The only Pirate you are is a BUTT PIRATE….butt plugging parrots too!
You and your group of sick, misguided, ugly, half-witted, inbred, drugged up, hippie friends really need a good ass beating. When my deployment of catching drug runners ends in South
America, and I return to San Diego, CA, why don’t we meet somewhere? You bring your freaks…um, I mean “friends”, and I’ll bring my friends. We’ll have a nice little discussion…….
However, before we meet I suggest you fill out a last will and testament……..
And you differ from Muslim extremists how? Threatening to kill anyone who doesn’t believe the same as you is a huge part of the worlds problems. Tollerance is a good thing, learn it.
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And if I decide not to go? Dumbass.
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Freeks are so much cooler than the normal people.
Gimme a freak any day of the week.
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Ahhhh, that’s sweet. A good ol’ fashion beating – just what one needs after using free will, logic, and reason, to form a view of the world. I look forward to the ‘conversion’ offered by you. Will your organization have a name, or will you operate in secrecy, like a ‘terrorist’?
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Hey, does it not read like this phrase:
“However, before we meet I suggest you fill out a last will and testament…”
… constitutes a death treat??
Is that extreme or what? Not the phrase, but that kind of “little discussion… about one´s idea of a joke…
I would like that, to have “little discussions…” with all the people I don’t like…
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Of course you won’t show up. What’s the matter, your little “spaghetti monster” won’t protect you? Of course not, for it does not exist. However, God is always on my side and protects me.
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Homophobic bravado. How comforting to think that people like you are all that stands between us regular Americans and.. wait, who are the bad guys again? I though the bad guys were the ones that hated us for our freedom to think and believe in what we choose.
Perhaps you should move to a less progressive country, where your death threats and obsession with asses and beatings would be the norm.
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“Of course you won’t show up. What’s the matter, your little “spaghetti monster” won’t protect you? Of course not, for it does not exist. However, God is always on my side and protects me.”
Because when a dude threatens to kill you on the internet, you HAVE to go meet them, to protect your honour on the field of battle.
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“Perhaps you should move to a less progressive country, where your death threats and obsession with asses and beatings would be the norm.”
Posted by: Wulf | August 19, 2006 at 10:32 PM
And perhaps you should move to a NON-CHRISTIAN country such as Iran, because obviously you do not belong in a christian country such as America.
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“Because when a dude threatens to kill you on the internet, you HAVE to go meet them, to protect your honour on the field of battle.”
Posted by: rastilin | August 20, 2006 at 03:02 AM
Nobody threatened to kill anyone on here. I think you have too many of those noodles stuck in between your ears, and up your ass.
You need to learn about freedom of speech. Or, does that only count when you fuckheads are talking about some childish spaghetti monster? Grow up, you little children.
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“And perhaps you should move to a NON-CHRISTIAN country such as Iran, because obviously you do not belong in a christian country such as America.”
You are aware, are you not, that the founding fathers left the old world, and formed the new to escape religious persecution. The freedom to believe in any religion one chooses, or none at all, is the reason America is.
Iran would be more suited to you, as a religious fundementalist with little or no tolerance for the beliefs (or lack thereof) of others.
Irony is a bitch.
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OK guy of many names but one ass beating, lets go over what you’re saying. (I’m lumping all the macho posts together even though it might be more than one person).
First there was the thing where a will was required for a meeting with you. But that is not a death threat? Really? Are you just generally conncerned about people who don’t prepare wills? Are you concerned that their loved ones won’t be cared for?
Then there’s the fact that you’ll beat some ass if people have a different opinion than you. But everyone else needs lessons in freedom of speech? Because obviously freedom of speech includes destroying those who disagree with you. That’s why the second amendment comes right after the first.
“Non-Christian country.” Wait. I thought that the US was technically a religionless country. No official religion and all that so that the people who came here can worship snakes in the name of Yahweh or whatever.
