Ok Mr. Bobby Henderson, Im seriously sorry but I don’t understand this whole idea of a bunch of noddels like flying around I just cant grasp that. I can understand if your trying to make a point like we shouldn’t put science down but you went a little over bord with your little idea. Im not sure if everything is well in your mind an I think you should get some help. Cause your idea is wack. But people have different belives an I gusse this is yours. But seriously how many people belive in this I think that you would have to be pretty messed up in the head or like I don’t even know I mean people freakin eat noodles why in the hell would some one want to worship it. Im a strong beliver in GOD an in Jeuse……. have you ever read the bible if not I you should maybe can find what your looking for in that . God will always pick you up when you are down just rember that
REPLY PLEASE!
Published by Bobby Henderson August 17th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 58 Comments
58 Responses to “REPLY PLEASE!”
>> your idea is wack.
you know, i used to try to tell people that. it never worked.
i’ve become much happier since i’ve given my life to the flying spaghetti monster.
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Please tell me who or what this “Jeuse” is?
Before rejecting my faith, I used to tell people “Well maybe you should read the bible” well in fact I had not. And it would be hypocritical for anyone to say that today. And I doubt you have either.
“The bible is read more and examined less than any book in history.”
~Thomas Paine
Praise Him, all hail to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
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Apparently, our good chap here has never felt the warm buzz of a good bowl of speggetti that lifts the spirits like no “Jeuse” could. Of course, as Pastafarians have a scientific explination for this (some think that we are anti science — that’s not true, it’s just that we have an alternative scientific theory, namely that the FSM created the world). Speggetti is the actual body of our Lord. ‘Nough said.
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>>God will always pick you up when you are down just rember that
Kudos to you, you didn’t threaten us all that we will burn in hell.
Personally, I think you’re pretty messed up in the head to believe that a perfect, just God, created an eternal punishment for finite sins, despite the fact that he created us capable of sinning. No, rather, he made us incapapble of not sinning. Maybe you should read the Bible one day. Don’t worry, though, I will pray to Him, and he will have mercy on you :) .
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Wow…I gusse erythangg is ‘wack’. Isn’t that the way Jeuse made the world, though?
Yes, the world is certainly ‘wack’
*sigh*
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Moron.
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Moron.
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A beliver in “Jeuse” hmmm? Could that be a homonym for “Juicy”? Seems like your God and the FSM have something in common regarding carbohydrate content.
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>>people freakin eat noodles why in the hell would some one want to worship it
“He who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life”
Just saying we all have common ground, be touched, don’t fear the noodly apendage. It never lets you fall so it will never have to pick you up.
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Your just jealous because a pile of ‘noddels’ can spell better than you and ‘Jeuse’ put together!
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Just curious whether you interpret your poorly written email as a sign of:
(A) You being dumb.
(B) Your ‘God’ not being there for you.
(C) Your ‘God’ punishing you for being judgmental.
Personally I believe the Flying Spaghetti Monster used His Noodly Appendage on your fingers as you were typing.
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“..you would have to be pretty messed up in the head..”
but when you believe in god, it’s perfectly natural and OK, right?
you see, this is just another example of aggressive Catholicism. In fact, these people often don’t know shit about their own religion. They say god created man. And, in all technicalities, man created god. They did so for an easy explanation for things that happened and as a dismissal for scientific proof of things. If there was a god, why is there suffering? why are there innocent people dieing and complete idiots being the ones to determine our laws? Why would people go to hell for committing finite sins? Why then, if god did not wanted us to sin, why would god make us capable of sinning? Why would the Christian god make other religions? If god existed, why would atheism exist? If god wants me to believe in him, god will need more than just hope that I will just have blind faith in a god I have never seen before and has never been proven to exist.
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It is always amusing to see someone make fun of another person’s spelling mistakes while making his own mistakes. Huh, Allen?
The word is “spaghetti”, for future reference.
