Comments on: Jesus loves you guys

By: Garrick McElroy

Garrick McElroy — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:57:18 +0000

I’m going to hell for exercising free will. How nice of him.

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By: Cape Buffalo

Cape Buffalo — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 03:42:33 +0000

didn’t you get the email… all of these christians are sending “love mail”

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By: AVISPA

AVISPA — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 13:28:36 +0000

If heaven has people like you in it, I don’t want to be there!

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By: quietplease

quietplease — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 22:47:34 +0000

Hippo Crates?

Oh, dude, I need some crates for those Hippos that are always running around in my house…. bitches have ADHD

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By: Privateer

Privateer — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 16:07:13 +0000

@ Jack
God does not touch your weiner at night!
Have you been sitting on your left hand before going to bed again.
You will go blind, for it is written

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By: Averross

Averross — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 15:55:33 +0000

@Cultural Snow
HIPPOCRATES is also an anagram of “CRAPPIEST HO.” Does that mean the Christian heaven has a stripper factory as well… but ones who perform poorly?

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By: Jack

Jack — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 15:44:36 +0000

god touches my wiener at night.

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By: Alex (a work in progress)

Alex (a work in progress) — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 02:35:31 +0000

See, the thing is, these people don’t need to be attacked, they truly and honestly believe they are helping us. So, I say thanks but no thanks and pray that you will realize the His Noodly Goodness will forgive you for your ignorance. And that i’ll learn to spell.

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By: Werefox Alchemist

Werefox Alchemist — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 23:42:01 +0000

I’m glad you were so nice about this, but really. I do not believe in Hell. For that matter, I don’t know what to believe. i think Jesus was a good guy with some excellent ideas that were a little ahead of his time, and he said what he had to to get his point across. Besides, and I say this to everyone, if you can give me rock solid proof of your God’s existance, I will belive and become a Christian again. Until then, a faithful agnostic and follower of the FSM I shall remain.
RAmen to you.
~W.A.

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By: Steve Bowen

Steve Bowen — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 17:30:00 +0000

Mc,
While I am pleased to see that you are an atypical example of the ‘christians’ who normally post here, I must admit my confusion regarding your choice to do so. I can, of course, only speak for myself, but I really don’t understand what you hope to accomplish. I do not believe in your god. I do not believe that Jesus died for me. I do not believe in heaven or hell. As far as I am concerned, none of them exist. You claim that Jesus was perfect. Well, if the price of perfection is getting nailed to a cross, you can count me out. You said that ” my realist mind was satisfied enough to take the leap of FAITH and believe.” In my opinion ‘realism’ and ‘faith’ are mutually exclusive terms. I am a student studying to be a scientist (pharmacology) and I don’t need faith to know that acids and bases will neutralize one another; I need realism and scientific method. I only believe in what can be seen, heard, smelled, tasted, touched, and experimented with. Anything which does not fall into any of the previous categories, in my opinion, does not exist.

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By: Mc

Mc — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 13:54:44 +0000

Thanks for your perspective – here are some thoughts of mine.

I’m not condemning anyone. My job as a soldier in God’s army isn’t to condemn, but to reach out… build relationships and show to people that there is more to this Jesus guy than just a story etc. (i.e The Gospel)

And I’m not going to say who God will condemn… it’s not my place. But I’ve come to the point in my walk where I’ve said to myself: I’ll either believe that the Bible is the complete, accurate and truthfull Word of God or nothing at all. And after doing enough personal research my realist mind was satisfied enough to take the leap of FAITH and believe.

And yes it is sad. But many/most people will not enter the Kingdom of God.
Is it wrong? It is ‘wrong’ for us to sin. If that isn’t true… define wrong. Or has wrong only existed after we evolved enough to construct social networks?

So if we have wronged God and haven’t somehow made it right… wouldn’t he punish us? I doubt the majority of this world are perfect. In fact I can only recall one person ever being perfect…. no brainer: Jesus – was I there? No – read my second paragraph.

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By: Mc

Mc — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 13:11:09 +0000

Why is there sickness in this lifetime? Doesn’t God love us?

Sin! But does it matter if we are sick in our little 80 year struggle? ETERNITY IS THE REAL LIFE GOD HAS GIVEN US.

Hmm…. 80 vs ETERNITY

Why would Eternity be any better? or perfect? Satan will no be there. We will have no sin… not even a stain of it!

If you are going to hate God because you were born deformed, sick, ugly (by social standards), poor or whatever your situation isn’t going to improve much after you die here.

And you won’t be deformed in your eternal body.

Oh boy… I bet I’m gettin unpopular with you guys now!

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By: Noodly...?

Noodly...? — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 07:55:53 +0000

unfortunately Christians are so devided and hipocritical. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t the sincere biblical representatives of the faith.