Haven’t you been able to tell by now that this is more a atheist parody of the idiocy of fundamentalist sects of Christianity forcing their way into our govenment and forcing our children to be a bit more stupid? That’s kinda why the people who founded this country were afraid to form a national religion. You know, like in Iran where children don’t learn what their Muslim government doesn’t want them to. (And we don’t want this crap taught inpublic schools, we don’t neccisarily care if it gets taught elsewhere, we aren’t banning books here.)
Yes his holy noodlyness is childish but it’s sometimse fun to believe in childish things when they have more adult meanings behind them.
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“Nobody threatened to kill anyone on here.”
“However, before we meet I suggest you fill out a last will and testament……”
If that is not a threat of bodily harm, what is it, friendly legal advice? Christian concern for the well being of family?
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Again this happens.
“..Or, does that only count when you fuckheads are talking about some childish spaghetti monster?”
So why is it childish when we belive in god, but when you do, it makes perfect sense?
The point of this is to point out that all religeons are flawed, and a flying spaghetti monster makes about the same level of sense as this thing called “God”
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Butt pirate?
Then you, Sir, are a TWAT. I demand satisfaction. No, wait, my Mother always told me it was unfair to pick on mouth-breathers.
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So your an unintelligent border patrol monkey? That explains a lot.
I have heard better threats on here, i.e. like “I am going to shove an oar up your ass” boy. Be a little more createive next time you try to insult us you unevolved Neanderthal.
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You’re just jealous because we have so many periods at the ends of our sentences!
But seriously, you have to go out and buy ‘Name Calling for Butt Pirates’. Your insults suck Butt Pirate! One thing you don’t get is that we treat Hate Mail like I treat nails. We eat it all up. You’re truly the Lord of Butt Plugging Pirate Parrots.
“If you are what you eat, I could be you by morning”
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“You’re truly the Lord of Butt Plugging Pirate Parrots.”
Posted by: OMG He’s Jewish! | August 20, 2006 at 08:39 PM
Uh, nice try, shitstain. It was funny the FIRST time it was posted. Congratulations, however. You just got voted “most redundant, plagarized, boring message of the year”. Your award? A life of misguided teachings, butt ramming, and brainwashings from your fellow buttpirates(your cohorts), dumb ass….
In your case, if you are what you suck, then you’re a COCK!
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Honestly, do people actually write this hate mail with the belief that it will be taken seriously?
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So you’re saying that the teachings of FSM are misguided but your religion says it’s cool to wish rape and violence on anonymous people? Oh, and Go Homophobia!
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I get it now, you really like fantasising about hot men, preferably straight, fucking each other up the ass. You can’t have it in your real life so your fantasy world has to do. You especially like when these straight men in homoerotic situations are mad at you and in fear of a beating if they don’t fuck each other just right so after you get off your BDSM gay porn site, you head over to the FSM message boards to see if anybody bites on your fantasy.
Is that about right? You really should just come out of the closet and get it over with because this seems self-destructive.
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This is funny to see how people slash you because you had a funny idea of exposing a dangerous issue (ID)…..What shocks me is that these “love jesus” guys are really narrow minded…I mean, when you go down to it and view this on a mythological level, a guy claiming he’s the son of god and that his mother is virgin committing suicide to repent the humanity of its sins is as valid as a FSM creating the universe….As well as this wacko cult (don’t remember the name) that got all of its member kill themselv to reincarnated in another dimesion….It’s a matter of opinion….people claiming they have “The truth” are the most dangerous on earth….”The truth” usually being their own thy pathetically try to push on others….
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Hahaha, yeah, ok YOU’RE chasing drug runners. A threat? Oh nos!! And what’s more, he’s posting under different names to make it look like he’s got a posse! Woe is me! Man, I would love to meet you, if only to vent my frustration that a website like this is even necessary (don’t get me wrong, the FSM is great, but the fact that there’s even a debate about whether to teach ID in schools… come on). Maybe I can beat some sense into you in the process.
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The Glorious Flying Spaghetti Monster spoke with me last night and he assured me that we have no reason to fear the submitter of this particular piece of FSM hate mail. He then asked me to act as his prophet and spead the word to my fellow Pirates, in his name.
