If I believe you are going to burn in hell for eternity if you fail to do something and I know what it is your supposed to do but don’t tell you what it is you need to do then I am a monster of the worst kind. Your problem is that you do not want to belive that you might go to hell because you know what the remedy is but you’re not prepared to take it. You’ve got it backwards. It is the Christians that know how to help you but don’t bother to because they just want to get along with everybody that you should be sickened by not those who are prepared to be mocked by you as long as they can help you make sure you get to heaven. It’s my job as a christian to lead people to Christ and I count it a blessing to be mocked in His name. Mock me all you want. I hope we can have a good laugh about it between singing songs of praise to the Lord God Almighy in heaven.
Peace.
Peace.
Steve
This movement is a really great idea that many do not understand. It really is a shame that humanity as a whole can’t step back and objectively look at itself and realize the sameness of us all. Regardless of your religious belief the true debate remains on whether we allow a untouchable, untestable, unprovable force act as our scientific explanation. OR we continue to use our five senses to collect and observe the natural world around us to look for explanation and repeatable process that accurately predict outcome. The debate over evolution is an attack on science as an industry. In my line of work if the scientific method is allowed to contain a loop hole of: “God wanted it to happen.”, “The FSM must have touched it with his noodley appendage.”, “Divine intervention”, I removes the repeatability and validity of my results. Though the previous statements would make my job easier and my line of work only partly affects humanity as a whole, this handicap given to areas like medical research and wildlife management could potentially cause a new generation stepping backward from the progress made in the last 500 years.
So while the debate rages of what god(s) to believe in, the role of mankind in the evolutionary process, and which religion is right, please stop and think on the this idea: How do you want your children, future scientist, and future engineers to use the scientific method? Using only observable evidence has allowed for the advancement of the computer you’re reading this on, the medicine when you’re sick, the car you drive, the soap you wash with, the clothes you wear and many other things.
I’m not stating that you should not have your deity in your mind, heart, soul. I’m saying that I want you to keep your deity out of my science.
Holy wars and intolerance are caused by the lack of communication between sides. The inability to place one’s self in the other person’s shoes. Names and hateful ideas further the division. I suggest if one wants to be taken seriously one should use words and actions of respect. Please keep this in mind when you post you opinions, it is easier to communicate when defenses are down.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and remember FSM, Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hindu, Buddhism, etc. are not my concern; please just keep science scientific.
Thank you,
M.L.B.
Well stated my friend!
A big “Huzzah” for incoherent hatemail!
Mock, and the door shall be opened….
RAmen
Arrrgggg
Have I arrived too late for the sing along?
Beautiful, M.L.B.!
“Your problem is that you do not want to belive that you might go to hell because you know what the remedy is but you’re not prepared to take it”
Hey Steve, the concern for our souls and not flaming us is a nice gesture. But here’s where I see an impasse.
You believe, as an act of faith, that there’s heaven, hell, the ethical Christians go to the former, the bad guys and non-believers roast in the latter.
While I believe, just as strongly that ethics, charity, kindness etc are to be held highly, but no one religion has a monopoly on God. So I am incapable of seeing your remedy as the only way.
Furthermore, the idea of a loving god casting people into eternal torment for the simple crime of not believing in him, seems very contradictory. Which leads me to two scenarios. 1. God’s loving, forgiving and all of that, or… 2. God casts unbelievers/the irreverent into eternal hellfire for not believing in him, which would be like me taking my dog to the pound because she stole my sandwich.
First scenario, I, and the rest of us kind-hearted heathens are fine. Second scenario, I’d rather not kiss up to an omnipotent petty jerk in which case I’ve made my choice.
So… since my own religion points to something similar to the first scenario, I have to decline your offer of singing songs of praise. My voice would make a deaf cat howl. But I would be happy to join you for a mango smoothie and nice plate of pasta, I-told-you-sos held back.
This guy’s no fun. When’s Fatima coming back?
I don’t get it. Why are people so upset about the FSM? I know that many others have said the same thing in numerous ways, yet I can’t stop myself. When I heard the word about the FSM, I literally thought, “Now here’s something I can believe in! I’m home at last.” That was after I stopped laughing. I have never felt that way about Christianity or Jesus. I can’t help it. I just can’t buy it. Furthermore, I don’t want to buy it. Am I a potential convert to Christianity that has been nabbed by the enemy? Is that what they are so angry about.? There are plenty of other people in the world that the Christians can convert. So they lost one. They never had me in the first place.
did God invent the comma on the eight day?
Yeah, Fatima was like a rabid hatemail freak!
That was so funny I’m still crying.
I’m gonna die laughing.
To add to the comments by Drosera, how can a diety maintain that it/he/she is just when it/he/she gives a person free will and then punishes them to eternal damnation for using it? Seems like a rigged game to me…
To add to Juannino’s comment, as somebody once remarked, the problem with the Judaeo-Christian notion of hell is that it invovles inifinite punishment for finite wrongdoing.
Nobody has ever been able to explain to me how this fits with the concept of a ‘loving god’.
And I’d be far more convinced by hate mail that was properly spelled and punctuated.
Or perhaps not.
They just dont get it. Everyone knows god came from somewhere(duh). God is just His lacky. Jesus may have died for our sins, but who gave Jesus his last supper? (pwnd if i do say so my self) P.S. Was the first midget the “roaming gnome”?
While I can admire Steve’s deddication to his beliefs I have to say I feel he takes it a bit far. If you have told someone what you- as a Christian- believe and they fail to accept it and make it their own then you need to take the hint and let it go. One of two things will most likely happen if you fail to. 1. If the person had any slight interest in crossing over into your belief then pushing them to far is going to lession the chance. You ought to let them take the time to mull over the idea on their own- but accept it if they choose not to follow you. 2. If there is no chance of them changing to your philosophy they are at best going to resent you for being overbearing and at worse they are going to start acting out against what you believe. What really bothers me about Steve’s message- besides that second sentence being a bit confusing- is that it is in response to a request to realise that science and religion should not be used to justify eachother- it can’t work. Science is what we can see and test in the physical world. I don’t care how devout you are- God is not something which can be proved by science. Go ahead and teach religion in school for all I care- objectively and not just a single religion would be best- but keep it out of the science class.
Dear Steve:
so, if I believe that killing puppies and children is wonderful and when I fail to follow this “ideal” I am the worst monster of all time. So, I am off the hook with others because I believe this to be true with all my heart?
I am mocking you because you are mock worthy. Believing something is true does not make it true. People believed, quite sincerely, that Hitler was a wonderful and just person. People believe that speaking out against the things we disagree with is unpatriotic. People believe in UFOs and astrology. Belief does not equate to truth; it is merely belief.
