Yea, your a fucking moron, promoting your fucking stupid ass bullshit of a fucking prick ass bastardly damned Flying Spighetti Monster bullshit on cyberspace. Your fucking playing with people’s fucking head you fucking fucker fucky fuck!!!!!!!!!! You decieving cowardly bitch of hell. Your straying people away from the truth. You sir, are a gigantic fuck. There is no fuck greater than you. As a matter a fact, I should start a cult. The antipastafarins. Yea yea, and the first verse of the book of the AntiPasto shall be, Truths 1:1, “And that piss of a fucker fuck shitter shit Boby Henderson the fuck shall be castrated and his testicales with be thrown down into everlasting fire were they shall burn for a million year, be transfigured into meat balls, and diminished. Then boby henderson will be thrown to the final judgment of the Anti-Pasto. The one killed the Flying Spigetti Monster since the begining.” Thou art truley the greatest fuck to have ever fucked the earth. I mean, how do you fucking sleep at night? Well you can tell your Flying Spighetti Monster this, “Go tell shove your meatballs up someones ass, and your sphigetti up somones teats, for I have a lord, and he is the one true God.” You are truly going to fuck in hell forever. I bet one of the tortures you will endore is having to eat sphigetti for all eterntiy and get fuller and fuller and fatter and fatter until your big fat fucking ass prick self dense the spacial fabric of reality until reality collapses in on itself. O you’ll be in big trouble then you gigantic fuck. You are a fuck, and you will always be a fuck, you fuck. “O boby henderson the fuck, o how he is a great fuck. He is one huge large fuck. The great fuck of fuckerdom. He is satan’s closest friend, burning in hell, till the end. His ass shall be ripped a part, for boby is a giant fuck.” FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! Be castrated you fuck!
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
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Well on the plus side you didnt spout any crap about God’s love. Thank you for at least being consistant. On the other side your parole officer called and wanted to know why you missed your Anger Management classes.
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Jebus, Guido, take your meds already.
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It’s “I” before “E”, except after “C”.
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I have a sudden urge to just say the work fuck over and over again now. Thanks a lot, Guido.
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“It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.”
-Attributed to Mark Twain
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Fuck in hell forever? That doesn’t actually sound so bad. Oh… you meant it in the ‘punishment’ sense… okay. But still. Your hatemail makes me laugh.
RAmen.
~W.A.
P.S.: How do you know it’s the truth? And isn’t that a little extreme for a religious text?
P.P.S.: Guido is still a stupid name, “Gudo”.
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Please tell me this is a joke. If not, I may have to go shoot up a school }:(
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lol. funny how they get so upset over a little parody religion. And i thought the danish cartoons were bad.
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Like driudbros said, atleast he’s consistent. On the other hand, his overuse of the word “fuck” tells us he needs a new dictionary.
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Fuck your brain out, man. Or have you already done that?
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… You spelt “you’re” wrong.
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WOW henderob you used the “F” word more time than Joe Pesci has if you were to combine all of his movies together.
You know there is a more intelligent way of expressing your opposing view points but then again, your lack of intelligence might explain why you are reacting in such a childish manner.
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Beware the coming of the antipasta!!! His noodly appendages are twisted and cold, nothing like the long warm appendages of our creator. On this day, only the true pirates will be able to stomach his evil ways and be able to stand in line for the second coming of the true great pasta, the Flying Spaghetti Monster!!! May we all be touched by his noodly appendage!
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The amusing thing about this is that as far as I can tell, he is admiting that the Flying Spaghetti Monster exists.
“The one killed the Flying Spigetti Monster since the begining.â€
“Well you can tell your Flying Spighetti Monster this…”
That seems to imply that he is accepting the existance of our creator.
That being so, it appears that he has realized the truth of Pastafarianism and is just having a hard time accepting it.
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I have a feeling that someone shall feel the noodly wrath of a certain Spaghetti Monster.
And whoever you are, I have word to say to you.
YARRRRRR!!!
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so Mathew, Mark, Luke, and John aren’t messing with us because they wrote it down on parchment? hmmm….
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I find this funny as hell. Someone needs to get Prozac or Valium. People don’t know the meaning of Sataire anymore, and that makes me sad. Let’s people believe whatever they want and live thier own lives. You’re only giving the rest of us a reason to laugh at the world’s stupidity and inablity to process good humor. Go live your pathetic life in peace.
