. Pastafarianism is very similar to christianity. One god created the universe. They made a big forrest. They created man. So i dont see how a religion made up by an out of work physics man is any different from a religion made up by a woman who was mysteriously pregnant and had to make up a reason as to why her husband is not the father.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I have three testicles
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Actually that’s not exactly correct, the word I should have used is Testes as Testicles is not in fact a real word.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Thanks for sharing the miracles of our genetics, CDC.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You’re kidding… right? So you belive spagetti and meatballs created the universe. You believe food created the deep blue seas, skys, and human beings? Whats next, Dog crap creating the Earth? All this is is an act of boredom, just like Darwin. He believed an explosion created the Earth, let me ask you something, when has an explosion created anything, never it destroys things. Who ever came up with this idea, I pray God will show mercy on you when you stand before his throne.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
And may you be touched by His Noodly Appendage Jill, because you obviously have not eyes to see and ears to hear. Go in Peace. RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
My point was that the Great Flying Spaghetti Monster did decree that I should have 3 testes. It does not make me more of a man than those with two it was just a show of his power that he can control and manipulate the pastaverse at will. I just wish he had given me a bigger Noodly Appendage.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ay, all be praisin to the flying spagetti monster and his noodly appendace and wenches!
read up on the site and its PURPOSE before you slander it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jill,
They are all kidding, but few of them are kidding themselves. I was, however, amused that you managed to get the words “crap” and “throne” into the same paragraph. Surely, this was no mistake, but part of your fate. Without realizing, you have been touched by semolina.
AARRGH! I fele th’ envy growin’ in me, like a barnacle on a whale’s bum!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I am currently contemplating on things which are very toubling to me,
I wonder how you view your life in light of the fact that only too soon your life will cease as well as mine, and at that appointed time both our lives will have amounted to absolute nothingness. Contemplating the complete worthlessness of both our lives i struggle to find reason to take in that next breath, for you and me are but a squelch of static about to be tuned out. Our lives both lead up to the our deaths and no more will our influence be felt or or achievments mater. And as the sun about which our planet orbits goes nova all of life on earth will have been reduced to mere nothingness. Complete waste of time is what are lives our. Absolute horror is what it is. Unless of course you have encountered the simple undeniable message of Salvation in Christ Jesus. then every breath matters. And a great deal of people including yourself may shoot me down and mock, scoff, persecute me. Incessantly prodding me to prove my faith’s validity and existence. But my God speaks for himself, but he has said that those with ears may hear and those with eyes may see but their hearts will be cold and hard as stone and your understanding may never grasp the gravity of our situation on this forsaken ball. I break into tears as i consider our fates a waste of life and breath we are for what starts, ends, Unless you know the One who started it…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Dear Jill,
fear not that observable redshifts, star formation, galaxy distributions, and cosmic microwave background radiation measurements are all found to be consistant with Big Bang theory. Everyone knows that given any group of bored, over-educated scientists with too much government funding, no interest in broadcast sports, and with no member of the opposite sex to distract them can invent amazing feats of alchemy that would convince the brightest theologians of our time.
You might not want to connect Darwin to the Big Bang in public again; while he may have eaten dog crap a few times while on the Beagle, he had nothing to do with speculation that creation started with anything but sexual attraction of the fittest.
I pray to his Noodly Appendage that FSM will forgive your mocking critism of his followers.
(Please note that the US is creating an Iraqi democracy out of explosions as you read this.)
May you be forever blessed by FSM. RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
maybe your life will amount to absolute nothingness, although i seriously doubt it. my life won’t. my acheivements will matter, if only to my daughter and eventually her kids and my coworkers, friends, and lovers.
by the way, our sun won’t “go nova.” it will die an unspectacular death (and will probably outlast humanity) in about 5 billion years.
you are here, as well. noone is incessantly prodding you to do anything. i would prefer it if you would just can it, you and the rest of the christians who CANNOT take no for an answer. i am the one who feels persecuted by being forced by a reactionary minority to adhere to laws that follow “bob,” “dog,” “god,” whatever. i wish you guys would just do what you are going to do and quit trying to run everyone else’s life. come to think of it, that’s why this site is here in the first place, or had you not quite figgered that out yet?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You may mock the author of the letter that started this thread on his own Xanga website:
.
http://www.xanga.com/RkticFox
.
Enjoy
.