So, what you are saying is that, in believing in a heartfelt way in christianity, you are denying that I will go to hell because are not christian. Denying one of the tenets of Christian belief that has been around for…i don’t know how long…of course constitutes belief and generosity.

However, sounds like you are a reasonable person, so I’ll just say that, from my perspective, Christianity condemning the majority of perfectly good human beings to eternal damnation simply because they don’t practice, or believe, in Christianity is wrong and sad.

Another Jewish Guy

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By: Mc

Mc — Mon, 11 Sep 2006 05:51:55 +0000

“3)”The basic mechanisms that produce evolutionary change are natural selection (which includes ecological, sexual, and kin selection) and genetic drift; these two mechanisms act on the genetic variation created by mutation, genetic recombination and gene flow.”(wikipedia) Mutation is a vehicle of evolution, fuckwit.”

Good thanks, and yourself?

Well… what is mutation? To kill what you have posted, genetic mutations in ALL cases observable is the loss (what? THE LOSS) of genetic information. Yet you are claiming that that this is one of evolutions mechanisms.

Mutation = degeneration… not evolution.

Look guys, we can look at the same data – but if we have different presuppositions we will come to different conclusions. That’s how it is.

I can’t prove God. It is the Holy Spirit that brings conviction onto our hearts and breaks down our walls of sin that stop us from believing. I’m not perfect… I sin… everyday. Yet it is through the blood of Christ that I KNOW that when I am judged, I will still be given eternal life.

God is real to me, because I have seeked Him. I was in knee deep crap… many people are off way way WAY worse than I was… but God made a PERSONAL difference in my life when I accepted Christ. I used go clubbing, do drugs and hate everyone and everything – I was a real shmuck.. I’ve had my personal testimony and can’t explain it fully… but I am so blessed now.. i’m 20, getting married to an amazing Godly girl in 19 days.. finished uni.. and want to extend the Kingdom of God as this is what I have been commanded to do. And I feel [almost] as clean as a whistle.. yet I will try my best to not sin as this pleases my heavenly Father.

If you are not going to seek… no scientific data will prove God. But I think we all have something in us saying that the ’sinfull’ things we are doing is ruining something part of our most inner-being. And I believe this is because we are made in the ‘image of God’… yes yes I know… how do you interpret that one… not today tho folks.

People like evolution – I think because then we don’t have these moral obligations.. Sex drugs and rock’n'roll peoples!

And yes ‘Noodly..?’.. unfortunately Christians are so devided and hipocritical. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t the sincere biblical representatives of the faith. It is because of these christians and their behaviour that the whole group of Christians get put into this box called “two-faced liars”. We aren’t all like that. I mean we are all liars.. who hasn’t lied? But they are what I call sunday christians who unfortunately have never realy understood the fullness of God and what he has done and promises to do.

Anywho… all I can say really is seek… seek sincerely.. and you WILL find! He has promised that to us. How long??? In God’s timing not ours. After we are ’saved’/forgiven we can’t do what we want. If you read the scriptures God has gives us responsibilities to fill when we accept the sacrifice of Jesus

OOH… and the other post… to be honest… I would LOVE to have coffee with a Muslim. I have great respect for them. Many of them are very open to scripture and may not agree with you.. but will have friendly discussions about it.

The major people group I dislike [unfortunately] is the Queer groups… this isn’t what I am meant to be doing. But it is a struggle I have. God is good… Christians can be misled and often are.

What?? A Christian being honest??

My ‘rant’ is done.

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By: Noodly..?

Noodly..? — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 13:28:31 +0000

A murderer goes on a rampage and kills 150 kids, because he’s having a bad hair day. The murderer proceeds to get put on trial, facing capitol punishment. Now…he says to the judge ‘Mr. Judge… I know that you’re a kind and good judge, so I know you won’t send me to my death’.

interesting theory. however, from what i understand (please do correct me if im wrong) If God was the judge, and the murderer confessed all of his sins, he would be forgiven and go to heaven…

interesting story: Adolf Eichmann was put on trial in Israel, and he was convicted of many crimes, and put to death. afterwards, the priest attending him in his final days was interviewed. he said, sadly, that Eichmann had not accepted God, but if he had, he would have gone to heaven, despite his crimes. when asked about the millions of Jews who were Eichmann’s victims, the priest replied, i imagine they are burning in hell right now.

just goes to show-why believe in a religion that condemns all peoples who dont believe the same to everlasting torment?

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By: L

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 13:02:31 +0000

I think the lesson we’ve all learned from this is that if at one time I claim Jesus to be my Savior and Lord…

I can do whatever the hell I want!!!

Right?

