How fucking dare you make fun of my lord and savior Jesus Christ. He died on the cross for my and your sins you fucking peice of shit. You can’t fucking do that you fucking fuck. Go fuck yourself you fuck!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!! ANTICHRIST!!! YEA, YOUR THE ANTICHRIST YOU FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO GO FUCK UP ISREAL YOU FUCKING FUCK. BOBY BITCHEMSOMS = 666 666 666 PISS WHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR GONA BURN IN HELL FOREVER YOU LARGE FUCK. You are an ass crack. You know what an ass crack is bitch? Thats exactly what you look like. Piss whole!!!!! You should go shuve your face up someon’s fucking ass you fucking fuck of a fucking fucker fucky fuck fuck fucker fucky fucker fucky fucker fucky fuck fuck!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LEADING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE INTO HELL YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DO THAT YOU FUCKING BASTARD GO FUCK YOUR SELF OR FUCK A TREE OR FUCK YOUR WIFE!!!!!!!! GO FUCK THE FLYING SPHIGETTI MONSTER YOU FUCK!!!!!! -Guido Arbia
How fucking dare you make
Published by Bobby Henderson March 25th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 195 Comments
195 Responses to “How fucking dare you make”
Dear Guido,
Please refrain from writing comments when you are not on your daily dose of thorizine.
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Wow…right after he sent that comment I bet his head exploded like that guy in “Scanners”
the part I can’t stop laughing at is “YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!!”
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Thats the greatest comment I have ever read in my entire life
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Wasn’t “Guido” the name of that alien that Han Solo killed near the begining of Star Wars IV?
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Wow. I’m without words. He actually sat there at a keyboard and typed “You should go shuve your face up someon’s fucking ass you fucking fuck of a fucking fucker fucky fuck fuck fucker fucky fucker fucky fucker fucky fuck fuck!!!!! ”
How many drafts do you suppose he wrote?
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Ahahahhahahahahaahahahahaah!
This is funnier then anything I’ve seen.
Idiot.
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Midget in Pirate Regalia -
Comments like yours should carry labels: “WARNING: May cause milk to spray out of your nose”. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.
I don’t think it’s a question of how many drafts he wrote, but how many drafts he drank. Budweiser will do that to you.
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Isn’t there some rule in christianity about not swearing?? Maybe I’m wrong. But wow. This guy is completely cracked.
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Oh my! Jesus must be covering his eyes and shaking his head over this one. He’s probably thinking, “Mental note to self – Smite Guido, he’s batshit crazy.”
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” YOUR GONA BURN IN HELL FOREVER YOU LARGE FUCK.”
How is that so? in your religon all we have to do is say a couple hail marys and your on your way to heaven supposedly.
Why are you spamming us anyways, none of your spam will alter our decsion on what to believe. Do you think your god wants you to force people to believe in him? If he created us then why would he give us the ability to think for ourselves and not believe?
Ive been to many chruches/sinagogs/ceremonies with many religions for i was looking for some guidance yet i found the same thing. Every chruch or sinagog i went to, half way through these guys pass around baskets, and no its not to put trash in, they ask you for your money. Lets say a church is about to go broke, isnt that gods will? Why would he want a church that praised him to go broke?
Who wrote the bible? OH lemme guess what your going to say “there were scriptures that depicted his life.” EHH wrong, couldve as easily been a fairy tale or good night story. And yes, there couldve been a man named “god” or “jesus”. OMG you know what would be cool? if we wrote about how david blane did all these cool things and give them stale bread and wine! Maybe there will one day be a religon made for him because the future finds these scriptures and make a bible.
God didn’t make earth/the universe/heaven. He has to BE SOMEWHERE to make something. where was god when he made earth? the universe you may say, where was god when he made the universe? you may say heaven, where was he when he made heaven? mm he had to be somewhere to make something.
So frankly my friend, the FSM is as real as your god.
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Oh my, golly gee! He must be mad or something. Was it something Bobby said?
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what the hell man? chill out will you? crazy fundies…
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this is the funniest thing iv ever read on this website EVER
i can imagine this guildo person typing this comment, his face turning red, the keyboard falling apart, and his ass shitting his pants with the anger and all that shit
hilarious
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Oh gods. . . this is fucking hilarious. . . just the sort of reaction one might expect from somebody who’s brain has been stuffed full of bible belts. . .
My favorite quote – “How fucking dare you make fun of my lord and savior Jesus Christ. He died on the cross for my and your sins you fucking peice of shit. You can’t fucking do that you fucking fuck.”
