I seriously can’t wait to get into heaven! I can’t wait until I see you non-believers try to get in. I will seriously be laughing my ass off.
I can’t wait to be in heaven, watch you pitiful non-believers try to get in and watch Mary, the mother of Jesus, kick your asses all around the clouds. That will be my most awesome day.
-Brian Smith
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Oops - My point is this: Are using the learned and articulate responses of the several intelligent authors so you can be a better christian missionary?
It probably won’t work since it requires a complete lack of rationality.
You know what I don’t understand? It is that the religous fundamentalist spend so much time and energy trying to make others accept their beliefs. No doubt, when they manage this, I gives them some huge sense of self worth for “having saved a sinner from hell”
There are many practical things you can donate your time to, that not only will give a much greater sense of worthiness, but will actually make you worthy of that feeling.
A lot of people who need saving don’t need jeesus, they need food, shelter, medicine and education about how to aquire these things for themselves. So next time you are trying to convert some one ask yourself how you could be, better spending your time, practically helping those who don’t need a rulebook, but rather the basic tools of survival.
If you don’t like people, then maybe you could contribute to saving the enviroment which provides the nesscessities of life!
Honestly, the only reason for the bull terrior attempt to convert everyone is to make yourself feel elevated!
@nickiee
you mean that food, shelter, medicine, and education are more important than me, jesus christ.
no wonder gods angry, he’s angry that the world is finding other ways to be helpful to others. they are all heratics. blast those who choose food over me.
Gary,
.
I’m not going to argue religion with you. It would be a wasted effort. You are obviously thoroughly indoctrinated in the self sustaining lies of your faith. Bokonon would be proud of you.
.
I will only ask you one question. Why are you a Christian? By that I mean why not Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Buddhist or Sikh? Followers of each of these religions are just as dedicated to the supremecy of their religion as you are to your’s. Have you ever considered that the religion people choose is primarily the religion they were raised in? Funny how salvation is hereditary, isn’t it?
.
OEJ
Gary, you do know that religions atart out as a way of explaining the un-explainable and then are maintained as a tool of maintaining power. Don’t you?
Believe me, I’m involved in some up to the minute science and it doesn’t support hte story of creation in the book you read. Wouldn’t mind getting a hold of some of gods DNA though. No more AIDS or other diseases that kill millions of babies and little kids (not to mention adults) every day.
jesus christ
hahaha…..back in your box jeesus!
As well as religions being ‘tarts’ they start out as a way……………..
Gary
It seems a lot of the discussion here is either about trying to change one’s beliefs, or justifying one’s own. I don’t know. The best part of reading posts here is it’s got me thinking, and that’s always a good thing. I have no interest in trying to sway your beliefs, but I am very interested and somewhat confused in some issues regarding Christianity. I could never make a decision as important as one such as this if I had even a smidgen of doubt, I would not be true to myself. For the life of me however, I still have doubt. How do I extinguish doubt when I feel it so strongly in my mind and heart?
I’m very interested in your experiences with something that happens in your life where your christian beliefs and your faith fails to comfort? For instance, a young sister die, a father getting hit by a truck, a spouse dying and so forth. Do ambiguous concepts such as “god works in mysterious ways” or “It’s the will of god” truly comfort the untimely death of a family member?
Now be honest, when such an experience arises, how do you reconcile your true feelings and thoughts with your previous belief structure? What is the process?
What do you do when your intelligence and reasoning abilities inevitably question your faith? Honestly now, surely you’ve doubted and questioned what you’ve been taught at one time or another? What do you do?
How does the church handle change? What are the rules? Man, and his surroundings change through free will, the drive to understand and the drive to help one another . Call it science, logic, man’s thirst for knowledge, whatever, I don’t care. But throughout history the church has been confronted with incorporating new ideas into it’s “unchangeable” principles. It was finally accepted that the Earth does indeed rotate around the sun, we are not the center of the universe, as believed, and taught in the past.
Johannes Gutenberg kinda shook things up when he invented the printing press, and made books available to the masses. No longer did they have to rely on solely the preaching of a single voice or institution, they now could read and think discuss, and decide for themselves.
From wikipedia:
“The discovery and establishment of the printing of books with movable type marks a paradigm shift in the way information was transferred in Europe. The impact of printing is comparable to the development of writing, and the invention of the alphabet, as far as its effects on the society. Print did not achieve a position of total dominance, and handwritten manuscripts continued to be produced. The continuing influences of the printed word and oral communication on each other meant that no one form of communication could dominate.
