I seriously can’t wait to get into heaven! I can’t wait until I see you non-believers try to get in. I will seriously be laughing my ass off.
I can’t wait to be in heaven, watch you pitiful non-believers try to get in and watch Mary, the mother of Jesus, kick your asses all around the clouds. That will be my most awesome day.
-Brian Smith
The Church is funded entirely by your purchases of FSM merchandise. Thank you for your support.
An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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probably not, for it would be the work of the devil. after all, god can’t be a spaghetti monster, right. i think otherwise
Ramen.
WHAT BETTER PLACE TO PREACE THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT SALVATION
“WHAT BETTER PLACE TO PREACE THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT SALVATION”
Oh, great.
We’ve all heard it all before and are not interested. Many here have been subjucted to religous training before they were old enough to decide for themselves.
Please, on the left side of your keyboard (bout half way up) is a caps lock key, press it and the caps lock light will go off. Then you don’t have to shout.
RAmen
Damn! Why is it that I just pop in for a sneaky sec and land smack bang on one of these posts?
RAmen
Gary:
Y’know that caps lock button on your keyboard? Press it. Turn the caps lock OFF. No one wants to read a rant when it’s all upper-case. Also, please be aware that we’ve all heard your arguments three billion times before. Seriously, you sound like you’re about to burst a blood vessel, chill out.
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By the way, if christanity works for you, then super. But it doesn’t for me–or most people here, I’d say–so get over yourself, please and thank you. Yeesh.
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(Still can’t figure out why you dislike homosexuality. ‘the bible says so’ is a crapjob excuse.)
I’M NOT LOOKING FOR SYMPATHY AND I HAVE NOTHING IN MY LIFE I WOULD CHANGE, IT’S WHAT MADE ME ME. I CAME ACCROSS THIS SITE STUDYING BIBLICAL ARCHEOLOGY AND WAS SORROWED BY THE GUY THAT THINKS HE WILL BE IN HEAVEN LAUGHING AND SAW A NEED FOR CLARIFACATION, HE WILL NOT BE THERE WITH THAT THOUGHT, FOR IT’S THE WILL OF GOD THAT ALL BE SAVED
“FOR IT’S THE WILL OF GOD THAT ALL BE SAVED”
Yes, it is the will of the great FSM and he has already saved us. His Noodliness loves us all.
I find it interesting that we are even judged by how we type one man says he saw me say and another says i sound like. Yet neither can see me are hear me yet you know I AM here are am i.
RAmen Gill
This God you worship is a right bastard, he , according to you, creates the world and the puts you all at risk just so as he can “Save you”.
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The FSM would never put us at risk to pander to his ego, and so we are not in need of saving in the first place.
.
You tell me who is the greater?
For crying out loud, have you ever read the Bible with a truly critical eye?! it’s horrific! it’s the beginning-to-end story of a tyrannical monster who contradicts itself, breaks its own laws at whim and takes absolutely zero responsability for its own creation! it exists outside of time, makinge ach one of us in turn, knowing from the very start that 99+% of everyone it ‘lovingly’ creates in its image is going to suffer in infinite agony for finite sins.
throughout the Bible,your loving “God” is repeatedly swayed by those who play to his ego (all those times the israelites were not destroyed only because Moses reminded God that doing so would break His promise to Abraham) and has cast aside his own “perfect” creations as if he was stepping in shit rather than messing with the lives of sentient, emotional human beings!
The God of the Bible is a murderer, a molester and a tyrant of the very worst kind, because He expects us to worship and love Him even though he holds himself to no standards or rules, not even his own. How many young children and unborn foetuses died at Soddom and Gamorrah? Why would God raze the Tower of Babel when it represented His creations’ greatest achievement of their own potential? All of these rediculous myths (including the miraculous life of Jesus which is nothing more than a conglomeration of pagan mythologies) are designed to appeal to the fearful and superstitious consciousness of bronze-age peasants, to keep women, foreigners and free-thinkers in line, to preserve a rotten theocratic system which thankfully has long since died. If having faith in something works for you, Gary, then great. But don’t come preaching your message here, where these fictional words hold no meaning. There is no ‘evidence’ of any of the supernatural Biblical occurances ever having taken place. there is no means of empiracally ratifying the existence of your fictional deity. believing in the literal truth of the Bible requires one to close one’s eeys in the face of insurmountable scientific evidence, and many among those of us who post here simply cannot do that.