And mocked he should be … claiming that the FSM couldnt have created life before there was anything, yet his own ‘god’ supposedly did just that.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hey I didnt know Darwin figured out that a big explosion created everything, huh and I thought the first evidence of the Big Bang didnt come until the invention of the radio, and that white noise was just it’s remenants. Oh well, after all the Big Bang is “just a theory” you know like our explantions for Gravity and Magnetism, but then again how do we know Gravity isnt just the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s Stringy Tentacles pulling down everything? You know to keep his creation looking spic and span, he doesnt want any of his precious pirates floating out into space. Yeah that’s it isnt it, I have just now thought up the true explanation for Gravity, It’s the Theory of Intelligeint Falling. THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER IS ALL WISE AND ALL CARING THROUGH HIS INTELIGENT FALLING WITHOUT HIM WE WOULD ALL FLOAT OUUT INTO SPACE!!!! RAMEN.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I think I’ve found a thread…these hate mails seem to be coming from, surprise!, teenaged boys who for some reason find our pastafarianism a threat to their belief in God. What? Their pastor’s only telling them what he tells them because that provides his paycheck?! You mean that if he doesn’t keep a crowd, he has no cash flow?! You’re KIDDING ME! C’est Impossible! C’est Incroyable! Surement Dieu would not let such a thing be true!
May their minds be wiped clean by the Touch of His Noodly Appendage. RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
ok, so tell me how you can conclude that a “God†created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format.
C’mon, it may not be able to be presented in any kind of logical format, but can the christian theory be presented in a semi-logical format? don’t quote from the bible and what proof do you have left? only faith. so I have faith that FSM created this universe, enuff proof for ya?
the FSM can do anything your silly God can do, so I don’t know how you can be able to criticize it with your blasphemy while still believing that your God is real or better. There is just as much proof (or lack of proof) of the FSM as there is of “God”.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Hehe, Darwin inventing the big bang (not actually an ‘explosion’, btw Jill. How do people this stupid (or is it ignorant? No matter) still function? Are they allowed to drive cars?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Scarily enough, yes, they are allowedto drive cars Drunken Pirate. To Jill and the person who put up this hate mail: Open yer damn eyes already and see his great noodliness as the absolute!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously. The reason I ask, is because I truly wonder how you can conclude that a “A White Bearded Jewish Man†created and ordained life 4000 years ago. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and hope some more that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that The Flying Spaghetti Monster would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least.
Praying that you change, (into 16th cent Pirate Regalia)
Paul
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i agree drunken pirate! they shouldnt be allowed to drive cars! and people here are vary ignorant! well the ones that are God this and God that! i don’t like god…if you read the bible…he’s accutily quite evil… why must we have wars? shouldnt your wonderful god protect you from that? did you also forget that god casted the plage upon his creation? i belive he did it for a laugh!
just my opianion….
~shelly~
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“let me ask you something, when has an explosion created anything, never it destroys things.”
Seriously Jill you should just think before you open your bilge hole. This statement instead of being a valid argument just shows your ignorance of things like physics and nucleosynthesis. By exposing your ignorence on topics like atoms work and how this relates to the big bang you have undermined any future argument you may make. Dont believe in the big bang theory? Thats fine and perfectly ok. However, if you are going to debate something at least have a argument that has some logic and facts backing it up. Come with an informed statement instead of the factualy incorect argument you present. Your understanding of how the physical universe works is so lacking that I could never beleive anything you have to say about the metaphysical universe.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
So is this place a joke or what?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
If you read why it was created and what it’s all about, you’d understand and not have to ask the question. :) Be ye Touched by His Noodly Appendage. RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why do u automatically believe i am a christian? I didn’t say i was maybe I just believe there is a God.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
We assumed you were Christian becauzse Bhuddist fundies rarely send hate mail.
Whatever you are, please learn more about Darwin/the big bang theory before you post again. Thank you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Crap. ‘because’, not ‘becauzse’. Stupid keyboard….
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Belief does not equate with proof. If I truly believe in my heart that there is a diamond the size of a truck in my backyard, I would be happiest person around, merrily digging an ever bigger hole to find that diamond (forgive me Mr. Harris for paraphrasing you). However, the fact that I believe it is there, does not mean that it is.
