I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT ANYONE WOULD EVER BUY THIS LOAD OF HORSEHIT YOUR TRYING TO PASS OFF AS A RELIGION YOU GODDAMN FAGGOT - WHY DONT YOU LET JESUS INTO YOUR HEART YOU SON OF A WHORE AND STOP DOING SATANS WORK WITH YOUR RETARTED FAKE RELIGION. I CANT BELEVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU EVEN EXIST AT ALL HAVE FUN GOING TO HELL (AN ETERNAL LAKE OF FIRE IN CASE YOU FORGOT). YOU WANT PROOF THAT JESUS EXISTS? HOW ABOUT THE FACT HE HASN’T KILLED YOU FOR ALL THE FUCKED UP THINGS YOU SAY AND FOR BEING A LIBERAL COCKSUCKER

John Wallace, Falls Church

94 Responses to “I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THAT”


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  1. 81 Wench Nikkiee Nov 30th, 2006 at 4:07 am

    Johnny Cash sang a song call “Ring of Fire”, maybe that is what he means? I know a lot of people said the song was about the after effects of eating too much chilli. The fundies do have a habit of referring to our asses all the time, so that could be it.

  2. 82 Jon E Nov 30th, 2006 at 4:17 am

    Well I always was a bit suspisious of the fundis. Anyone who hates something that much usually has something to hide.

    How about an FSM Metal band? Probably a cross between Monster Magnet and Tool.

  3. 83 tha beast from tha east Dec 14th, 2006 at 6:07 pm

    Even the mormon church, the most conservative major religion in the world allowed its followers to be liberals. As for the cocksucking, it would probably interest you to know that not all liberals are gay… i know, just crushes you inside, doesn’t it?

  4. 84 tha beast from tha east Dec 14th, 2006 at 6:08 pm

    what is a horsehit? somebody please explain it to me!

  5. 85 Dre Aug 6th, 2007 at 9:21 am

    @Jon E
    I know a song called “Lake of Fire” by a band called Nocturnus. But they were not christian. More the opposite actually ;-}

  6. 86 The One True Guy With Black Hair Who Lives In My House Aug 12th, 2007 at 8:19 am

    You’re a christian.
    So forgive us.

  7. 87 El Peatieablo Sep 2nd, 2007 at 12:46 pm

    Wouldn’t Jesus not killing me be proof for his lack of existance more than proof for it?

  8. 88 Etay Sep 2nd, 2007 at 2:56 pm

    Jesus loves me, even if I’m not Christian.

  9. 89 Etay Sep 2nd, 2007 at 3:05 pm

    Or, rather… Jesus loves me, even if I don’t believe in him.

  10. 90 Ann A. Theist Sep 3rd, 2007 at 11:55 am

    I find it sad that so many people have such a strong desire to believe that they are IMMORTAL. That’s all that religion amounts to. Just except the fact that one day you will die and that’s that, and you will become a much more MORAL person. It’s only when we think we will somehow live beyond the grave that we become total a$$HOLES!

  11. 91 Ann A. Theist Sep 3rd, 2007 at 11:59 am

    oops! hope the ‘grammar police’ don’t read my last post. I meant to say - accept the fact that one day you will die…………………SORRY!

  12. 92 bree Jan 7th, 2008 at 4:30 am

    dude what the Frick is your problem do you have that much hate in your heart that you have to put down what other people believe is that really how you want to live your life hating people for what they want to have comfort them in their times of need. You have. Christ is your deity and this is theirs why can’t you leave them alone let them live there lives and they will let you live yours peace on earth people barack the vote!!!!!
    peace out
    Bree

  13. 93 Mikel Ross Jan 26th, 2008 at 3:56 am

    Good job John Wallace you just made more people convert. lol

    We could all say the same that you say about you and your religion but we are peaceful people.

    Keep it up John Wallace

  14. 94 Count Crisco Mar 14th, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    Didn’t Jesus, supposedly, you know… die for the sins and hate of humanity? I think he’s gonna have to do it a few more times before he can make up for all of this hate.
    P.S. USING ALL CAPS LOCK TOTALLY *DOESN’T* MAKE YOU SOUND LIKE AN ASSHOLE WITH ANGER ISSUES.
    Lay of it, man.

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American

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