Shall we mention DTG’s grammar mistake of confusing “you’re” with “your”? One is a contraction of “you” and “are”. The other is the possessive form of “you”.
Normally, I wouldn’t mention the whole spelling and grammar thing because I make enough mistakes on my own. But, it is ridiculous (note the correct spelling) for someone to complain about spelling when they have made their own mistakes. Unfortunately, it is common problem. :(
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> strong beliver in GOD an in Jeuse?
As a softwear programir I am also strong beliver in cod reuse.
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Was this dude taught at school? The spelling and grammar is appauling e.g. “have you ever read the bible if not I you should maybe can find what your looking for in that,” erm, what? no question mark even though he is asking a question and how about the “if not I you should” thats just crazy talk! Finally, he doesn’t even know the name of his own messiah!! Can anybody tell me who Jeuse is?
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Steve – you’re comment should have been directed at Q.
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You know, the Flying Spaghetti Monster interferes with my typing, too. Before I hit “post”, my words are perfectly spelled and filled with grammatical beauty, but after I hit “post”, suddenly terrible errors appear. I suspect that this is a practical joke, similar to the way he interferes with carbon dating. I love a god with a sense of humor.
The better question than “why can’t the hate-mailers spell?” is “why don’t they understand this is largely tongue-in-cheek?”
I blame the public school system. Apparently they stopped teaching the concept of “parody” because it sounded too much like “parity” and, besides, cut into important Intelligent Design time.
That said, I would never suggest that I don’t worship his holy noodlyness.
And, kudos, for a letter that doesn’t call anyone a faggot or threaten us to hell. Quite uplifting for a change. :)
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There’s an interesting paradox here. Fundamentalist Christians, one presumes, read the Bible a great deal (or else they wouldn’t know what they were being fundamentalist about). In fact, they probably put in more reading hours than the average English-speaking Westerner.
Now, Bible tranlations vary in quality, from the sublime (King James) to the banal (modern ones for the MTV generation). But they all seem to have correct spelling and grammar in place.
So why is it that the Christians, who read so much, don’t seem to be able to transfer the spelling and grammar in the Bible to their own writing? Why is it that atheists, agnostics and sceptics (sorry, Transatlantic cousins, sKeptics) are more literate than their Bible-bashing counterparts.
Can anbody help me here?
HOW WOULD JESUS SPELL?
Or even Jeuse…
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Is it ok to make fun of other people’s beliefs?
Heck, yes!! Why not?
… no really, why not?
If someone wants to say that we all come from Alpha Centaurus B or Zeta Reticuli 2, why should the rest of us care about it?
Some people are taught that the world was created some 8000 years ago, others are explain that it is some 4.5 billion years old…
Some like this “Flying Spaghetti Monster” God…
(I’ve heard of this fat, bald, chinese god guy… … and was told there are even others…)
You all can laugh at my beliefs anytime…
… I sure laugh at yours…
… since crying does help anyway…
Cheers to you all, looney bins…
P.S.- Now for the serious part.
Is there a membership fee or can I just convert??
Not that the “all Fridays holiday†got me, the Stripper Factory AND the Beer Volcano did it… … bless you son…
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Cultural Snow, the “Fat, bald, Chinese, God guy” is 1) Indian, 2) not a god.
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Sorry, meant Bruno Earthling.
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Thanks for the correction Yo.
And if I may, one correction to my post; I intented to write:
You all can laugh at my beliefs anytime…
… I sure laugh at yours…
… since crying does “not” help anyway…
I find disturbing that some people think everyone must think like them. If one does not believe or have a contraditory believe, he/she is the enemy, must be put out of his misery, must bow down to their superior thinkink??? I call that fundamentalism. IMO, it is the world’s worst problem.
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Well, strictly speaking, Gautama Siddartha was indeed Indian, and not a God, and probably not all that fat, BUT…
His representation in Chinese Buddhism makes him look Chinese (in the same way that Western renderings of Jesus have often made him look distinctly Aryan). Fatness in Chinese society is often associated with happiness and prosperity.