Well. . . how dare *he* make fun of That which is Noodly? *nod self*
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This is funny!
I’ve never found someone so fond of fucking as him.
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I withdraw my last comment, the next one is worse.
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“Budweiser will do that to you. ”
Yar, and only a landlubber would be botherin’ to drink that swill, ‘nyhow! No pirate worth ‘is salt would wander from Dewar whiskey, Appleton rum, and Guinness long ‘nough to swallow th’ ol’ man’s runoff that is Budweiser!
Unless we be havin’ ‘nother round o’ Alexander Keith’s!
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1.Fuck? Well, sexual intercourse is nice. Please “fuck” me. Would make me happy.
2. Jesus is dead. Very dead. More than 2000 years of dead. He still is, and for every day that passes by, he reaches new levels of dead. He is deader than ever, and by dying twice, he must be just a little more dead than everyone else. However, his death and his rather obscure reasons to reach this level of deadness has very little to do with modern day. He is dead. Get over it.
3. Human beings cannot be “peice of shit” since feces do not think, it is simply piles of remains produced into a brown substance, easy for the body to push out.
4. Bobby is not Antichrist, but those are flattening words.
I am sure he appriciates them.
5.Ass crack? A hole between to buns. Scientific name: Anus
Humans cannot be a crack since then they would be air inbetween the buns, thus void. Bobby is not made of void.
6. Bobby is not a prostitue, ho, whore, harlot, etc. Therefore, the term “bitch” is out of question. Please keep yourself to proper terms when adressing someone outside that type of labor.
7.”Piss whole” is not acceptable english. Please use proper terms.
8.In logical means, one cannot send people to hell since it only exists in tales to frighten children and/or one or two dumbarse.
9. Bastard has several meanings; a type of sword, hybrid, out-of-marriage child, traitor and several others. You probably meant: A sort of muffin.
10.Sphigetti? Who’s that? Some italian guy?
11.There are several words overused and mispelled. Please check these next time. Thank you, FSM is watching over you and will send you to the real actual hell shortly. Have a good day.
12. Gosh, why do I even bother… In other news, Jesus is still dead.
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I’m glad this website exists, it has had me non-stop laughing from all this serious religious debate about a Spaghetti Monster… oh thank you everyone for these wonderful days
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LMFAO wtf?!?! is this guy emptying out his closet on you or somethin? wow.. that was the best comment ever
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You’re a dumb ass.
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You know, just reading this stuff on this site helps me get my daily troubles into perspective. Thanks, Bobby. Love you fan mail.
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Man, these just keep getting better and better :)
Good enthusiasm; nice use of dynamics; but i must say: quite lacking in depth and diversity. Next time try working in something to really catch your reader’s attention and steer clear of such redundant explicatives, there’s plenty to choose from. If you’re struggling for new material, try something in a foreign language. Not only will you break the redundancy of your writing, but you may really grab your reader’s attention by forcing him to stop and wonder about what you’ve said.
Also, the last stanza (and I quote): “GO FUCK YOUR SELF OR FUCK A TREE OR FUCK YOUR WIFE!!!!!!!!”; the first part really reveals a raw, almost furious rage which nearly brought me to tears. And the 8 exclamation points! Brilliant! I could almost feel your anger; that is until I saw “OR FUCK YOUR WIFE” which really shattered the image. Really? “FUCK YOUR WIFE”? Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Remember, you’re trying to induce feelings of guilt and shame, why throw in something that forces your reader’s mind to wander and wonder if the wife’s got a headache again tonight?
All in all, I give it a 6. You have some potential, but you’re going to need to really sit down and do some hard work to be up there with the best.
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I think its time for SOMEONE’s nappie
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This is the stupiest and funniest thing i have read, 38 “Fucks” in one paragraph. I couldn’t stop laughing. However what was the need to be racist??
Just a suggestion, next time put the “fucks” into random different languages like:
spanish-Cogida
German-Bumsen
French-Baise
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Speaking as a lapsed Catholic – He reminds me of our school priest. I think it was rather charming in a ‘Goodfellas’ kind of way – does he stab people with pens??
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Go back to church, ‘Guido’, if that really is your name. If so, that is a fucking stupid name. Notice how I used your own fucking word against you? Look, I did it again! This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. You need a straight jacket to hold all that extra crazy. Fuck.
RAmen.
~W.A.