I believe that this seals the deal and that 2 acre lot wedged between the beer volcano and the stripper factory is finally mine! YES!
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Mouth-breathing Ass-hat wrote:
“Uh, nice try, shitstain. ”
Reminds me of the Beattitudes, when Jesus said, “How blessed are the shitstains: for they shall inherit the beer volcano.”
Or if that one was too subtle, Curt, how about what Ghandi said: “I like your Christ, but I don’t like your Christians: they are so unlike your Christ.”
:-P
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You know the great thing about belief amoung the low brow masses? (. . . I don’t want to stereotype, but picture a guy with a fondness for velvet Elvisi and Truck pulls. . . ) It’s the fact that anyone that doesn’t believe what they believe that person is automatically wrong, stupid, and should be forced to believe what they believe. I love how most religious debates typically end in a Christian spouting explitives.
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‘Uh, nice try, shitstain. It was funny the FIRST time it was posted. Congratulations, however. You just got voted “most redundant, plagarized, boring message of the year”. Your award? A life of misguided teachings, butt ramming, and brainwashings from your fellow buttpirates(your cohorts), dumb ass….’
I get you. You hate me because I’m Jewish; and thusly, assuming from the stereotype of ‘Jews and Pastafarians always make more money’, you are jealous of my chosen people powers. Moses pwns Jesus anyday.
Let’s give this one more shot: ‘If you are what you eat, you’re obviously a sack of shit and a dildo.’
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anyone that believes in religion seriously needs to take a look at their views carefully and rationally. cos im a better man moving on to better things!
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I would like to respond to the original post: Not everyone who has deployed to South America in order to catch violent maritime drug traffickers wants to beat up freaks. Some of us just want to tickle their cuddly under-chins. (Tickle, tickle.) And some (well at least myself) of us have a FSM symbol on the back of our vehicles, where they thwart evil with every puff of exhaust.
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This reminds me of the kind of thing a homophobe would say after getting hit on on MySpace by a gay kid. (Not saying that’s ever happened…) :-P
However, you should go. He said bring your friends, so you should gather the million or so Pastafarians to a meeting place and meet this asshole and his three friends somewhere and lynch him.
I bet he has a pencildick.
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It truly shows the maturity levels of the users here that even a religious debate turns into an argument over who is gay and who has the bigger penis. I’m sure God and Spaghetti Monster are incredibly proud of you all…
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Can I do something to feel superior to everyone else in this conversation. I really want to break new realms of superiority, ’cause it seems that so many different types have been used here.
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AHAHA
Seriously some of you just crack me up… i cannot believe there are a bunch of idiots who took the FSM thing seriously instead of realising from the start that this is just a damn funny joke.. something designed and destined to be funny.. like say a YTMND.. this is just a parody people.. just sit back.. read and laugh… -_-
As for you religious fanatics who preach and force your beliefs to everyone you encounter… you should learn to grow up and respect other peoples thoughts and ideals… and Yes im a christian catholic… i believe in god… but im not obsessed by all the damn teachings in the bible.. some of em just dont sound right to me.. hell most of that shit are just stories intended on teaching life lessons.. Also.. i completely respect someone who doesnt believe in the same thing i do… one of my fav TV hosts.. John Stewart… is jewish.. and it doesnt affect me one bit… and i find buddhists to be very pleasent people! i dont care what people believe as long as they are good and kind natrued people… in my opinion.. the only requirment to go to heaven if there is one.. is to be a good person overall in life.. not perfect but good…
So yeah… dont bitch at this dude for having made up FSM.. he did it to make you laugh so enjoy the show… and religious fanatics.. stop imposing and start respecting…
Oh and note to all you haters… you have just been pwned by CANADA
Mouhahaha
Have a good evening everyone ^_^
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yeah…since when are rednecks allowed on the internet, wait a minute SINCE when can a redneck USE the internet. my god theyre getting smarter!!!! WE ARE DOOMED OH NOES!!!1!!eleven!!!one!