Believing there is a Creator (whatever food group He/She/It might be) does not make it true. At this point in time, scientific evidence supports evolution. There is no scientific support for ID (no, Holy books of any religion do not count as scientific proof). When someone can provide solid, scientific evidence for ID, then I will 100% support teaching it in the classroom.
ID is thinly veiled religion, not science. When we begin accepting theories without scientific proof, we must open the window to any theory… and that includes Flying Spaghetti Monsters.
RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I’m praying to Jewdas, the mighty god of the Jews, that your head explodes.
And praying that one day my penis will outgrow my jew-nose so I can have my Barmitsfa.
13 Years doesn’t cut it anymore.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Please don’t pray for us. It would be a waste of your time as well as “god’s.”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Like ALL religions this has NO LOGIC.It doesnt need any If we follow the rules of the other religions it doesnt need to be proved because the answer to every question is THIS:OUR GOD ____________ (fill in the blank, jesus, budda, alhah, aphodite, easterbunny, FSM or whatever) created everything that exist.Thats our proof!!Sound a bit like the 3 abrahamic religions to you???
May i be embraced with the love of his noodly appendeges for all of eternity……..RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Time and time and time again those of us that use logic and reason to uderstand and attempt to better handle our existence run into the proverbial brick wall known as religion. It seems that there are those of us that don’t need any kind of reason and would prefer to take events that occured over 2000 years ago and were at best poorly recorded by those with a SPECIFIC agenda as the absoluete proof. Hell if i’m stuck dealing with these……(lacking the proper word to describe such people as the above listed) i might as well enjoy it. That is why i have converted the believeing in his noodly greatness. His noodly greatness has never started a crusade, been the purpose for a suicide attack, and is generally a nice kinda ….diety. So in conclusion why bother arguing with those that believe anything else from what i think (and the world was created 88 years ago and everything older then that is just made up to discredit my branch of belief, its in MY bible so it must be true….. so there you lose)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
oh and PS Jill every time i eat spaghetti i know that i can physically transmute the noodles and sauce into part of the actual noodly godliness of the wonderful one himself. Thus partaking in the holy sacrament of the blessed one him/her/itself. Thats why i love spaghetii so much its the real food of gods.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
STFU Hinderrob. Nobody cares. There is ONE and only ONE true god. and that is the flying spaghetti monster.
Peace be with ye scurvey seadogs.
Ramen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
HELLO…Henderbob is: Bobby Henderson (our prophet)Who placed these messages in the hate mail section
The user name is not displayed with the hate mail.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
isn’t believing in something such as the fsm just the same as believingin any other god… you can not say that the FSM didn’t create and ordaine life from before there was anything because you yourself have no proof of if this is true or false, just like the all mighty being people call “god” he could have been the creater of everything… or he could just be made up. YOU DON’T KNOW. if you would like to debate this topic email me at torch_09@hotmail.com these kinds of things are always fun, and remember…. you know nothings.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Maybe “God” is blasphemy of FSM!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well, if nothing else this is good for a “harty har har”, i have found that people take life too seriously when it come to religion… and most other topics as well, a joke is a joke and “God” would understand completely. And to comment on the real subject behind all of this, I say: if you want your child to learn a religious veiwpoint on our exsistence, sent them to a private, religious school. Religion has no place in the public school system (when we are speaking of the curriculum)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“What is of this God,” asked Gregor Mendal, to no one in particular, “If I can modify these pea plants as my own?” The FSM was right behind him, modifying Gregor’s data as to see it be correct. As he was tending to his plants, one day, Gregor noticed a mysterious Oversized Meatball at the base of his plant. He analyzed this, and noticed that it had Plenty of Nutrients and Minerals his plants found good. He could not account for the Meatball, even asking his chef, and was forced to ignore it as to meet Science’s demands. He stood before His God, “My God, what is of these Balls of Delicious Meat, standing at the base of my plants?” To which, the Pastafari replied, (in his best God Voice), “My son, that is but my own poop. We dieties poop too, but only after consuming loads of experiment-skewing data.” Gregor was confused, and His God was unvealed unto Gregor’s Self. “Just as I had put mine own meatballs in your garden,” said FSM, “I too, have put your God on this earth. He is but an illusion, like in Las Vegas magic acts.” Gregor was still confused, and went to his grave, a scientist.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i can’t quite comprehend myself how you can trust an ancient text that says some dude created something out of nothing, god isnt anything, nobody knows who he is, the FSM has a distinct personality and is very active. whereas your “god” is just a pre-determined phycological belief that you think is the truth because you havnt been properly educated, i blame this on your parents. i hope the FSM will forgive them
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Just like I said in another post: The TRUE GOD is THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. Until you realize the TRUTH you will not be blessed. I’ll pray for your souls.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Mike, Thor (Tor) is not the true god for a viking, it would be quite a list for you to mention them all, but Odin (Oden) should be mentioned first.
