If I believe you are going to burn in hell for eternity if you fail to do something and I know what it is your supposed to do but don’t tell you what it is you need to do then I am a monster of the worst kind. Your problem is that you do not want to belive that you might go to hell because you know what the remedy is but you’re not prepared to take it. You’ve got it backwards. It is the Christians that know how to help you but don’t bother to because they just want to get along with everybody that you should be sickened by not those who are prepared to be mocked by you as long as they can help you make sure you get to heaven. It’s my job as a christian to lead people to Christ and I count it a blessing to be mocked in His name. Mock me all you want. I hope we can have a good laugh about it between singing songs of praise to the Lord God Almighy in heaven.
Peace.
Peace.
Steve
I am going home now its 6:50pm London time.
But I leave all you Christian’s with a question, where in any published work attributed to God, his son, his followers, uncle tom cobbly n’ all does it state that we “sinners” will burn in hell, where does it state that the devil even has a fireplace. Come back and tell me.
Clue start looking in the 14th century cos it aint in your book.
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Please mock us all you want. One day you will see the answer in front of you, in the shape of the FSM.
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I always found the Wood of Suicides part of Hell particularly interesting… and the part where the Hoarders and the Wasters are fighting with eachother and stealing eachother’s stuff for eternity. That Dante, he went there for the tour, you know. There was no fireplace, you’re right. There was, however, an ice skating rink.
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No fireplace. There WAS an ice skating rink, though. Right in the middle.
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Holy crap my computer sucks. I’m being punished. God is smiting my computer for blaspheming. Whoops.
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No evidence for a soul.
Christians don’t understand modern jews, modern jews don’t understand ancient jews, and ancient jews didn’t understand anything.
Just read the Torah. It’s easy to discern that fools wrote it. Christianity will truly shrink and vanish some day; it can’t compare with the intelligence of science. Jews don’t even believe in hell, it’s a christian fantasy. Jews called the afterlife “Sheol”.
WHERE IN THE BIBLE DOES IT SAY A SOUL FEELS PLEASURE OR PAIN ANYWAY? How many christians over the centuries have been gullible enough to swallow what they were force-fed? How many erroneous presumptions have too many sub-literate fools inundated the world with?
I was raised as a christian, but could never believe since I was ten that whole weak fantasy.
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Ready Steve, ready Andy?
Ballroom blitz….it’s a ballroom blitz.
Why don’t we just find a common ground
and realize the rainbow chasing is something
you cannot attain killing four.
The closer you get to one, the further it goes away.
Because why?
You threatened my life.
Aggression is not a good trait.
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So witches out there, Mary has been reborn.
You can dance with the devil cause this is not a devil.
The music was pure and so good it was stolen from me.
HA HA
Drew St. Miracle was predicted at four years old.
If the killing four is a devil,
he made himself out to be scary
for his own design and purpose.
Having seeing ability, he likes to play tricks on me
and scares me with delight.
He is probably laughing his balls off right now.
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Alas, matey…killing four,
little brown jug song and game on face.
The whole world bows down for a moment…
praying that we don’t kill each other off.
ARGH!!
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Be touched and be thankful for the Semolina wheat and water from which we all spring.
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We don’t have a (known) ‘Hell’. We can’t burn is something we don’t believe in :D
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Steve- let me quote Trent for you “Your god is dead and no one cares if there is a hell I’ll see you there” and Ozzy “If there is a hell we’re all gonna have a f’in good time down there”
Just think about that whist you lay down staring upwards towards our Flying Spag Monster
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Wow. what’s spag?
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I knew I liked Trent, and Ozzy, well, my parents are still mad at me for hitchhiking to see Ozzy in New Haven in 1980 or so. The sum total of all the experiences of my life have led me here, to this carbo-filled moment. I am reborn.
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by the way…. about that part about christians leading people to christ…. maybe he doesnt remember the crusades. big help that was…
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Led a lot of to… somewhere.
P.S Ballroom Blitz EXCELLENT CHOICE
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Thanks, Stevee, now I have that song stuck in my head.
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“Holy wars and intolerance are caused by the lack of communication between sides.” no my friend. Holy wars are caused by need to control resources. Haven’t you ever played Total Annihilation?
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Steve! Could you pass that spleef down here? Then we can munch down on some spicy tomato sauce-covered noodles and break garlic bread. We can drink wine and speculate well into the night about whatever the f*@& it is you’re talking about.
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ew. cheese.
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Aww, well, I think this one is nice. Not threatening or violent, and not as condescending as the usual “I feel sorry for you” and “I’ll pray for you”.
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Dear arsehole
Please do me a favour and pull your head out of your arse.