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Yup
i think youre right were doomed :O:O XD
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wow, that’s worthy of ‘Fundies Say the Darndest Things”!
http://fstdt.com/
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The Preambles of all 50 States Of The United States:
Alabama 1901, Preamble. We the people of the State of Alabama, invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish the following Constitution.
Alaska 1956, Preamble. We, the people of Alaska, grateful to God and to those who founded our nation and pioneered this great land.
Arizona 1911, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Arizona, grateful to Almighty God for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution…
Arkansas 1874, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Arkansas, grateful to Almighty God for the privilege of choosing our own form of government…
California 1879, Preamble . We, the People of the State of California, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom.
Colorado 1876, Preamble. We, the people of Colorado, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of Universe.
Connecticut 1818, Preamble. The People of Connecticut, acknowledging with gratitude the good Providence of God in permitting them to enjoy.
Delaware 1897, Preamble. Through Divine Goodness all men have, by nature, the rights of worshipping and serving their Creator according to the dictates of their consciences.
Florida 1885, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Florida, grateful to Almighty God for our constitutional liberty, establish this Constitution…
Georgia 1777, Preamble . We, the people of Georgia, relying upon protection and guidance of Almighty God, do ordain and establish this Constitution…
Hawaii 1959, Preamble . We, the people of Hawaii, Grateful for Divine Guidance .. Establish this Constitution.
Idaho 1889, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Idaho, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings.
Illinois 1870, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Illinois, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
Indiana 1851, Preamble. We, the People of the State of Indiana, grateful to Almighty God for the free exercise of the right to choose our form of government.
Iowa 1857, Preamble We, the People of the State of Iowa, grateful to the Supreme Being for the blessings hitherto enjoyed, and feeling our dependence on Him for a continuation of these blessings establish this Constitution.
Kansas 1859, Preamble. We, the people of Kansas, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious privileges establish this Constitution.
Kentucky 1891, Preamble. We, the people of the Commonwealth are grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties…
Louisiana 1921, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Louisiana, grateful to Almighty God for the civil, political and religious liberties we enjoy.
Maine 1820, Preamble. We the People of Maine acknowledging with grateful hearts the goodness of the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe in affording us an opportunity .. And imploring His aid and direction.
Maryland 1776, Preamble We, the people of the state of Maryland, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberty…
Massachusetts 1780, Preamble . We…the people of Massachusetts, acknowledging with grateful hearts, the goodness of the Great Legislator of the Universe .. In the course of His Providence, an opportunity and devoutly imploring His direction ..
Michigan 1908, Preamble .. We, the people of the State of Michigan, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of freedom establish this Constitution.
Minnesota, 1857, Preamble. We, the people of the State of Minnesota, grateful to God for our civil and religious liberty, and desiring to perpetuate its blessings:
Mississippi 1890, Preamble. We, the people of Mississippi in convention assembled, grateful to Almighty God, and invoking His blessing on our work.
Missouri 1845, Preamble . We, the people of Missouri, with profound reverence for the Supreme Ruler of the Universe, and grateful for His goodness . Establish this Constitution
Montana 1889, Preamble. We, the people of Montana, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty establish this Constitution …
Nebraska 1875, Preamble. We, the people, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom .. Establish this Constitution.
Nevada 1864, Preamble. We the people of the State of Nevada, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom establish this Constitution .
New Hampshire 1792, Part I. Art. I. Sec. V. Every individual has a natural and unalienable right to worship God according to the dictates of his own conscience.
New Jersey 1844, Preamble. We, the people of the State of New Jersey, grateful to Almighty God for civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing on our endeavors.
New Mexico 1911, Preamble. We, the People of New Mexico, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of liberty
New York 1846, Preamble . We, the people of the State of New York, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, in order to secure its blessings.
North Carolina 1868, Preamble. We the people of the State of North Carolina, grateful to Almighty God, the Sovereign Ruler of Nations, for our civil, political, and religious liberties, and acknowledging our dependence upon Him for the continuance of those
North Dakota 1889, Preamble. We , the people of North Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, do ordain…
Ohio 1852, Preamble. We the people of the state of Ohio, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, to secure its blessings and to promote our common
Oklahoma 1907, Preamble . Invoking the guidance of Almighty God, in order to secure and perpetuate the blessings of liberty … establish this ..
