If I believe you are going to burn in hell for eternity if you fail to do something and I know what it is your supposed to do but don’t tell you what it is you need to do then I am a monster of the worst kind. Your problem is that you do not want to belive that you might go to hell because you know what the remedy is but you’re not prepared to take it. You’ve got it backwards. It is the Christians that know how to help you but don’t bother to because they just want to get along with everybody that you should be sickened by not those who are prepared to be mocked by you as long as they can help you make sure you get to heaven. It’s my job as a christian to lead people to Christ and I count it a blessing to be mocked in His name. Mock me all you want. I hope we can have a good laugh about it between singing songs of praise to the Lord God Almighy in heaven.
Peace.
Peace.
Steve
-St Rissa-
A single tube of Pringles, got it. A wafer that represents the body of FSM, if s/he was gnocchi, perhaps gnocchi is one of the trinity? Or a Quintupity, just have to come up with the other spirits.
.
Someone tell me if this is already in the Gospel, I wouldnt want to be making a New Testament prematurely.
Hells bells I spelt your name wrong. Many apologies St Riisa.
Despite the fact that I’m really not supposed to be praying to saints, I think I might just have to start worshiping St Riisa.
;;;;;;;;;;
For The Win.
-God
So heaven is singing songs praising God, eh? I’ll take the beer volcanoes.
i´m confused…had to read steve´s mail 3 times and still don´t get what he says…
Steve,
My I start by saying I truely think you are a numpty, with that out of the way.
A lot of of us on this site are atheists and as atheists we really and truely DO NOT BELIEVE that a God exists. Are you still with me Steve? I doubt it but here goes any how, now if God does not exist then hell does not exist (well not the traditional hell that you are thinking of, as I am sure sitting next to you on a long haul flight would count).
Let me recap for you Steve, No God, No hell! here comes the difficult part mate, so if we don’t believe there is such a place as hell then your threats of us spending a little time there are totally useless!
How can you say such a thing! you have really hurt my feelings. However I will forgive you if you do your best to kick evil’s ass
-God
P.S. There is no hell. I made it up to scare the little shits like steve.
There is a hell. I’ve been there. It’s in Arkansas with my Church of Christ in-laws. And there are no liquor stores.
It’s going to save on heating bills.
Ahahah I love this talking about how we will all go to hail and such, and this is being said by those hardcore christians and what not, but if you were really christian you would actually no more about your background. Such as the fact that the Old Testament didnt describe a hell it described *shogul* or *shogoth* Which is just a shadowy place where you die, and that the New Testament with all those stories, is just a collection of stories, much less reliable to believe then the Old Testament.
Sry for the typos i was in a hurry, but felt a huge need to comment Latz
Good thing we don’t burn in hell for poor punctuation use (or lack thereof)!
I think it’s absolutely hilarious when people can’t take a joke. If your religion is so uptight it can’t stand some good-humoured heckling, then the stick up your ass has gone too far and is getting in the way of coherent thought.
Well said Tabby
RAmen
Tabby - coherent thought and religion? surely they get in each others way by default? the god botherers are never going to get it (or the joke). there’s a whole in their mind that they need to fill with superstition.
.
still, they’re fun to play with….
I thought of an analogy that may help some pushy Christians understand what it is like to coexist with them. Pushy Christians, imagine you are driving across a country. You may have a specific destination, or you may be just wandering. You are driving along, and there are fellow travelers on the road. Some are broken down, some have fancy sportscars, and some have ecologically-correct hybrids. You stop for food or gas, or ethanol, or whatever, and the attendant or a fellow customer, who doesn’t even ask you where you are going, says, “I’m so glad you’re going to Town X. It’s beautiful there.” You politely inform him or her that you are not planning on going there, or that you might pass through there and check it out in your travels. Then he or she says, “You must go there, and you must drive a Reliant K car with a broken stereo. If you don’t go there, you will end up in Town Y, which is most unpleasant.” In you mind, you think, “What a freakin whack job!” You somehow extricate yourself from the conversation and continue your travels.
The analogy isn’t complete yet, but I must get in my non-Reliant K car and go to work. * I’m sorry if I have offended any Reliant K car drivers. I’ve never even driven one. It’s just that I prefer a different kind of car
I may just, technically, be an irish kid of the age of 15, but if god is perfect,, why would he feel the need to create anything, much less an imperfect world? If to be perfect is to be complete in every sense, then why would he feel the desire to create, and why would he feel the need to tempt his people. To me this suggests either sadism , or really having nothing better to fdo with his time. If anyone wants to hear of anymore arguments against God(s) i’ve got a few more cooking here. And by the way, in case you haven’t noticed,im not tryinfg to offend your beliefs, these are merely my own. I do not wish to force my beliefs on anyone, I merely seek an answer to my questions. thank you so very much. Cead Mile Failte and May the wind be ever at your back. There is no more proof of the existence of the deities of islam, christianity, Buddhism, etc. than there is of his noodlyness, therefore it is an equally valid theory,and therefore must be disproved before you can denounce it in this manner. Thank you. And by the Way, the orignator of this article sounds like IanPaisley. If you don’t know who hre is he’s a politican in Northern Ireland, Look him up, have a laugh and then remember that all Northern Irish politics are ineffective and useless because of tprejudice. Do not let this happen to your governments! (USA, Nudge, Nudge) Sorry american people I have no knowledge of the workings of your government but i doubt it could be as laughably complex as the Northern Irish situation. Thank you.