Why would any of us burn in hell? surely its not as much of a sin to follow the FSM as it is to fasion God in your own way?
You religious people, the ones who devote your life to following the word of God etc make your God out to be some what of a hypocrite.
Those who dont believe will go to hell, those who mock will go to hell, those who commit acts of terrorisum will go to hell yada yada yada.
Now i believe in your religion it is that God is all powerful, all seeing, all knowing, all loving and forgiving.
It is also believed that God loves all of his “children”.
If he created man then all human life all people of this world are Gods “children” so is it not so that she loves everyone including citizens of places like Afganistan, Iraqu, Sudan etc?
If he loves all of his children and he is all forgiving etc then is it not true that he must love all murderers, rapists, terrorists and non-believers, including those that worship other Gods of other religions? and if he is all forgiving will he not forgive us if we ask for it if there is a judgement day?
If all of this is so then it is you and your kind that will burn in hell for fasioning a God that is just like you.
You have molded the image of the being you love and worship so much into something of you self-centred wankers who think you and yours are the centre of all existance.
You make it seem as though God could never love anyone of the countries like Afganistan and Iraq but why not? why are you the chosen ones? God is not like that if he is what you say he is, so pull your head out of your ass for a second and think about what your saying before you attack others for what they do.
Perhaps it isnt the devout, loyal servant of God that is accepted through those pearly gates perhaps it is the athiest or the ones who sit on the fence because they dont fasion a higher being into there own selfish, hypocritical, self-consumed ideal “God”.
Or perhaps God is just that, man isnt made in the image and likness of God, perhaps God was invented by man a way of controling the people by fear and the self-consumed, selfish, money hungry big guns of America and there chosen allies took “God” and fasioned him in there image and likness.
Dont wanna think about that though do you, your life would lose meaning and your too narrow minded and afraid to look outside your box.
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Dear Steve,
God loves you, everyone else… Well God love you – thats enough isn’t it? Has he actually told you personally?
Go educate yourself with your holy bible (like actually read the fucker) and then reply to whether your God is a sweet loving forgiving dude or a vendictive don’t fuck with me kinda dude. Maybe you will be somewhat confused about it all.
Go forth and readith thy book so thou can become learned!
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hokay, i t is not your “job” to lead people to Christ. people must choose to accept him not be forced to (so many have made that mistake before). you cannot lead the unwilling no matter how hard you try. Most Christians (and i use most because i know a few who believe differntly) believe that they must convince everyone that their religion is the one true religion. i believe that we must all become pirates so global warming will stop. can’t you see that this world is goin to hell unless we stop poluting the damn air and destroying the fuckin enviornment. I agree with RAT. read the damn bible (man werent we lazy in naming it?), god isnt so forgiving as most people preach.
Pirates ROCK!!!
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Reading through the above posts makes me realize more clearly than ever before that the religious indoctrination of children should be regarded as, and punished as, any other form of child abuse. No wonder so many adults are FUBAR.
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God = n00b. Flying Spaghetti Monster could No-scope God before God even knew what was happening.
Yes, this is quite immature than my other posts, but I’m bored and the point has already been proven. I am talking about M.L.B. of course, not Mr. “I have no life, so I am going to right some hate mail against someone else’s religion because I am a prick that thinks my religion is the only one that is correct”.
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why dont you just let other people believe in what they want to believe in?
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What the hell?
Guess what?
christianity is based on what? Writings! Just a little book and some fabrications
i am not discredting god in any way or form, but you cant critisize someone just for having different beliefs than you.
if i really wanted to , i could totally discredit your beliefs, but i wouldnt do that because i am not an ignorant little child. just let others have teir own theroies and dont discredit them because the pastafarians have about as much backing to their religon as you christians have about your own religion.
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Aaaaaarrrrgh!
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bible was written by man… man can lie and twist stories what more is there to say. Oh by the way… it’s sooo nice of your god to let us burn in hell just because of an idea or oppinion. Oooooo what a loveing and forgiving god. I think I would prefure the beer volcano. ARRRRGH!
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You know, I had the flu and now I have all sorts of catching up to do… I missed you guys. You brighten my days.
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Starbuckaneer, I must admit this is rather the highlight of my downtime. By the way, this is djjack reincarnated as SaucyWench. I thought I’d really join the fun.
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Well, there is no point in arguing. If you don’t believe in the one true god _you are_ going to burn in hell. God is a fact that can’t be changed or ignored. It is a proven fact that the Invisible Pink Unicorn (pbuh) is the one and only God, unless you find another one. Invisible and Pink, beat that. Although, pasta does have its appeal. Come to think of it I’m hungry. If I switch religions, just for tonight, can I go to the Old Spaghetti Factory and eat and worship at the same time?
