You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously. The reason I ask, is because I truly wonder how you can conclude that a “Flying Spaghetti Monster†created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and pray that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that God would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least. Praying that you change,
The RkticFox
You have GOT to be kidding me
Published by Bobby Henderson September 19th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 148 Comments
148 Responses to “You have GOT to be kidding me”
Scarily enough, yes, they are allowedto drive cars Drunken Pirate. To Jill and the person who put up this hate mail: Open yer damn eyes already and see his great noodliness as the absolute!
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You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously. The reason I ask, is because I truly wonder how you can conclude that a “A White Bearded Jewish Man†created and ordained life 4000 years ago. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and hope some more that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that The Flying Spaghetti Monster would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least.
Praying that you change, (into 16th cent Pirate Regalia)
Paul
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i agree drunken pirate! they shouldnt be allowed to drive cars! and people here are vary ignorant! well the ones that are God this and God that! i don’t like god…if you read the bible…he’s accutily quite evil… why must we have wars? shouldnt your wonderful god protect you from that? did you also forget that god casted the plage upon his creation? i belive he did it for a laugh!
just my opianion….
~shelly~
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“let me ask you something, when has an explosion created anything, never it destroys things.”
Seriously Jill you should just think before you open your bilge hole. This statement instead of being a valid argument just shows your ignorance of things like physics and nucleosynthesis. By exposing your ignorence on topics like atoms work and how this relates to the big bang you have undermined any future argument you may make. Dont believe in the big bang theory? Thats fine and perfectly ok. However, if you are going to debate something at least have a argument that has some logic and facts backing it up. Come with an informed statement instead of the factualy incorect argument you present. Your understanding of how the physical universe works is so lacking that I could never beleive anything you have to say about the metaphysical universe.
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So is this place a joke or what?
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If you read why it was created and what it’s all about, you’d understand and not have to ask the question. :) Be ye Touched by His Noodly Appendage. RAmen.
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Why do u automatically believe i am a christian? I didn’t say i was maybe I just believe there is a God.
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We assumed you were Christian becauzse Bhuddist fundies rarely send hate mail.
Whatever you are, please learn more about Darwin/the big bang theory before you post again. Thank you.
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Crap. ‘because’, not ‘becauzse’. Stupid keyboard….
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Belief does not equate with proof. If I truly believe in my heart that there is a diamond the size of a truck in my backyard, I would be happiest person around, merrily digging an ever bigger hole to find that diamond (forgive me Mr. Harris for paraphrasing you). However, the fact that I believe it is there, does not mean that it is.
Believing there is a Creator (whatever food group He/She/It might be) does not make it true. At this point in time, scientific evidence supports evolution. There is no scientific support for ID (no, Holy books of any religion do not count as scientific proof). When someone can provide solid, scientific evidence for ID, then I will 100% support teaching it in the classroom.
ID is thinly veiled religion, not science. When we begin accepting theories without scientific proof, we must open the window to any theory… and that includes Flying Spaghetti Monsters.
RAmen.
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I’m praying to Jewdas, the mighty god of the Jews, that your head explodes.
And praying that one day my penis will outgrow my jew-nose so I can have my Barmitsfa.
13 Years doesn’t cut it anymore.
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Please don’t pray for us. It would be a waste of your time as well as “god’s.”
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Like ALL religions this has NO LOGIC.It doesnt need any If we follow the rules of the other religions it doesnt need to be proved because the answer to every question is THIS:OUR GOD ____________ (fill in the blank, jesus, budda, alhah, aphodite, easterbunny, FSM or whatever) created everything that exist.Thats our proof!!Sound a bit like the 3 abrahamic religions to you???
May i be embraced with the love of his noodly appendeges for all of eternity……..RAmen
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Time and time and time again those of us that use logic and reason to uderstand and attempt to better handle our existence run into the proverbial brick wall known as religion. It seems that there are those of us that don’t need any kind of reason and would prefer to take events that occured over 2000 years ago and were at best poorly recorded by those with a SPECIFIC agenda as the absoluete proof. Hell if i’m stuck dealing with these……(lacking the proper word to describe such people as the above listed) i might as well enjoy it. That is why i have converted the believeing in his noodly greatness. His noodly greatness has never started a crusade, been the purpose for a suicide attack, and is generally a nice kinda ….diety. So in conclusion why bother arguing with those that believe anything else from what i think (and the world was created 88 years ago and everything older then that is just made up to discredit my branch of belief, its in MY bible so it must be true….. so there you lose)
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oh and PS Jill every time i eat spaghetti i know that i can physically transmute the noodles and sauce into part of the actual noodly godliness of the wonderful one himself. Thus partaking in the holy sacrament of the blessed one him/her/itself. Thats why i love spaghetii so much its the real food of gods.
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STFU Hinderrob. Nobody cares. There is ONE and only ONE true god. and that is the flying spaghetti monster.
Peace be with ye scurvey seadogs.
Ramen.
