How fucking dare you make fun of my lord and savior Jesus Christ. He died on the cross for my and your sins you fucking peice of shit. You can’t fucking do that you fucking fuck. Go fuck yourself you fuck!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!! ANTICHRIST!!! YEA, YOUR THE ANTICHRIST YOU FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO GO FUCK UP ISREAL YOU FUCKING FUCK. BOBY BITCHEMSOMS = 666 666 666 PISS WHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR GONA BURN IN HELL FOREVER YOU LARGE FUCK. You are an ass crack. You know what an ass crack is bitch? Thats exactly what you look like. Piss whole!!!!! You should go shuve your face up someon’s fucking ass you fucking fuck of a fucking fucker fucky fuck fuck fucker fucky fucker fucky fucker fucky fuck fuck!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LEADING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE INTO HELL YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DO THAT YOU FUCKING BASTARD GO FUCK YOUR SELF OR FUCK A TREE OR FUCK YOUR WIFE!!!!!!!! GO FUCK THE FLYING SPHIGETTI MONSTER YOU FUCK!!!!!! -Guido Arbia
How fucking dare you make
Published by Bobby Henderson March 25th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 195 Comments
195 Responses to “How fucking dare you make”
@ Guido:
“Maybe you aren’t aware of this, but your belief in the Flying Sphagetti Monster is not in any way a single bit of a threat towards Christianity.â€â€”So why are you still complaining about it?
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“History records that the gospel of Christ has been attacked for centuries, yet it has still stood strongâ€â€”Good for you, pat yourself on the back. Then realize that Judaism, for one, is both older and has suffered a heck of a lot more, and is still around. Buddhism is also extremely old. Christianity actually isn’t that old in comparison.
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“those types of morons do not deserve to be in heaven.â€â€”Who are you to decide that? Isn’t that GOD’S job? Beware, Guido, the deadliest of all sins is pride.
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“God has chosen fools as his children for a reason, and that is to make those who appear wise into complete idiots.â€â€¦â€¦huh?
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“Why should a loving God force heaven upon anyone?â€â€”Why should a loving god condemn—or even CREATE—hell in the first place, if he’s so loving?
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“You seem to bear the misconception that catholics are included under the catagory of Christianity.‖….Uh…they kinda are. They believe in Christ, don’t they? Jeeze, you don’t like non-Christians, you don’t like CHRISTIANS…who DO you like, exactly?
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“The apostle Paul wrote that there would be a falling away from the truth, that many perverted doctrines would arise, and that people would begin to turn away from religion entirely.â€â€”Paul…oh, you mean the murdering guy who hated women? Yeah, I’m really gonna listen to a word he has to say. And ‘perverted doctrines’? If anything, Christianity is the perversion, since they took the already-there Jewish Bible and messed it up even more then it already was.
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“I will ignore many of your other statements, since by looking at them you can easily find their flawsâ€â€”No, you’ll ignore the statements because you have no argument for them. Sad, really.
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“The Apostle Paul wrote in Romansâ€â€”My great-aunt Edna said….no one with half a brain cares what Paul had to say. Just because he wrote it doesn’t mean it’s true.
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Please go worry about eternal damnation somewhere else, please and thank you, us heathens are doing quite fine on our own.
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RAmen, gill!
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Oh, and Guido, we aren’t making fun of your Jesus (he was real), we are poking fun at your god (He’s not real).
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@Guido:
Christianity = Catholic Church + Eastern Orthodoxy + Protestantism
All Catholics are Christians, but not all Christians are Catholics. I can make a Venn diagram for you if it’s not beneath your intellect.
As many phrases in the Bible support Protestantism, just as many support Catholicism. Especially when the Catholic Church in the early days suppressed a lot of gnostic texts and epistles deviating from the linear vision of the Church’s founding fathers. Funny, huh?
There’s been some magnificent Christian-on-Christian bloodshed completely unrelated to the Crusades that has tainted my opinion of Christianity: modern-day-until-last-year-approximately Northern Ireland and Tudor England spring immediately to mind.
I find it abstractly amusing how Christians so easily turn on each other and always find a “lesser” group or person in their own ranks to vilify when it suits their needs, c.f. Ted Haggard and “the Catholics”, despite giving lip service to unconditional acceptance as a major tenet of the religion. You’ve come a long way from those public lion maulings in the Coliseum, baby.
You don’t see the Pastafarians breaking rank and calling each other out except when it comes to arm-wrestling contests or who can drink the most rum, now do you? And even then it is only as an exercise to further glorify The Most Magnificent Tastiness the FSM and bask in the glory of his all-encompassing marinara aura while rejoicing in the companionship and good cheer of those of like mind and spirit.
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Don’t forget Anglicans! We are neither protestant, nor catholic.
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TRIX– Thanks!
For the record, I have no great-aunt Edna. But it seemed to fit anyway.