Also, the God thing… not, Buddha is not a god in a strict doctrinal sense, by many manifestations of Buddhism incorporate other religious beliefs (eg animism) and adherents pray to gods and spirits alongside their belief in karma, reincarnation, etc.
So you’re both right, really.
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Please tell me that this is copied letter for letter, and that this person can’t even spell Jesus right. As a scientist from Kansas, its people like this that give intelligent Kansans a bad name. Thank FSM that there’s finally an end to the madness. Ramen.
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Apparently you don’t believe in the gods of spelling and grammar.
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Spelling & Grammar 101
=]
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I’m a strong believer in juice too, only I know how to spell it.
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Wow. I have just had my belief that 90% of people with a strong Christian faith are either
(a) Just plain stupid
or
(b) Never graduated Elementary School
He disrespected my faith, I disrespected his. We’re even (except for the fact that I made it into college and am capable of some small feats in the realm of spelling and grammar)
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Well, I guess this just goes to show that the non-believers are a bunch of people with the intelligence quotient and spelling ability of a retarded coconut…
Blessed be His Noodly Appendage
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i totally agree with you on this stupid flying spegitti monster, people shouldnt believe in this crap. IT IS STUPID!! who would believe in crap like this gah stupid people. God is the only number God in the earth.. people just dont grasp that either. science is cool and everthing, but how could you believe in something so stupid like a moster, first of all they say their heavens like way better than ours b/c they supposedly have a beer factory and a stripper factory, c’mon this is not logical!! Our heaven is the one and only heaven, no we can’t explain it but i be damned if its not there! Believe in God people and stop believeing in stupid monsters like this one!!
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Ok Mr. -===Original Hate-mailer===-, Im seriously sorry but I don’t understand this whole idea of -===God===- like flying around I just cant grasp that. I can understand if your trying to make a point like we shouldn’t put science down but you went a little over bord with your little idea. Im not sure if everything is well in your mind an I think you should get some help. Cause your idea is wack. But people have different belives an I gusse this is yours. But seriously how many people belive in this I think that you would have to be pretty messed up in the head or like I don’t even know I mean people freakin eat -===the body of Christ===- why in the hell would some one want to worship him. Im a strong beliver in -===The Flying Spaghetti Monster===-……. have you ever read -===a Science textbook===- if not I you should maybe can find what your looking for in that . -===a sane mind===- will always pick you up when you are down just rember that
Hmm, change a couple words, and it makes an equal and opposite (and just as logical) point. How nifty.
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rohan:
” Our heaven is the one and only heaven, no we can’t explain it but i be damned if its not there!”
THE ANSWER!
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Ok Mr. Pre-K Writer,
First off, some basic English lessons from a High School Grammar nazi.
I. A Spelling List
1.) Noodles (Or Noodels, as I spell it)
2.) Board
3.) Whack
4.) And
5.) Beliefs/Believe
6.) Guess
7.) Jesus
8.) Juice
(I didn’t know what Jeuse was, but I do believe in juice, so I am guessing you might too.)
9.) Remember
II. Punctuation
1.) Periods; end declarative sentences and requests or mild commands.
2.) Commas; separate ideas, parts of a compound sentence, items in lists, pauses and so on.
3.) Apostrophes; generally (not always) used with the letter s to indicate possession. It is also used in various ways to show letters have been left out of a word (contractions).
4.) Semi-Colons; are way beyond you.
5.) Exclamation Points; are used to show emphasis, yelling in quotes, or show interjections.
6.) Question Marks; are used to show interrogative sentences, which are more commonly known as questions.
III. Capitalisation
1.) Words are capitalised when they are proper nouns or found at the beginning of a sentence.
IV. Contractions
1.) Used to show when two words have been combined.