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Oh man. Oh man. I’m a Christian and that’s why church is bad. It’s full of those. The guy has a 5 word vocabulary and there’s the representative for all Christendom right there. Lay off the Flying Spaghetti Monster man. So what if he has a noodly appendage? Sheesh. What happened to tolerance? I tolerate noodles. I like noodles. I hope linguini strangles that guy in his sleep. Seriously, he deserves it.
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Guido is smarter then your avergae christian.
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I pray to the FSM that He may provide this misguided person with a dictionary, so that they main bask in the glory of words that He has made, aswell as the ability to write a coherent message that doesnt include the word “fuck” every 5 words.
RAmen.
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Fuck!
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I just used the new translate feature on this particularly amusing bit of mail – it’s even funnier in French!
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hey guido how’s it going, i was just wondering if you decide to you know write another comment like that, could you please leave me out of it, just kind of dumb down the whole jesus is on my side type thing you have going on. i just think it best, and so do my lawers, that we should distance ourselves from one another, you understand?
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Another person who doesn’t understand the meaning oof sataire. People enjoy saying fuck waaaay too much. I bet If Jesus would be pastefarian if he were alive right now, cause he sure as hell wouldn’t be Christian.
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Too bad you can’t just ban his IP address from the site or something. But, I think he would just kill himself because it seems he has nothing better to do than to write hate mail towards us. Guido, you are a sad, sad little man.
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I never thought a Christian could be so immature. But there it is, plain as writing can be. Also I do believe you commited approximately 45 sins of that letter “you fucking piece of shit” (as you said). And well I really wouldn’t want to “fuck the flying spaghetti monster” (once again like you stated). His noodly appendages would not allow such an act, and you would be shunned out of our great heaven. RAmen.
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I accidentally responded to the other post entitled “how dare you…” because both posts use curse words, each relating to sexual practice (I believe, although the word “fag” often refers to a pre-rolled cigarette in some cultures).
So please read my response there and apply here, since the content of your posts is pretty similar anyway.
My addendum, since this post seems to be so much more passionate…
Dear Mr. Arbia,
I salute you for representing Christianity with such candor and enthusiasm! You, sir, are a true and shining example of what the Saved, the Blessed, and the Eternally Elite can be with a public school education and weekly catechism.
I salute you.
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Piss whole?? . You know, I myself always try to do that…as opposed to pissing partly…
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Is Guido actually a step ahead of us all? Is it actually a witty parody of hatemail? I really hope so, because as satire, it’s genius. But as hatemail, it’s *rubbish*.
Come on Guido, let us in on the joke…
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ya what a nice christian boy
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Guido, you have been owned by Enlightened, but I bet you wouldn’t even get it if you read his reply to your nonsense.
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I am laughing so much I have tears in my eyes, what the blue rubbery fuck is this boy on?
.
Guido Arbia you have made me laugh thank you, hope you don’t mind that I am laughing at you.
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Somehow, I vaguely think this is a joke….right?
Somebody please tell me this is a joke.
Please?
Regardless, yes, there IS a rule about swearing, mentioned as I recall in Exodus. And if Jesus is so saintly, then why are you, Mr. Arbia, getting so worked up about it? Why do you care? Christians mock pagans and such all the time, in my experience, so why do you get worked up when you even think someone’s doing it to you? And as has been said before, Bobby doesn’t make fun of religion, just ID and the occasionally religious idiots who follow it. Clearly, you are one.
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Fuck!
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“you fucking fuck of a fucking fucker fucky fuck fuck fucker fucky fucker fucky fucker fucky fuck fuck!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!….”
There’s either some very bad drugs in there or this guy really needs some serious medical assessment.
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I’m inclined to think the latter. :D
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How could I have missed this all these months?
I have to disagree with some of you folks: Guido’s love message is the best thing I’ve read in a very long time. It was at the ‘you fucking fuck of a fucking fucker fucky fuck fuck fucker fucky fucker fucky fucker fucky fuck fuck!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!’ that I totally lost it and burst out laughing.
I’m almost speechless, but I think we should give him some kind of award.
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Nikkiee! You liked the same part. Is it bad drugs or pure genius? As with so many other artistic activities, it’s sometimes hard to decide.
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Actually Fr. Corpus Callosum I think Nikkiee’s first comment
.
“fuck”
.
Sums it up better
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“Too bad you can’t just ban his IP address from the site or something.”
No! People like this do all our work for us. They show the world what a bunch of irrational, illiterate, cult following psychpaths the fundis really are.
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