If you wish to believe in God, heaven and hell, then more power to you. But, if I have to be threatened to believe as you do, then is my belief valuable? I say that coerced belief is not true belief. If I act in ways to keep myself from eternal damnation, then I am acting in a selfish manner. But, if I act to help others with no concern about eventual reward (because I find it unlikely that this paradise exists), then my actions are far better than those who fear punishment for their lack.
Those of you who proclaim your love for others and God while preaching hate and fear are only deluding yourselves. If there is a just God, then it will recognize and reward “good” acts that non-believers commit. And, it will see the selfish and ancaring acting that “believers” commit. If there is any justice, then the believers will enter paradise and be distraught about the exclusion of the believers who strayed from the path of kindness and humility.
I hope you can let go of your arrogance and strident nature before it is too late. Remember that the meek shall inherit the earth, but you, sir, are not meek by any stretch of the imagination. And, no matter what you believe about yourself, you are causing more harm than good with your attitudes and written hatred.
“the problem with the Judaeo-Christian notion of hell is that it invovles inifinite punishment for finite wrongdoing”
Fortunately, the vast majority of American Jews shun the ridiculous “Lake of Fire” idea.
Could it really be a lake, anyways? I mean, how big does a lake get before it becomes a sea or an ocean or whatever? Wouldn’t it be crowded? There aren’t that many Jews in the world, so there’d be a lot of people in this supposed “lake.” Maybe that’s the idea, it should be really crowded so if someone farts it’d really suck. I like that and I’m afraid of it so now I will wear a silly hat or pray to a ceramic figure on two sticks so that I might not have to live in a lake or pond or something when I die. PS, a “Sea of Fire” would be way worse, because salt water kicks your ass if you get cut. Fresh water feels really nice.
how about in my religion: the easiest level of hell-fire is where you are strapped down and your feet are boiled to the point where your brain sizzles… good thing God has infinite mercy, or else i would be screwed.
Heh, well, as an American Jew I can say that no Jew I know accepts the Lake of Fire concept. Actually, I was taught in hebrew school that Jews don’t believe in hell period. (Of course, I slept through most of hebrew school, so I might be wrong on that one.)
Been thinking about it. You know, the bible was written a really long time ago on clay tablets or something. Maybe they missed a word or two when they translated it into American, and came out with the comic-book version. Could it have been that…
Lake of Fire
originally said,
Lake of Fire-Water
Everyone knows that’s wiskey… Aquavit… Grappa… Rum…
In heaben, it’s a beer volcano. Down below, it’s a lake wiskey. See, Dog is merciful, either way it’s a party, Aarggg!
Arr, matey.
International Talk Like A Pirate Day be September 19th, which my calcumalations show to bein tomorrow…so talk liken you be a pirate, yeh scallywag!
I wonder if there will ever come a time when people are nice to people and do nice things just for the sake of being nice. The thought of being burned in hell for failure to do so wouldn’t even occur to them. They wouldn’t even think of the rewards, either. I don’t like the idea of a heaven and a hell, because it inspires greed and arrogance.
oh, and ARRRRR!
Wat the hell is wrong wit u physco chirstians…so much for letting people find their own spiritual way to god and alll….it nnot these guys whose the physcho ‘fuks’ as u would put it but u are the true physco fucks…leave this site alone, they r a different religion and i for eone support them on their courage.
so i say to you weird, fuking idiot superchristians…
“let my pickle go” —–Quote from Moses the Pickle
u phyco bastard…..stop removing my posts
stop removing fre3dy’s posts
I have a question… If all you people hate the idea of FSM so damn much, why do you sit here and preach at people who really don’t give a damn? If we’re to be damned for worshipping a spaghetti monster, then I’ll be damned anyday.
RAmen, bitches.
Bother, that’s a really good question. I’ve wondered it myself. I’ve been damned time and time again, and I don’t want to repent to the Christian God. So there it is. I’m supposedly going to Hell. I hate it when that happens. As an aside, can someone give me some ideas of what to say tomorrow at work to celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day? I know some basics, but I need help.
I feel ashamed of this country. We make many scientific advancements, and we begin to revert to the dark ages because it is religiously sound. I do not want my children learning of myths as fact, and I do hope that it will not reach that point. And for this reason, I support the FSM for their use of “reductio ad absurdum” on such a large scale.
try http://www.talklikeapirate.com/howto.html#basic or the video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2cKCkbWDGwE
I believe in Christ and God and the Bible. And i find the man who created this site a truely brilliant man and he has found a way to get his point across… good for some shits and giggles too. but you cant even begin to truely call yourself christians when you bash someone by calling them “fucking idiots” and saying “shit” and “damn” evey five words. how can you even utter that crap when the man you call your Lord (mine too) and Savior taught ultimate understanding and acceptance….. ALL OF YOU CHRISTIANS ON THIS PAGE AND EVERYOTHER PAGE BASHING SOMETHING YOU DONT THINK IS RIGHT JUST MAKE THE REST OF US LOOK BAD AND LIKE RADICAL MORONS.
P.S. to the guy who wrote this page… dont stop its great
Do you remember the 2 reporters who were kidnapped in Iraq a few weeks ago? All they had to do was recite 2 lines saying that they had converted to Islam and they were set free. Will your god forgive them because they denounced him to save their lives? What would he do? This site is to show how ridiculous the idea that ID is science and should be taught in school. If only one viewpoint of religion is taught, how can that be an accurate description of a god or other diety? To truly understand what this site represents you must be open to other ideologies than your own. You must learn to laugh at yourself so that you may start to understand how ridiculous the thought of teaching a single religious viewpoint is. THIS is what is truly represented on this site. It is people like you, Steve, that give religion a terrible name. This site is a place for people of similar interest to gather and discuss other viewpoints on religion itself. We mock those that do not understand what the church of the FSM is truly about. For the record, I consider myself agnostic. It is MY BELIEF that IF there is a god, be it christian, tao, a FSM or whatever, then the day of my judgement will show that I was not set to a single religious belief, but that I had an open mind on what religion itself truly is and what it means. Before you can call yourself christian, follow what you are supposed to preach.
I’m totally confused , is it red or white wine with spaghetti? Come on people its caled comedy ,satire,sarcasm or whatever your particular belief or non belief calls it. Bottom line :LIGHTEN UP!!!!!!!!
“I hope we can have a good laugh about it between singing songs of praise to the Lord God Almighy in heaven.
Peace.” -steve
Hey steve,
no disrespect to you or anyone but have you ever heard the belief that some people in heaven will enjoy watching the people in hell suffer? this is what you are saying in the quote above! doesnt that sound immoral and non-christian to you?