Hello. I may just, technically, be an irish kid of the age of 15, but if god is perfect,, why would he feel the need to create anything, much less an imperfect world? If to be perfect is to be complete in every sense, then why would he feel the desire to create, and why would he feel the need to tempt his people. To me this suggests either sadism , or really having nothing better to fdo with his time. If anyone wants to hear of anymore arguments against God(s) i’ve got a few more cooking here. And by the way, in case you haven’t noticed,im not tryinfg to offend your beliefs, these are merely my own. I do not wish to force my beliefs on anyone, I merely seek an answer to my questions. thank you so very much. Cead Mile Failte and May the wind be ever at your back. There is no more proof of the existence of the deities of islam, christianity, Buddhism, etc. than there is of his noodlyness, therefore it is an equally valid theory,and therefore must be disproved before you can denounce it in this manner. Thank you. And by the Way, the orignator of this article sounds like IanPaisley. If you don’t know who hre is he’s a politican in Northern Ireland, Look him up, have a laugh and then remember that all Northern Irish politics are ineffective and useless because of tprejudice. Do not let this happen to your governments! (USA, Nudge, Nudge) Sorry american people I have no knowledge of the workings of your government but i doubt it could be as laughably complex as the Northern Irish situation. Thank you.
“Hello. I may just, technically, be an irish kid of the age of 15,”
.
I feel I have read this somewhere else?
NTWHM: Possibly, *everywhere* else. Mind, we do thread-flit a lot, we pirates. It’s one way of getting our attention.
.
Nice to meet you, Eye Gougin’ Barney Dawkins. Good surname.
.
On a note of caution, please take care around One Eyed Jack. I have a bad feeling about the two of you coming together. You know what they say: it’s all fun and games until…
If you think the Catholics are saints then you should read a bit about history.
It’s only been used in the past to get more money, more power, more land and slaves from other religions or murder entire civilizations.
And you believe you’ll end up in heaven by supporting them?
Looks like you don’t have much of common sense if you just accept everything what they say in church and the bible.
666
hehe, al of this makes me so…
so…
noodly.
steve
as a christian, you tell people what to do because you probably don’t have any friends. stop worying about hell and get on with your life. fuck jesus (oh wait, i;m jesus)
Come here Tom Crazy
I think steve is right. If he really belives that there is a big invisible man in the sky who watches me have sex and will cast me into a pit of fire for all eternity, then he would be a monster to not do anything and everything in his power to convince me its true.
Of course this god guy could convince me quite easly of his existence. Does that make this god guy a monster?
I would rather be struck dead by a god who revealed himself than have blind faith in one who dosn’t.
Catholic preists are asked to go their whole lives without sex.
Their job is to tell little boys about a big man in the sky. A man who watches their every move and is going to burn them for all eternity in a lake of fire Unless, the little boys go into a nice dark box with the priest and tell him their deepest darkest secrets.
Oh but religion never hurt anybody, the devil made them do it.
I’ll go to Hell if you go to Pastafarian Heaven. Deal?
Maybe then you’ll believe.
Hail!
What do you think about love? >:)
Love is the best! But my idea of hell closely resembles the Chrisitan idea of Heaven, ughhh
That’s just gross. My little brother comes on this site, man. Take this off please, Bobby.
Len Guini,
I know what you mean. My older sister’s little brother comes to this site and I am outraged for her.
.
P.S. Why do these crazy people get to post links and mine always seem to get messed up? I tried to post something relevant a while back (I don’t really remember what it was) and that took three tries!
.
(P.S)^2 That’s significantly more than a page of links. It must have taken a really long time to put them there. Come on DanielRaimon! Even fundies have more of a life than that (and sadly, some of their posts are more grammatically correct).
What a sad little man.
@I love eruptions in heaven
.
Yes! I think it lives in the chat room!
@ JC
I know you really got a raw deal in life, so if I happen to catch you near a beer volcano, no worries, I’ll lift that robe right off of ya, you don’t even have to worry about talking me into it! Unless, of course, you’d rather someone with other equipment handle the matter….
This is my retards shouldn’t be allowed to write hiaku poems.
too many variables.
or in case you aren’t drunk and near a keyboard:
This is why retards shouldn’t be allowed to write haiku poems; too many variables.
Halo!!!
