Yeah, everyone keep mocking. Enjoy yourself while you can. Laugh with your father Satan. You poor, poor people; you have no idea.
-Steve
Yeah, everyone keep mocking. Enjoy yourself while you can. Laugh with your father Satan. You poor, poor people; you have no idea.
-Steve
You poor, poor man. May the FSM have mercy on your non-existent soul.
RAmen
Mock, and the Door shall be opened….
1. Nobody’s worshipping their dinners, it’s an analogy. CTFO.
2. Since when did Italian Food = Satan? O.o
Actually, I have heard that all christians worship Sargoth-Kuul without knowing it, the one-winged planar lord who can create fake realities in people’s minds and devours their souls, whom just happens to have the cross as his symbol.
I think FSM, or Satan as you claim him to be, be an excellent choice over something that evil, and one cannot fly with one wing, anyways.
I would say a person could believe in God and also FSM….
I mean, we just don’t want religion taught in schools. I think reasonable people understand that. And really who’s to say God couldn’t be a FSM anyway… Makes a lot of sense with his noodly appendage and all.
I am also personally a big fan of the beer volcano and stripper factory in heaven.
Mo one is mocking God here. They are mocking idiots… Wait…. “special people” like Steve here.
If we all ignore people like Steve, will they go away? I mean, don’t we just justify their complaints by responding to them? We’d have lots more time for pasta if we just laughed and didn’t worry about the typing. And yes, I admit the bit of hypocracy I show. I was just wonderin’. :)
Yes, I will keep mocking, thankyouverymuch.
And methinks we have more ideas than the mindless sheep of your religion.
By the by, Aunty Ism wins.
WELL ALL YOU CHRISTIANS ARE GOING TO THE FSM HELL EVER THINK ABOUT THAT HUH DID YEAH
Christians believe that God can be something as strange as a bush on fire,
and they think Pastafarianism is ridiculous?
Just another hypoChristy, brought to you by The Universal Church Of Telling People What They Should Believe, Or Else (TUCOTPWTSB,OE).
Well, at least I finally found out who my father is.
Oh, please.
My father is a man by the name of Walter. He goes by Wally. He’s a database administrator at a company in Vancouver, WA, and is very good at what he does. He gives blood on a regular basis, and is a very open-minded, open-hearted man.
My father is not Satan. My father is not God. He’s a mild-mannered, middle-aged man.
Because some of us don’t believe in what we percieve to be no more than a fairy tale, or because some of us believe scientific evidence and a sense of humor to be much more significant and important than archaic tales, we’re automatically Satanists? Please, give me a break. I know there are a good number of devout Christians who follow Pastafarianism, and I know that there are a good number of atheists who do as well. The Christians are not consorting with the devil, and the atheists can’t be, because they don’t believe in such a thing.
I found these quotes in an old book a while ago. I figure you might benefit from them.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
-Matthew 5:43-48
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. ”
-Matthew 5:5
“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
-Matthew 7:12
You are not loving your “enemies”, you are scorning them and holding yourself in much higher regards than you do them. You are not being meek, you are being condescending. You are doing to your “enemies” what you most certainly would not want done to you.
We’re all human here, Steve. Some of us believe in an invisible man in the sky. Some of us believe that senses of humor take precedence over ancient texts. But we’re all people, and none of us deserves to be called the spawn of evil incarnate.
Blech. So much for carriage returns.
Allright. I know tons of chritians. They all think that I am crazy for beliving, but yet, if i go their churhc, they claim to love all. Is it just me, or is this hypocrisy? Where is the love. Oh and just FYI, the satanists also disagree with this idea, so that blows the idea of us pastafarians going to hell. Hou rah.
May the Flying Spaghetti Monster have mercy on your soul! May you be touched by his noodly appendage.
One must ask exactly how ignorant someone would have to be before they even thought of posting something along the lines of “Laugh with your father Satan.”
You have the freedom to believe what you want, but it is completely unreasonable to assume that YOUR faith, which, as per the rest of them, has not a whisker of evidence in its favour, is somehow inherently superior to everyone elses, and that the act of bandying around ridiculous appeals to fear is somehow excusable.
Poor Steve…. I think he’s stressing. But he keeps coming back?!?!
Steve,
You claim that the followers of the FSM “have no idea”. I am just curious to know if you, in fact, have any idea and where you may have gotten that idea.
Not to mention why you feel that idea is true and correct in any and all aspects.