After taking an admittedly cursory glance at this list of replies I can only say one thing: I am ashamed of a lot of the “Christians” who have decided that the best way to demonstrate their faith in Christ is to try to shout down anything that they don’t agree with or think is wrong. I am a Christian myself and I believe that God is a very real presence in the world. I don’t expect everyone I meet to believe the same thing I do. In fact, I am often surprised when I meet a Christian on the street who really understands what Christianity is all about. I have no problem with sitting down and explaining my beliefs to those who ask and really want to know. I welcome the chance to do so, but I will never attempt to force anyone to believe in the things that I believe in. It’s not my job to convert anyone. My job is to present the facts and the reasons for my belief to the best of my ability to anyone who asks. The rest is up to God. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that Jesus forced anyone to believe that He was God or that His teachings were correct. He never used threatening language, though He did call the religious establishment “hypocrites” and “whitewashed tombs,” which was justified considering that they did not follow their own laws and were misleading the entire population. I believe very firmly that God would be amused by this site to say the least. He seems to have a sense of humor, I mean look at the platypus. At any rate, the “Christians” who have nothing better to do than sit at their computers and spit rage at things they don’t agree with need to reread their Bibles and realize that Jesus Christ would be ashamed of their actions. I doubt that He would appreciate their attempt at “conversion at the point of a sword” so to speak. Thanks for your time. Any comments or replies that anyone really cares that I read, if any, would probably be better sent through my Myspace account as I’m sure I’ll check that more often than this site.
This website is so cool. I LOVE the FSM!
Oh and all of you hate mongerers, why don’t you go rant to your “god” I bet he cares alot more then we do!
Arrrrrrrr blistering barnacles!
To the poster of the ‘Hate-Mail’
Are you serious?
PRAISE BE TO THE ALL MIGHTY COMMA!!!! TREMBLE IN THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS THUS! “,” AWESOMENESS!!!! LIKE TIMES A MILLION!!! BY THE WAY EXCLAMATIONS UP THE WAZOO, AND CAPITOL CITY!!!!
P.S. Plutos will engulf you all.
Aargh me hearties, while an undergraduate on the dark continent I did happen upon a fellow seeker after enlightenment (passed out under a pool table I think) who got his clammy paws on one of those metal button making machines, and he produced this gem “When Jesus comes back, boy is he gonna be angry”. As a merry rumrat I would like to suggest that a substantial number of the sulpher flingers from the Jud/Christ side of the organised religion fraternaty should cogitate upon this.
Case Study:
In South Africa where I am from we are in the process of introducing gay marraige legislation - man you have got to see Christian love in action - marches down the high streets, banners and all the other hypocracy that the God botherers can think of.
I am pretty sure that the FSM and his piratical followers would never do that (those voyages can be long me pretty - any porthole in a storm) - at the same time we have a Pastor who is on trial for turning his 14 year old adopted daughter into a sexslave. I bet you if he had not been incarcerated at the time he would have been leading one of those marches…
I agree with M.L.B…if you take the idea that “God wanted it to happen” to its logical conclusion, we would all be Amish, except with even less to help us…maybe wheels in the shape of a cross, because that is a divine shape?
I am happy in a heaven with beer volcanoe and stripper factory. I am damn glad that I am not in facist heaven where they are singing songs of praise to the Leader. Sounds very Stalinist.
Hell do be a perverse concept. So much so, that it be obvious that there is no such place, and it do be a scare tactic to keep those who do believe from questioning too much.
For instance, consider if someone did tell you that there did be a kind fellow that do wait until we do die. And then this fellow do decide that if you do no believe in a rather improbable and, by current notions of conduct within the universe, sometimes impossible scenario, then you do be punished for ever. I would no call him kind if he spared me and let a single person meet that fate. Now do consider that most people do call this fellow omniscient (which do mean “all-knowing”) and Creator. Then this fellow did design people who could no believe such things, knowing full well that he would punish them as a result. I would call this fellow a monster, stab me eyes.
It do be a good thing that no such fellow do exist, and anybody that do tell you otherwise do be a bloody liar.
AHOY! This “henderob” fellah sure makes for a laugh when you read his statement out lout while pretending you have an extra chromosome!
….he spelled believe wrong….more than once
wow, if he doesn’t even know how to write the English language correctly than how can he be sure he’s reading the bible correctly.
alright. I have one thing to say to you. Peace be with you, and heaps of pasta and beer for us.
i just find it hillarious that anyone, never mind so many, would believe in a propagandist religion that is based solely upon the belief that if you dont join, youll go to hell and be tortured forever, and if “Christianity is the body that God works through to show His love on earth” (pulled off the site http://www.christianity.com/WhatIsChristianity/
third sentence third paragraph) then the “God” that Christians believe in must hate us all, except for those who become his slaves, hell, he probably isnt even A god never mind THE god, he was a good perfectly human ventriloquist with a torch, who convinced people to do what he wanted them to do by burning down bushes, and giving everyone some really, really, really, good weed, hence his silence since the days of Moses
that and the fact that if “God” made Human Beings in “His” image, he must be pretty messed up in the head, just look at the stuff that we do to each other, if were ALL made in gods image, then we must be images of god, and he would be one fat/skinny tall/midget multicoloured suicidal-but-not drug addict-but-not criminal/cop arsonistic-fireman that would need more then seven years for a thought to go through his very fucked up “mind” that he wouldnt be able to move his finger in a week, never mind make the world, and then rest on the last day.
Henderob is a BELIVER…he belives??? I believe we should all fork over a little of our booty and get Henderob THE BOOK he that will save him…a dictionary. AAARRRGH! I’ve been to Hell, it’s in Michigan. It’s actually quite nice.
I don’t much like intelligent design politically, though I am a Christian.
I personally find this site as funny as hell. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is an optional deity in my Daoist Catholic Church, of which I am the Prophet. The others are Reverse Jesus, Allah w/mohammed, and Jesus. I just tried to accomodate the beliefs of all my friends, and create a religion that doesn’t care enough about anything to have people blowing themselves
Now, to those blind-faith Christians (idiots who “inherited” religion and never really though about their allegiance) who have posted here with “you’re going to burn in hell” and “this is dumn” comments, have you considered that you are maliciously fucking all religion in the ass by making a post like that? Really, think about it next time.
Maties! Hell is on Grand Cayman! Also a nice place! A little short on pasta, but no shortage of cash.
I was on a plane to Cayman once, when the pilots carried black plastic sacks stuffed with booty, filthy lucre, cold green cash, collected at a religious revival in Miami that very day!
Makes an old pirate pine for his hornpipe, although the Spanish main was amatuer stuff compared to these hornswaggling rapscallions called X-ians!
Deryk, I am a devout agnostic and never believe anything without it being proven, though I, of course, have my ideas of what I would like there to be in the end (though they aren’t very developed, as I waste little time thinking of hypotheticals that are neither here or there and will never be proven one way or the other) they weren’t built upon any major world religion.
That said, I think that originally the hell that Christians believe in was intended only for those whose “finite” wrong doings created a legacy or some sort of social stigma, or set into action a chain of events that lead to a more lasting and enduring suffering for others. I’ve not sudied this particular notion and it is just a thought.
