If I was your creator and you mocked me in this manner I couldn’t think of a hell hot enough for you. It is really sad to think that at Judgement you will be standing in front of God Almighty and he will look at you and say “Depart from me ye worker of iniquity, I never knew you” And to think, God let you be born, blessed you with health and love in your life and with what do you honor Him? With such vile mockeries of his Deity. I am sick to my stomach that my small babies will live in such a disgusting generation where God is no longer the source of strength and power. I should hope that as you mature, have children and they ever are in need of a miracle in their life, that you won’t know whose name to call on. I will. And miracle after miracle I have seen Him perform. It is no coincidence. When you invoke the name of JESUS, Miracles HAPPEN! I pray you find that miracle in your life soon. Read Acts 2:38. Oh I guess the Bible is all made up too, right. In that case, make sure u don’t let anyone get you a present this year!
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
Dude, if I were our creator, I’d be ashamed of myself for not including built-in milkshake makers into out organic structure. But, everyone has their faults, so give in and praise be to his noodleness.
RAmen
Yeah, if I was your creator and then sent out mixed, amibiguous signals about whether I existed or not and then you later concluded that there wasn’t enough evidence, I’d be so angry I would torture you.
Good one. That reminds me of when I tried to strangle one of my own turds for trying to run away when I flushed it.
You’re correct, the Bible IS all made up; it was written and refined over generations to ensure that a wealthy, patriarchal elite would continue to dominate society. Step back and use your eyes and mind a bit: it is very clear.
The bible has been rewritten more than the cumulative misspellings and awful grammatical errors made by the hate-mailers on this site.
I’m SOLD!
“”Depart from me ye worker of iniquity, I never knew you”"
Why does good speak in that odd faux middle age way?
You know, lots of names when are invoked when I make miracles happen. Makeing sweet, sweet love to my wife you would be amazed at the names she calls out.
“If I was your creator and you mocked me in this manner I couldn’t think of a hell hot enough for you.”
As a Christian, that is the most un-Christian thing I have heard all week. I am sorry that your god is a vengeful god who would sentence someone to an eternity of hell for a joke. Not just any joke, but a funny one. Or does your god not have a sense of humor either? I’d really wish you people would stop going around calling yourselves “Christians.” Your perverted view of the Bible and of Jesus’s teachings often make me ashamed of calling myself a Christian.
What’s all that about presents? Santa Claus is in the Bible?
I think it is even better that Christmas the celebration of Jesus’ birth is celebrated on a pagan holiday. How’s that for ironic.
Don’t stop at not asking for presents. I better not see you eating any chocolate Easter eggs either. Those are for capitalist Xians who love their Lord and the Resurrection Day Bunny, not for heathens like you who just like jelly beans.
Killin’ em. You guys are the best. I’d worship YOU.
Anyone else keep hearing Janet Jackson?
“If I was your creator all the things I’d do to you! I’ll haul you out on Judgement Day and I’ll say ‘I never knew you’…”
If I kept hearing Janet Jackson, I’d be dead already.
if you were my creator, you’d be too busy with the beer volcano and playing with your noodley appendage to be writing silly letters in defense of a fictitious god…
I feel sick to my stomaach too, but only because I ate this dude’s small babies.
They were especially tender.
“In that case, make sure u don’t let anyone get you a present this year!”
Why not? I rather enjoy the completely secular idea that has become the modern-day Christmas.
Look up Paganism and you’ll see that Christianity has all but absorbed this interesting and amazing religion.
wow I love the last line of her email. If you think the Bible is made up then you don’t get presents at Christmas. Cause everyone knows the Bible decrees Christmas presents for all! As long as you believe in Jeebus.
“If I was your creator and you mocked me in this manner I couldn’t think of a hell hot enough for you.”
Are you impugning the omnipotence of YHVH? Heathen!!! Burn the witch!!! Seriously though, why do you insist on making a beautiful concept like love your neighbor and be nice to people and try to love everyone into a which hunting hate mongering genocidal paranoid schizophrenic cult?
God (Jahweh?) is love? Christian hate mail, what a concept.
I feel sorry for your children lady.