Printing also was a factor in the establishment of a community of scientists (previously scientists were mostly isolated) who could easily communicate their discoveries, which had previously been communicted by personal letters, helping to bring on the scientific revolution”.
So my question, and I am honest when I say I really want to understand this, if the bible is the absolute truth, the word of god, does christianity change it’s beliefs ONLY if absolutely necessary? It seems to me that since the bible gets reinterpreted to accept these changes, then it’s not “written in stone” (pardon the pun), and the house of cards come falling down.
Maybe you could shed some light on these topics for me and help me out.
Take care
JL
BTW
Before anyone suggests I get some of gods DNA from the pasta section at the supermarket, I’ve checked and all of the pasta is processed in such a way that the DNA is denatured and of no use.
Gary—
Your posts are kind of difficult to understand. Crazy logic, anyone? But I’ll do my best.
—
“the pleasure is never enough to cover the pain.†Who are homosexuals hurting? No one dies, gets arrested, or….er….eats unhealthy food because two men decide they wanna make out somewhere. (Is unhealthy food ever mentioned in the bible!?) The species will not die out because not EVERYONE is homosexual.
“ same sex relations can not sustain life “—This is a common argument; it’s unnatural because no children can come of it. What about a woman who, for whaever reason, is infertile and can’t have children? Is she unnatural? Should she be banned from getting married? (At least I THINK that’s what you mean….considering homosexuals can live just as long as straight people…..)
“ Thank GOD he did not give them free willâ€â€¦â€¦I thought god GAVE us free will!
“if you beleive in evolution your god of natural selection would not allow it for one second!â€â€¦â€¦What god? There IS no god of natural selection. Natural selection is a science term, not a religion!
“the most high GOD creator of heaven and earth always looks at the best in us for just one small chance to LOVE YOU.”–Are you supposed to be an example of love, buddy? Because if so, you’re a pretty lousy example.
—
My advice? Get your nose out of your bible and open your eyes. People might like you more if you did.
Gary,
.
How about gods creature, you have Gay ducks, Dolphin’s like a bit of guy on guy action, Dogs, Cats, and these are just the animals that I know have homosexual relations.
.
Do you think that these gay ducks are going to suffer Gods Wraith?
.
Here is a link regarding bottlenose Gay dolphins, hope you enjoy it Gary.
.
http://www.worldpolicy.org/globalrights/sexorient/marine-gay.html
Actually after reading that page I just linked I am beginning to wonder if being heterosexual is normal.
DUDE! Let me start by saying i had no intentions of name calling and if thats the impression i gave im sorry a have a sarcastic sence of humor and type as slow as it gets so i try to shorten things up, and i forget the fact that yall don’t know me are my humer, first off evalution is a religion it starts with the big bang but no one knows where the energy came from and it goes against the laws of fisics and cant explain why we have planets moons and galaxies that spin in the wrong direction i beleive it was created by GOD but i cant tell where he came from ower planet is governed by the law of gravity i can beleive it are not but the evedence is undeniable. that is why i have tryed to learn as much as i can about different religions and actual evedence i wanted to know GOD not join a church and what i found was through the evedence it points to the GOD of the jews and as i studied it i found a GOD that promises to reveal his self to those who seek him and to test his word to see if it was true, just like most people all i ever herd was old testamemt law, but as i read and study i see more of an owners manual for life or the answers to a test before the test comes. The church through out history has used it to preach there message not gods message for instance they preace the wages of sin is death but it also says through sin death entered in to the world GODs plan for creation was to live in perfect peace, joy, health and happiness through out eternity with one rule, why i do not know, through out the bible GOD is trying to take his people to the promise land but they keep looking at what they can’t do insted of what GOD says they can do and he promises and proves what he can do and they still dont beleive him. What can a father do for his child if the child refuses help? wait and he has the GOD that revealed him self to me is a a GOD of hope, joy, peace, blessings and prosparity of this life as well as eternity and it did not require me to join any thing or change anything. looking at me you would not see a differance those that know me could probably tell you better than i can because they have seen what GOD has done in my life i can tell you of a GOD that delivered me from anger and depression and showed me how he would do it before he did it. I was told that with drugs and counceling i my be able to live with it but the GOD of the bible does not want us to live with unforgivness and anger, plus anger, hatered,and stress has been proven to shorten ower life span well the bible