190 Responses to “How fucking dare you make”

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1. 101 gill Nov 13th, 2006 at 8:27 pm

   @ Guido:
   “Maybe you aren’t aware of this, but your belief in the Flying Sphagetti Monster is not in any way a single bit of a threat towards Christianity.”—So why are you still complaining about it?
   -
   “History records that the gospel of Christ has been attacked for centuries, yet it has still stood strong”—Good for you, pat yourself on the back. Then realize that Judaism, for one, is both older and has suffered a heck of a lot more, and is still around. Buddhism is also extremely old. Christianity actually isn’t that old in comparison.
   -
   “those types of morons do not deserve to be in heaven.”—Who are you to decide that? Isn’t that GOD’S job? Beware, Guido, the deadliest of all sins is pride.
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   “God has chosen fools as his children for a reason, and that is to make those who appear wise into complete idiots.”……huh?
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   “Why should a loving God force heaven upon anyone?”—Why should a loving god condemn—or even CREATE—hell in the first place, if he’s so loving?
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   “You seem to bear the misconception that catholics are included under the catagory of Christianity.”–….Uh…they kinda are. They believe in Christ, don’t they? Jeeze, you don’t like non-Christians, you don’t like CHRISTIANS…who DO you like, exactly?
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   “The apostle Paul wrote that there would be a falling away from the truth, that many perverted doctrines would arise, and that people would begin to turn away from religion entirely.”—Paul…oh, you mean the murdering guy who hated women? Yeah, I’m really gonna listen to a word he has to say. And ‘perverted doctrines’? If anything, Christianity is the perversion, since they took the already-there Jewish Bible and messed it up even more then it already was.
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   “I will ignore many of your other statements, since by looking at them you can easily find their flaws”—No, you’ll ignore the statements because you have no argument for them. Sad, really.
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   “The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans”—My great-aunt Edna said….no one with half a brain cares what Paul had to say. Just because he wrote it doesn’t mean it’s true.
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   Please go worry about eternal damnation somewhere else, please and thank you, us heathens are doing quite fine on our own.

2. 102 TRIX Nov 13th, 2006 at 8:44 pm

   RAmen, gill!
   .
   Oh, and Guido, we aren’t making fun of your Jesus (he was real), we are poking fun at your god (He’s not real).
   .

3. 103 celtic goddess Nov 13th, 2006 at 9:01 pm

   @Guido:

   Christianity = Catholic Church + Eastern Orthodoxy + Protestantism

   All Catholics are Christians, but not all Christians are Catholics. I can make a Venn diagram for you if it’s not beneath your intellect.

   As many phrases in the Bible support Protestantism, just as many support Catholicism. Especially when the Catholic Church in the early days suppressed a lot of gnostic texts and epistles deviating from the linear vision of the Church’s founding fathers. Funny, huh?

   There’s been some magnificent Christian-on-Christian bloodshed completely unrelated to the Crusades that has tainted my opinion of Christianity: modern-day-until-last-year-approximately Northern Ireland and Tudor England spring immediately to mind.

   I find it abstractly amusing how Christians so easily turn on each other and always find a “lesser” group or person in their own ranks to vilify when it suits their needs, c.f. Ted Haggard and “the Catholics”, despite giving lip service to unconditional acceptance as a major tenet of the religion. You’ve come a long way from those public lion maulings in the Coliseum, baby.

   You don’t see the Pastafarians breaking rank and calling each other out except when it comes to arm-wrestling contests or who can drink the most rum, now do you? And even then it is only as an exercise to further glorify The Most Magnificent Tastiness the FSM and bask in the glory of his all-encompassing marinara aura while rejoicing in the companionship and good cheer of those of like mind and spirit.

4. 104 TRIX Nov 13th, 2006 at 9:05 pm

   Don’t forget Anglicans! We are neither protestant, nor catholic.

5. 105 gill Nov 13th, 2006 at 9:11 pm

   TRIX– Thanks!

   For the record, I have no great-aunt Edna. But it seemed to fit anyway.

6. 106 Mad John Kidd Nov 13th, 2006 at 9:11 pm

   Guido must be an evangelical.

7. 107 jesus christ Nov 13th, 2006 at 9:14 pm

   true, guido is just another evangelical dumbass that feels its his god given right to be stupid

8. 108 A new Believer Nov 13th, 2006 at 11:12 pm

   I’d just like to nominate Guido as a representative of the red-necked, ignorant incredibly hostile, confused about his sexuality morons that have been screaming ‘Of course i can, God said so!’ While raping, defiling, shooting, molesting destroying and invading anyone else who hasn’t shut down their independant thought processes.