With this in mind, how long the legacy endures is really up to us. Aside from forgetting about it, we can ultimately either die with this planet when the sun engulfs it or colonize space/other planets…But we have plenty of time to decided that.
How can anyone believe in the Christian god if you can’t see/touch/smell, etc… his being?
Christians and Muslims are the same damned thing. Fools. Petty little spoiled rotten children that stamp their feet and wail if anyone dare show how ridiculous they truly are.
I’ve seen spaghetti with mine own eyes and have found it to my liking.
I have been graciously touched by His Noodly Appendage.
Get over it guys. Open your hearts and allow His Noodly Goodness in.
I can’t wait untill the hym book comes out then we can sing them on our missionary adventures (dressed in full pirate attire of course)
Just showing my support for the mocking of Steve who has so sadly been brainwashed by an evil religion.Thats fact.More people have been killed, tortured, persecuted ECT over religion than for profit.
Religion is very dangerous…JUST SAY NO to religion
RAmen
All religions except the one TRUE one Tomatoe. Which is, of course, PAstafarianism!
oh yes…and how can you have a lake of fire??? That makes no sense…do you mean a lake of lava?
TO: ElmotheStoner
Its the message thats important.You can say lake or lava either way the meaning is the same.
The meaning of that post is:My God(FSM) is just as real as any other, therefore his wrath should be feared even if hes made of noodles because it can not be proven that he does not exist.All thats required is faith.
RAmen brother elmo
When will you people learn? Everyone else has it the right way, your just wrong.
So you believe in a God who is so enlightened he damns people in the depths of hell forever. get a sense of humour!
If going to heaven means I have to spend eternity with a bunch of Christians, then I’m happy I’m not going….
The first Midget created was also the first human to die, ever. As he lay down, fatally stabbed by a saber-and-pasta-fork-toothed-tiger (as creatures were closer in His design to All Pasta in the old days,) he was afraid. The FSM was aware of these abrupt changes in the world, and asked what he was afraid of. “My Lord, I have no idea what is happening to me. I am aware of your Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory, but yet, I still feel as if I may never see these Great Creations.” The FSM sighed, and said, “You’re just making all that up. Stop it. Someone might overhear you, and start to believe that some of you will go to some place that’s the exact opposite of what I have in store for everyone.” The FSM was correct, and the dying midget was indeed overheard by a Manic Idiot. It was here that mankind first developed the idea of Hell, and it was here that all humans developed fear-based ideologies.
yeah you go on beleving on an internal image that has been forced upon you, look back , then you will be able to see forward. educate yourself, use wikpedia, and relise that the FSM is the true god
hehehehI’m quaking in my pegleg i thought Christians were supposed to be accepting… its funny how many aren’t
and I believe you are phsyco hypocrite “Don’t bash my religion! Your religion sucks! Don’t make fun of Jesus! The FSM is a doo dooo head!” [that was you by the way incase you thought i was talking to myself (i only do that on sundays)]
Huzzah for the days of worship!
T F S M I F
h l p o t r
a y a n ‘ i
n i g s s d
k n h t a
g e e y
t r
t
i
Dear Steve,
First, let me state for the record that you have a wonderful name. Many great people have been named Steve. You share a name with Steve Irwin the Crocodile Hunter, Steve the security guy from Jerry Springer, Steve from Blue’s Clues, and many other great Steves, including my late Sheltie, may he rest in peace with his Noodlieness. Unfortunately, Steve, “If I believe you are going to burn in hell for eternity if you fail to do something and I know what it is your supposed to do but don’t tell you what it is you need to do then I am a monster of the worst kind,” and I believe, Steve, that you have VERY bad grammar. I know what you are supposed to do, and, according to you, I would be a monster of the worst kind if I were not to inform you. Your sentences are awkward and do not contain any of the necessary punctuation. There is something to be said for stream of consciousness in writing, but you obviously do not posess the skills of, dare I say it, James Joyce or Toni Morrison. The following words are spelled incorrectly: “belive” (beliEve) twice, and “Almighy” (AlmighTy). Also, when speaking from a Christian perspective, the words “Christian” and “Hell” need to be capitalized, as they are proper nouns. You have no grasp of pronoun reference, which makes many of your sentences incomprehensible. You will not be able to successfully argue your point if we, the readers, are not able to distinguish about whom you are speaking. Also, your first sentence lacks parallelism and needs semi-colons. I would make the corrections for you, but you’ve completely lost me, and I am unable to make sense of any of it. I just feel sorry for you. It must suck to be illiterate. Please revise and resubmit if you would like to be taken seriously.
Um, by that I mean…. ARRRR!
Think about this: Given that there is really a place like the christian heaven which of course isn’t) and those christs go there after their death, this place must really be crowded with people like Steve and all the other hate-mailers, so this place sucks so bad it cannot be heaven anymore. RAmen!
best religion EVER.
I have been reading these hate-mail posts and comments for a couple of weeks now, and I’ve been having a great deal of fun. I usually try to communicate using the best grammar I can, but I’m not infallible. I sometimes also misspell things. I think that some of the commenters are using internet chat lingo that, thus far, I have neglected to learn. In the spirit of trying to figure out just what these people are saying, I looked up “pwnd” at www.urbandictionary.com. 1. pwnd - tense of pwn.
An internet chat language variety/version of the word “owned”, used in the sence of beating/defeating/outclas sing someone. Usually used in games such as Counter-strike or on messageboards when a user posts arguments or insults that can’t possibly be counter-argued.
Steve, you have been pwnd, like a pony, I might add.
Ooh! I have learned something new! I appreciate “chat lingo” as well and I can be quite lazy while typing, however, while trying to achieve a smug sense of superiority, it is best to use good grammar. Steve sucks at life. Now, on to this new word I have learned. Why “p” I wonder? It’s right next to the “o” on the keyboard, and it doesn’t make the word any shorter. Ah, the mysteries of language. Does www.urbandictionary.com also have a thesaurus? So that I may look up new and interesting words with which to describe people like Steve? I must investigate.
I sing good love songs too and the killing four was not the only one who could belt one out.
Oh and you’re making us cry our eyes out…
animals kill their babies
people kill people
barbarians….
some just like doing it in style and getting medals for it.
LOST WORLD
Can’t make you take a drink
Can’t make you slow down
Can’t make you listen
Can’t take a joke clown?
There has to be a sign
The kind to make you think
And now I can slow down
and take a drink
cause the love this world offered me
made a bloody MARY
AndI believe you have the Iq of a dandylion. But you don’t hear me pointing it out.
Don’t talk about dandelions like that! Dandelions don’t rhyme when they write poetry!
I’m almost speechless about Bobby’s Last Reply’s entries. That’s saying quite a bit. Ok, Bobby’s last reply, you win. I’m not sure what you have won, but it’s yours. Please go celebrate somewhere where you don’t have access to a computer…or anyone to reproduce with.