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Hello…….is the the retard thread?
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I definately recognise this style.
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“Your fucking playing with people’s fucking head you fucking fucker fucky fuck!!!!!!!!!!”
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@Davey Jones……more lyrics for that song you are going to pen Davey
RAmen
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I need to respond to this… can’t stop myself…
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O.K. I’m typing this very slowly in the hopes that you may understand. Clearly your use of the word fuck as a verb, adverb, noun, pronoun, and adjective (did I forget any?) was poetic and clearly shows off your intellectual prowess. Good for you, you can sit at the front of the short bus today; try not to lick the window. You have a lord and he is the one true God… funny I think many different religions claim the same thing, and guess what not a single one of them is anymore right than any other! Neither are these peoples beliefs… that’s why they are beliefs! You don’t have to like anyone else’s, but would not trying to force everyone to drink your kool-aid be too much to ask, you hate filled ignoramus?
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Here I’ll even speak to you on your level: fuck, shit, panties, ass, homo, shitty shit shit, fuck homo! Homo, fuck, queer, frognuts, roasted pigsnot!
I’m paraphrasing but, as a famous comedian once quipped, “If you have to swear [to get a point across], you aren’t trying hard enough.”
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Hey guys, just like to let you all know, if you don’t already, J has got The Letter off.
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Should be interesting to see the response we get.
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Thanks for the update, Jingles. Will be waiting with bells on.
RAmen
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For the extremely offended religious type, you swear a lot. Did you realize that all respect for you is completely and utterly lost when every other word is “fuck”. Infact. I think that all respect for you was lost when we realized somebody forgot to take their medication.
Translated::
Fuck the fucktremely bitchfended fuck-religious type, you swear a fucking lot. Did ass fuck bitch damn you realize that all respect for you is completely and fucking utterly lost fuckwhen every other bitchin word is “fuckfuckfuckfuck”. Infuckact. I think that fuck all respect fuck you was lost when we realized FUCK somebody forgot to take their fuck fuck medication.
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For the extremely offended religious type, you swear a lot. Did you realize that all respect for you is completely and utterly lost when every other word is “fuck”. Infact. I think that all respect for you was lost when we realized somebody forgot to take their medication.
Translated::
Fuck the fucktremely bitchfended fuck-religious type, you swear a fucking lot. Did ass fuck bitch damn you realize that all respect for you is completely and fucking utterly lost fuckwhen every other bitchin word is “fuckfuckfuckfuck”. Infuckact. I think that fuck all respect fuck you was lost when we realized FUCK somebody forgot to take their fuck fuck medication.
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@ Cailin
Now THAT’S sarcasm!
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I do have one question, hypothetically if one Christian, or scientologist, or buddhist, or whatever came into this site and didn’t read the open letter, missed the point entirely, and wrote a polite and respectful letter, would it be treated in kind?
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Judging by the dozens of hate filled threads I don’t expect thas anytime soon, like I said strictly hypothetical…
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I think what this dumb gentleman was trying to say was (in best uppity accent)
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“Dear good sir,
I think, on the behalf of all other idiot fundamentalists, that promoting your Flying Spaghetti Monster is one of the worst things on the World Wide Web. I highly disapprove of your intentions to fill the minds of others with your beliefs! Other fundies consider you spawn of hell. And the fact that you’re straying people away from the truth is despicable. You sir, are a heretic . There is no sin greater than that. In fact, I should start a cult of my own, called The anti-pastafarins. Hmmm, yes, and I think the first verse of the book of the “AntiPasto” shall be, Truths 1:1, “Those who believe in the flying spaghetti monster, or any other deity not of our own, shall be cast into the depths of hell, smoldering for all eternity.†Personally, I think that you are truly the greatest heretic to have ever walked the earth, other than the 4 billion other on-christians on this planet. In short, how do you sleep at night? On behalf of me tell your FSM, “Go tell shove your meatballs up someones ass, and your sphigetti up somones teats, for I have a lord, and he is the one true God.†You are truly going to burn in hell forever. I bet one of the tortures you will endure is having to eat spaghetti for all eternity and get fuller and fuller until your obese body destroys the fabric of the universe. Oh, you’ll be in big trouble then, you unholy heretic. You are a sinner, and you will always be a sinner, you sinner.