Because then I’m “saved.” And let’s face it, once I’m saved, I don’t have to worry about one single thing I do. Why? you may ask… well, because “god is a forgiving god.”

Wow. The world would truly be a great place if everyone believed that.

Oh and the same appiles for doing things in the name of god. Like Holy Wars. Totally God-Approved. Because man is never wrong in interpreting the “word of god.” Terorists believe they are doing the work of god. I’m pretty sure any Christian you talk to on the street hates them.

So get a sense of humor, and quit thinking your way is better than my way.

(By the way, Christians scare the bejesus out of me.)

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By: Andy Bursavich

Andy Bursavich — Sat, 02 Sep 2006 21:04:57 +0000

“I know that if you were to die today that you would all go to hell. unless at one point you declared Christ as your lord and savior. I just want to say i guess is that God loves you no matter what”

I don’t understand how people can believe there is some all-loving god that would send you to Hell if you don’t make some ridiculous declaration. I wouldn’t send someone I love to be tortured for all of eternity. Hell is just a glorified time-out to manipulate people into oppression via fear.

Ramen.

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By: humanity

humanity — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 00:04:01 +0000

Hakseng – that was not my quote. Signatures are at the bottom.

Anyway, Aaron, the bible is chock-ful of BS. You believe it, along with a bunch of other people who were shortchanged on repetitions of the ‘critical thinking’ gene in their DNA. I’m sorry, but even though you really really really really want it to be true, the evidence indicates that it is not.

I, however, would like to extensively tour and explore workings of a beer volcano and a stripper factory, so FSMism is the winner!

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By: Hakseng

Hakseng — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 22:35:35 +0000

Posted by: humanity | August 29, 2006
“I can’t believe someone used the Council of Nicea as any evidence at all! The Davinci Code is not a history text-book!”

I knew about the Council of Nicea (where the Nicene Creed comes from) before the DaVinci Code (a book and movie that I have yet to read or see…) ever came out!
This information was known before any book or movie, but sometimes it takes a book or a movie to bring the information to the publics’ attention.

As for the following…
“The Bible is literally true (6 day creation and all.. I mean all)”

DaVinci Code is not a history text book… but the Bible is…???

Before you put all of your eggs in one basket, understand that the Holy Bible is a translation of a translation of a translation of oral stories! I personally believe that any sort of faith must be established by knowing and understanding as much of our world as we can, and then STILL choosing to believe in something. I have a friend that was born and rasied completely Christian. Without knowing any other religion, how can she be sure that she is a real believer in God?!
Maybe she would make a better Taoist or perhaps Muslim? Who knows such things when people keep themselves convinced that a single book, written by man is the ABSOLUTE truth?!

I admire what is being done with this Flying Spaghetti Monster website. (I just learned about it this morning…) This is a good critique on Theological logic and reason. But most importantly, I believe it promotes focus on very important issues that people tend to forget or ignore. People forget that there is a huge world, with literally thousands of religions and variations. And here people talk about God as if they have seen and understand all of them! There are gods, Jesus, Yaweh, Allah, Vishnu, Shiva, Agni, Athena, Zeus, Odin, Loki, Quezecotl, (and now FSM) etc… and then there are teachers and prophets, Mohommed, Buddha, Confucius, Lao-tzu, Osho etc…

How can someone who takes the Bible as 100% truth and all else as pure nonsense possibly understand what is going on with only 1% of the picture visible?

- Hakseng (The Student)

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By: Steve Bowen

Steve Bowen — Thu, 31 Aug 2006 21:55:16 +0000

Aaron…Aaron…Aaron. You just don’t get it. No man was ever born of a virgin; it is not genetically possible. Nobody has ever been perfect; it is not humanly possible. Nobody has ever performed a miracle; it is not physically possible. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, has ever risen from the dead. Just because your little book says it is so does not make it real.
You asked if we saw the American revolution or the Big Bang. The answer is ‘no’. However, the American Revolution is a matter of recent historical fact supported by countless eye-witness accounts, official reports, and a plethora of artifacts capable of being studied and verified. The Big Bang , conversely, is a theory. A THEORY. Even cosmologists will admit that the theory may eventually be proven untrue. The key word here is ‘proven’. If sufficient evidence comes to light showing that the Big Bang could not have happened, then the theory will, as so many other theories in the past, be abandoned. Time and time again, your bible has been shown to contain so many inconsistencies that it can not be taken seriously.
In conclusion, don’t tell me Jesus died for my sins; he died because he was a threat to the contemporary power base. Don’t tell me god loves me; your god does not exist. Don’t quote passages from your book; it was written over the course of a 1,000 years by a bunch of bi-polar lunatics who heard disembodied voices.
Join us in His noodly goodness. Accept the FSM into your heart. Ramen.

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