Come to think of it, my wife makes Spaghetti with Pink sauce. I guess that is kind of like a Jews for Jesus thing.
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I’m sorry you feel that way: sometimes I wish that His Noodly Goodness hadn’t gotten so drunk so that people wouldn’t be such arseholes! But, you know, He must have had a reason *shrugs* who knows?
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So, artist formerly known as djjack (from Iceland,) you were that scared that you’ve now assumed a new identity? Wow. She did a good job… you know, I googled this “Killing Four” she keeps talking about… They don’t exist… Hey, Bobby’s Last Reply: please provide me with a website. I’m curious. Now, on another note, as an English major, I HAVE read the Bible (as literature,) and I must say that it was EXTREMELY difficult for me. I have this habit of scribbling over everything as I’m reading it. I point out references and make footnotes; and, if I’m proofing something, I point out grammatical errors, redundancies, and contradictions. It is so contradictory of itself… and it irritates me. There have also been studies about the translation of the Bible into English, and how it has been mistranslated. (Due to, go figure, SPELLING ERRORS!)
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I was just introduced to this site this morning and it is like a breath of fresh aire. I live in an area that is imbued with delusional, bible-thumping individuals that continually ask the same question over and over: “Have you found Jesus and accepted Him as your personal savior?” Upon entertaining this thought, I quickly answer, “No, but we have a small house and he probably is used to more spacious accomodations.” Seriously, I am
nauseated by the lack of rational thinking that embraces this self-righteous attitude. I am repelled by the thought of my children being subjected to this ideology though their peers. I am deeply committed to the conviction that everyone is entitled to their personal beliefs. I, on the other side of the coin, abhor the incessant need for others to convince me that there is only one way to be saved. Saved from what?? Eternal damnation? Give me a break. I don’t need a fear factor hanging over my head to establish a moral code for me to follow.
Enough of my ramblings, a point was made earlier in one of the responses to why would God (whoever, whatever, or wherever that concept is) condemn his (her or its) creation that has his (her or its) unconditional love to an eternity of immeasurable torment for not believing something that is, basically, a theory. I have heard the response that God loves the person and despises the sin. If this is an all-powerful, all-loving God, why not just remove the possiblility of sin, remove the game of hide and seek, and allow his (her, its) children to be happy? Do you play games with your children to teach them to be tolerant with others, or leave cryptic messages to watch and see if they play in the middle of a busy street?
I will close with a response a friend used when asked if he has accepted religion as the only way to be “saved.” His reply was, “I don’t have any imaginary friends.”
And armed with the wisdom of fifty-seven years, I say, “Gaaargh!”
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I think we shold all listen to M.L.B.’s comment above. As for myself, I do believe in God. Always have, always will. But I also think that statements about God have no place within the “industry of science,” simply because they’re not useful there. Science is not a body of knowledge that tells us how to live. It is a body of knowledge that helps us acheives goals we have set for oursleves. It is practical knowedge. Religion is not practical knowledge. It is knowledge about how to live, what goals to set, what principles to embrace. Religion is the “ought,” science the “is”. So religion and science have different uses. And everything would be fine with each occupying its own sphere, EXCEPT problems arise when the claims of science contradict the claims of religion. In these situations, there is no clear answer. History (which I study FOR A LIVING) has shown instances where both sides have been wrong. And each side has had done its share of bullying. Read Thomas Kuhn. Science is not the innocent bearer of unbiased truth most people think it is. I think the best we can do is try to be compassionate with each other and not let the debates degenerate into useless polemics. Given time, the truth will emerge. It always has. In the mean time, let’s not forget our shareed humanity. As for teaching intelligent design in classrooms, if it is a ridiculous as most evolution supporters think it is, then very few kids are going to buy it anyways. So what’s the big deal? As long as both sides are allowed to present their case, and neither makes false claims about the other, where’s the injustice? Sure, it may seem like a waste of class time, but is this really so great a price to pay for harmony?
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What wonderfully inspired words, Not Bob. I must agree with you wholeheartedly! Indeed, all sides should be taught equally, which is why I am confident that you would endorse the teaching of FSM alongside both evolution and ID in the classroom.
/
As you stated, “…if it is a(s) ridiculous as most evolution supporters think it is, then very few kids are going to buy it anyways. So what’s the big deal? As long as both sides are allowed to present their case, and neither makes false claims about the other, where’s the injustice?” Very well put.
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Classrooms should be bastions of free thinking… a place where all theories, no matter how poorly supported with evidence should be given equal weight. If we continue to let science dictate narrow minded ideals such as “evidence”, “critical thinking”, and “logic”, where will we be in 100 years?
