How fucking dare you make fun of my lord and savior Jesus Christ. He died on the cross for my and your sins you fucking peice of shit. You can’t fucking do that you fucking fuck. Go fuck yourself you fuck!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!! ANTICHRIST!!! YEA, YOUR THE ANTICHRIST YOU FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO GO FUCK UP ISREAL YOU FUCKING FUCK. BOBY BITCHEMSOMS = 666 666 666 PISS WHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR GONA BURN IN HELL FOREVER YOU LARGE FUCK. You are an ass crack. You know what an ass crack is bitch? Thats exactly what you look like. Piss whole!!!!! You should go shuve your face up someon’s fucking ass you fucking fuck of a fucking fucker fucky fuck fuck fucker fucky fucker fucky fucker fucky fuck fuck!!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!! YOUR LEADING THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE INTO HELL YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING RIGHT TO DO THAT YOU FUCKING BASTARD GO FUCK YOUR SELF OR FUCK A TREE OR FUCK YOUR WIFE!!!!!!!! GO FUCK THE FLYING SPHIGETTI MONSTER YOU FUCK!!!!!! -Guido Arbia
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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American
You’re a dumb ass.
You know, just reading this stuff on this site helps me get my daily troubles into perspective. Thanks, Bobby. Love you fan mail.
Man, these just keep getting better and better :)
Good enthusiasm; nice use of dynamics; but i must say: quite lacking in depth and diversity. Next time try working in something to really catch your reader’s attention and steer clear of such redundant explicatives, there’s plenty to choose from. If you’re struggling for new material, try something in a foreign language. Not only will you break the redundancy of your writing, but you may really grab your reader’s attention by forcing him to stop and wonder about what you’ve said.
Also, the last stanza (and I quote): “GO FUCK YOUR SELF OR FUCK A TREE OR FUCK YOUR WIFE!!!!!!!!”; the first part really reveals a raw, almost furious rage which nearly brought me to tears. And the 8 exclamation points! Brilliant! I could almost feel your anger; that is until I saw “OR FUCK YOUR WIFE” which really shattered the image. Really? “FUCK YOUR WIFE”? Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Remember, you’re trying to induce feelings of guilt and shame, why throw in something that forces your reader’s mind to wander and wonder if the wife’s got a headache again tonight?
All in all, I give it a 6. You have some potential, but you’re going to need to really sit down and do some hard work to be up there with the best.
I think its time for SOMEONE’s nappie
This is the stupiest and funniest thing i have read, 38 “Fucks” in one paragraph. I couldn’t stop laughing. However what was the need to be racist??
Just a suggestion, next time put the “fucks” into random different languages like:
spanish-Cogida
German-Bumsen
French-Baise
Speaking as a lapsed Catholic - He reminds me of our school priest. I think it was rather charming in a ‘Goodfellas’ kind of way - does he stab people with pens??
Go back to church, ‘Guido’, if that really is your name. If so, that is a fucking stupid name. Notice how I used your own fucking word against you? Look, I did it again! This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. You need a straight jacket to hold all that extra crazy. Fuck.
RAmen.
~W.A.
Oh man. Oh man. I’m a Christian and that’s why church is bad. It’s full of those. The guy has a 5 word vocabulary and there’s the representative for all Christendom right there. Lay off the Flying Spaghetti Monster man. So what if he has a noodly appendage? Sheesh. What happened to tolerance? I tolerate noodles. I like noodles. I hope linguini strangles that guy in his sleep. Seriously, he deserves it.
Guido is smarter then your avergae christian.
I pray to the FSM that He may provide this misguided person with a dictionary, so that they main bask in the glory of words that He has made, aswell as the ability to write a coherent message that doesnt include the word “fuck” every 5 words.
RAmen.
Fuck!
I just used the new translate feature on this particularly amusing bit of mail - it’s even funnier in French!
hey guido how’s it going, i was just wondering if you decide to you know write another comment like that, could you please leave me out of it, just kind of dumb down the whole jesus is on my side type thing you have going on. i just think it best, and so do my lawers, that we should distance ourselves from one another, you understand?
Another person who doesn’t understand the meaning oof sataire. People enjoy saying fuck waaaay too much. I bet If Jesus would be pastefarian if he were alive right now, cause he sure as hell wouldn’t be Christian.
Too bad you can’t just ban his IP address from the site or something. But, I think he would just kill himself because it seems he has nothing better to do than to write hate mail towards us. Guido, you are a sad, sad little man.
I never thought a Christian could be so immature. But there it is, plain as writing can be. Also I do believe you commited approximately 45 sins of that letter “you fucking piece of shit” (as you said). And well I really wouldn’t want to “fuck the flying spaghetti monster” (once again like you stated). His noodly appendages would not allow such an act, and you would be shunned out of our great heaven. RAmen.
I accidentally responded to the other post entitled “how dare you…” because both posts use curse words, each relating to sexual practice (I believe, although the word “fag” often refers to a pre-rolled cigarette in some cultures).
So please read my response there and apply here, since the content of your posts is pretty similar anyway.
My addendum, since this post seems to be so much more passionate…
Dear Mr. Arbia,
I salute you for representing Christianity with such candor and enthusiasm! You, sir, are a true and shining example of what the Saved, the Blessed, and the Eternally Elite can be with a public school education and weekly catechism.
I salute you.
Piss whole?? . You know, I myself always try to do that…as opposed to pissing partly…
Is Guido actually a step ahead of us all? Is it actually a witty parody of hatemail? I really hope so, because as satire, it’s genius. But as hatemail, it’s *rubbish*.
Come on Guido, let us in on the joke…
ya what a nice christian boy