I’m with you djjack (obviously from Iceland,) I can’t take it anymore.
FYI, Bobby’s Last Reply… I don’t think I can read any more of your comments. I’m taking my toys and going home since you’re not playing nicely. I don’t even know what game you’re playing. (Maybe if we come back tomorrow we’ll have the sandbox to ourselves again. Shhhhhhh! Don’t anybody tell her!)
Yes, I am also going home. I am going to read Revelations and pray and never come to this site again. So, your work here is done. Please go away. You’re scary.
Would someone explain to me this whole FSM thing because i would rather not have to jump on you like steve, and i would really like to understand where you guys are coming from.
thanks geo
“And then we’ll rent a nice french bomb to prove them out of existence”
The more I visit this site and read the hatemails and replies here the more I am convinced that all religious freaks need treatment. Lithium would do fine I guess..
Go get a life and let your self get touched by his noodly appendage. for me: I WANT to believe!
I posted this in the wrong place it must be his Noodlness mis-directing me.
Geo,
The board is self explanatory really. Most of the people on this board are of a sceptical opinion. While no one puts down the right to faith, we do not feel that any person of a religious bent has the right to grievously inflict it on anyone. Enter the Kansas City school board, who wish to teach intelligent design as a science in direct opposition to the THEORY of evolution. As there is no basis in fact for ID to be taught as a science and is entirely based on faith, blind faith at that, Bobby Henderson told the Kansas school board about the FSM again an entity based entirely on faith and he also proved using faith based articles that as global warming increased that Pirates decreased, however I digress, Bobby stated quite rightly that as the FSM was based on “facts†in line with ID that it should be taught in school also. This has made Christians the world over in turn angry and perplexed.
They have shown all the facets of Christianity, with a few exceptions, by damming everyone and promising all sorts of dire punishments from their kind and loving god, thereby showing a basic lack of understanding of their own religion and lining themselves up roughly to the right of Muslim fundamentalists.
Ummm,
I’ve got a question for any poor unenlightened christian out there:
If the devil rebelled against God, and is his immortal enemy, then why does he
a) still exist? Surely any self-respecting omnipotent (from a breakdown of its components, all powerful) being could vaporise any opposition, otherwise how can he be omnipotent?
b) torture those who have displeased god? surely he’d give them a big pat on the back, a nice cool drink, and direct them to all the strippers, sacriligeous comedians and party animals (oh, and the beer volcanoes, cant forget those). Why the hell (:P) would he boil, pitchfork, and generally brutalize his apparent allies?
c)like the smell of sulfur? I mean, that stuff really smells, and i cannot see any intelligent lucifer-esque being really wanting his fancy silk cloak to stink of the stuff. I mean, come on…
Oh, and just out of curiosity, is it really true that there are states in America that only teach creationism? Cause if there is, you poor buggers.
Sorry for the rant…
RAmen
I love the old ‘burn in hell’ threat. What are souls made of? Paper? Wood? If they’re our consciousness how does it actually burn? Does The Christian God turn our immortal souls into charcoal on the way down?
Whats with the “bobbys last reply” freak? Reminds me of really bad poetry. I have a problem and Im hoping somebody can help. One of my operators failed to pitch for overtime on saturday. He is one of the particularly lazy ones. I would love to take him to task but he phoned me on saturday morning and told me the FSM reached out his noodly appendage and stopped his car. Since I am a devout pastafarian I am now left with a moral dillema. I feel my loyalties lie with the FSM but this particular person has never shown any noodly qualities before and he might just be taking the mickey. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt.
Is it safe yet?
I’m not sure, but if anyone asks, I’m not really here. I’m at home reading the bible.
hell is where the heart is.
I do not need you to worry about what might happen to me after life, because my Dumpling God will take very good care of it, for sure. But you may need to worry about yours because,from what you stated, YOUR GOD appears a bigot.
OK. Steve… Stop bothering us. We pastafarians are peaceful. You have tried repeatedly and failed to change us. If you don’t like this site and think that it is disgusting, then why do you spend so much of your time on it? We pose no threat to you. Please find it in your heart to accept those with different beliefs. May you find the love of His Noodly Appendage. Ramen.
I wonder if this guy Has actualyl returned to view his comments, pity if he hasnt.
And as mentioned in an earlier post, If your god is so vain and petty to send people to roast in hell over such minor things as not throwing away all rational thought in favour of blind obedience to him, Then he doesnt deserve to be worshipped.
What makes god so right anyway, if he was an all powefull being, howcome his beliefs are “right?” They are just arbitrarty rules, much as the sort of rules those in power impose upon the peasents working to support them. Not neccesarily right, but hey, theres nothing anybody can do about it, .
If god exists, i would not imagine him in this way at all, but If This is indeed your god, he is nothing more then a Psychotic Tyrant.
isnt it funny, that systems of belief, ostensibly created to sooth, unify and uplift humanity seem only to irritate and polarise people in an argument.
.
surely any sensible, sane, REASONABLE person could discuss this topic with no difficulty.
.
instead, we have mass violence around the world, between many of these belief systems. in rarer cases, we have violence beween these believers, and those that subscribe to an entirely different belief system (atheist). At the very least, in all cases, the dialogue degenerates into mindless insulting.
.
most of those rare few, on either side, who can manage a coherent argument get bogged down in massive rambling discussions that have little to nought meaning to the other participants of the ‘discussion’.
.
those few who try a more lighthearted analysis of the situation just raise the ire of their more extreme opponents, who react to the fact that they dare oppose, not what they oppose with.
.
now, i share one of the more populist views expressed on this website. namely, i believe that faith has no place in science.
.
by its very definition, faith requires the belief in a non-verifiable idea, something that should transcend the need for tangible proof, and touch a person to the deepest levels of their psyche/soul/meatballs.
.
science, by contrast, centres on the idea of any result, any theory, being able to be proven, and reproduced, to the satisfaction of all observing.
.
evolution is strongly suggested by the observable nature of selective breeding (incidentally a technique practiced by many good christians, muslims, jews, buddhists, hindus, and almost any other religious devotees you care to name) around the world.
.
faith by contrast varies across the world. it cannot even settle on the number of divine beings.
.
the simple answer is religion is not reproducible. miracles are by their nature deeply personal, individual experences.
to claim that religion, any religion, has a place in science destroys the very meaning of the word science.
I believe in a God that will only let people into Heaven that have a strong abiding DISBELIEF in any type of god.
God in any text means one that over rides in the end.
To prevail in the end.
Crucifixtion only indicated he was right about us.
That we had forgotten how to be good and kind
and serve our Lord.
Oh, for His Noodly sake! Bobby’s last reply, I can’t make sense of what you’re saying. And believe me, I can make sense of almost anything. Either you’re some nutcase who really believes whatever nonsense you’re trying to spew, or you’re a nutcase who is just producing incomprehensible, seemingly fundamentalist Christian jibberish to see what we’ll do. Either way, you’re not reaching whatever audience you’re trying to reach. You may have to really consider the prospect that you need psychiatric intervention. Best of luck to you.