Vikings seldom pray, isnt killing someone better? Or shag someone? Thar’s more like it. More viking style.
Wierd, Christians worship a guy who has multiple personalities (father, son and holy spirit) and kill people by looking at them as the same time as he can wrestle with some people and don’t kill them, and has random tantrums and doesnt like humans learning things… And they think FSM is silly? I mean, he may be made from pasta and meatballs, but he isnt neurotic.
FSM (or Norse, for that matter) sounds like excellent choices.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Cyberatog,
But, THOR, GOD OF THUNDER, sounds much cooler than Odin. So, I’ll stick with Him.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
But there IS recent proof that His Noodlieness is active in our world! Joone was touched by His Noodley Appendage and inspired to write and produce the adult Pirate movie, which, in turn, will inspire many others (through the creative use of comedy and gratuitous sex) to become Pirates! Thus ending global warming! (Plus it’s fun to watch.) I ask you, Henderbob, what has your God done for you lately? Also, a warning to the non-believers! Dr. Atkins was struck down for spreading his blasphemous anti-Pasta propaganda. It’s like my mama always said, “If you don’t have something nice to say… I will defeat you with my astounding wit!” (Maybe my mom didn’t say that, exactly, but she did say something, of that I am certain.) As devout Pastafarians, my fellow worshippers and I get together periodically and watch this Pirate movie to hear His word, and then wrestle in giant tubs of spagetti, to make ourselves in His likeness. You should try it. Trust me, it’s much better than being dunked backwards into a kiddie pool and getting “saved” with no trained lifeguard on duty.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I may be a Heretic, but I know blasphemy when I see it! How do you know that the FSM did not create the Universe? Exactly, you don’t! You weren’t there, only the midgit was!
RAmen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Oh my goodness, Henderbob, I am sorry for having used your name in vain. Please replace my reference to Henderbob in my comment with “Anonymous Sender of Evil Hate Mail.” That is all. Arr.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You have GOT to be kidding ME. Seriously now, I have to ask is because I truly wonder how YOU can conclude that ‘God’ created and ordained life from before there was anything.
You replace the ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ with whatever deity you worship, and you will have things pretty much parallel. How is this an inaccuracy? After all, God is NOT a name. It is a title. Flying Spaghetti Monster is the name of the deity that the Pastafarianists. Do you even know the name of your God? I know it. I will not tell you the name of your God because YOU should know it on your own like a good little peon. But I will give you a hint, his name is not God.
How are there any blasphemies being committed? Do you even know what a blasphemy is? I doubt that you do.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I know what it means….write you name across the sky
oh shit I can’t you are with another guy
spaghetti monster
killing four
done sang me how many songs
and yet one more?
I am Barbara Stresiand
I am Celine Dione
I am lots of singers
and the chosen one
Why does he love me
When he is never there?
He writes a friggin song
To me out some where
I dare call him romantic
I do call him a cuss
He makes me angry
And I raise a fuss
I am spaghetti monster
I guess I always knew
When I say goodbye
I meant it too
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The poet of my heart…
A past, a present curse
I say what’s in your wallet?
He says what is in your purse?
I cuss him, I tell him off now
He says but why baby, how?
I wanted you from the very start
Why is it you push away my heart?
You’re the worm in the apple I cry
He says no I will love you until you die
I shout crab apple worm by the way
He said you did not hear a word I say
I say same to you and more of it too
He says, damn, girl I still love you
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I guess it’s a Garfield kind of cat
He says if home is where my heart is
what about my hat?
And she says oh go learn kung fu
cause home is where the bills are, not you.
There may be lots of women, but they do
not compare with the little red haired girl
whom once I thought was fair
Oh baloney I say to this guy
Rich belongs with rich
Ugly with ugly
and here is your last reply!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
No, he thinks he is a gangster of love
stealing and never having it
but he left me high and dry and now
he wants to go out to sea
And I have to face the music and my misery.