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I believe you are a bowl of Tofu Jello. That still doesn’t make it true, although it probably is.
O, you like to be mocked then, do you. Well I won’t give you the satisfaction. Good post… Hey Christian (yes I even capitalized it) did you ever notice that “God” (that too) is only one letter away from “good” and “devil” is only one letter away from “evil”. Bet we can laugh about that in heaven too, huh?
God is loving,forgiving, and all knowing. You fight because you don’t know how to solve your problems with love and compassion. God loves all people no matter what you have done in your life. What people mean when they say they show the way to the Lord is that, they want to help you know more about God and to accept him into yourlives as your Lord and Savior; they don’t mean they force whats right and wrong on others.God waits on the other side of the door, all you have to do is let Him in. We all are his children; except we aren’t really his children until we accept Him into are lives.For if we don’t then we still belong to satan and we are set on the path to hell.We are not to hate others, we are to be quick to listen,slow to speak,and slow to anger.The Lord’s standerds are so high that He considers hatred to be murder and lust to be adultery.I’m not saying it’s impossible because the Lord closes the door to no one. But im afraid to say that one Day, God will close the door and some will be left on the side of the door, knocking…but that will only happen in the Tribulation Period. Those who are truly christians’ will respect others and love them, but not be apart of their sinful ways.Satan is the father of lies and he will tempt you and make you think things that will sometimes make you slip and fall but with the Lord in your heart and mind, He will help you move mountains, now my friends i don’t mean literally like if you go to a moutain and tell it to move it will go somewhere; but mountains in your lives that cause burdens and does nothing but cause pain and corrupt.Those mountains are the troubles and problems in your lives that with His help you can do it.For without God you cannot do anything, you couldn’t breathe,speak,move, and lets face it even exist. Also to those who see God as a physical being are wrong to do so, for God is a spirit, He can make his form be whatever He wants.In a way this may seem selfish but its not; we are the selfish ones, all we do is want and want, what do we want? we want money,power,and so forth. God gives us so much for free, if we had to pay for it we would never have the money, if we had to bargain for it, then nothing we do will be good enough. Also somewhat i have personally realized this about God, He his a selfish God;He wants no man before Him.That doesn’t make Him anyless than what He is. He is my “Father”, my creator, my savior ,my Lord.I am His instrument He may do with me whatever He wishes.It’s the call to God what we try do do, which is show and help bring others to God by letting them know of His prescence. They can accept Him or not but He prefers that we do. For He so loved the world, He gave his own begotten son so that we may not burn in hell for all eternity but that we maybe saved and gain eternal life. I hope my words of the Lord, help you in your lives. I pray in the name of the Father,the Son, and the Holy Spirit,Amen.
@ Sheepfollowingthyshepherd #192 says:
“they don’t mean they force whats right and wrong on others”
Unfortunately, Sheepfollowingthyshepherd, that’s *precisely* what many soi-disant christians are explicitly trying to do. Force their interpretation of what’s right and wrong on other people (like me) when I don’t want it and don’t need it (and don’t agree, often, what’s “wrong”). I know very well how to solve my problems with love and compassion; which is more than some “christians” seem to do (Brazilian archbishop for one). If all this comforts you, Sheepfollowingthyshepherd, OK but keep it to yourself along with the Tooth Fairy. Frankly, your name gives the game away - sheeplike and unquestioning. Baaa
@#192 SFTS:
It’s obvious that you’re sincere. It’s obvious that you’re xian, since you can’t spell and punctuation is one of life’s mysteries to you. It’s also obvious that you have not learned how to think for yourself. I’d be more likely to accept some of your ramblings if there was even the tiniest shred of evidence in the real world to back it up, but alas, there isn’t. Please keep your prayers and beliefs to yourself, I really don’t have any use for them. If you want to believe this nonsense, go right ahead, but don’t try to foist it off as though it is the incontrovertible truth.
RAmen
ET
Post # 189
Can this junk pls be pwnd asap?
I soooooooo hate spammers. Perhaps we should let em walk the plank!
Well that’s a wall of text I won’t be reading.
For all those saying there is an omnipitent and loving god that’s an imposibility. It’s not a logical possibility. God can not be both and act as he does.
It’s a logical statement of fact like this: If there is a god then god is omnipitent he can do anything he wants, and he’s loving he wouldn’t allow bad things to happen.
But bad things do happen.
So it can be ammended as such:
1. either god is NOT omnipitent and can do nothing but IS loving
2. he IS omnipitent and NOT loving and cares nothing for people
3. he is NEITHER omnipitent nor loving and can do nothing and cares for nothing.
But fear not, the FSM answers all those questions. For he is drunk most of the time and therefore sometimes a little off in his omnipitance and sometimes very loving and then wants to punch you in the face. Thus answering all theological debates.
Ra’men
@189
Finds it funny that an xtian posted that many adult websites here. I guess “turning the other cheek” meant something different to them!
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