Will the FSM smite me and banish me to an eternity in a steaming vat of carbonara if I make manicotti tonight?
Thank god he didnt make us all creationist freaks.
“Could it really be a lake, anyways? I mean, how big does a lake get before it becomes a sea or an ocean or whatever? Wouldn’t it be crowded? There aren’t that many Jews in the world, so there’d be a lot of people in this supposed “lake.—
/
“Hell is other people”
I am going home now its 6:50pm London time.
But I leave all you Christian’s with a question, where in any published work attributed to God, his son, his followers, uncle tom cobbly n’ all does it state that we “sinners” will burn in hell, where does it state that the devil even has a fireplace. Come back and tell me.
Clue start looking in the 14th century cos it aint in your book.
Please mock us all you want. One day you will see the answer in front of you, in the shape of the FSM.
I always found the Wood of Suicides part of Hell particularly interesting… and the part where the Hoarders and the Wasters are fighting with eachother and stealing eachother’s stuff for eternity. That Dante, he went there for the tour, you know. There was no fireplace, you’re right. There was, however, an ice skating rink.
No fireplace. There WAS an ice skating rink, though. Right in the middle.
Holy crap my computer sucks. I’m being punished. God is smiting my computer for blaspheming. Whoops.
No evidence for a soul.
Christians don’t understand modern jews, modern jews don’t understand ancient jews, and ancient jews didn’t understand anything.
Just read the Torah. It’s easy to discern that fools wrote it. Christianity will truly shrink and vanish some day; it can’t compare with the intelligence of science. Jews don’t even believe in hell, it’s a christian fantasy. Jews called the afterlife “Sheol”.
WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY A SOUL FEELS PLEASURE OR PAIN ANYWAY? How many christians over the centuries have been gullible enough to swallow what they were force-fed? How many erroneous presumptions have too many sub-literate fools inundated the world with?
I was raised as a christian, but could never believe since I was ten that whole weak fantasy.
Ready Steve, ready Andy?
Ballroom blitz….it’s a ballroom blitz.
Why don’t we just find a common ground
and realize the rainbow chasing is something
you cannot attain killing four.
The closer you get to one, the further it goes away.
Because why?
You threatened my life.
Aggression is not a good trait.
So witches out there, Mary has been reborn.
You can dance with the devil cause this is not a devil.
The music was pure and so good it was stolen from me.
HA HA
Drew St. Miracle was predicted at four years old.
If the killing four is a devil,
he made himself out to be scary
for his own design and purpose.
Having seeing ability, he likes to play tricks on me
and scares me with delight.
He is probably laughing his balls off right now.
Alas, matey…killing four,
little brown jug song and game on face.
The whole world bows down for a moment…
praying that we don’t kill each other off.
ARGH!!
Be touched and be thankful for the Semolina wheat and water from which we all spring.
We don’t have a (known) ‘Hell’. We can’t burn is something we don’t believe in :D
Steve- let me quote Trent for you “Your god is dead and no one cares if there is a hell I’ll see you there” and Ozzy “If there is a hell we’re all gonna have a f’in good time down there”
Just think about that whist you lay down staring upwards towards our Flying Spag Monster
Wow. what’s spag?
I knew I liked Trent, and Ozzy, well, my parents are still mad at me for hitchhiking to see Ozzy in New Haven in 1980 or so. The sum total of all the experiences of my life have led me here, to this carbo-filled moment. I am reborn.
by the way…. about that part about christians leading people to christ…. maybe he doesnt remember the crusades. big help that was…
Led a lot of to… somewhere.
P.S Ballroom Blitz EXCELLENT CHOICE
Thanks, Stevee, now I have that song stuck in my head.
“Holy wars and intolerance are caused by the lack of communication between sides.” no my friend. Holy wars are caused by need to control resources. Haven’t you ever played Total Annihilation?
Steve! Could you pass that spleef down here? Then we can munch down on some spicy tomato sauce-covered noodles and break garlic bread. We can drink wine and speculate well into the night about whatever the f*@& it is you’re talking about.
ew. cheese.
Aww, well, I think this one is nice. Not threatening or violent, and not as condescending as the usual “I feel sorry for you” and “I’ll pray for you”.
Dear arsehole
Please do me a favour and pull your head out of your arse.
Why would any of us burn in hell? surely its not as much of a sin to follow the FSM as it is to fasion God in your own way?
You religious people, the ones who devote your life to following the word of God etc make your God out to be some what of a hypocrite.
Those who dont believe will go to hell, those who mock will go to hell, those who commit acts of terrorisum will go to hell yada yada yada.
Now i believe in your religion it is that God is all powerful, all seeing, all knowing, all loving and forgiving.
It is also believed that God loves all of his “children”.
If he created man then all human life all people of this world are Gods “children” so is it not so that she loves everyone including citizens of places like Afganistan, Iraqu, Sudan etc?
If he loves all of his children and he is all forgiving etc then is it not true that he must love all murderers, rapists, terrorists and non-believers, including those that worship other Gods of other religions? and if he is all forgiving will he not forgive us if we ask for it if there is a judgement day?
If all of this is so then it is you and your kind that will burn in hell for fasioning a God that is just like you.
You have molded the image of the being you love and worship so much into something of you self-centred wankers who think you and yours are the centre of all existance.
You make it seem as though God could never love anyone of the countries like Afganistan and Iraq but why not? why are you the chosen ones? God is not like that if he is what you say he is, so pull your head out of your ass for a second and think about what your saying before you attack others for what they do.
Perhaps it isnt the devout, loyal servant of God that is accepted through those pearly gates perhaps it is the athiest or the ones who sit on the fence because they dont fasion a higher being into there own selfish, hypocritical, self-consumed ideal “God”.
Or perhaps God is just that, man isnt made in the image and likness of God, perhaps God was invented by man a way of controling the people by fear and the self-consumed, selfish, money hungry big guns of America and there chosen allies took “God” and fasioned him in there image and likness.
Dont wanna think about that though do you, your life would lose meaning and your too narrow minded and afraid to look outside your box.
Dear Steve,
God loves you, everyone else… Well God love you - thats enough isn’t it? Has he actually told you personally?
Go educate yourself with your holy bible (like actually read the fucker) and then reply to whether your God is a sweet loving forgiving dude or a vendictive don’t fuck with me kinda dude. Maybe you will be somewhat confused about it all.
Go forth and readith thy book so thou can become learned!
hokay, i t is not your “job” to lead people to Christ. people must choose to accept him not be forced to (so many have made that mistake before). you cannot lead the unwilling no matter how hard you try. Most Christians (and i use most because i know a few who believe differntly) believe that they must convince everyone that their religion is the one true religion. i believe that we must all become pirates so global warming will stop. can’t you see that this world is goin to hell unless we stop poluting the damn air and destroying the fuckin enviornment. I agree with RAT. read the damn bible (man werent we lazy in naming it?), god isnt so forgiving as most people preach.