He thinks me heartless
He thinks I sat there where I sat
But I can tell you
every day I never forget
I just lived on, moved on
Little girls grow up
And gnarly as I am,
I am not his little pussy
Or the daughter of Siam.
Meow Garfield, though you were here
I know you can scratch out another
And you won’t get a lot of bother.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
So if I write his name across the sky
I start with way down under
And what once was a gentle rain
has turned into lots of rolling thunder
My little pudgy Leroy was not a toy
But a little sensitive boy
And he has a temper just like me
We both do for all to see
I get back at him, he laughs back at me
He just wants to say wait and see
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
FInally,
A religion that we can all take umbrage in!AAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I hate the fact that all of these Christians are posting angry messages on here. You guys don’t realize that the ‘facts’ (including books, etc) about the Flying Spaghetti Monster are just as valid as YOUR ‘facts’ and YOUR books. That is what the creators of this site are trying to tell you. You’re just too ignorant to believe that you may be wrong.
I utterly and completely pity you people.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Arg…the non believers are becoming more in number, this worries me. But no fear, they will one day go home, sit down, open a pack of beef flavoured ramen and something will touch them, be it the noodly apendage itself, or the divine power of the ramen, and they will then, and possibly only than, understand the error of their ways
and besides, lol the right wing weirdos need to relax dontcha think?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh my! oh I cracked up at that.
Not one person who has insulted the great FSM has been careful in doing so.
OHHHHHH MAN!
(continues laughing for hours)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Owen G
dont worry, think of it as a spambot attack. Someone finds this site while researching thier God on t’interweb, (which has more than subtle spagettiesque undertones) and then is forced to rush off to thier favorite forums and explain how shocking this site is, mocking people beliefs. This causes an uprising in the ranks who feel they must go explain the error of our ways in trusting in a false god.
I just dont trust people with big books that tell them how to live, especially when they only chose to live by some of them.
Thou shall not kill*.
* (Unless they dont believe in our God)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You’ve got to be kidding me if you believe your god created this earth. This planet belongs to the believes of FSM and we shall inherit the earth.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
….When you do, will you sublet some of it to me? Please?!? XD Seriously, though…There’s been so much in the news about religious fanaticism in governments that it’s just NICE to see a site like this. (That it can exist, that people aren’t scared about yelling their viewpoints out, etc., etc., etc.) I neither agree nor disagree; I just find it all very, very amusing, and more than a little reassuring. Thanks! *grin*
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Where was I when this whole thing started??? This is awesome! I will never look at a noodle the same way again…Ramen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I am a Christian and I say that you, by your devotion to FSM, you will be saved.
And now for something completely different: ziggy ziggy whoooooooooooooooooooooonoodlessssssssssss/\p3|\|@g3 with the bazooka that shoots chainsaws that are on fire.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
To The RkticFox
Are you able to prove to me that “god” created everything?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It’s a JOKE you moron.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I too, would like to see your *premises*.
Is it the humble garden studio apartment of an ascetic,
or maybe the glorious cathedral of a religion that really knows how to prove itself through, say, the biblically-sanctioned potential of slave labor?
I can only wonder…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It’s not a joke you moron. I suppose evolution is a joke and God is a joke? Nothing is funny, especially when it comes to pasta.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“praying that you change” oh thats hilarious!! you christian people are rediculous.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What the heck?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
How dare you question the existance of the lord o noodles, if you repent now he may forgive you for a life of ignorance
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Three cheers for ignorant christians!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
and a toast to all the other religions that produce haters for us to disprove!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yeah well the FSMs rubber and your god is glue, whatever you say bounces of him and sticks to you. Beat that you christan land lubber, Yarrrr!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
who was that to? I’m pastafarian.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
My invisible monster god can beat up your invisible monster god.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
hmm… our flying spagetti moster; or the thousand-headed, multi-headed hermaphrodite of the christians? GO FSM! BEAT THAT FREAK!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i seriously can not believe that a man with a physics degree can waste his life inventing a stupid religion. im not one to disagree or judge any religions but a stipper factory in heaven is far from belief. Beer volcanoes, wow, you definetly must have been bored. I have a kid that comes to my school who posts your retarded website on Christian school walls and lockers. the only thing i believe is that you are a total mental loser with nothing better to do with his life, making the rest of the world look like complete idiots.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Actually this post has nothing to do with anything, so feel free to remove it. But I came across a sighting of the Big Noodle in the following online comic strip and thought I should share it with my fellow believers.
http://www.bluecrashkit.com/index.php?date=2006-05-21
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The thing is dude, inifinite monkeys on infinite typewriters, one of them would be eating a cheese sandwich whilst playing the drums.