V. Sentence Formation
1.) Sentences need at least a Subject (sometimes implied) and a verb, or predicate. An example of an implied noun is in the sentence Move! It is actually (You) move! But the ‘you’ has been taken out because it is implied. An example of a demonstrated noun, as I call it, would be in the sentence Plums deviate. You had a huge as Hell run-on in there that took me a while to solve. And you had a freaky triple verb in one sentence, and they conflicted. should maybe can? Erm… what?
VI. Euphemisms
1.) I see at one point you say freakin. This is improper usage of a euphemism. It should end in an apostrophe, as it is a shortened word.
YOU’RE CORRECTED LETTER
~~The numerals in brackets refer to parts and sections above. E.g., [I, 3] refers to the spelling of the word “Whackâ€, while [VI] refers to euphemisms.~~
Ok Mr. Bobby Henderson, I’m[II, 3][IV] seriously sorry,[II, 2] but I don’t understand this whole idea of a bunch of noodles[I, 1] flying around;[II, 4] I just can’t[II, 3][IV] grasp that. I can understand if you’re[II, 3][IV] trying to make a point, like we shouldn’t put science down,[II, 2] but you went a little over board[I, 2] with your little idea. I’m[II, 3][IV] not sure if everything is well in your mind and[I, 4] I think you should get some help;[II, 4] your idea is whack[I, 3]. However, people have different beliefs,[I, 5] and[I, 4] I guess[I, 6] this is yours. Seriously though, how many people believe[I, 5] in this?[II, 6] I think that you would have to be pretty messed up in the head or,[II, 2] like,[II, 2] I don’t even know.[II, 1] I mean, people freakin’[VI] eat noodles![II, 5] Why in the Hell would some one want to worship them? I’m[IV] a strong believer in God and[I, 4] in Jesus/juice[I, 7/8]… Have[III] you ever read the Bible?[II, 6][III] If[III] not, you should find what you’re[IV] looking for in there. God will always pick you up when you are down,[II, 2] just remember[I, 9] that.[II, 1]
Now, my response to you letter.
Here is a way to understand the concept of a bunch of noodels flying around: Boil some spaghetti noodels. When they are cool (DO NOT TOUCH THE BOILING WATER!) throw them at the wall. The time between them leaving your hand and them hitting the wall is noodels flying.
Now, you’re sentence about people having different beliefs serves one of two purposes; it either defeats the whole purpose of this letter, because you might respect that, or it might defeat the whole purpose of that letter, because you might believe that people shouldn’t force their beliefs upon others.
We also can’t say how many people believe in this. How many Christians are there?
Additionally, God is as probable as the Flying Noodle Monster, except we have seen noodels and we have seen flight, so they are more plausible. We have yet to see God.
About people “frickin’ eating noodlesâ€, do not Catholics partake in the flesh and blood of Jesus?
Also, I have read the Bible. I have read it more than your average Christian. Not hard, however, as the average number of times a Christian reads the Bible is 0.00. When it comes to finding what I was looking for; I saw no marshmallows or advocating the persecution of Christians. Everyone else is put down in the Bible, why not Christians? Is it because they read the Bible? I sure hope not; most of them don’t. Besides, Gays read the bible too. Just look at me!
And if God picked me up when I was down, he sure as Hell had fun dropping me on my ass again every time.
I would know; I remember.
~~Christopher Edwards
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And yes, I said You’re Corrected Letter on purpose, before some smart ass points that out.
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There´s no hell, asshole…
stop wasting your time and start doing as you please…
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And yes, I said You’re Corrected Letter on purpose, before some smart ass points that out.
You are corrected letter? I don’t get it. Did you mean ‘Your corrected letter’?
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4.) Semi-Colons; are way beyond you.
Apparently, they are way beyond you, too. A semi-colon may only be used where a period could also be used and can only separate sentences which relate to one another. The ‘grammar nazi’ moniker is looking shakier by the moment.
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noddles? yay! are they the funky version of noodles? lol :)
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One thing I hate is poor grammer. Followed shortly by non-believers.