told us that a long time ago. washing ower hands is common place to us but in early days of surgery they killed as many sa they saved if not more through germs the sam guy that handeled the dead did surgery on the living and spread germs but thousands of years ago written in the book of LEVITICUS GOD told the people to become clean to wash with water and if you touch a dead body to wash with water and wait over night and you would be clean, a lot of this stuff the early church turned in to religion thats why JESUS asked why do you clean the out side of the pot but you do not clean the inside, saying why do you dress so nice when inside you are full of anger and judgement the bible is to be a mirror to veiw our own actions not a messuring stick for the church Tyndale did not die so we could read the bible in our own languedge he devoted his life to translating the bible so people of every nation could read it and know GOD for them selves and not be ruled by the church and as he burned at the stake his only words were GOD please open the kings eyes so the translation could be complete thats how we got the king james version and the few flaws it has the old testament has been proven through the dead sea scrolls to remain true and for the new testament you could destroy every bible ever made and still reconstuct all but 11 verses through the writtings of men that lived during are with in 100 years of the life of CHRIST from the earlyest writings around 70ad to the time of the printing press there is over 24000 copys in many differant languedges there is no other historical book better documented in history. but still the thing that maks me believe the most is GOD him self, nikkii you are correct about helping those in need, in LUKE 10:29 - 10:37 JESUS is taking to a lawer that is trying to justify his self and the end message is not who is worthy to be my neighbor but who am i willing to be a neighbor to. case in point, as i got ready for my dads funeral i had a question that would not leave my mind would you realy stop and help someone, even on the way to your dads funeral? i beleive was a challenge from satin, and half way there on the side of the road was two Mexicans if you knew me two years ago you would know why it was two Mexicans, the cool thing was none of us spoke the same languedge but we worked together like a Nascar pit crew, and when i got to the funeral they where just fixing to start and my dad was still dead so all went as planned. sorry for the humer but my dad would get a kick out of that so thats for you dad. as for the loss of a love one we are taught as children that all things are going to pass away its the one thing in life that you can not change, and the best reason to know if ther realy is a GOD a heaven and an eternity, because if the bible is wrong ive lost nothing and have lived a greater life in the few years of knowing GOD than i did in 30 years trying to do it my way, BUT if its true and i have no reason to doubt it is, well then you know the rest, thats why i wanted to know GOD not religion, as a matter of fact there are many preachers that would tell me im going to hell, and i read things in the bible that i dont want to hear, but the truth GOD has shown me is why my massage will not change, as for the death of children regaurdless of the cause will go straight to heaven and we will know them as we are known and yes animals to. there is no way i could answer ever question on the subject, but GOD can and will give you peace and understanding of all areas of your life, if a person is going to hell for being gay then i would have to beleive that so is every one that eats ham. but if we being unperfect parents can love our children regaurdless of what they have are have not done then what makes us think GOD being the creator of love and life would not love us unconditionaly.. Disclaimer, not resposable for spelling,grammer,punctuation or any other subject i flunked in school.
Wow Gary, they’ve certainly done a job on you. May I politely suggest, that, if you want to have a two way conversation (as opposed to just tryiong to force your own beliefs on all), make your posts a bit shorter and be open to disscussion. We have a lovely beer volcano which to sit around and casually discuss “life, the universe and everything”. In other words “discuss” rather than “tell”
RAmen
Social interaction. What a concept. How was your day nikkiee?
Busy. Working that little bit harder and faster so as to make a few spare minutes to pop in here now and again and share my words of …….um…er… well my two cents worth.
Don’t work too hard. Wouldn’t be the same without you. Now back to trying to make heads or tails of gary’s latest rant.
I’ve got to go and do some more work myself otherwise I’ll go through post reading/writing withdrawals tomorrow. It’s really distracting, when you are looking at the body’s immune system and genetics, while being aware that a lot of fundi christians are apparently oblivious that these things even exist. Just part of the big science conspiracy against them. Have fun with the post. I didn’t really have the time it would have taken me to try follow it. It think it says “the bible says so”
RAmen
You get honorable mention about 3/4 the way down for “helping those in need”. That should make your day. lol