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Guido must be an evangelical.
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true, guido is just another evangelical dumbass that feels its his god given right to be stupid
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I’d just like to nominate Guido as a representative of the red-necked, ignorant incredibly hostile, confused about his sexuality morons that have been screaming ‘Of course i can, God said so!’ While raping, defiling, shooting, molesting destroying and invading anyone else who hasn’t shut down their independant thought processes.
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I wanted to leave a longer comment, because this thread has been one of the funniest things I have ever read, but my gay male prostitute with my meth has just come to my door, and we need to discuss my next sermon on the evil of gays and drug users to the rest of God’s chosen people.
Long Live FSM!
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Now Guido, don’t go getting your panties in a bunch.
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Now, take it easy on Guido. After all, he did apologized for his initial profanity laced comments, so I give him credit for that. If only he could keep his idea of god off the board and go pray with himself.
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I really hope his anger hasnt turned him off pasta.
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Hi TRIX,
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Ooh, interesting! Feel like I’m about to learn something…
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Anglicans are neither Protestant nor Catholic? Do you mean ‘it’s sort of in the middle’? I’d like to get a handle on this one properly!
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Basically, I thought that Anglicanism fell within Protestantism, in accepting scriptural authority as its basis and chucking out all the ‘well, we just made this bit up for a laugh (and to make money)’ stuff that Catholicism has. But, that it also borrows some of its organisational structures and trappings from Catholicism, having evolved in a country (England) that had officially embraced Protestantism, but that had a population born and bred on Catholicism.
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So, you’ve got the Anglo Catholic branch, which is still Protestant at heart but borrows heavily from Catholicism in practice, and then the low-church, which sticks more closely to biblical authority alone and rather resembles methodism and other strictly protestant churches.
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That basically makes Anglicanism a form of Protestantism, but wearing some of Catholicism’s clothes. Is this wrong?
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@ Guido,
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‘I anticipate that you will say the same about me, and in doing so, you will have proven my predictive capabilities.’
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And I, sadly, predict that nothing we say will ever convince you, irrespective of all the clear evidence and reason in the world. I hope I’m wrong, I really do. But, if not, we’re evens in terms of Predictive Capabilities.
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@ Guido,
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‘The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 1:20:[etc]‘
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Well, of course he did, Guido. That’s not *evidence*. That’s just the author *telling* us to believe. The only thing it demonstrates is that the author wants us to agree with him. Huge surprise there. On the other hand, modern scientically-derived books actually show us *why* something is true, by pointing us to the evidence. Without the books, the things they refer to would still exist. We could go and find them ourselves with a bit of effort – that’s what the scientists do, after all. Take the bible away, though, and how would anyone ever find god? There’s nothing. Nothing.
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@ Guido,
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‘If you think about it logically, a God of love must be more than one person.’
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Why?
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Quick extra point. Go to this page:
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http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/god1.htm
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Read the story, which is an account of recent, real life events. See if you can spot the ‘God of love’.
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awwww this is awesome cant believe i stumbled across this……………people really need to lighten up and get a fucking grip …who knows there may actually be a flying spaghetti monster up in space watching and waiting and judging all those scary creationists …hahahhahahahahah
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@ Hawaii Magnum
Rest assured that there will be plenty of pizza to go with the beer volcanos…after all, pizza goes hand in hand with pasta (the whole sauce thing.)
I just got myself a shirt, too, but waiting for it to ship :(
Mahalo!
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@lyno
‘who knows there may actually be a flying spaghetti monster up in space watching and waiting and judging all those scary creationists’
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There is. His Noodliness has many followers on many planets and is omnipresent throughout the universe.
RAmen
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Hmmmm I think the chappie must be a deranged Boche or something like that.
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I forgot to mention that I have a new shirt.
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and a rather excellent pair of socks from Himleys of Worthington.
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They do cravats as well.
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In blue.
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This is not about your opinion. This is about truth.
You cannot determine why a baby is born speaking about God and being back before anyone ever says anything about God to her. You cannot jump to conclusions of why miracles, so many miracles happened around her that even the priests are amazed. No, you can’t. So those who go around pretending to be know it alls, just who gave you the go ahead to think so?
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Yeah you tell ‘em. Bleedin’ waverers.
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As far as Satanists or atheists go, let’s see how sane they are by acting like anyone else is not. NO, you are cracked.
I am not happy and you act like you’ve done nothing wrong?
Ok, you are imbecilic. You are illogical. You are not even concerned with what makes believers so devoted to Christ.
SO the guy told you off, You do it all the damn time. Hear me? I said damn, that is right. Cause you are acting like you have all the answers. Get a clue and by the way, not everyone thinks like you either. If you saw me praying and saying God heal my lungs Amen and then immediately two handfuls of black goo poured out of my mouth. You might think twice about healing powers of God.