Oregon 1857, Bill of Rights, Article I. Section 2. All men shall be secure in the Natural right, to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their consciences..
Pennsylvania 1776, Preamble We, the people of Pennsylvania, grateful to Almighty God for the blessings of civil and religious liberty, and humbly invoking His guidance
Rhode Island 1842, Preamble. We the People of the State of Rhode Island grateful to Almighty God for the civil and religious liberty which He hath so long permitted us to enjoy, and looking to Him for a blessing
South Carolina, 1778, Preamble. We, the people of he State of South Carolina grateful to God for our liberties, do ordain and establish this Constitution.
South Dakota 1889, Preamble. We, the people of South Dakota, grateful to Almighty God for our civil and religious liberties
Tennessee 1796, Art. XI.III. That all men have a natural and indefeasible right to worship Almighty God according to the dictates of their conscience…
Texas 1845, Preamble. We the People of the Republic of Texas, acknowledging, with gratitude, the grace and beneficence of God.
Utah 1896, Preamble. Grateful to Almighty God for life and liberty, we establish this Constitution.
Vermont 1777, Preamble . Whereas all government ought to enable the individuals who compose it to enjoy their natural rights, and other blessings which the Author of Existence has bestowed on man .
Virginia 1776, Bill of Rights, XVI Religion, or the Duty which we owe our Creator can be directed only by Reason and that it is the mutual duty of all to practice Christian Forbearance, Love and Charity towards each other .
Washington 1889, Preamble. We the People of the State of Washington, grateful to the Supreme Ruler of the Universe for our liberties, do ordain this Constitution
West Virginia 1872, Preamble. Since through Divine Providence we enjoy the blessings of civil, political and religious liberty, we, the people of West Virginia reaffirm our faith in and constant reliance upon God …
Wisconsin 1848, Preamble. We, the people of Wisconsin, grateful to Almighty God for our freedom, domestic tranquility
Wyoming 1890, Preamble . We, the people of the State of Wyoming, grateful to God for our civil, political, and religious liberties .. establish this Constitution.
After reviewing acknowledgments of God from all 50 state constitutions, one is faced with the prospect that ACLU, FSM, and the out-of-control federal courts are wrong!
Please note that at no time is anyone told that they MUST worship God.
“Those people who will not be governed by God will be ruled by tyrants.” – William Penn
GOD BLESS AMERICA
I DON’T SEE THE SPAGHETTI MONSTER’S NAME ANYWHERE IN THESE CONSTITUTIONS!!!
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You are a very sad person. Why should I go anyways? Give me an ass beating? How? over the Internet? Ouch.
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Ty is right… you know.. youre either truely pathetic… or you didnt read a word of what i said… the whole FSM thing is just a fucking joke… youre not gonna convince anyone with this bullshit ammendment youre showing us… yeah yeah i know they wrote thos in the name of god.. whoopty do…. i believe in the same god you do but i sitll dont care what the fuck the citizens of this world believe in… be it buddhism christianity judaism or friggen scientology.. i just dont care… if the people are good at heart thats all that matters… the creator of this FSM thing only did a friggen joke to prove a point… he does NOT believe the world was actually created by a flying spaghetti monster and isnt trying to convince us to believe in it to… hes just trying to use a joke to prove a point in a certain controversi (ID) and thats that… now wake up people and stop with the bullshit zealing…
and by the way… the fact that every single american admendment for every single damn state has been written with the christian gods name in it well…. i dont give 2 shits about it… im canadian and proud of it… i worship attacking beavers, God without imposing anyone to do so, the maple leaf and super fast internet that blows yours away in terms of speed and price… so religious brainwashing using fucking US admendments wont affect me…
and… for christs sake… stop pushing religion on people who dont need it.. especially if its to protest against something thats in fact.. just a big fucking joke… grow up you dumbass kids!!