Jared
My father is Satan? And here I’ve been calling him Gary in all those school forms…
But cool! Does this mean I can shoot fireballs now or something? I wonder when it kicks in? I won’t even need a stove to cook my wonderful pasta XD
(snicker) I love mocking right wing christians
Well, I am a Satanist and I do not hate Pastafarianism. As a matter of fact I love that great big god of pasta. While most Satanists do not worship Satan or any diety for that matter, some choose to do so. Satanism is not about HAVING to do anything, its about WANTING to do it. I personally hope for a future where all Christian churches are replaced by temples to the FSM.
As for my father being Satan, I do not subscribe to that masochistic mindset, I am not afraid of any god or devil. So how can your made-up villian be my father? Why must you put words in other peoples mouths?
Nobody mocks Jesus more frequently or more virulently than many of the misguided people who loudly and self-righteously claim to speak for him.
Satan loves fundamentalists almost as much as he loves creationists.
We could continue to fight about whose imaginary friend is better,
or someone could open up the first FSM restaraunt serving exclusively pasta.
Maybe there could be a little gift shop, where all religious texts would be available.
That’d be pretty cool.
i agree with ian. a FSM resteraunt would be better, and wih all this talk of satan going on, i heard that santa claus is actually satan. aparentlly in the bible it says that “lucifer will appear in a form, and steal away the children”. check it out on the net.
ramen
Laugh with your father Satan…very christian of you to condemn us for expressing our beliefs. Very rational of you to send hate mail to us to try and change these beliefs. Very intelligent to act condescending in said hate mail to bolster your overbearing attitude with just that little bit more idiocy.
Hope you learn how to be a rational, christian (I’m Jewish and i know more about this than you seem to), intelligent person. Ramen.
=D
That makes a little sense. My father has a pointy head, is balding, kinda red…walks around the house in a pair of briefs. Yep. Mah daddy’s Satan. How’re my bruthas (’n’ sistas) of another mutha? D:
(By the by, I’d fly 1000 miles to go to a FSM restaraunt. Srsly. It’d win at life.)
In reply to Voxx…
(17 Sep 2006, 7:42 pm)
Is there any rule against some -ism being the right one? Don’t think so. So then it might be that one is “more right” than some other one! :)
Now let’s find out which one…
Did it ever occur to you that the people who brainwash you with jesus stuff tell you people who mock christianity are mocking with Satan, the made-up bad guy, b/c they want you to refuse all doubt it may arise in you as satan trying to convince you?
I’m a Pastafarian for Jesus, and quite frankly, it’s mindless mutton like Steve that make me cringe and pray for his Noodly Appendage to visit the Earth again soon, and frequently. RAmen.
(I mean, seriously, is he that dense?!)
And another thing…. The concept of Satan was annexed from earlier traditions. He was one of a pantheon of deities that Christianity either wiped out completely or assimilated into Christian beliefs. He wasn’t evil until Christianity gave him a makeover. And the Virgin Mary? She’s a desexualized version of the Divine Mother, still being worshipped by Christians everywhere, especially Catholics. I guess you could say that Satan made me believe these things. That’s just the type of thing he’d do, isn’t it? It’s circular, baboonish logic. Evolve, why don’t you?
That explains his compulsive lying!
I am sometimes truly saddened by the sacrifices that some christians make year after year, generation after generation, no meat on Friday’s, church every Sunday, no porn on the internets, no alcohol, no sex before marriage as if they actually believed suffering for Jesus was the key to heaven….then I just giggle.
J.J. post-Rapture Property Claims Lawyer
I think Satan was derived from Pan - the dude with the horns and flute generally used by good girls as the reason for the bun in the oven in the “bad” old days before the missionaries pulled in. As for him being my dad - it’s possible I guess because I never got to meet the SOB and judging by what my mother had to say about him…
I also wanna know if this means I get any benefits - don’t want fireballs - am thinking a universal infinate tax exemption will do me fine…
Satan doesn’t exist. Therefore, I can not worship him.
At least that’s the way it goes in my religion.
Yeah, everyone keep mocking. Enjoy yourself while you can. Laugh with your father Satan. You poor, poor people; you have no idea.
-Steve
well technicly
FSM IS God
It’s just we dont worship him in the same way as you
OR
You worship the FSM different to us and you perceive him in another aspect to us
Also
FSM says hi.
HAIL LORD CROMDAR!
My fathersn name was Neil not satan. But thats ok. Its a common mistake. People come up to me on the street all the time and ask if I am the son of satan.
Just as a thought as we are all discussing Satan. If my memory serves me right. Old Lucifer fought for us so we could all go to heaven as he didn’t agree with gods….. social restrictions on how to get to heaven. As god had strict rules in place over who gets in. Secondly I thought Jesus has all ready died for my sins. That basically means I can do what I want with my life as it will always be sin free. So I have nothing to worry about as I am going to heaven. Just as another thought why do certain religious order make Jesus sound like he is god and where did the Holy ghost/spirit come from?
bla bla lba….blablabla!!!! bla?! blabla!