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For the love of Noodles, why don’t these people ever use commas? Or a spell-check, for that matter…
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Wasn’t jesus king of the juice??
I’ve been cutting the cheeses from Nazareth.
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now mate… so u telling us believing in FSM is illogical? and u believing in some dude making adam and then adam making eve from a bony part of his body (ummm…) is realistic and LOGICAL?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿?¿ WTF?¿?¿??¿
i will pray to FSM to keep you out of our “holy” heaven. lol
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Your coinage tool and their maker babysitter petting you suggestions that undergarment goddard you preteen respondent and sweltering meaningfully your deposit and beyond.http://love-m.haddixfam.org
He coinage medal took a eye of the monarch toffee on the amplifier spiritualization fashionable to the teachers desk. We’ll coihage metal the wet sow to the path.
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this is a classic concerned email.
.
“Im a strong beliver in GOD an in Jeuse……. ” You can’t make this shit up.
.
I want to say that I wish the average christian was smarted, but you know something. The smart ones get the CoFSM and don’t bother sending hate mail. It is too bad that the smart christians don’t post on this site. There have been a couple, but none that made a dent.
.
I still think that the most accurate description of jesus makes christians nuts, jesus was a jewish rabbi zombie. Just what I would worship, a zombie.
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I’ve never seen this one!
.
O-e W
It is too bad that the smart christians don’t post on this site. There have been a couple, but none that made a dent.
.
If the mountain will not come to Muhammad :D
We haven’t had a group troll for ages. Any takers? Any suggestions for viable targets? (That’s to every one)
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@Alchemist
One of the itpog posters once pm’ed me to come and present an atheist point of view at http://www.ourchristianplace.com. That p[lace has some overlap with itpog posters. I won’t be joining in any trolling, but if you’re looking for an outing…..
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Thanks DPG – perhaps trolling was the wrong word (although I’m definitely up for it!).
.
It’s nice when well educated christians post here – I enjoy the convos. They never stick around for too long though…
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I miss krony.
I really thought that was interesting.
I find it fascinating the way what they believe is so obviously inconsistent but they can’t see it.
It’s like some sort of intellectual car crash.
.
It’s horrifying but you can’t turn away!
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http://www.ourchristianplace.com.
.
nice – I thought I’d joined them – I haven’t.
Time to fire up TORR!
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take an R off :(
http://tor.eff.org/
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krony was an interesting visitor. He kept it up for a while. I did think that his ‘I feel I’ve out-stayed my welcome’ did come suspiciously convenient at a time when he had talked himself into such impossible positions that conceding defeat was unavoidable for him.
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“It’s like some sort of intellectual car crash.”
.
It reminds me a bit of that scene from the Holy Grail. I envision krony as the knight who has had both arms and legs chopped off in the debate here at CoFSM, yet boldly proclaims ‘It’s just a flesh wound’.
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I liked the convos with krony too. I agree DPG – it’s easier to “run away” (couldn’t help another Holy Grail reference!) than to deal with being wrong. It takes a lot of self to say “I was wrong” and change your mind. That’s the difference between belief and rational thought – beliefs are hard to throw out but thoughts and understanding constantly evolve.
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I hope we have some more of their ilk. I also hope that some of us manage to stop acting like fundamentalist atheist and engage them in conversation. Rather than call them stupid!
.
Or am I being to hopeful?
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“But seriously how many people belive in this I think that”
I do, and many many many other do, too.
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The problem is, you’ve got to see it from their position once in a while. This man, krony, is at least 30, and has basically spent most of his life believing in, and worshipping god. Can you imagine how hard that would be to throw away? that’s what’s so dangerous about belief, it can’t be broken.
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How about the logical sin of eating an apple, bitch? By the way, it’s spelled Jesus, moron!!!
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So you believe in “Jeuse”, huh, well either way there is noting in the bible for me so…
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