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So what is your point? You keep harping on there is no God yet there are enough believers to say there is a God. Me, for one will never change my mind. Satanists have beaten me, mistreated me, stolen from me, hurt me over and over with evil comments. Why should I like them? They are not nice.
NOT AT ALL> so if I act defensive, I am not letting them hurt me again. I am warning you who did this to me back in school, it will not happen again. Next time, you try that,
you will be sorry.
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It’s excellent, this floating about in cyberspace with my cloak of invisibility and a meat and potato pie.
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Tell Satan to stop victimizing believers, and while you are at it, stop being so assinine.
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wooo
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Truth be told. Oh yes, I swear to God, I know who God is.
I know the truth too. I was born telling my mother that God sent me back. Were you? NO. Are you an expert on dying and reincarnation? No. Are you around those who pray to God and prove he is listening? No. Are you even aware there are those who are in a circle of prayer warriors who know that Mary is back? No. Are you even going to stop making accusations and slandering my good name on here with your ridciculous assumptions? You better.
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Wow. I just love how religious Zealots are so eloquent in their arguments, expressing their points intelligently with facts. Not to mention how polite they are.
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Yes but does Santa have piles? Answer that smarty pants!
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BLR,
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Lay off Satan. Let’s remember who wrote the book about him, God. Taking the Bible’s account of Satan is like claiming you understand Americans because you watch Al Jazeera. Wait, did I just equate Satan with the US?
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Anyway, don’t discount Satan until you get to know him. Invite him over for a BBQ, Saturday night poker, or your favorite nephew’s birthday. Personally, I hung out with Satan last Monday. We had some beers and caught the game on TV. He’s a decent guy, but he did bogart the cheetos.
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OEJ
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“I know the truth too. I was born telling my mother that God sent me back. Were you? NO. Are you an expert on dying and reincarnation? No. Are you around those who pray to God and prove he is listening? No.”
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True. The thing is, *you* aren’t either. But you reminded me that I haven’t been listening to my Madonna album for quite a long time. Thanks Fatima!
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I like Satan, too, although I don’t think he is an American. It is that big, long tail that gets in the way at parties, though, that makes him a less than desirable guest. And, women (and some men) don’t like him as a lover because his come is ice cold. Other than that, he is pretty swell.
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A large number of believers does not a truth make. As you can see by the great numbers that sign up to crew this great galleon of the pastafarian truth.
Many babies are indoctrinated to believe in non-existant truths (of many religions) from the day that they are born.
RAmen
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Sorry, but this is all utter bollocks and I’m off to bed.
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Satan’s not so bad, the christians just want to give him a bad name because he doesn’t believe in them.
RAmen
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In a minute.
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I’m an Atheist and I don’t judge people on the they’re beliefs alone, I prefer to judge on actions and fundamentalist groups of religions tend to more often than not act in an irrational sometimes dangerous way, just look at the ID movement, all it really is is an attempt to convert the whole of the USA to Christianity forcibly.
If they honestly want to be taken seriously they have to start giving REAL evidence, twisting quotes, using antiquated fallen theorys and blatant lies dont count as evidence.
About Satan, I found this interesting little site with infinately more credability than Creation Science:- http://www.bushisantichrist.com/
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that bushisantichrist site is rather cool, huh? i’d be scared f i didn’t think the antichrist was just another alarmist bullshit faerie-tale.
and BLR id still trying to tell us all that she’s the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary, protected by her elite circle of “prayer warriors”? wow. i though scientology was wierd. this woman should be in an asylum.
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Maybe she is an outpatient?
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the problem is that if what she says is true, then you have to take into account the teams of evil demon-assassins sent from Hell to kill her before she can give birth to the second coming. and the dark sorcerers who want to sacrifice her blood to their evil, ancient gods in exchange for power and immortality. and while we’re into all this religio-conspiracy crap, let’s throw some vampires in there. and werewolves. hell, why not faeries as well, since they show up in just as many mythologies.
you see, if religions were telling the truth, there would be so many possibilities for a more interesting world. a world probably something like a blend between Underworld, Constantine and The Crow, but more interesting nonetheless.
i’ll stop embarassing myself with my fondness for cheesey supernatural action-flicks now.
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BLR says…”Ok, you are imbecilic. You are illogical.”
…..Anyone else think that’s rather funny, coming from her?
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Bring back the faeries!
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And the winged dragons.
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Actually, Gill, I find just about EVERYTHING BLR says rather funny.
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Dont you think your being rather harsh? As an unbias observer i think you should loosen up and alow other people to have there say. So what if they belive something different to you? Why is it more probable that the univerce was created by ‘God’ than by ‘a giant sphigetti monster’? Its so judgmental of you to sentence people to eternal damnation for voicing there opinion. And even if you do feel that strongly about something its not acceptable to talk to anyone like that, all they did was highlight the irony of the situation.
You say ‘fuck’ alot. It doesnt reflect well on Christianity.
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