You are the biggest hypocrite I have ever been exposed to; throughout your page you repeatedly assert that evolution is the only “scientific” explanation of the origin of species, yet right on your front page you say that such absurd theories as the “Flying Spaghetti Monster” should also be incorporated into public high school science curriculum. So let me explain this to you nice and slow; the Bible is the answer, it is what is to be differed to at all times; the Bible is 100% true- it says so in the Bible. Now, as far as science goes, who the hell do you think your are to call Intelligent Design “illegitimate science,” technically, evolution is the only scientific theory yes; and technically, midgets are people… So we aren’t to concerned with technicalities are we? Plus, part of education is being exposed to every side of the story, because if we cannot give six billion accounts of each event, then not everyone is being fairly represented and we are reduced to defining science as some kind of “standard” outside of human gut-instinct. And besides, as an acquaintance once said (really) “what good has evolution done the world anyway?”
So there we have it, as I noticed some of you other readers correctly pointed out, if you question things your are a tool of Satan. You don’t need to question, God does all the thinking for us; he actually has a degree in Philosophy. Abortion is wrong, it says so in the bible, I dare you to go look it up- you probably won’t find it, but that’s just because your gay, which is also wrong- it says so in the Bible. Now some of us will be wondering the justification for that moral assertion, but remember the Bible is flawless- it says so in the Bible.
Back to evolution- all of the evidence that exists for it is actually false and placed there by Satan, and so that evidence really isn’t inconsistent with the Bible at all, and that makes it void. But the evidence that is the Bible, and its infinite circle of self-validation is completely inconsistent with evolution. I mean come on, if God didn’t really make Adam and Eve, why would He lie to us? And so since ID has more valid evidence than evolution supporting it, it wins and you lose.
As a Christian, I follow Jesus for his teachings of love and tolerance; it is people like you who make me sick, I hope you die in a lake of fire and get your eyes pecked out by crows, so that you may go to hell and exist for eternity in a lake of fire getting your eyes pecked out by crows.
With love,
Charlie
I’m going to print this thing out, its priceless! This guy has clearly thought it out so well as to make it so bad! Well done, sir!
HOLY SHIT SHIT FUCK DAMN SLUT!! that…that!! just made my day LOL!!!!! wow…i think he just made the whole point of ppl are insane these days TOTALLY clear as hell o.0…i mean…geezuz he like took probably days just to think how to say that..and it sucked ..but wow i never laughed so hard!! he could be a comedian :D
hilarious…comdey at its best…especially when idiots post things that are senseless and abusing…LETS ALL LAUGH ;P
“I also find you and your ilk to be fucking retards for not recognising satire when you see it. Dipshit.
Posted by: Cobracommander | August 01, 2006 at 07:59 AM”
Do you really not recognize this as satire of people not recognizing satire (among other things)? Or, is this a third layer of satire on top?
Charlie,
You are one of the most bigoted, intolerant people I have ever seen. Love and Tolerance, yeah right. I believe all religions are equal and that people can belive and do what they want, as long sa it doesn’t hurt others. And your message, sir, hurt others a lot. And evolution is psychological, not measured in height.
“the Bible is the answer, it is what is to be differed to at all times; the Bible is 100% true- it says so in the Bible.”
Uh-huh. OK, I’m gunna write a book, it will say “The bible, is in fact, a bunch of crap. This 100% true.”
Because it says so, in my book, ’tis true.
“You don’t need to question, God does all the thinking for us; he actually has a degree in Philosophy.”
Yay! Being a sheep and having my life thought out for me like a good little boy is FUN!
You also say “-it says so in the bible.”
alot. It says so in my book:”The bible, is in fact, a bunch of crap. This 100% true.”
Hah.
“The Bible is 100% true- it says so in the Bible.”
That is the Goddamn stupidest arguement I have ever heard. It’s right up there with the ‘you got your peanut butter on my chocolate’ thing. Really. You sir (or madam) are a moron. May the FSM be with you, and your idiot ilk.
EDIT: After reading the whole letter, I now fel strongly that this is a joke. At least, I hope it was intended for comic purposes because I came pretty damn close to dying laughing.
Charlie was the one responsible for electing my president? Now it all makes sense. By the way, don’t blame me. I didn’t vote for him.
The minions of Sargoth-Kuul are funny, they just can’t see the big drooling beast before them. Pathetic.
The christian contradiction usually impresses me, this do that to an immense height.
God is the biggest hipocrite. His true name is Sargoth-Kuul and eats people’s souls when they die, and like it. Long live the FSM (who cannot die, anyways).
now i think (i hope) its some of us that are missing the joke.
RAmen
This is so obviously intended as a joke that I can’t believe some of you took it seriously. Charlie is clearly having a laugh at religious zealots as much as any of the rest of you are. While I agree it’s funny to laugh at silly things, some of your responses have shown the ignorance that many atheists have regarding religion. I myself am an agnostic but Jewish by birth, and not a week goes by when some smart fool, be they believer or atheist, doesn’t make a comment along the lines of “it’s really obvious that God does / doesn’t exist [strike out as relevant] and anyone who thinks otherwise is an idiot”. The truth is that it isn’t at all obvious, by the nature of the question, which is why I choose to abstain from believing either way. I don’t have anything against people believing or not believing in God, but I do think that the many people who have had their views on the subject polarized need to get some perspective on “the opposition”.
For the record, I am as much against the teaching of Intelligent Design as science as any of you.
Just my two pence,
Robin
DUDE, I feel bad for all the little people pirates, The Flying Spaghetti Monster would be so mean to the dwarven kind.
Funniest thing I’ve read today. Good stuff.
And the comments? Second funniest…today is going to be a good day.
Is that Charlie Sheen ? Sounds like somebody’s in withdraw….
charlie sounds like another loving christian
‘BURN THE GAYS, KILL WOMEN WITH ABORTIONS, MURDER ALL THE SCIENCE PROFESORS THAT TEACH US ABOUT OUR ORIGINS, STONE ALL DISOBEDIENT CHILDREN.
.
sounds like a typical fundie. what a dumbass for saying fossils are the work of the devil. i guess all those paleantologists and anthropologists are going to hell for persuing their passion. i thought religion was supposed to be loving, not busting on people because of their lifestyles. no wonder religion sucks
All the people who didn’t get the joke should be sent to concentration camps. I am serious. They are just as stupid as the Christians.
@brtkrbzhnv
RAmen brtkrbzhnv. By the way, would you like to buy a vowel?
‘So there we have it, as I noticed some of you other readers correctly pointed out, if you question things your are a tool of Satan. You don’t need to question, God does all the thinking for us; he actually has a degree in Philosophy.’
.
So there you have it . The priceless xtian logic we all thrive on.
RAmen