Hey Pirate…

Published August 19th, 2006 by Bobby Henderson

The only Pirate you are is a BUTT PIRATE….butt plugging parrots too!

You and your group of sick, misguided, ugly, half-witted, inbred, drugged up, hippie friends really need a good ass beating. When my deployment of catching drug runners ends in South

America, and I return to San Diego, CA, why don’t we meet somewhere? You bring your freaks…um, I mean “friends”, and I’ll bring my friends. We’ll have a nice little discussion…….

However, before we meet I suggest you fill out a last will and testament……..



122 Responses to “Hey Pirate…”

  1. OMG He's Jewish! says:

    You’re just jealous because we have so many periods at the ends of our sentences!

    But seriously, you have to go out and buy ‘Name Calling for Butt Pirates’. Your insults suck Butt Pirate! One thing you don’t get is that we treat Hate Mail like I treat nails. We eat it all up. You’re truly the Lord of Butt Plugging Pirate Parrots.

    “If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning”

  2. Curtis says:

    “You’re truly the Lord of Butt Plugging Pirate Parrots.”

    Posted by: OMG He’s Jewish! | August 20, 2006 at 08:39 PM

    Uh, nice try, shitstain. It was funny the FIRST time it was posted. Congratulations, however. You just got voted “most redundant, plagarized, boring message of the year”. Your award? A life of misguided teachings, butt ramming, and brainwashings from your fellow buttpirates(your cohorts), dumb ass….

    In your case, if you are what you suck, then you’re a COCK!

  3. Garanook says:

    Honestly, do people actually write this hate mail with the belief that it will be taken seriously?

  4. LMNOP says:

    So you’re saying that the teachings of FSM are misguided but your religion says it’s cool to wish rape and violence on anonymous people? Oh, and Go Homophobia!

  5. LMNO says:

    I get it now, you really like fantasising about hot men, preferably straight, fucking each other up the ass. You can’t have it in your real life so your fantasy world has to do. You especially like when these straight men in homoerotic situations are mad at you and in fear of a beating if they don’t fuck each other just right so after you get off your BDSM gay porn site, you head over to the FSM message boards to see if anybody bites on your fantasy.

    Is that about right? You really should just come out of the closet and get it over with because this seems self-destructive.

  6. klem says:

    This is funny to see how people slash you because you had a funny idea of exposing a dangerous issue (ID)…..What shocks me is that these “love jesus” guys are really narrow minded…I mean, when you go down to it and view this on a mythological level, a guy claiming he’s the son of god and that his mother is virgin committing suicide to repent the humanity of its sins is as valid as a FSM creating the universe….As well as this wacko cult (don’t remember the name) that got all of its member kill themselv to reincarnated in another dimesion….It’s a matter of opinion….people claiming they have “The truth” are the most dangerous on earth….”The truth” usually being their own thy pathetically try to push on others….

  7. Peter says:

    Hahaha, yeah, ok YOU’RE chasing drug runners. A threat? Oh nos!! And what’s more, he’s posting under different names to make it look like he’s got a posse! Woe is me! Man, I would love to meet you, if only to vent my frustration that a website like this is even necessary (don’t get me wrong, the FSM is great, but the fact that there’s even a debate about whether to teach ID in schools… come on). Maybe I can beat some sense into you in the process.

  8. Dino says:

    The Glorious Flying Spaghetti Monster spoke with me last night and he assured me that we have no reason to fear the submitter of this particular piece of FSM hate mail. He then asked me to act as his prophet and spead the word to my fellow Pirates, in his name.

    I believe that this seals the deal and that 2 acre lot wedged between the beer volcano and the stripper factory is finally mine! YES!

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