Rant ended. Sorry i went on a bit, but i really am becoming convinced that Dawkins was right: the root of all evil lies in faith.
gill
Its not about likes and dislikes its about the price you pay for your actions. I thought i liked borrowing money, then came dept. I thought i liked drinking then came hangovers and im sorry, I thought i liked drugs and then came arrest, the pleasure is never enough to cover the pain. We, just like everything in nature was designed to live a specific way and eat specific food. I know of two places in the bible where GOD say these things are an abomination to him 1 is same sex relations and the other is eating unhealthy food, Why? Im glad you asked, he is the GOD of life and same sex relations can not sustain life, he is the GOD of creation unhealthy living and all other sin destroys, the devil comes to kill still and destroy, study any animal in creation they have to live a very presice life are their species will not survive. Thank GOD he did not give them free will are this planet would have perished long ago, and if you beleive in evolution your god of natural selection would not allow it for one second! but the most high GOD creator of heaven and earth always looks at the best in us for just one small chance to LOVE YOU .
Hommo
Actualy ive studied it for a few years trying to find the loop hole that allows me to sin freely just as yall have made your on god to fit what you want to do GOD has the right to do what ever he wishes with his creation its his creation and the bible can be backed by science, history, archaeology are mabee your right and all the leading scientest in the world is wrong but i would be willing to bet 90 percent of the world has herd of JESUS and have no idea who this is that you follow but then again JESUS only had a 3 year ministry and has only been gone for 2 thousand and changed more lifes in the time it took you to read this than any man on earth to day but who knows give it a littel time and mabee people will foget. NOT!
@gary
wow, god kind of sucks then! i mean, sure i know you had a troubled life, but maybe your just a failure. so you say god will hate me for believing (actually, knowing about) evolution as the way life originated. man, if that’s the true love of god then god truly sucks. you kind of sound like a bigot that uses religion to make yourself look cool because you were an alcoholic and a drug addict (sorry, but you admitted it). i don’t think someone who is gay would take kindly to you. fuck you. oh yea, sex is fun.
Ah, the old “sex only for procreation” lesson. So, no sex for you unless you produce life, fella! No condoms, no birth control, no sex except during ovulation, no homosexual sex, nada. Sounds pretty damn boring to me! Not to mention dangerous…
Oh, and animals have free will. And, human beings are animals. Go back to your 12 Step program and get well.
Gary…
“Nothing you can’t spell will ever work.”—Will Rogers
Communication skills are essential in getting your message across. One would think that would be obvious.
oh how hate blinds one from the truth but then again the bible told me so. good luck and spank you spank you very much ive had fun with my new friends and yall have further proven what the word of GOD has said for thousands of years,if i have time later ill come back and amuse you a little more. Love Gary
Regarding GARY ( who now has learned proper capitalization) and his “God’s gonna gitchu” spiel. I remember when an evangelic preacher came on our campus to ’spread the word of god’ to the heathen undergrads. It was like he wanted to pick a fight to see how good a response he could come back with. When he didn’t have an answer, he babbled off a minute or two of ’speaking in tongues’. At that point I figured out he was merely refining his craft of preaching by throwing himself into the den of iniquity, and when he was stumped, babbled bullshit noises. What I though was more interesting was his interest in my rather buxom companion. You simply could not notice, but she wasn’t wearing anything revealing, nonetheless her breasts were obviously present.
Anyway, he condemed her as a brazon hussy, a harlot of babylon and all the other uncool name-calling christians are noted for.
As he was, and so are you, Gary, a complete and unequivocal sphintor.
I hope this didn’t get post twice. Dang Zone Lab firewall…
your right gary, we should all be friends. and as friends, we should ask each other questions. hey gary, what’s it like to be molested. what’s it like to have your mother commit suicide. what’s it like to have grown up in an alcoholic family. come on gary, we’re all friends, can you tell us. after all, it’s what jesus would do. love the sinner, hate the sin.