Infinite universes, and there is a flying spaghetti monster, and somewhere your own version of god (ie a man with a beard) and he is probaly doing a hell of a lot more for his followers than the “allmighty” is on this plane of existance.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Making the rest of the world look like idiots, indeed. Fellow followers of the FSM rejoice, for our work is done. Ramen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Well, henderob, I would like to see you conslude that an imaginary being created all of existance. For all you know, God could very well be The Flying Spaghetti Monster. Well, actually no, since FSM is Satan.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Is it only me, or is anyone aware that this people call their god a monster? isn’t that a bit weird? And where are the cameras?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
cameras, lisa? what use would we have for them? after all the Flying Spaghetti Monster IS invisible, and even if he wasnt, he would just clear the film/digital memory with a noodely appendage.
.
As for why we call him a monster, well… why not? We cant call him the flying spaghetti person, cos he aint a person. Monster is merely a term of respect for such a powerful being, and lets face it, a big blob of noodles, 2 meatballs, and 2 eyestalks is kinda monsterish (not -ous, just -ish).
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Yes, I will prey for you, too, and hope you don’t have too bad a time in our Hell, with all that stale beer and cafeteria Spaghetti…
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I love the smell of hipocricy in the morning. You can’t believe the FSM created the world? I can’t believe your God created the world. Who’s to say we’re right, or you’re right? No one knows, so insulting others because of it is stupid.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
BECAUSE, Margaret, they read it in their special book! That’s how they know! Of course it’s true, it says so right here… You know, there’s another book called “My Love Affair With Diamonds,” by Elizabeth Taylor… I wonder if we can base a religion off of that one. I would go to church ALL THE TIME!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I say e’s had enough of a tongue lashing let’s get to the real lashings tie em to the mast and throw salt in his wounds
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
i think that you people are simply failing to understand how the christian mind works. If all people were calculators then a christian would be one of those little blue ones you use in elementry school which can only add subtrack multiply right half of the time and is missing the division button. A Pastafarian is a slightly outdated scientific calculator which can preform most important functions to 10 digits. A person who advocates evolution is like a nice graphing calculator which can preform functions that half of the people using it don’t even fully understand. The little blue calculator is to simple to understand matricies or tangents.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You know what? This reminds me of my math teacher from high school, Mr. Gonzales, who used to say (in his enthusiastic monotone), “Matrices, people, are the word of god. Matrices can cure AIDS, people.” He loved matrices.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I suppose we have to give you credit for recognising at least that the only format that any debate between dogmatic systems could take would be “semi logical” at best.
Shine on you crazy diamond!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
My math teacher enver really taught us anything he just sort of graded all of the tests and was surprised when half of us failed. THen there was my other math teacher who got exited about math, im not talking like, well this is kinda interesting, im talking, YOU GUYS WILL REALLY LIKE THIS!!!!!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The Flying Spaghetti Monster is just as semi-logical as God.
FSM pwns!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
The RkticFox May his Noodlie Mightiness Make you Pasta dry and unpleasant!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Shut up.
Praying that you grow a few neurons,
Tabby.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Neurons grow? What sort of fertiliser do you use? Please don’t say bible clippings.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Bible clippings would probably make a great paper-mache pinata, though!
(Oh my goodness, I’m going to burn for that, too…)
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
dude, the flying spaghetti monster is gonna eat you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Omg teh spaghetti monster is t3h pwn. watch wat j00 says or t3h spaghetti monster will pwn you LOL!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jesus. Jesus Christ. You lot really don’t get it, do you?
IT. IS. NOT. WHAT. ANYONE. REALLY. FUCKING. THINKS. WE. ARE JUST TAKING. THE. PISS. OUT. OF. RELIGON. IN. GENERAL.
