What is with this gimmick and putting a spaghetti monster on a Christmas tree? That is what spouted me off. Oh yes, people put their pets on as decorations now and now, a spaghetti monster for a tree topper? Say what? What is with the emails? What? You can’t read?
I am mad. That is why statues of Mary weep. You don’t know me from Adam, but where I come from the spaghetti monster on top of a tree is just WRONG. Anyhow, I pray for miracles like the Drew St. miracle.
I am sung about on the radio…HER COLORS ARE BLUE AND GRAY>>EVERYONE LAUGHS AT HER
Christmas was 8 months ago… And why does this guy care? christmas started as a pagan tradition.
Honestly, this guy needs to be more pissed off that his Christmas tree (and the rest of the holiday) originates from a Pagan ritual.
What a mess. What was the whole thing about the “I am sung about on the radio”?
**Perplexed.**
if jesus loved you he’d give you meds
My my! The war on the war on christmas is coming earlier all the time! It’s not even Labor Day yet! Jeremiah in the bible came down on those fancy pagan trees here:
Jeremiah 10:2-4: “Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.” (KJV).
I think the use of angels is pretty weird too. The angels of myth (the bible) are not cute and pretty girls. They are males, and they are badass and terrifying.
On the other hand, I am glad to learn just why it is that the statues of Mary weep. It’s been a puzzler up to now.
great gonads of brown magic, batman!
You know, the Christians would be so much more compelling if so many of them didn’t come off sounding like they were dropping acid prior to pounding out their hate mails. Maybe I haven’t had enough caffeine this morning, but that letter made zero sense. I am convinced that the words could be randomly shuffled about into a new letter and it would make an equal amount of sense to me.
By the way, Mr. Christian, on behalf of all the pagans out there, we want our Yule trees out of your homes. And for goodness sake, quit celebrating Samhain (Halloween) and Eostre (Easter) for the candy. Show some integrity and get your own holy days - we’re tired of you appropriating ours. Cheers!
Huh? Can someone translate that rant?
I said it before and I’ll say it again - It does not matter what you *think* you’re typing, the Flying Spaghetti Monster will use His Noodly Appendage to scramble your email into a bunch of non-sense.
People put their pets on top of christmas trees as decoration? What? That disturbs me a little…
I think the key sentance in this email is “I am mad.” It’s telling that “mad” was used instead of the more obvious choice, “angry”. It seems like halfway through the e-mail the writer has actually decided that he or she IS the Virgin Mary, and hence that whole “I am sung about on the radio” bit. Perhaps that is the real reason the Virgin Mary statues weep… Identity theft sucks.
“What? You can’t read?”
Can someone translate what he’s saying to me? I can’t read ’cause I’m illiterate.
>_>
Having read the other three, I can only come to the conclusion that they’re using a random letter generator now.
You really should consider checking into a sanatorium if you think your post made any sense what so ever. I agree you are quite mad, totally and completely insane; either that or just too stupid & closed minded to understand the point of the FSM. If you want reverence for anything how about our reverence for the idealism of the FSM - the fact that creationism does NOT belong in public schools being taught to our children as science.
Probably the best part of this letter is that it made absolutely no sense.
Dont start typing up random letters when you have’nt even leared the basics when it comes to writing a letter.
another lunatic, come to send funny and random emails to all those devoted pastafarians out there
Ramen
What bleeding crap radio station does he/she listen to?
oh that song! yeah he’s the baddest man in the whole damn town..everybody!..badder than a ol’ king kong, meaner than a junkyard dog..whoa! evidently he has a thing for or against jim croce as well.
I though it was just a headache but after reading this one my head has exploded.
I beleive one must actually make an effort at being so irrational, this can not be an accident but rather proof that children should not eat lead paint chips.
Can anyone say heavy metal poisoning?
Wow. /now/ I remember why i gave up all songs with lyrics…
ho ho ho?
One thing about this…Christmas trees have nothing to do with Christianity. If memory serves me right, they were appropriated by the…Dutch? (please set me right bout that, i have no idea) from a pagan religion. Anyway, they are only a symbol of the commercialised Christmas, not the religious one.
=D
this is probably the worst comment i have ever laid eyes upon
i read it and my head exploded halfway through, and then i had to jam a spoon up my ass to stop the email from singing a song that doesnt exist
“By the way, Mr. Christian, on behalf of all the pagans out there, we want our Yule trees out of your homes. And for goodness sake, quit celebrating Samhain (Halloween) and Eostre (Easter) for the candy.”
Agreed! You must head the one about Holloween that the x-tians made up last year… I don’t have the pamplet anymore, but it was pretty funny and strained. Lamest story I ever heard:
[sarcasim: on]
As a brief summary of it goes, long time ago Holloween got its name from the day before it being All Saint’s Day. As the day before it (oct 31) was an “eve” of this “Hollow” or “Holy” day, it was called Hollowed Eve… but of course as we all know, “eve” is interchangable with “ween”. So there is how “holloween” got its name. Now for the rest of the explaination (Paul Harvey would call the next paragraph “The rest of the story”).
People “who loved Jesus” would go and follow a tradition that dictated that they should light candles in their windows and give food to the poor and homeless who would knock at their doors. Children excited to see the beggars would stay up and peek out the windows to watch the scavengers as their parents handed out food. Now, some of these poor people didn’t “love Jesus” so they would make scary faces at the children and wear scary clothing and make up. It wasn’t very nice to scare the children “who love jesus”.
Nowadays People “who love Jesus” are supposed to give out candy to the scary non-believers in good faith and love to prove they are not afraid of Satan.
[sarcasim: off]
Quit stealing our holidays and make up your own or at least celebrate it for the original reason! I talked like a pirate all day (except in this post, yarr) for the FSM, not for my pagan religion.
And have y’all noticed that Catholicism is Roman Mythology draped in Christian covering? Why else do we pray to the saints and constantly canonize people, just in case we get tired of praying to the other 1,000 or so saints…because they’re lesser “gods” and have to intercede with the Big Bad Scary Vengeance God.
There’s a reason for everyone laughing at you.