You are the biggest hypocrite I have ever been exposed to; throughout your page you repeatedly assert that evolution is the only “scientific” explanation of the origin of species, yet right on your front page you say that such absurd theories as the “Flying Spaghetti Monster” should also be incorporated into public high school science curriculum. So let me explain this to you nice and slow; the Bible is the answer, it is what is to be differed to at all times; the Bible is 100% true- it says so in the Bible. Now, as far as science goes, who the hell do you think your are to call Intelligent Design “illegitimate science,” technically, evolution is the only scientific theory yes; and technically, midgets are people… So we aren’t to concerned with technicalities are we? Plus, part of education is being exposed to every side of the story, because if we cannot give six billion accounts of each event, then not everyone is being fairly represented and we are reduced to defining science as some kind of “standard” outside of human gut-instinct. And besides, as an acquaintance once said (really) “what good has evolution done the world anyway?”
So there we have it, as I noticed some of you other readers correctly pointed out, if you question things your are a tool of Satan. You don’t need to question, God does all the thinking for us; he actually has a degree in Philosophy. Abortion is wrong, it says so in the bible, I dare you to go look it up- you probably won’t find it, but that’s just because your gay, which is also wrong- it says so in the Bible. Now some of us will be wondering the justification for that moral assertion, but remember the Bible is flawless- it says so in the Bible.
Back to evolution- all of the evidence that exists for it is actually false and placed there by Satan, and so that evidence really isn’t inconsistent with the Bible at all, and that makes it void. But the evidence that is the Bible, and its infinite circle of self-validation is completely inconsistent with evolution. I mean come on, if God didn’t really make Adam and Eve, why would He lie to us? And so since ID has more valid evidence than evolution supporting it, it wins and you lose.
As a Christian, I follow Jesus for his teachings of love and tolerance; it is people like you who make me sick, I hope you die in a lake of fire and get your eyes pecked out by crows, so that you may go to hell and exist for eternity in a lake of fire getting your eyes pecked out by crows.
With love,
Charlie
Which of the thousands of versions of the bible that have existed in the last 2000 years, is the truth? Becuase I know there are a damn lot of them, and they all seem to say a lot of different things. They change over time, by humans, changing things for thier own personal power, it seems like if that really was god’s word, it would never be able to be changed, but it does. That’s funny.
I love the bit where he says the bible is to be differed to at all times. This email really was well written.
Most of you people responding to this message are complete morons. I really do weep for our future, and not so much because we are becoming a godless society, but because so many people are so stupid.
Best post ever. (actually some of the replies are pretty priceless as well). Nicely done!
i was hoping for more midget talk….and what kind of an argument is: remember the Bible is flawless- it says so in the Bible? if the bible is flawless, then explain to me how the story of Noah could have possibly happened and why people in the bible are 800 years old!
The email itself and this whole thread has made my day. :D
“I hope you die in a lake of fire and get your eyes pecked out by crows, so that you may go to hell and exist for eternity in a lake of fire getting your eyes pecked out by crows.”
That is the most brilliant curse I’ve ever heard.
Gosh ! Americans really do get sarcasm !! Brilliant. Even funnier are some of the morons who commented who didn’t get the joke. Fab. Good Job !!
Midgets are people and what was a 7 foot tall wookie doing living on Endore with a bunch of 3 foot tall ewoks? Tell me!
I love how they always end these hate-filled, ignorant rants with Love or my favorite, “With Blessings.” Beautiful.
Hahahaha. I love fools playing fools. Now, you see how prejudiced everyone is, so ready to believe the idiocy of the author, not realizing the idiocy of themselves.
By the way “dingbat”, I doubt you could ever come up with a contradiction in the Bible after many months of reading w/o the help of your “list of bible contradictions” websites. Truly, most I’ve read are 90% illogical.
I entirely agree with the comment, that we should “differ to” the Bible at all times.
I love the fact that the only way to tell the ‘real’ hate mail from the ‘fake’ isn’t the level of craziness, or the number of blatant contradictions, or the circular logic (they’re all pretty equal in those areas), but the clarity with which they are expressed.
Nicely done, sir! You’ve successfully encapsulated the gist of the other writers while simultaneously clarifying their messages. Not easy to do. I can understand why people thought the letter was ‘real.’
my fave is right at the end:
As a Christian, I follow Jesus for his teachings of love and tolerance; it is people like you who make me sick, I hope you die in a lake of fire and get your eyes pecked out by crows, so that you may go to hell and exist for eternity in a lake of fire getting your eyes pecked out by crows.
wow, you are one screwed up person, seems like this book really touched a nerve for you…
Yes, and you did make me laugh. LOL
“I follow Jesus for his teachings of love and tolerance; it is people like you who make me sick, I hope you die in a lake of fire and get your eyes pecked out by crows, so that you may go to hell and exist for eternity in a lake of fire getting your eyes pecked out by crows”
Whoa, hold the phone. For someone who preaches tolerance, you appear to be very intolerant. Prove that God ISN’T a Flying Spaghetti Monster. I dare you. I want evidence that your version of Divinity is correct. Have you tried Hare Krishna? Listen to Kermit, and for FSM’s sake, take an English class. A sentence never starts with “And”, geez.
Yeah, it has to be a pisstake (the alternative is just too fucking scary :)). A great pisstake though.
“You don’t need to question, God does all the thinking for us; he actually has a degree in Philosophy.”
Hee hee. God, Bachelor of Philosophy. But from what college/university, that’s the question?
ok this is the funyist: “Bible is 100% true- it says so in the Bible”
im a Christian and i find this fine its thar thot and by the way it was the point of the fsm to state that teaching the bible in class was crazy i agrey
jenmi
This guy WINS TEH INTERNET!!LOLZ!!11
TEN TIMES to the nth degree.
Because the Bible says so.
Oh You’ll burn buddy. You’ll burn because I know that your Flying Spaghetti Monster is just a cheap copy of our Lord Cthulhu.
He’s gonna be mighty pissed at you when he arises from the sunken city of R’lyeh to reclaim the earth. He will probably eat you last.
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange æons, even death may die.
“Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn”
“yet He shall rise and His kingdom shall cover the Earth.”
Amen and pass the salt