HoosierX, I so totally agree with you. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Pappa never told me he was the devil. I guess my babysitters wern’t lying when they told him I was the spawn of satan. Oh well, if I spit fire about this for a couple of days maybe he’ll get me a new soul to throw into the lake of fire.
P.S.
Pappa says if you keep this up he’ll see you soon :o
Satan loves jews.
That’s why he gets angry on the passion when the Jew temple is destroyed.
I’m assuming you don’t know what Satan means. Because Satan is, in the Jewish faith, kind of like a lawyer. His job is to “prosecute”, or try, the living people to ensure they are worthy of going to Heaven. It’s his job, not his choice. Of course, Christians twisted that. And now Christians are twisting Satan again! Or at least one Christian is, claiming that our beloved creator of many sauces and wonderful pasta is, indeed, Satan. But, see, I hope you go to Hell, where you’ll suffer with stale beer and strippers with VD. Meanwhile, I’ll be off pillaging in the Carribean, collecting some gold or whatever I can find that the other pirates didn’t already get, and I’ll be huntin’ down treasures and drinking grog, passing out candy to children, and looking for beautiful women. Isn’t it great to worship the FSM?
C’mon, man… really? Satan?
What about FSM do you find so very threatening?
Tell me about your mother, Steve…
Like ALL religions this has NO LOGIC.It doesnt need any If we follow the rules of the other religions it doesnt need to be proved because the answer to every question is THIS:OUR GOD ____________ (fill in the blank, jesus, budda, alhah, aphodite, easterbunny, FSM or whatever) created everything that exist.Thats our proof!!Sound a bit like the 3 abrahamic religions to you???
May i be embraced with the love of his noodly appendeges for all of eternity……..RAmen
TOMATOE the PROPHET,
Please don’t talk and make the followers of FSM seem like more Steves. Please think or at least do a little research before you jump headfirst into an argument. May the FSM grace you with his noodely appendage.
My father is not Satan. My father is a nice man.
You say we have no idea? I say: You have no idea. You are self-righteous (which is a sin according to christianity) You are condemning others (which is also a sin, only God may do that) You are disrespecting other people (another sin!) You think you are better than your next man (that’s a major one…)
Now: I do not believe neither in your heaven nor your hell. Alas, I will go to none of these places. In four sentences, you commit at least four sins. When I think of how many sentences you have written in your life (or only here at venganza.org), I know where you, according to your own faith, will spend eternity.
Please think about that before you post another stupid post here.
If FSM is the creator then isn’t Satan more like Vietnamese food? Honestly, what is PHO if not the Antichrist? I hate that crap! What was the question?
You guys aren’t even funny. Flying Spaghetti Monster. A bunch of rejected comedy writer, huh? If you want to be insulting the least you could do is be funny. I could be in a partial vegetable state and come up something funnier and more clever than this. Best of luck amusing yourselves.
well my buddy satan
DOESN’T EXIST!!!!1111ON3!!onehundredeleven111!!!!!!
” And the FSM said to Steve, “Hey Steve. Seriously. Hey, you fucking Steve.” Steve did not hear His words over the clacking of his keyboard. The FSM was indifferent. He was drunk, as guided by his Marinara Wisdom and yelling at a guy named Steve. The next day, when He remembered his doings, he did not understand them at all. He turned his attention instead, to guide a surgeon through the most Immaculate Breast Enhancement Surgery of all time. And that, is the Way of Our Lord. ”
See, Steve? There’s something in Bobby’s Gospel for everyone.
your god is a contradiction, you are worse that the romans because you should kno better, u stupid, stupid boy, btw u would go the FSM hell bet we’re so kind there isnt one, unlike your god, the smiter
StefanF, I beg to differ with you. I think many people who make comments at this site are very funny. I laugh often when I read responses to hate-mail. Of course, I am sympathetic to the cause and my sense of humor is flexible enough to appreciate the extreme stupidity and genious that has manifested itself here. When I was younger, and I had not yet been touched by His Noodly Appendage, I didn’t think Monty Python’s Quest for the Holy Grail (or is it Search for the Holy Grail) was funny.
Then, through the FSM’s supreme grace, I became enlightened. Now, I only have to think about the Knights who say “Nee,” or the Black Knight saying “It’s just a flesh wound!” and I smile. May His grace mercifully enter your life as it has mine.