Pirates ROCK!!!
Reading through the above posts makes me realize more clearly than ever before that the religious indoctrination of children should be regarded as, and punished as, any other form of child abuse. No wonder so many adults are FUBAR.
God = n00b. Flying Spaghetti Monster could No-scope God before God even knew what was happening.
Yes, this is quite immature than my other posts, but I’m bored and the point has already been proven. I am talking about M.L.B. of course, not Mr. “I have no life, so I am going to right some hate mail against someone else’s religion because I am a prick that thinks my religion is the only one that is correct”.
why dont you just let other people believe in what they want to believe in?
What the hell?
Guess what?
christianity is based on what? Writings! Just a little book and some fabrications
i am not discredting god in any way or form, but you cant critisize someone just for having different beliefs than you.
if i really wanted to , i could totally discredit your beliefs, but i wouldnt do that because i am not an ignorant little child. just let others have teir own theroies and dont discredit them because the pastafarians have about as much backing to their religon as you christians have about your own religion.
Aaaaaarrrrgh!
bible was written by man… man can lie and twist stories what more is there to say. Oh by the way… it’s sooo nice of your god to let us burn in hell just because of an idea or oppinion. Oooooo what a loveing and forgiving god. I think I would prefure the beer volcano. ARRRRGH!
You know, I had the flu and now I have all sorts of catching up to do… I missed you guys. You brighten my days.
Starbuckaneer, I must admit this is rather the highlight of my downtime. By the way, this is djjack reincarnated as SaucyWench. I thought I’d really join the fun.
Well, there is no point in arguing. If you don’t believe in the one true god _you are_ going to burn in hell. God is a fact that can’t be changed or ignored. It is a proven fact that the Invisible Pink Unicorn (pbuh) is the one and only God, unless you find another one. Invisible and Pink, beat that. Although, pasta does have its appeal. Come to think of it I’m hungry. If I switch religions, just for tonight, can I go to the Old Spaghetti Factory and eat and worship at the same time?
Come to think of it, my wife makes Spaghetti with Pink sauce. I guess that is kind of like a Jews for Jesus thing.
I’m sorry you feel that way: sometimes I wish that His Noodly Goodness hadn’t gotten so drunk so that people wouldn’t be such arseholes! But, you know, He must have had a reason *shrugs* who knows?
So, artist formerly known as djjack (from Iceland,) you were that scared that you’ve now assumed a new identity? Wow. She did a good job… you know, I googled this “Killing Four” she keeps talking about… They don’t exist… Hey, Bobby’s Last Reply: please provide me with a website. I’m curious. Now, on another note, as an English major, I HAVE read the Bible (as literature,) and I must say that it was EXTREMELY difficult for me. I have this habit of scribbling over everything as I’m reading it. I point out references and make footnotes; and, if I’m proofing something, I point out grammatical errors, redundancies, and contradictions. It is so contradictory of itself… and it irritates me. There have also been studies about the translation of the Bible into English, and how it has been mistranslated. (Due to, go figure, SPELLING ERRORS!)
I was just introduced to this site this morning and it is like a breath of fresh aire. I live in an area that is imbued with delusional, bible-thumping individuals that continually ask the same question over and over: “Have you found Jesus and accepted Him as your personal savior?” Upon entertaining this thought, I quickly answer, “No, but we have a small house and he probably is used to more spacious accomodations.” Seriously, I am
nauseated by the lack of rational thinking that embraces this self-righteous attitude. I am repelled by the thought of my children being subjected to this ideology though their peers. I am deeply committed to the conviction that everyone is entitled to their personal beliefs. I, on the other side of the coin, abhor the incessant need for others to convince me that there is only one way to be saved. Saved from what?? Eternal damnation? Give me a break. I don’t need a fear factor hanging over my head to establish a moral code for me to follow.
Enough of my ramblings, a point was made earlier in one of the responses to why would God (whoever, whatever, or wherever that concept is) condemn his (her or its) creation that has his (her or its) unconditional love to an eternity of immeasurable torment for not believing something that is, basically, a theory. I have heard the response that God loves the person and despises the sin. If this is an all-powerful, all-loving God, why not just remove the possiblility of sin, remove the game of hide and seek, and allow his (her, its) children to be happy? Do you play games with your children to teach them to be tolerant with others, or leave cryptic messages to watch and see if they play in the middle of a busy street?
I will close with a response a friend used when asked if he has accepted religion as the only way to be “saved.” His reply was, “I don’t have any imaginary friends.”
And armed with the wisdom of fifty-seven years, I say, “Gaaargh!”
I think we shold all listen to M.L.B.’s comment above. As for myself, I do believe in God. Always have, always will. But I also think that statements about God have no place within the “industry of science,” simply because they’re not useful there. Science is not a body of knowledge that tells us how to live. It is a body of knowledge that helps us acheives goals we have set for oursleves. It is practical knowedge. Religion is not practical knowledge. It is knowledge about how to live, what goals to set, what principles to embrace. Religion is the “ought,” science the “is”. So religion and science have different uses. And everything would be fine with each occupying its own sphere, EXCEPT problems arise when the claims of science contradict the claims of religion. In these situations, there is no clear answer. History (which I study FOR A LIVING) has shown instances where both sides have been wrong. And each side has had done its share of bullying. Read Thomas Kuhn. Science is not the innocent bearer of unbiased truth most people think it is. I think the best we can do is try to be compassionate with each other and not let the debates degenerate into useless polemics. Given time, the truth will emerge. It always has. In the mean time, let’s not forget our shareed humanity. As for teaching intelligent design in classrooms, if it is a ridiculous as most evolution supporters think it is, then very few kids are going to buy it anyways. So what’s the big deal? As long as both sides are allowed to present their case, and neither makes false claims about the other, where’s the injustice? Sure, it may seem like a waste of class time, but is this really so great a price to pay for harmony?
What wonderfully inspired words, Not Bob. I must agree with you wholeheartedly! Indeed, all sides should be taught equally, which is why I am confident that you would endorse the teaching of FSM alongside both evolution and ID in the classroom.
/
As you stated, “…if it is a(s) ridiculous as most evolution supporters think it is, then very few kids are going to buy it anyways. So what’s the big deal? As long as both sides are allowed to present their case, and neither makes false claims about the other, where’s the injustice?” Very well put.
/
Classrooms should be bastions of free thinking… a place where all theories, no matter how poorly supported with evidence should be given equal weight. If we continue to let science dictate narrow minded ideals such as “evidence”, “critical thinking”, and “logic”, where will we be in 100 years?