I mean, if the Bible was nominated for an award, I think that the people who made it all up(Who are now laughing like drains at all of you Christians. In *Heaven*cough) would be pretty pissed if it was for Humor. I’ve read the Bible. It just takes the factor of trying to make you laugh at ludicrous suggestions too far.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You gotta love this site – especially the hatemail-section :)
Good FSM !!! (PBUH)
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It is so easy to mock and make fun of what others consider sacred. After reading the many responses on this site I am again convinced that Christianity has it right. “None are righteous, no not one”. Jesus was a real historical person. There is plenty of historical evidence to research about him. You think Plato and Aristotle were brilliant try reading the book of Romans in the Bible. Or try reading Aquinas or Augustine. Go to Monergism.com and pick out any number of great men who believed and have lived their lives serving the One God. Try doing a little research before you so loudly mock others who have spent their lives believing in the unseen God. Blabbering about what you do not understand is not a sign of anything but foolishness.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Jesus was a real historical person. There is plenty of historical evidence to research about him. You think Plato and Aristotle were brilliant try reading the book of Romans in the Bible. Or try reading Aquinas or Augustine”
.
all of the above is true, there was a MAN called Jesus, who undoubtedly had some noodly ideas about not killing each other and so on. There’s proof to this effect. I’ve never argued against this, indeed i’ve yet to see anyone argue against this. what profoundly disturbs me is how we make the leap from there to being the son of god, or indeed t here neing a god. just because someone has a bright idea (and i include aquinas who has some great non theological works to his name) does not make the fact that theres a deity true, even if they say so.
.
Proof of one thing is not proof of another. Egyptian kings and queens definitely existed, there’s plenty of proof they existed – but were they living gods as they claim? proof of the first case is not proof of the devine.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jim,
Telling us to do a little research before mouthing off is a little stupid, some of us have given examples of great knowledge and understanding of the bible, I have also manage to read through the Koran (I must admit to not having a great understanding). My relgious studies exam (GCSE) went swimmingly, as it was baised on Christianity and I’d had 16 year of Cathlic upbringing my understanding of the bible is strong.
.
Not only this but of late I have been hugely interested in philosophy. And it is not just me I know plenty of people on this site have great back grounds and intellectual points to be shared and discussed. And while not all posts, are intellectual the site policy of non-censorship stands, I must admit that a few of my posts have used abusive and unintellectual comments but I reserve the right to reply as I see fit when I see fit. Plus fighting fire with fire while not correct is fun.
.
This site is a great and entertaining way of getting across a point of view. The same way church sponsors used cartoonists to mock Darwin. Jim you should look at yourself and your own understanding of the point that is beuing made here to realise that it is not mocking for mockings sake but a protest.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jim,
.
You are right that history is filled with men that served god and accomplished great things. They really didn’t have a choice did they? It isn’t too far back in history that to denounce God was a one-way ticket to the chopping block or worse. No doubt some of those great thinkers were sincere in their beliefs, but a little fact checking will show the number of sincere theists declines as the choke hold of the church loosens. Today, you will be hard pressed to find many true theists among the intellectual greats.
.
Incidently, there is good evidence from their own writings that many of the US Founding Fathers were not theists … deists perhaps, but not theists. Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Benjamin Franklin, George Washington, Thomas Paine and John Adams are among the obvious, but I doubt they were alone in their views.
.
As far as Aquinas goes, his ‘proofs’ are rarely cited today because the are easily proven flawed. The only one that is still used is the Teleological Argument, and I will gladly debate that with you since ID is what sparked this site.
.
RAMen.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“Jesus was a real historical person. There is plenty of historical evidence to research about him.”
As spider already mentioned, Jesus did exist and no one can deny that, not even us pastafarians. He is a historical person who had great ideas and tried to make the world a better place, but what is highly debatable and unable to be proven is whether he was the son of God. This, I find too hard to believe.
My seriousness is over, for I feel I have proven my point.
As for the FSM, He is clearly real and shall not be debated! I have been touched by His Noodly Appendage, and have seen the light of the pasta… FSM is just as provable as God, and I would like you to slurp your bolognaise on that one!
Prove this point, my fellow pastafarians!
RAmen!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
In retaliation, where is your proof that your “God” created life? An ancient book that has been translated from it’s original text? Well, we have a book too, so you can’t use that. I can’t see how your beliefs are any more logical than mine. Hey, at least my beliefs taste good.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Look what i found while looknig through the topic.
You’re kidding… right? So you belive spagetti and meatballs created the universe. You believe food created the deep blue seas, skys, and human beings? Whats next, Dog crap creating the Earth? All this is is an act of boredom, just like Darwin. He believed an explosion created the Earth, let me ask you something, when has an explosion created anything, never it destroys things. Who ever came up with this idea, I pray God will show mercy on you when you stand before his throne. End of quote.