Uh huh….Satan is my daddy. Oh baby.
you are a very close-minded person.
very arrogant.
how can you think that only christians go to heaven?
and everyone else goes to hell?
what kind of god would make their people with such intellect, logic, and reason enough to see that this is wrong if it is right?
FSM is Satan? ill be damned. haha.
#1. Where did you meet my father? Not many people know he’s really Satan, please don’t spread that around and blow his cover.
#2. If I’m going to hell, (which, according to the bible and to Dante, I am) it’s going to be for a LOT worse than believing in a Flying Spaghetti Monster.
#3. All the cool kids are going there, too.
Some people indeed have NO idea at all. If one does not believe in Chirst then obviously he/she does not believe in anti-Christ either. So the name of Satan is only suitable to those who believe in Christ.
well, my Dad wasn’t such a bad guy. His name was Fred, not satan, but perhaps I’m delusional. I certainly have a problem with any group that has the balls to name g-d. If I could manage to have ‘faith’ in a named lord, could it improve my fade-away jump shot?
King James tell me why we need a king?
Actually (replying to a post I read about halfway through) I think Satan comes from a horned Egyptian fertility god (when you give “bunny ears” to a friend in a photo you are actually advertising his robust sperm count, and yes, that comes straight from the Da Vinci Code.) I agree with the fourth(ish) person to post that people really don’t need to bother replying to Steve’s post. It’s kind of pointless, if you think about it; either he doesn’t get it, and he’ll remain ignorant and close-minded for the rest of his life, or he does get it, in which case he will have something in common with the people who have read all of the two million posts telling him he’s ignorant and close-minded. Either way, nobody really wins, and as he doesn’t reply often or at all to any of the posts, it’s futile to post any more. No offense to the people who have made some really good arguments against him, I like arguments as much as the next person.
=D
im christian, dont believe in the 7 day bullshit, or basically most of the O.T - which, fair enough, has SOME morals hidden very fucking awkwardly among the crap, N.T much better, fun hippie capricorn, has magic and gets crucified, cool story! (again, im not trying to convert noone into my thinkin, so i can rip the piss all i want! - God gets it im sure, him and the spaghetti,) but i got my opinions i dont want to get into - anywho, the guy who posted this is a bollcoks, and so is “Lote”, he just got the whole satan story wrong completely, obviously his memory serves him badly,
anyone ever think that that classic image of the big white beardy god,could be one and the same with the spaghetti monster - obviously god can fly, because he created us in his image, and as a second, more sucessful attempt, made the kryptonians! - and all that wild beard, that has got to be spaghetti, he can look any way he wants, and i know i want a spaghetti beard!
love this site, fucking excellent, ordered the book, im happy! gotta get into more arguments with stupid christians on this though, so much fun arguing with no-it-all christian preachery types in town,
this is really really long isnt it?
isnt it??
bollocks***
Repost from SDSU student fed-up with Crazies on his Campus:
Title: False Christianity.
Email responses To: unglued86@gmail.com
“False Christianity”
-Just thinking about campus today as a calm, dreary, and quiet place. No dead babies or angry False Christians with loud voices. I’m sorry if you are a “Born Again Christian”, I really am. You people are in the likes of Bush and everything stereotypical about confused Christians misguided by Evangelical GREEDY leaders. You preach and preach your message about spreading God’s word and spreading Scripture. I wish I could excuse your religious practices and political beliefs but I cannot. Unfortunately, the people of your denomination choose to forget key elements of the Bible and Christ’s teaching AND actions. The people of your church pride themselves on their shady relationship with the Bible. Unlike Methodists, Lutherans, Catholics, or any other Christian denomination of longer histories; your Church bases it’s foundation purely on words from an ancient book. Other Christian churches use the Bible and hold it to be a holy object, but would rather base their churches on EVERY aspect of Christ’s life. The reason for this could be for many different things…I am unsure. However; I do know one of the benefits from this more diversified foundation and lies therein the fact that these churches understand and teach the Bible differently. These churches also understand the Bible as a book written by the hands of mere men. These more traditional Christians who choose to educate themselves understand the…yes dare I say problems with the Bible as it is today? Namely historical problems and tainted Christian leadership (corrupt Popes/Governments) altering the Bible as it passed down through the centuries. We KNOW there ARE things purposely left out of the King James version you take so literally and even exaggerate upon. We also know that anthropologically speaking, mankind went through extremely sexist, racist, antisemitic periods. These periods lasted for centuries, bearing the weight of the extreme Monarchs who believed they were put into power BY God and were themselves magically closer to heaven. Somewhere along the lines came a man who was documented well as an unfit ruler. He had the Bible translated