/
I long for the days when we knew that the world was flat, disease was caused by evil spirits, and the sun was pulled across the sky by a chariot. However much the scientific “experts” may claim that these beliefs were false, they can’t truly be disproved. Yet the scientific community has successfully convinced the world that they are not true. How did they do this? By taking these equally valid (based on the inablility to disprove) theories and removing them from classrooms. Entire generations have grown up thinking them to be little more than naive beliefs of our less enlightened past.
/
Oh yes, I can see the danger here. If we don’t teach ID and FSM in the classroom, years from now our descendents may laugh at us for ever holding such ridiculous beliefs. That is not a world I want to live in.
/
RAmen.
Amen (err, RAmen, that is), One Eyed Jack. Whether it’s right or wrong, ID can’t be proven/disproven by the scientific method, so it doesn’t belong in science class. Simple. Teach it somewhere else if you must.
That’s what they have World Relgion/Religious Studies classes for. Science if for rocks and monkeys and dissecting pigs. (What happened to the frog?? No one told me they were going to make me dissect Wilbur?!?!)
steve mate, as someone stated earlier on this site:- if your hell does exist, it will be Earth without freaks like you. i´d rather stay in hell! but our hell is much better than yours anyway.
dear steve,
early this morning, God came to me in the form of a neanderthal (He’s big on irony), and told me that He’s okay with this website, and all the devotees of the FSM. He’s got a pretty good sense of humour, actually. He said that if the people who started the pastafarian cult didn’t have this to occupy them, they’d probably just get themselves into trouble; there’s a certain type of mind that shouldn’t be left at loose ends for too long; look what happened with darwin. (incidentally, he also authorised me to use as many semi-colons as i want anytime, anywhere, for the rest of my life, so i guess i’m sort of like the patron saint of semi-colons now. it’s pretty sweet). He also expressed his suprise that a devoted christian such as yourself would not a)recognize the futility of telling a cult of spagetti-worshipers that they’re going to hell and b)recognize the hypocrisy in calling yourself a devotee of christ while damning people to eternal torment. i pointed out that their seem to be a lot of people like you around, to which he replied “yeah; I’m totally getting way more than my quota of stupid people these days. on the bright side, I did manage to pawn tom cruise off on the scientologist guys.” i also took the opportunity to ask Him an age old question; “hey,God,” i said, “would You know my name, if i saw you in heaven? would it be the same, if i saw you in heaven?” he simply replied that beyond that door, there’s peace i’m sure, and i know there’ll be no more tears in heaven.
love, me
(SURGEON’S GENERAL WARNING: THE ABOVE POST WAS CAREFULLY CALCULATED TO OFFEND AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. IF YOU FEEL ANY SUDDEN ATTACKS OF ANGER, SUPERIORITY, OR OVERWHELMING URGES TO BURN SOMEONE AT THE STAKE, THEN YOU MAY BE SUPRESSING DANGEROUS PSYCHO-FUNDAMENTALIST TENDANCIES AND SHOULD EMIDIATELY TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF RATIONAL THOUGHT, FOLLOWED BY A GENEROUS HELPING OF REALITY.)
I hereby nominate Riisa for beatification. Or is beatification the nomination? Whatever. Patron saint of the Semi-Colon. I hope to soon make a pilgrimage to the site of the Vision of the Neanderthal and perhaps buy one of those cards that flicks from Neanderthal to Cro-Magnon or a glow in the dark caveman.
Rissta that was teh most awsome thing I’ve read yet today, good job
What day is the Patron Saint of Semi-Colon Day? I’m taking off work. That was freakin hysterical.
Infidels!!
All non-believers must be punished severly by boiling in water until al dente!
A jihad on those who mock the sacred flying spegetti monster with dis-belief and slander. We shall enlist young noodles to go forth and spill their sauces on all Infidels in our valiant effort to cover the world with our greatness and convert all to our cause!
thank-you, CMD-Z, for your support. i offer you this wisdom in return; when you make your pilgrimage, pack your long underwear, it’s very cold this time of year. most times of year actually. a single tube of pringles original chips is generally considered an apropriate offering in exchange for the 10 Holy Uses of the semi-colon.
My feast day, Starbuckaneer, since you ask, is the first tuesday in november. devotees of the semi-colon generally spend the day fasting and singing praises in the form of musical numbers from famous Andrew Loyd Webber productions.
go in grammatical correctness.
love,
the patron saint of semi-colons
Okay great. I’ll be Rumpleteaser if anyone wants to be Rum-Tum-Tugger.
(By the way, that’s a CATS reference, fo those of you less theatrically-inclined. Not my favorite musical, but full of funny names.)
What kind of idiot are you, to send hate mail that nobody can understand?
RAmen
-St Rissa-
A single tube of Pringles, got it. A wafer that represents the body of FSM, if s/he was gnocchi, perhaps gnocchi is one of the trinity? Or a Quintupity, just have to come up with the other spirits.
.
Someone tell me if this is already in the Gospel, I wouldnt want to be making a New Testament prematurely.
Hells bells I spelt your name wrong. Many apologies St Riisa.
Despite the fact that I’m really not supposed to be praying to saints, I think I might just have to start worshiping St Riisa.
;;;;;;;;;;
For The Win.
-God
So heaven is singing songs praising God, eh? I’ll take the beer volcanoes.
i´m confused…had to read steve´s mail 3 times and still don´t get what he says…
Steve,
My I start by saying I truely think you are a numpty, with that out of the way.
A lot of of us on this site are atheists and as atheists we really and truely DO NOT BELIEVE that a God exists. Are you still with me Steve? I doubt it but here goes any how, now if God does not exist then hell does not exist (well not the traditional hell that you are thinking of, as I am sure sitting next to you on a long haul flight would count).
Let me recap for you Steve, No God, No hell! here comes the difficult part mate, so if we don’t believe there is such a place as hell then your threats of us spending a little time there are totally useless!
How can you say such a thing! you have really hurt my feelings. However I will forgive you if you do your best to kick evil’s ass
-God
P.S. There is no hell. I made it up to scare the little shits like steve.
There is a hell. I’ve been there. It’s in Arkansas with my Church of Christ in-laws. And there are no liquor stores.
It’s going to save on heating bills.
Ahahah I love this talking about how we will all go to hail and such, and this is being said by those hardcore christians and what not, but if you were really christian you would actually no more about your background. Such as the fact that the Old Testament didnt describe a hell it described *shogul* or *shogoth* Which is just a shadowy place where you die, and that the New Testament with all those stories, is just a collection of stories, much less reliable to believe then the Old Testament.
Sry for the typos i was in a hurry, but felt a huge need to comment Latz
Good thing we don’t burn in hell for poor punctuation use (or lack thereof)!
I think it’s absolutely hilarious when people can’t take a joke. If your religion is so uptight it can’t stand some good-humoured heckling, then the stick up your ass has gone too far and is getting in the way of coherent thought.
Well said Tabby
RAmen