“O Bobby Henderson the prophet,
oh how he is a great man.
He is one awesome guy.
The great man of Pa-sta-far-ianism.
He is FSM’s closest friend,
living in stripper heaven,
till the very end.
His soul shall be in pleasure forever,
for bobby is our great prophet.â€
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PS: I, being a fundi, have left out a lot of swear words. My secretary will give you about 75 FUCKS. Please, while receiving those fucks, don’t get the office furniture dirty, it’s made of cherry, and it took me a while to collect it from non-believers homes. Please enjoy them, as my secretary is very undersexed, and will give it to anyone she sees, that dirty slut.”
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Wait, read this:
“You are truly going to fuck in hell forever”
Man, if I get unlimited sexings, I’d want to go to hell too!
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@BrianTheCanuck
“came into this site and didn’t read the open letter, missed the point entirely, and wrote a polite and respectful letter, would it be treated in kind?”
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All of those I have seen have indded been treated in kind. May I suggest reading back into some of the threads.
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Yes, Brian, there have been respectful followers of other faiths who posted civil comments and were (for the most part) treated in kind as Nikkiee has stated. However, finding one can be quite the chore.
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TRIX, thanks for the exquisite translation of the fundys’ mindless mutterings. It is all so much clearer now.
RAmen
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@ Trix.. that was poetry…
@Wench Nikkiee I contemplated slogging through the archives but I realized , as MJK stated, what a chore it would be to find that one letter, so I figured it quicker to ask. I kinda suspected that was going to be the answer, but there are some sharp wits and sharper tongues on this here site… I have backtracked several threads that had been recommended though.
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The thing is Brian, that most all Pastafarins take some offence to those, who enter our church and disseminate beliefs which conflict our own. After all, this is the “Pastafarian” online church.
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“but there are some sharp wits and sharper tongues on this here site…”
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That’s the way we like it…..uh ha..uh ha..
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You ARE a seventies woman, aren’t you.
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It’a not polite to ask a lady her age, but yes.
Was never fond of that song but they thrashed it so much on the radio, it was hard to ignore it.
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Actually, I was not implying your age, I was refering to your taste/experience in music. Forgive me. And I know what you mean about radio thrashing.
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That’s ok, I was just having a dig. I can still out-dance 90% of the uni student crowd.
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I also have a few older brothers, so I got a fairly early start with music “hand me downs”.
RAmen
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Had to learn to run fast when I got caught helping myself, without permission, to their albums a few times as well.
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Guess that makes you a tarty, starchy, and FEISTY cabin wench. The plot thickens. ;)
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“tarty, starchy, and FEISTY cabin wench”
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all good qualities aboard the FSM flagship…
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Wow! This is without doubt the greatest piece of hate mail to be found on this site. I laughed long and hard when I read the open letter, especially the correlation between pirates and global temperature rise. This email is an order of magnitude funnier. Pure comic genius. Perhaps Bobby should forward this on to the Kansas School Board to show them what a good fundamentalist Christian upbringing can do for a man. The spelling, the grammar, the masterful and creative use of profanity it is truly awe inspiring.
-
P.S. TRIX, I also loved the translation.
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“This is without doubt the greatest piece of hate mail to be found on this site.”
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Well I don’t know Coleoptera, it’s a bit neck and neck:
http://www.venganza.org/2005/11/25/listen-dumbass-you-think-that.htm
RAmen
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I’m sure there is another one from this same guy on here somewhere, but I can’t remember the name of the thread offhand.
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-chapter four is done.
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Ahh……here it is http://www.venganza.org/2006/03/25/how-fucking-dare-you-make.htm
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awesome, Penne. we eagerly await the exciting (and inevitably messy) next chapter!
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@Wench Nikkiee:
yeah, Charles McMurrey was the author of the now-legendary “Your god is a homo” thread.
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He sure does show the versatility of the word doesn’t he?
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“now-legendary “Your god is a homo†thread.”
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Yes the “sacred oars”
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Boy,thoes Baldwins get into everything,take a look at this: http://www.netscape.com/viewstory/2006/11/27/a-baldwin-brothers-journey-to-jesus/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fabcnews.go.com%2FNightline%2Fstory%3Fid%3D2662535%26page%3D1&frame=true
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