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I long for the days when we knew that the world was flat, disease was caused by evil spirits, and the sun was pulled across the sky by a chariot. However much the scientific “experts” may claim that these beliefs were false, they can’t truly be disproved. Yet the scientific community has successfully convinced the world that they are not true. How did they do this? By taking these equally valid (based on the inablility to disprove) theories and removing them from classrooms. Entire generations have grown up thinking them to be little more than naive beliefs of our less enlightened past.
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Oh yes, I can see the danger here. If we don’t teach ID and FSM in the classroom, years from now our descendents may laugh at us for ever holding such ridiculous beliefs. That is not a world I want to live in.
/
RAmen.
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Amen (err, RAmen, that is), One Eyed Jack. Whether it’s right or wrong, ID can’t be proven/disproven by the scientific method, so it doesn’t belong in science class. Simple. Teach it somewhere else if you must.
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That’s what they have World Relgion/Religious Studies classes for. Science if for rocks and monkeys and dissecting pigs. (What happened to the frog?? No one told me they were going to make me dissect Wilbur?!?!)
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steve mate, as someone stated earlier on this site:- if your hell does exist, it will be Earth without freaks like you. i´d rather stay in hell! but our hell is much better than yours anyway.
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dear steve,
early this morning, God came to me in the form of a neanderthal (He’s big on irony), and told me that He’s okay with this website, and all the devotees of the FSM. He’s got a pretty good sense of humour, actually. He said that if the people who started the pastafarian cult didn’t have this to occupy them, they’d probably just get themselves into trouble; there’s a certain type of mind that shouldn’t be left at loose ends for too long; look what happened with darwin. (incidentally, he also authorised me to use as many semi-colons as i want anytime, anywhere, for the rest of my life, so i guess i’m sort of like the patron saint of semi-colons now. it’s pretty sweet). He also expressed his suprise that a devoted christian such as yourself would not a)recognize the futility of telling a cult of spagetti-worshipers that they’re going to hell and b)recognize the hypocrisy in calling yourself a devotee of christ while damning people to eternal torment. i pointed out that their seem to be a lot of people like you around, to which he replied “yeah; I’m totally getting way more than my quota of stupid people these days. on the bright side, I did manage to pawn tom cruise off on the scientologist guys.” i also took the opportunity to ask Him an age old question; “hey,God,” i said, “would You know my name, if i saw you in heaven? would it be the same, if i saw you in heaven?” he simply replied that beyond that door, there’s peace i’m sure, and i know there’ll be no more tears in heaven.
love, me
(SURGEON’S GENERAL WARNING: THE ABOVE POST WAS CAREFULLY CALCULATED TO OFFEND AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. IF YOU FEEL ANY SUDDEN ATTACKS OF ANGER, SUPERIORITY, OR OVERWHELMING URGES TO BURN SOMEONE AT THE STAKE, THEN YOU MAY BE SUPRESSING DANGEROUS PSYCHO-FUNDAMENTALIST TENDANCIES AND SHOULD EMIDIATELY TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF RATIONAL THOUGHT, FOLLOWED BY A GENEROUS HELPING OF REALITY.)
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I hereby nominate Riisa for beatification. Or is beatification the nomination? Whatever. Patron saint of the Semi-Colon. I hope to soon make a pilgrimage to the site of the Vision of the Neanderthal and perhaps buy one of those cards that flicks from Neanderthal to Cro-Magnon or a glow in the dark caveman.
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Rissta that was teh most awsome thing I’ve read yet today, good job
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What day is the Patron Saint of Semi-Colon Day? I’m taking off work. That was freakin hysterical.
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Infidels!!
All non-believers must be punished severly by boiling in water until al dente!
A jihad on those who mock the sacred flying spegetti monster with dis-belief and slander. We shall enlist young noodles to go forth and spill their sauces on all Infidels in our valiant effort to cover the world with our greatness and convert all to our cause!
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thank-you, CMD-Z, for your support. i offer you this wisdom in return; when you make your pilgrimage, pack your long underwear, it’s very cold this time of year. most times of year actually. a single tube of pringles original chips is generally considered an apropriate offering in exchange for the 10 Holy Uses of the semi-colon.
My feast day, Starbuckaneer, since you ask, is the first tuesday in november. devotees of the semi-colon generally spend the day fasting and singing praises in the form of musical numbers from famous Andrew Loyd Webber productions.
go in grammatical correctness.
love,
the patron saint of semi-colons
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Okay great. I’ll be Rumpleteaser if anyone wants to be Rum-Tum-Tugger.
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(By the way, that’s a CATS reference, fo those of you less theatrically-inclined. Not my favorite musical, but full of funny names.)
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What kind of idiot are you, to send hate mail that nobody can understand?
RAmen
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