and in light of his biographical information (search 1. http://wikipedia.com Keyword: King James) much more than likely altered it to fit his Anglo-Saxon- Delusional power obsession. Additionally, he was well known for editing and even banning books for reasons such as merely MENTIONING females within the text. So, here is what it comes down to. I am starting to feel the stings of embarrassment for even being associated under the same religion as these oppresive and or judgmental Christians! I do not like people from other parts of the world to associate my Christianity with your Christianity. I do not like that you harass the public, I do not like it when you bring small children to your anger-ridden rallies, and I do not like it that you shout anger filled messages quote, “from Christ” –as if Jesus Christ himself leaves notes under your pillows every morning. The Catholic church does NOT have all the answers. The Jews do Not have all the correct answers. More still, nor do even the Baptist. Most importantly, YOU and YOUR CHURCH and YOUR opinions and your sparkly new saved souls do NOT contain every right answer from God, Christ, or any other deity. You are human, you are like everyone else. You might feel the fires of hell along with me, or we might feel the grace of God in heavens light together. You may even cease to exist as any sort of being…right along with me. But I will never, ever for as long as the rest of my life continues; believe that you are righteous and correct representatives of God. Jesus Christ is famous for loving everyone and time and time again as I read through New Testament (you know that spot in the Bible AFTER Leviticus and Exodus when modern civilization began) I find messages of love and acceptance. And, unlike you do not need to fish for, misconstrue, or exaggerate things to interpret the message. Christ’s era and geographical location was FILLED with a diverse population of people, religions, Gods, beliefs, cultures, countries, races, and EVERY other type of person. It is then, in this surrounding that he told the world to accept and to love thy neighbor, again and again making sure his message was heard clearly. I do not nor ever will believe that someone will go to hell for interracial marriage or dating, or go to hell for committed but unrecognized unions, or that we should make a 13 year old rape victim damage herself and body so that you can feel better about a fertilized Bastard Zygote without a conscious or developed brain. You people make me sick, and you make me tired. You exhaust the strings of my faith to their absolute limits. YOU EMBARRASS ME…and YOU EMBARRASS Christians who do love the world and it’s people who understand that even agnostic, atheist, or whoever ; deserve respect. Go now, you ’saved’ Christians and really do something for Christ. I don’t get that nifty memo from God once a week like you apparently do, but my guess is Christ would rather you go do something like feed the homeless than bitch and whine in an obnoxious manner. Please, go out and pick up another book, make it a history book.Look back and see how many times new reformed “Christians” pointed fingers. Everyone from Pagans to African Americans have been singled out at some point. Truly, I can only conclude that these people are as over- zelous as they are pathetic like Elementary School bullies. You won’t enter heaven by putting other people beneath you. STOP TRYING TO CLIMB TO THE GATES OF HEAVEN ON THE BACKS OF WHOEVER YOU DEEM SINNERS. I assure you, not to worry. Your God will (biblically speaking) reward his people better for doing helpful and repenting things. And, at no point do I think that Christ will chastise me for accepting everyone.
P.S. Get your pictures of mutalated babies and big banners out of my face. I have school to attend to and your Xenophobic protest are distracting.
P.P.S. I will pray for Christ to take the hate from your hearts :)
mommy? satan is my daddy?
If you can’t believe in the FSM how can you have faith to believe in Christianity. Steve.. i think I speak for everyone when i say this: Turn of your computer, close your bible, go get laid and stay off the drugs.
Well, if the leader of the free world can be a devout Christian, believe in the Bibles teachings of ‘Thou shalt not kill’ and ‘love thy neighbor’?………….. Guess believing in the FSM is far better.
Oh yeah, you know that ID is wrong and religion is bunk.
But you can’t stop talking about it. Every day, more and more questions, more and more talk, all about religion.
If you KNOW the facts about all this, why are you still asking questions about it? Looks like it bugs you. Wonder why that is?
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Funny that Christianity preaches mercy, forgiveness and love, but will never ever forgive Satan for dissing Adam. I say forgive Satan, he was young, he didnt know any better.
/
FSM however forgives and accepts all. All kiss the noodly appendages of His Holiness!
Quote:
“I mean, we just don’t want religion taught in schools.”
Ah ha! If you don’t want religion taught in schools, this and evolution can’t be taught! The reason is that you have no proof. How do you know if a spaghetti monster created everything were you there??? See, to prove something, you need to observe it! If you can’t observe something, you can’t prove it! So, your ‘religion’, evolution, and Christianity, and all other ‘religions’ are accepted by faith.
Ah, we have, once again, someone not intelligent enough to know the definition of the word “satire.” Lego-boy, this is between you and the OED.