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HELLO…Henderbob is: Bobby Henderson (our prophet)Who placed these messages in the hate mail section
The user name is not displayed with the hate mail.
RAmen
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isn’t believing in something such as the fsm just the same as believingin any other god… you can not say that the FSM didn’t create and ordaine life from before there was anything because you yourself have no proof of if this is true or false, just like the all mighty being people call “god” he could have been the creater of everything… or he could just be made up. YOU DON’T KNOW. if you would like to debate this topic email me at torch_09@hotmail.com these kinds of things are always fun, and remember…. you know nothings.
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Maybe “God” is blasphemy of FSM!
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Well, if nothing else this is good for a “harty har har”, i have found that people take life too seriously when it come to religion… and most other topics as well, a joke is a joke and “God” would understand completely. And to comment on the real subject behind all of this, I say: if you want your child to learn a religious veiwpoint on our exsistence, sent them to a private, religious school. Religion has no place in the public school system (when we are speaking of the curriculum)
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“What is of this God,” asked Gregor Mendal, to no one in particular, “If I can modify these pea plants as my own?” The FSM was right behind him, modifying Gregor’s data as to see it be correct. As he was tending to his plants, one day, Gregor noticed a mysterious Oversized Meatball at the base of his plant. He analyzed this, and noticed that it had Plenty of Nutrients and Minerals his plants found good. He could not account for the Meatball, even asking his chef, and was forced to ignore it as to meet Science’s demands. He stood before His God, “My God, what is of these Balls of Delicious Meat, standing at the base of my plants?” To which, the Pastafari replied, (in his best God Voice), “My son, that is but my own poop. We dieties poop too, but only after consuming loads of experiment-skewing data.” Gregor was confused, and His God was unvealed unto Gregor’s Self. “Just as I had put mine own meatballs in your garden,” said FSM, “I too, have put your God on this earth. He is but an illusion, like in Las Vegas magic acts.” Gregor was still confused, and went to his grave, a scientist.
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i can’t quite comprehend myself how you can trust an ancient text that says some dude created something out of nothing, god isnt anything, nobody knows who he is, the FSM has a distinct personality and is very active. whereas your “god” is just a pre-determined phycological belief that you think is the truth because you havnt been properly educated, i blame this on your parents. i hope the FSM will forgive them
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Just like I said in another post: The TRUE GOD is THOR, GOD OF THUNDER. Until you realize the TRUTH you will not be blessed. I’ll pray for your souls.
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Mike, Thor (Tor) is not the true god for a viking, it would be quite a list for you to mention them all, but Odin (Oden) should be mentioned first.
Vikings seldom pray, isnt killing someone better? Or shag someone? Thar’s more like it. More viking style.
Wierd, Christians worship a guy who has multiple personalities (father, son and holy spirit) and kill people by looking at them as the same time as he can wrestle with some people and don’t kill them, and has random tantrums and doesnt like humans learning things… And they think FSM is silly? I mean, he may be made from pasta and meatballs, but he isnt neurotic.
FSM (or Norse, for that matter) sounds like excellent choices.
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Cyberatog,
But, THOR, GOD OF THUNDER, sounds much cooler than Odin. So, I’ll stick with Him.
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But there IS recent proof that His Noodlieness is active in our world! Joone was touched by His Noodley Appendage and inspired to write and produce the adult Pirate movie, which, in turn, will inspire many others (through the creative use of comedy and gratuitous sex) to become Pirates! Thus ending global warming! (Plus it’s fun to watch.) I ask you, Henderbob, what has your God done for you lately? Also, a warning to the non-believers! Dr. Atkins was struck down for spreading his blasphemous anti-Pasta propaganda. It’s like my mama always said, “If you don’t have something nice to say… I will defeat you with my astounding wit!” (Maybe my mom didn’t say that, exactly, but she did say something, of that I am certain.) As devout Pastafarians, my fellow worshippers and I get together periodically and watch this Pirate movie to hear His word, and then wrestle in giant tubs of spagetti, to make ourselves in His likeness. You should try it. Trust me, it’s much better than being dunked backwards into a kiddie pool and getting “saved” with no trained lifeguard on duty.
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I may be a Heretic, but I know blasphemy when I see it! How do you know that the FSM did not create the Universe? Exactly, you don’t! You weren’t there, only the midgit was!
RAmen.
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Oh my goodness, Henderbob, I am sorry for having used your name in vain. Please replace my reference to Henderbob in my comment with “Anonymous Sender of Evil Hate Mail.” That is all. Arr.
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You have GOT to be kidding ME. Seriously now, I have to ask is because I truly wonder how YOU can conclude that ‘God’ created and ordained life from before there was anything.
You replace the ‘Flying Spaghetti Monster’ with whatever deity you worship, and you will have things pretty much parallel. How is this an inaccuracy? After all, God is NOT a name. It is a title. Flying Spaghetti Monster is the name of the deity that the Pastafarianists. Do you even know the name of your God? I know it. I will not tell you the name of your God because YOU should know it on your own like a good little peon. But I will give you a hint, his name is not God.