Now im done.. and now i command you all to join Foamy’s Card Cult… Mouhahaha (im kidding -_-)
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‘There are two types of people: Those who say to God, “Thy will be done”, and those to whom God says, “All right then, have it your way.”‘
C.S.Lewis
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Daddy….. I see fundies….. They don’t even know that they’re fundie….. They just walk around, hating on innocent people……
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to Sam and marieanne
Good quotes seriously !!
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And exactly how long ago were those constitutions written? I thought that we were supposed to be advancing into a bright new age of tolerance. Yes, worship your God, but dont assume that you are better than everyone else because of it. Didnt your God tell you to be humble?
And to every evolutionist/FSMist who presumes himself or herself better than others because of his or her belief, doesnt that make you the things you hate?
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suul matuul
i completely agree with you… well said… sadly most people dont seem to be able to grasp this simple way of being tolerant… i personally dont see why religion should affect about what we think of people.. we should judge people based on their personality not their beliefs…
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Re: preambles of all 50 states
And yet:
“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof…”
…but hey, nice try.
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> “Why should I go anyways? Give me an ass beating? How? over the Internet?”
Yeah, it doesn’t work unless you have the plugin installed.
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Finally! See, if the rest of you morons would just admit it like that Canadian idiot did, about the FSM being FAKE, and the real Christian God as the only TRUE God, you would all be woken up to the truth. For the retards that want to say that, “Oh, it happened in the past, who cares what a bunch of founding fathers said”. Well, have you ever heard of “forgetting the past, and repeating it?” A country that turns its back on God will fail. Look at our country now how it is decaying from the inside out. Taking prayer out of school, banning the 10 commandments, etc. Teaching condom use instead of abstinance. We sure could learn a lot from our history. WAKE UP AMERICA! Get back to our roots!!! Again, look at history. And look at our constitution where there was no referrence to Buddah, and there certainly was no signatures with the name Muhammad. Freedom of religion in America is forms of Christianity (catholic, protestant, etc.) Wake up to the facts!!!
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Ty is right… again:
Where did you get the idea “that Canadian idiot” was on your side? He’s trying to encourge us all to be tolerant…
you are not being tolerant, you are being bigoted.
You are being exactly the kind of American that the rest of the world is starting to hate. You are severely letting your nation down.
Stop and think a little broader, just for a second… please.
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“Ty is right… again:
Where did you get the idea “that Canadian idiot” was on your side? He’s trying to encourge us all to be tolerant…
you are not being tolerant, you are being bigoted.
You are being exactly the kind of American that the rest of the world is starting to hate. You are severely letting your nation down.
Stop and think a little broader, just for a second… please.”
Posted by: marieanne | August 25, 2006 at 01:00 AM
Listen Toots,
I didn’t say anything about the Canadian dude being on “my side”. However, he WAS RIGHT when he said the FSM is fake. And you know what else? I could really give 2 shits about what other countries think of the USA. Why? Because they are JEALOUS. That’s the bottom line. I have been to 26 different countries and all of the people their bow to me when they found out I was an American. They would do anything to get to the USA. So, until you leave your trailer park and go out and see “the rest of the world”, shut your mouth, and keep watching and being brainwashed by CNN and Air America. Keep thinking that “the rest of the world hates us”. Here’s a clue, THEY DON’T. They wish they could BE LIKE US, but they can’t. You have no idea. Why don’t you go and join these so called “countries that hate us so much” and live there? You’d be back in the USA faster then a Democrat loses an election. (Yes, that fast)
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hahahaha!
I already live in europe!
We don’t live in trailer parks in europe… we build proper houses.
We don’t watch CNN either, or take American Airlines… we have our own airlines and news networks (inadquate or ill informed as they may be)
We also have inadequate governments and realise it.
I have met plenty of wonderful and gracious americans and i enjoy visiting your country too.
You really are either on here posing as an arrogant, insecure fundamentalist, in which case, it’s funny and convincing – well done – or you have a worrying view of the world…
either way, thanks for making me laugh! You’re hilarious!
Love from “toots” x
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