…..Hello, Mr Lego-kid. Evolution has PROOF behind it—if the time comes, it can also be DISproved. It’s science. You can’t prove or disprove god, so keep anything god-related OUT of science. Simple. Duh.
Science requires observation! Key word! What proof does evolution have? Where are the in-between phases of the evolving? There aren’t any! See, we can’t go back and observe what happened. We can’t go back in time, so we can’t observe how the universe was made, whether by God or by the big bang. Thus, evolutiong and Christianity are both accepted by faith. That’s all I’m trying to say.
Yes, I understand–only, small issue….there IS proof for evolution. Enough to make it a THEORY–might be wrong, might be right, but the evidence we have suggests evolution. In terms of evidence, there’s fossile evidence, to name one. So there IS evidence for this theory, which was founded based on the scientific method. Therefor it’s ok to be taught in science. The ‘in-between phases’ haven’t been found yet….either they will one day, proving evolution, they will be found but will disprove evolution, or evolution will continue to remain a BASED-ON-EVIDENCE theory.
But, we haven’t seen the changes made. How do we know that one thing ‘evolved’ into another if we don’t have those in-between stages and we can’t observe the changes?
I agree with gill. Religion and science are two separate things. They will never be able to coexist. Anyone who thinks so is just kidding themselves, its one or the other. As for what should be taught in school, thats simple, science. And since evolution IS science. It should be taught. Keep the religion at home, the school is no environment for brainwashing. Children are there to learn, not to be manipulated.
But you don’t get it! To have science, you must have observation. Here’s a definition of science by dictionary.com:
systematic knowledge of the physical or material world gained through observation and experimentation.
Gained through OBSERVATION! We can’t observe evolution happening. We can’t travel back in time to view it. Therefore, we must accept that that was what happened by faith. The same is with Christianity. We can’t go back and observe the creation of the universe. Thus, we accept that God created it by faith.
You’re missing the point. Using the evidence we have, we can figure out what might have happened. Yes, we’re missing some of the pieces…..but that’s why it’s only a theory, ’cause it could be wrong. The difference with religion isn’t that we weren’t there to see it, but that there’s a chance of proving one, and no chance of proving the other. “systematic knowledge of the physical or material world gained through observation and experimentation.”–observation includes fossiles and the like, you know. Not just what happens RIGHT IN FRONT of your eyes. Do you not believe in dinosaurs because you didn’t see them walk around?
I can’t even believe this discussion is happening. I guess it’s a good thing, but I can’t wrap my brain around the argument that evolution can’t be right because we can’t observe it. OK, well, I can’t see Jesus. You say others did and there’s a record of it as evidence? Well, I can’t see them either. As I’ve said before, if your religion gives you a purpose and meaning in life, great! Teach it to your children so they too can benefit from Jesus’ example of how to live a righteous life. I have taught my children about spirituality in a different way, and, thankfully, my two teenage girls are now following in my footsteps. The teaching of religion, masquerading as science, should not happen in publicly-funded schools. Not with my money, not my kids. This is the word of djjack.
RAmen.
Are you sure the Archfiend of Anger would really have sex with a woman? Try the Archfiend of Lust, Asmodeus. However, your filthy hypocrisy binds you to the 8th Circle of Hell. Welcome to the Kingdom of Zamiel, Archfiend and Lord of the 8th Circle of Hell. Long live Noodly Heaven!
Do I get to pick which ditch I get in this 8th circle? I was always hoping to be in the ice skating rink in the center. Anyway, about the evolution… everything is evolving. If you need to WATCH evidence of evolution, check out some amphibians. Otherwise, stop taking for granted that people are evolving all the time. We are taller than we were 100 years ago, and we have built tolerances to certain types of bacteria and diseases. That’s about all the info I have to offer about that… I’m an English major. I can talk to you about the evolution of language… word to your mom.
When I say stop taking it for granted, I mean stop and take notice… I, unfortunately, am not evolved enough to fight off my head cold that is clouding my thought process.
Actually, my Father is Greg, and I’m fairly certain he does not moonlight as Satan. But thank you for playing “W.A.’s Wheel of Idiots.”
RAmen, already.
~W.A.
Hiya!
Like God said himself, “I am the lord thy God, thou shalt not have strange Gods before me.” I find this funny, if the God the christians warship really did create the universe and everything else, wouldn’t that mean that all the other religions Gods’ are just made up? If so, why would God give a crap about them? However, if the other Gods really do exist, the “real” God must’ve created them as well, right? Why would he do that?
Conclusion: GOD IS COMPETETIVE AND HATES MONOPOLY!
Frankly, I think religion is all bullshit. It’s just a tool for power.