Ok Darwin never came up with the big bang theory, infact he believed the universe was made by god, and i dont think it was boredom that made him discovery evolution. Any way evolution has nothing to do with the big bang at all.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@Jim…
`
It is so easy to mock and make fun of what others consider sacred. After reading the many responses on this site I am again convinced that Christianity has it right. “None are righteous, no not oneâ€. Jesus was a real historical person. There is plenty of historical evidence to research about him.
`
I have always said that the “Elect Jesus Christ for God” campaign was a stroke of marketing genius. It really changed the face of information distribution and religious conversion technique as well. I consider this irrefutable proof that there was indeed a Jesus Christ. With you so far.
and You think Plato and Aristotle were brilliant try reading the book of Romans in the Bible.
`
Okay, I’ll bite. Any passages in particular?
`
Or try reading Aquinas or Augustine. Go to Monergism.com and pick out any number of great men who believed and have lived their lives serving the One God. Try doing a little research before you so loudly mock others who have spent their lives believing in the unseen God.
`
Okay, I bit… from the website:
Monergism: The view that the Holy Spirit is the only agent who effects regeneration of Christians. It is in contrast with synergism, the view that there is a cooperation between the divine and the human in the regeneration process.
Wait… what?
Monergism is a redemptive blessing purchased by Christ for those the Father has given Him (1 Pet 1:3, John 3:5,6, 6:37, 39). This grace works independently of any human cooperation and conveys that power into the fallen soul whereby the person who is to be saved is effectually enabled to respond to the gospel call.
`
Okay, so… God picked a few people out of the billions who have ever lived (144,000 if I recall correctly) and according to this website… those are the only people going to heaven no matter what the rest of us do.
`
Well, that’s a relief. Either I won the lottery or I lost it, and in the meantime, it doesn’t matter what I do! Beer and strippers for everyone!
`
Blabbering about what you do not understand is not a sign of anything but foolishness.
`
Indeed?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously. The reason I ask, is because I truly wonder how you can conclude that a “GOD†created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and pray that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that the FSM would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least. Praying that you change,
Not My Real Name
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Lamna
.
You are missing the point of Darwinism, before this it was a held assumption to make something complex you need something more complex.
.
Now Darwin blow this out the water, so the assumption can therefore no longer be used as an assumption.
.
Now I am not doing all the work for you, How do you think this effects the way people think of how the Universe was created?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Jim-
“You think Plato and Aristotle were brilliant try reading the book of Romans in the Bible. Or try reading Aquinas or Augustine.”– Tried it. Found it rather boring, honestly. All those ‘thees’ and ‘thys’ and ‘burn in hells’….got old after the fifty millionth time, y’know?
-
“Go to Monergism.com and pick out any number of great men who believed and have lived their lives serving the One God.”–Super. Now you go and look up any of the thousands and thousands of great people who didn’t belive in god. Or who belived in some other god/ess/s altogether. What does that prove?
….Actually, not all that much. Who cares if Person A discovered some amazing thing and also happened to worship god? How does his being smart prove god is real? Also, may I just point out that tradition–belief in god–doesn’t automatically mean correct? Slavery was a tradition, shall we bring that back?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Ha… the best part about this hate-mail is that we could copy and paste it right back on christian websites. This guy is making an argument that can be used against his own beliefs.. noodles… some people are dumb.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
I might try that later
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
henderob:
You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously (etc)….
You are absolutely right. I agree with you on all points. We ARE kidding you.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
@White Beard
Henderob is Bobby Henderson, our prophet, he just puts all these up on the site. RkticFox wrote the mail, as noted at the bottom of the letter. Don’t worry, it’s a common mistake. Most of us make it.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
One thing I’d like to say:
How would you like it if I came into your church and tried to convert everyone? Rude? Obnoxious? Of course.
Besides. Who said that religion was filled with “premises and semi-logical conclusions?”
Isn’t the point of spirituality faith? That’s why they call it “believing.” You’re supposed to believe on faith, to [b]accept[/b]. The Bible, the Qu’ran — these are not semi-logical or filled with premises.
- Etay
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Why should I? And why do you even care?
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Great song. Taylor Swift is one of the best songwriters nowadays.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0