You have GOT to be kidding me…seriously. The reason I ask, is because I truly wonder how you can conclude that a “Flying Spaghetti Monster†created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and pray that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that God would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least. Praying that you change,
The RkticFox
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
this is funnier than I thought it would be :p
I will also pray in the hope that you will see the error of your ways and be blessed by His Noodley Appendage.
How can you conclude that any big invisible monster created the universe? It’s something you can neither prove nor disprove. Therefore you cannot disprove that said big invisible monster takes the form of spaghetti & meatballs, so I’ll have my big invisible monster with parmesan thanks.
Until you’re willing to reach out for His Noodly Appendage, the only things that await you in the afterlife are dishwashing, sanitary duties, and flat, lukewarm beer - and I challenge you to disprove me.
RAmen!
Any god who is so concerned about this kind of ‘blasphemy’ is a mite too thin-skinned for my way of thinking. Gee, I hope that doesn’t make me a ‘bad person’.
If only these blasphemers had spent the time to open up and learn the truth from his book. Everyone would be able to see the way and people would quit following the wrong path and be blessed by his greatness. Please read the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to learn all about everything. After reading this, you will know.
Avast yee scurvy dog! How come we not bein’ able to be believin’ that thar giant flying spaghetti monster had bein’ created all the Buccanneer’s we be seein’ all the world round? By the powers! We be havin’ the right do be doin’ and thinkin’ anythin’ a right bein’ heald by all yee fellow Swashbucklin’ Matey’s! And then yee scurvy dog be comin’ about and actin’ like a right squiffy with yar accu…accu… your mean talkin’s and all that thar stuff. Just bein’ rememberin’! When yee be at the end of yar rope and be headin’ to Davy Jones’ Locker. We all be Loaded to the Gunwales with the finest, greatest, Grog ever to be bein’ seen! Ahoy! Wench! Be brin’in’ more grog for me matey’s won’t yar? Yo ho ho!
Ditto, ye scurvy dog.
Alas, only the true sinners cannot see the way of our higher pasta. I feel sorry for people that don’t have an open mind. Brainwashing sucks!
Arrrgh! Them’s fightin words! I challenge you to some ass-fighting! I bet your coccyx is tiny and puny! Run, run, while you have a chance to save your pasta-starved patheticness!
Blasphemy?! Blasphemy?
Those be strong words me boy. Arr, when the wind howls and yer sails fray and yer ship gets tossed about like a cork in a bowl carried by a comely fat wench ye may be startin’ t’ think that a prayer to ye olde Flyin’ Spaghetti Monster might not be such a bad idea!
Since today be Talk Like a Pirate Day, I need be replyin’ to yer traitorous comments like this. The Almighty Flying Spaghetti Monster be the Alpha n’ Omega. He create all things such as buried treasure n’ cutlasses. Let all who mock our beliefs while declarin’ their beliefs correct walk the plank n’ meet their cold, dark end in Davy Jones’ locker! ARRRRRRRRR!
Where’s me parrot?
Ye’ve got to love them christians.
To be usin’ the biggest argument against christianity against his noodly wonderfulness, surely that be the height of landlubberly foolishness.
I says to flog ‘em round the fleet with the tagliatelle grande.
How can you conclude that a “God” created and ordained life from before there was ANYTHING. I really would be interested to see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. The other thing, is that I hope and pray that you realize your dreadful inaccuracy and pray that Flying Spaghetti Monster would forgive you of your blasphemies. They are truly dishonoring at the least. Praying that you change,
Cap’nUberbob
hmmm, i too sometime wonder how he could create and ordained life before the universe came to existance, then i think to myself hey maybe he comes from the unverse, or the oldverse, or the multiverse, with quantum mechanics it’s proven that it’s possible that a multiverse is possible( so a maybe). take for exemple a dice, you can get from 1 to 6, by throwing it you get a equal chance to get 1,2,3,4,5 and 6, and in a multiverse you can get all 6 just in different universe. So he could be from another universe where he is a commoner or anything possible and decide to come here a create this universe. Or this could be a dream and the flying spaghetti monster is just sleeping and he’ll wake up sometime and we will simply cease to exist. that’s how he create mountains, trees and midgets
It must be pretty rough having such frail beliefs that you feel challenged by something like this.
And in honor of talk like a pirate day:
Cap’n: “Yar, where arrrr me buccaneers?!”
Scurvy Cur: “On th’ side o’ yer buccanhead!”
The amazing thing about America is that it is filled with a diverse culture of race, ethnic, and religious beliefs. However, you don’t see a “redressed†version of Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhim, Baha’I, or any other religion being presented as scientific evidence of its existence and true superiority. Redressed Christianity has no place in the science class. There is absolutely nothing scientifically measurable about an “imaginary guy in the sky†nor a monster creating midgets (although it is a great laugh and wonderfully satirical concept)!
I do however believe that a logical resolution needs to be achieved, but not by subjecting our children to religion unfairly represented as science. In turn there is a need for all students in every country to be subjected to a mandatory, non-bias, and wholly objective world religion class. Which the top 10, 15, 20 (whatever number decided upon) religions are explored and researched in an open discussion class. The teacher should be absolutely non-bias and be present to help fuel the discussions, and steer them when needed. The testing should be on the religious concepts, important moral and socially benefiting material, as well as grossly negative aspects. The objective of the class would be to mold young adults into open minded adults with the ability to accept others and their points of view rather than condemn, ridicule, and hate. Until there is acceptance and hate can be deterred we will have wars, and senseless slaughtering of human life. Humans are not born to hate we are molded by society. Unless something is done, by society as a whole, to embed acceptance in others hate and destruction is inevitable. For instance, Pope Benedict’s comments about Islam…..if that is not “the pot calling the kettle black†I don’t know what is. I ask, has the pope ever heard of the crusades or witch hunts?
Aye, and I be wonderin’ who be this ‘God’ that some o’ me more superstitious mates keep pipin’ on about.
Another Pirate Joke: A Pirate walks into a bar with a boat steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender asks, “What’s with the steering wheel?†The Pirate responds, “Arrr it’s driving me nuts!â€
One of my favorites.
Arrrrgh, I be a new convert. These letters must be printed for a future version of ouRRRR holy text
My favorite part of that letter is the writer’s request to “see your premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format.” I would love to see ANY religion’s attempt to provide premises and conclusion in a semi-logical format. I’m not sure… is he taking Pastafarianism seriously the same way that he takes his own religion seriously, because he seems to have missed the joke. I will be sure to pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster for him, or perhaps to the waffle stuck to my kitchen ceiling, or the dancing hula girl on my car dashboard.