9. 109 1496 Nov 13th, 2006 at 11:40 pm

   I wanted to leave a longer comment, because this thread has been one of the funniest things I have ever read, but my gay male prostitute with my meth has just come to my door, and we need to discuss my next sermon on the evil of gays and drug users to the rest of God’s chosen people.

   Long Live FSM!

10. 110 Drag King Pirante Nov 14th, 2006 at 12:26 am

    Now Guido, don’t go getting your panties in a bunch.

11. 111 Mad John Kidd Nov 14th, 2006 at 12:28 am

    Now, take it easy on Guido. After all, he did apologized for his initial profanity laced comments, so I give him credit for that. If only he could keep his idea of god off the board and go pray with himself.

12. 112 Max Nov 14th, 2006 at 1:39 am

    I really hope his anger hasnt turned him off pasta.

13. 113 J Nov 14th, 2006 at 4:01 am

    Hi TRIX,
    .
    Ooh, interesting! Feel like I’m about to learn something…
    .
    Anglicans are neither Protestant nor Catholic? Do you mean ‘it’s sort of in the middle’? I’d like to get a handle on this one properly!
    .
    Basically, I thought that Anglicanism fell within Protestantism, in accepting scriptural authority as its basis and chucking out all the ‘well, we just made this bit up for a laugh (and to make money)’ stuff that Catholicism has. But, that it also borrows some of its organisational structures and trappings from Catholicism, having evolved in a country (England) that had officially embraced Protestantism, but that had a population born and bred on Catholicism.
    .
    So, you’ve got the Anglo Catholic branch, which is still Protestant at heart but borrows heavily from Catholicism in practice, and then the low-church, which sticks more closely to biblical authority alone and rather resembles methodism and other strictly protestant churches.
    .
    That basically makes Anglicanism a form of Protestantism, but wearing some of Catholicism’s clothes. Is this wrong?

14. 114 J Nov 14th, 2006 at 4:05 am

    @ Guido,
    .
    ‘I anticipate that you will say the same about me, and in doing so, you will have proven my predictive capabilities.’
    .
    And I, sadly, predict that nothing we say will ever convince you, irrespective of all the clear evidence and reason in the world. I hope I’m wrong, I really do. But, if not, we’re evens in terms of Predictive Capabilities.

15. 115 J Nov 14th, 2006 at 4:07 am

    @ Guido,
    .
    ‘The Apostle Paul wrote in Romans 1:20:[etc]’
    .
    Well, of course he did, Guido. That’s not *evidence*. That’s just the author *telling* us to believe. The only thing it demonstrates is that the author wants us to agree with him. Huge surprise there. On the other hand, modern scientically-derived books actually show us *why* something is true, by pointing us to the evidence. Without the books, the things they refer to would still exist. We could go and find them ourselves with a bit of effort - that’s what the scientists do, after all. Take the bible away, though, and how would anyone ever find god? There’s nothing. Nothing.

16. 116 J Nov 14th, 2006 at 4:08 am

    @ Guido,
    .
    ‘If you think about it logically, a God of love must be more than one person.’
    .
    Why?
    .
    Quick extra point. Go to this page:
    .
    http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/god1.htm
    .
    Read the story, which is an account of recent, real life events. See if you can spot the ‘God of love’.

17. 117 lyno Nov 14th, 2006 at 6:27 am

    awwww this is awesome cant believe i stumbled across this……………people really need to lighten up and get a fucking grip …who knows there may actually be a flying spaghetti monster up in space watching and waiting and judging all those scary creationists …hahahhahahahahah

18. 118 Whatsinaname? Nov 14th, 2006 at 8:17 pm

    @ Hawaii Magnum

    Rest assured that there will be plenty of pizza to go with the beer volcanos…after all, pizza goes hand in hand with pasta (the whole sauce thing.)

    I just got myself a shirt, too, but waiting for it to ship :(

    Mahalo!

19. 119 nikkiee Nov 14th, 2006 at 8:47 pm

    @lyno
    ‘who knows there may actually be a flying spaghetti monster up in space watching and waiting and judging all those scary creationists’
    .
    There is. His Noodliness has many followers on many planets and is omnipresent throughout the universe.
    RAmen

20. 120 norman normal Nov 17th, 2006 at 2:15 pm

    Hmmmm I think the chappie must be a deranged Boche or something like that.

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