I seriously can’t wait to get into heaven! I can’t wait until I see you non-believers try to get in. I will seriously be laughing my ass off.
I can’t wait to be in heaven, watch you pitiful non-believers try to get in and watch Mary, the mother of Jesus, kick your asses all around the clouds. That will be my most awesome day.
-Brian Smith
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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I think that the assumption that we will “try” to get into heaven is a very naive one. Why would we want to completely submit to a cruel god who lets poverty, diseases and evil spread all over the world? Why would we want to submit to a god who allowed the holocaust happen? The Nazi’s were christian, they thought that Jews were evil. Now you wish a similar fate upon us, yet you would probably think Nazism was evil. Very hippocritical
I’ll be laughing when you expect to go into heaven and they won’t let you in. Fuck off, you who pervert the religion of Christianity to your own twisted ideas of hate. You are the worse breed of human.
there’s different breeds of human? I thought they were usually considered ‘races’…
“ok u guyz r really wierd ur argueing about a oso very tasty spaghetti monster and some otha gods. WTF R U GUYZ ON?!?!?! seriously i might as well worship a cute fluffy tarantula. c’mon heaven theres ony two things there a stripper factory and a beer volcano WHERE THE FUK WOULD U LIVE CMON WOULD U JUST PASS OUT IN SOME RANDOM PLACE EVERY NIGHT? u ppl suck and christians fuck u ive gone 2 a catholic school all my life its a LOAD OF SHIT!!! if your going to bellyache about some other persons religion you dont really have lives do you? GO WORSHIP UR OWN FUKING GOD AND SEE IF ANYONE CARES EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO THERE OWN OPINION SERIOUSLY!!” -freak
You would sleep in the Stripper factories! They have heating, Duh!
Brian SMith, it’s clear you have a deranged view of religion in general and the FSM in particular. I’d advise you to have your medications re-evaluated pronto.
hey brian….
i can’t wait till i get to be one with the great noodle monster in the sky. then i will stand there and then we’ll see who gets in…. great attitude there buddy. hmmm i wonder if people can be kicked OUT of heaven….
satan did… he must of wondered where the stripper factory and beer volcano were
I can’t remember if I’ve brought this up here before or not, but…
Has it ever occurred to any of the “fundies” who keep making noise about “laughing at us from Heaven” that us sinners might very well end up sitting right beside you?
If, by some sick cosmic joke, the basic tenets of Christianity as reported by the more fundamentalist sects of North America do turn out to be true, then all us non-believers will be right there with you. Because spending eternity with you self-righteous pricks saying “I told you so” would, for us, BE Hell. A library of nothing but “Left Behind” novels and endless Petra concerts and fifty-seven channels of “The 700 Club,” not to mention all of you sanctimonious bastards… I can’t imagine a worse punishment. I’d RATHER have a lake of fire.
So here’s hoping you’re wrong, and if you really want to keep us riff-raff out of your glorious kingdom, you’d better hope you’re wrong, too.
OK dudes and dudettes
Barbie dolls and stuffed fat rag dolls alike
Every woman is beautiful in her own way!
We all get ours some day.
OH YES!
Love does not make the world go round,
it makes women get round.
The fountain of youth is in your old man’s pants ladies.
GET REAL and find a life besides mine.
The pope talked about me singing to the world before he died.
SO GET A CLUE WORLD
the lady sings the blues because she is the blue.
Great website!, been up for hours laughing out loud. The hate mail speaks for itself really, but this one in particular has me worried, i’ll explain why;
We have to ask ourselves what we know, address the FACTS, what we see for ourselves everyday- the ground we walk on(if not paved over) is millions of years old, beneath are fossils of creatures long gone(what do you think oil actually IS?) Layers on layers of sedement/rock created below sea, now perhaps way above any water. Rivers have carved canyons. In geological terms human lifespans are soooo short, the timescale is an important factor in understanding evolution, aswell as GRADUAL change from one GENERATION to the next. Given enough TIME, ‘complicated’ things can arise.
The absolute belief in a heaven/hell,
This belief that seeing the world and other people in a certain way will gain some kind of ‘respect’ and an accession to a perceived higher place after death means you live your life according to someone elses (perverse) ideals. This has not involved any intelligent logical thought on your part, you have probably held this belief since you were a child when it was drilled into you via methods of fear and mental imagery of ‘hell’. The initial hatemail was driven by fear, they don’t understand natural selection as an explaination for the diversity of life, let alone the meaning of FSM. This person is afraid to live their life in the present moment and actually seems to liken death. This life is all we have, and this is all we know for fact!
The question is would you happily kill yourself and others in the process, under the delusion that you would go to ‘heaven’ and others go to ‘hell’? Fundamentalism is the same whatever the religion. There is no US and THEM, just US-
we can work together to solve the great mystery of our own existance.
‘It’s just a ride’
Respect to the Pastafarians
These people are making their heaven sound like a REALLY COOL party that has a guest list and a long line outside… but then you get inside and… what the heck? No beer volcano? No strippers? Not even a keg and a Girls Gone Wild video? That’s just not right… I want to go to the party where you know the cops are going to come, so you’ve got to get wicked drunk in a hurry and make out with some strippers before the party gets broken up. THAT, my friends, is the kind of party you want to fight to get in to. (OMFSM, I ended my sentence with TWO prepostitions!)
Someone thank me for taking away the italics.
But you didn’t take away the italics! Thanks for trying, anyway. Check it out, though, it makes everything we say look REALLY important!!!
AAARRRRRRRRR!!!!!!
See?
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you’ve had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along
So a day when you’ve lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along
When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along
[fade out]
Thanks to Heather (heatherstar@msn.com) for these lyrics
[ www.plyrics.com ]
what a dick. why is that christians who are supposedly so full of love and compassion, are always so venimous? I’d like to see brian get into heaven while laughing at all of us. What would jesus think brian?
Addison: Yeah I’m not fully understanding that either. Some of them are saying your making a mistake, join us. Others are laughing at us that we’ll be in hell. And yet others are bitching at us. None of the three are right but atleast there’s a couple of polite haters out there. ^_^’
See, Jesus could not be real, he wouldn’t allow such acts against passion and peace take place, where as the FSM lets the hate against him take place because he has thousand’s of people at the ready to oppose every last word that is said in his name. RAmen.
P.S. I love being a pastafarian, our o holy sacred church keeps me engrossed and laughing for hours.
I didn’t take away the italics?? Damn. There go my illusions of being the messiah.
.
You know, they shouldn’t teach creationism to the unwashed masses, or evolution either for that matter. They should teach spelling and grammar. If they misspell a word, then they get slapped by a big wart-covered nun. It is a Christian rite of passage.
See that’s Catholics… I’ve known a lot of VERY well educated Catholics… and that’s because they DO get slapped by big wart-covered nuns! These are the Bible-belt, trailer park, barefoot-and-pregnant-style, breeding an army for Jesus, straight up fundamentalist Bible-thumpers. I know them well. To find them, you must visit the Super Wal-Mart on the first Sunday of the month… right after welfare checks are distributed, and right after church. Consider it a sociological field trip.