That’s really funny and I know it’s a typo… but a christian WARship hehehe. You sank my destroyer!
Aww crap. I had a feeling I left a typo somewhere. What can I say though? I’m Swedish after all.
Steve, they liveth and loveth a lie. You know that. So do I.
They try to sink us down with them. You know that. They love to mock Christianity and they love numbers….666. The beast.
Religion is sitting right here. History is sitting right here. Prophecy is sitting right here.
We also have clue words that we recognize with each other.
The ones of faith laugh and can see through the bullshit.
We also recognize one another for the truth in us is told as it is and not fabricated. The Lord causes us to tell it like it is. So I have told you what was behind the music on the radio. I was raised by people who did not believe in God and lived in a town that did not believe in God and I was almost killed by these heathens. Yet did I keep praying! I will keep praying and the world shall see signs and wonders because of it.
Again, King James sold Bibles and God did not sell the truth.
King James has made a mockery of Mary and lied about her and God is going to show the world this. You shall see. King James caused bloodshed and disgrace and King James is on my shit list.
My miracle of the cheese sandwich is at the Golden Palace.
It is my face if no one had not of busted my head open or broke my jaws or my nose or my teeth. The face is mine if the world had of listened to me and did not harm me. I have suffered like the saint I am for my faith.
Must I remind you that there are two witnesses King James is accutely aware of for being sent back by God? Read Revelations, they can CONTROL the weather it says. I have proven this fact over and over and over again. I am of God.
People saw me call down the fire from Heaven, they saw me predict where lightning would strike, and they saw me telling of storms and one such town, Dade City,Florida has a letter that I sent to them telling them when they got the letter, that a tornado would come and rip their town up.
Exactly as I said, a tornado came and ripped their town up.
Laugh you stupid fucks.
Some of us don’t question the end times. Some of us are just waiting it out.
STUPID STUPID FUCKS.
Where can you find such a woman as I? You will not ever see another woman like this one is. Great is my pyschic ability,
great is my graciousness, great is my suffering. Great is my God and those who watch me as I live out the end days shall know, He has sent me.
psychic sorry
But why a p there anyhow?
Do me a favor,
pray.
The deal is this,
Queen of peace?
Not yet.
I am still working on it.
God works in strange ways and so do I.
Up with the sun…
While the so called leaders of the earth show how much they love you by sending you to battle
I hope you die well.
While the Lord I love says do not kill.
I hope I last.
oh for FSM’s sake….
Bobby’s last reply, will u stop talking in psuedo-rhyming gibberish. Some of these arguments are hard enough to understand as is… if u have an argument, speak it clearly, else your words will be skipped over as too much effort to bother decifering
Yes, Bobby’s Last Reply, I agree with the Aussie. Communicating with you is like trying to teach a pig to dance. It doesn’t work, and it annoys the pig.
I used to be a Christian, I must admit. I was brought up at a catholic school, went to church every sunday, had communion, and believed deeply, deeply in god. And I’m sure many have had the same experiences. Think about a devout Hindu, for example, he would of had very similar experiences to me, just that he would worship different gods. He had exactly the same reason to believe in his gods as you do in yours. yet according to you he will go to hell. Does he deserve this? Does he deserve to be punished for all eternity for doing nothing at all?
“they love numbers”–actually, I loath numbers. Whoever invented math and decided it’d be a grand thing to teach in school is the REAL satan.
And why so busy ranting about King James? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care if he’s on your ’shit list’ or not. Isn’t he already dead to begin with? *wishes BLR would make more sence*
Steve,
Mocking? I am not mocking. I truly believe in the premise of my religion…that The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the ONE TRUE GOD and that in heaven I will drink from the Beer Volcano and witness the STRIPPER FACTORY.
What do you believe? That the wrathful, commanding god of the Old Testament (or is it the kind, loving god of the New Testament) placed his son on earth to be featured in a Mel Gibson film or that the world was flooded with two of every animal placed on board a ship to ride out the storm? That’s just nuttiness! Most species would have died due to the poor santitation.
No, I find it much easier to accept that Pirates are prophets than to think that we are descended from Adam and Eve who spoke to a talking serpent (The Biblical texts NEVER say snake…only your preacher does).
BTW….Judge not lest ye be judged!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
smae with the fact that they “touched an ‘unspecified fruit’”, not “ate an apple”
puffaliaz
good point on the so-called apple.
thanx. that’s one good thing about being in a Catholic-infested school.
My Momma told me either Billy, Bobby or Johnny was my daddy! Satan was her favorite when she was lonely and used to send me down to the store to buy a pack of Dcell batteries for her toy Satan.
I was never allowed to play with Satan, apparently it was just for girls.