How are there any blasphemies being committed? Do you even know what a blasphemy is? I doubt that you do.
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I know what it means….write you name across the sky
oh shit I can’t you are with another guy
spaghetti monster
killing four
done sang me how many songs
and yet one more?
I am Barbara Stresiand
I am Celine Dione
I am lots of singers
and the chosen one
Why does he love me
When he is never there?
He writes a friggin song
To me out some where
I dare call him romantic
I do call him a cuss
He makes me angry
And I raise a fuss
I am spaghetti monster
I guess I always knew
When I say goodbye
I meant it too
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The poet of my heart…
A past, a present curse
I say what’s in your wallet?
He says what is in your purse?
I cuss him, I tell him off now
He says but why baby, how?
I wanted you from the very start
Why is it you push away my heart?
You’re the worm in the apple I cry
He says no I will love you until you die
I shout crab apple worm by the way
He said you did not hear a word I say
I say same to you and more of it too
He says, damn, girl I still love you
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I guess it’s a Garfield kind of cat
He says if home is where my heart is
what about my hat?
And she says oh go learn kung fu
cause home is where the bills are, not you.
There may be lots of women, but they do
not compare with the little red haired girl
whom once I thought was fair
Oh baloney I say to this guy
Rich belongs with rich
Ugly with ugly
and here is your last reply!
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No, he thinks he is a gangster of love
stealing and never having it
but he left me high and dry and now
he wants to go out to sea
And I have to face the music and my misery.
He thinks me heartless
He thinks I sat there where I sat
But I can tell you
every day I never forget
I just lived on, moved on
Little girls grow up
And gnarly as I am,
I am not his little pussy
Or the daughter of Siam.
Meow Garfield, though you were here
I know you can scratch out another
And you won’t get a lot of bother.
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So if I write his name across the sky
I start with way down under
And what once was a gentle rain
has turned into lots of rolling thunder
My little pudgy Leroy was not a toy
But a little sensitive boy
And he has a temper just like me
We both do for all to see
I get back at him, he laughs back at me
He just wants to say wait and see
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FInally,
A religion that we can all take umbrage in!AAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!
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I hate the fact that all of these Christians are posting angry messages on here. You guys don’t realize that the ‘facts’ (including books, etc) about the Flying Spaghetti Monster are just as valid as YOUR ‘facts’ and YOUR books. That is what the creators of this site are trying to tell you. You’re just too ignorant to believe that you may be wrong.
I utterly and completely pity you people.
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Arg…the non believers are becoming more in number, this worries me. But no fear, they will one day go home, sit down, open a pack of beef flavoured ramen and something will touch them, be it the noodly apendage itself, or the divine power of the ramen, and they will then, and possibly only than, understand the error of their ways
and besides, lol the right wing weirdos need to relax dontcha think?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh my! oh I cracked up at that.
Not one person who has insulted the great FSM has been careful in doing so.
OHHHHHH MAN!
(continues laughing for hours)
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Owen G
dont worry, think of it as a spambot attack. Someone finds this site while researching thier God on t’interweb, (which has more than subtle spagettiesque undertones) and then is forced to rush off to thier favorite forums and explain how shocking this site is, mocking people beliefs. This causes an uprising in the ranks who feel they must go explain the error of our ways in trusting in a false god.
I just dont trust people with big books that tell them how to live, especially when they only chose to live by some of them.
Thou shall not kill*.
* (Unless they dont believe in our God)
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You’ve got to be kidding me if you believe your god created this earth. This planet belongs to the believes of FSM and we shall inherit the earth.
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….When you do, will you sublet some of it to me? Please?!? XD Seriously, though…There’s been so much in the news about religious fanaticism in governments that it’s just NICE to see a site like this. (That it can exist, that people aren’t scared about yelling their viewpoints out, etc., etc., etc.) I neither agree nor disagree; I just find it all very, very amusing, and more than a little reassuring. Thanks! *grin*
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Where was I when this whole thing started??? This is awesome! I will never look at a noodle the same way again…Ramen!
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I am a Christian and I say that you, by your devotion to FSM, you will be saved.
And now for something completely different: ziggy ziggy whoooooooooooooooooooooonoodlessssssssssss/\p3|\|@g3 with the bazooka that shoots chainsaws that are on fire.
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To The RkticFox
Are you able to prove to me that “god” created everything?
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It’s a JOKE you moron.
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I too, would like to see your *premises*.
Is it the humble garden studio apartment of an ascetic,
or maybe the glorious cathedral of a religion that really knows how to prove itself through, say, the biblically-sanctioned potential of slave labor?
I can only wonder…
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It’s not a joke you moron. I suppose evolution is a joke and God is a joke? Nothing is funny, especially when it comes to pasta.
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“praying that you change” oh thats hilarious!! you christian people are rediculous.
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What the heck?
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How dare you question the existance of the lord o noodles, if you repent now he may forgive you for a life of ignorance
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