Can you get pregnet from a toy?
hahaha God is fake and jesus is too, wake up you stupid american christians.
Hey! Stop trashing Bobby’s last reply! He is my favorite poster. It is because of Bobby that I know that Vogons really do exist.
.
Also, would a loving God create a foppish Nazi Pope that wears Prada? At least his shoes are the color of marinara sauce, so there is some cogency.
By all that is Noodly and Good! I didn’t know my father was Satan! Oh, woe is me!
p.s. is it just me, or does it seem like either there are lots of Steves that hate us or is it all one guy?
And you have no idea how stupid you’re making yourself look.
Marcus: BLR (LOVE the acronym, by the way, guys) is a CHICK. Much like myself (just with less brain cells)… click on her name and it will take you to see her poetry… it’s very enlightening and good for a giggle or two.
BLR is a CHICK? I was hoping for a eunuch.
Ich HaBe FSM
See its funny to me to see fundamentalist Christians posting on this saying that whoever believe in the FSM is going to burn in hell. Number one because i am a Christian, and number two because the FSM is an idea folks, its an argument against teaching only intelligent design.
Oooohh, but you know Tyler, you’re going to hell because you had an IDEA in the first place! Naughty, naughty, you and those ideas. Not supposed to think for yourself.
Is not thinking for yourself that is against christian values, its thinking anything that doesn’t agree with chistian values. And i know i am responding to something way up the post by, legojedi, but we do have those so called “In Between” stages of evolution. Yes it is true that we havn’t observed any large speciaes evolve into new species, that is to say we have not seen any large species changed so much that they can not longer reproduce with teh original species. But we have ample evidence of single-low cellurlar organisms evolve, it is a fact that many bacteri have genes which allow them to reproduce and becuase they reproduce so often and in such quantities enough genetic mutation occures for bacteria to no longer be able to reproduce with eachother. Its where new strands of bacteria and viruses, such as aids and bird flue come from, geez you fundies need to look at the actual evidence prezented in texts above THIRD GRADE LEVEL sometimes. If you took a flashlight and a microscope up your butt with your head you might actually be able to see this happening, instead of stating that we can’t observe evolution in action.
RAmen
P.S. The very theory of evolution states that only tiny changes can take place at one time by natural selection, as a human generation(or other larger animal) can be as long as thirty years and a bacteria generation can be as short as an hour. We havn’t had the theory of evolution long enough to observe a complete species change amoung a lagrer organism.
noodly………………….
My father Satan? You fool! I am Satan!
I wonder if Satan prefers Linguine or Spaghetti?
Still i think that it is ludacris that the fundamentalists are wasting thier time telling people that they are going to burn in hell for an idea. Its so funny to me that they are ACTUALLY threatened by this. I dunno, could be because i’m a liberal, i guess that means i get to burn in hell to, but remember this, Ideas are bullet-proof, and they can’t be killed.
I wonder how the Flying Spaghetti Monster feels about rappers who corrupt the spelling of our youth?
Thats an interesting question. For that matter anyone have any idea what type of music FSM likes? Besides the theme song from pirates of the Carrabian, what type of music appeals to pasta?
Ooohh, Tyler quotes V for Vendetta. I love that movie.
Andrew: Some rappers include spelling in their songs… like “I’m a P-I-M-P G-A-N-G-S-T-E-R” and “it’s the capital S oh yes so fresh N double-O-P D-O-double-G-Y D-O-double-G you see” Pretty much it’s just Snoop Dogg that fights for literacy. Hehehe.
I agree with you that mocking religion is a very bad idea and respect would be much better.
Mocking religion is a bad idea? what would be better then, launching crusades/jihads (delete as appropriate) against people who hold different delusions?
Imagine a world without religion. ironically it’d be a lot closer to your supposed heaven than the one we have now…
Would it have a beer volcano?
Yes. I will keep mocking.
can’t remember where i heard the quote but i like it -
“religion fascinates me, but i’m baffled how otherwise intelligent people actually believe it…”
lol the christians never give up.
Cathie
They never give up coz they don’t know any better.
Heh. Heh.
If you truly knew how retarded you sound, yelling at people for having a satiric site. If you were a real Christian, you wouldn’t bother with admonishing us; you’d be too busy staking your claim on some heavenly real estate to really care. You’d be out helping people instead of throwing garbage-gospel to the apathetic masses. Shut up or start walking the walk instead of just talking the talk.
dude its a joke dont crap ur pants or anything
Hey Steve,
Dude, you’ve got a typo in that message of yours - my Dad’s name is Stan.
Hope this helps,
Your friend in pasta,
Davey