Dear Bobby Henderson, I understand your condition and I just want you to know you have my utmost sympathy. My name is Leon Riddic. I am a certified psychologist and graduate from the BSI (Brain Studies Institute). When I heard about the Flying Spaghetti Monster phenomenon, a bulb lit up in my head. I knew that who ever was responsible for the invention of the concept of the Flying Spaghetti Monster must be in deep agonizing pain. I knew that they had been afflicted with a terrible wound that could only be healed by our loving lord and savior Jesus Christ.
You see, I’ve examined you based on the four basic temperaments theory (Widely accepted by world renound psychologists.) I’ve been able to pick up suttle clues from your writing style and expression as to your mentality and core character. Based on which temperaments you consist of and other components of your character, I’ve been able to test you against a criteria by which I can classify you under one of 50 psychological categories. It just so happens that you are a Hyprolack.
Hyprolack’s in most cases have been molested as children and evidence shows that you most definitely have been. Their fathers often beat them and shove strange objects up their anus. In most cases, Hyprolacks suffer from sever irreversible brain damage as a result of having incestuous parents. Another words, Bobby Henderson, your mother and father are brother and sister.
You went through a lot of pain growing up. In order to express your deep hatred for your father, you have to deceive millions of people by inventing this mythological creature. You see, the mythological creature represent what you wished you could be (intelligent). It is something that you are obviously not because of brain damage. The millions of people you are deceiving represent yourself. What you are doing is actually trying to deceive your very own self into thinking that your father never molested you, did not commit incest, did not beat you, and that you are intelligent.
One day, your going to die, and when you do, you will be met with eternal retribution. It won’t be because you did not accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal lord and savior. It will be because you are a dum fuck and deserve to burn in hell. There is no hope for one who fits under your category. Everyone who has ever fallen under that category has turned out to be a rapist and a murderer. That is what lies ahead. There is only one solution, but since you will not take it there is no hope. The one solution is you must live in the desert for forty days and eat sand. After that you must do away with this Flying Spaghetti Monster business and accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal lord and savior.
Personally, from my perspective you are doomed. I am extremely glad that your eternal fate will be hell. I can’t wait to see you suffer. I hope the flames that envelop you are extra hot. I hope your testicles ache, and your nipples rust. I want you to know that the whole world hates you. One day, people are going to piss on you and fuck you up. They will break your arms. They will come into your house and castrate you. There is no hope. Your fate is sealed. You have been predestined to serve as a pussy sucker for the rest of eternity. There is nothing you can do. Let this email be a warning unto you.
I just have one thing left to say to you: Bobby Henderson, SUCK MY BIT FAT COCK YOU MOTHER FUCK!
“One day, your going to die, and when you do, you will be met with eternal retribution. It won’t be because you did not accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal lord and savior. It will be because you are a dum fuck and deserve to burn in hell.”
.
According to your bible, not accepting Jesus is the reason he will be going to hell. You are contradicting yourself.
.
Furthermore, according to your bible, you deserve to burn in hell too. You get to go to heaven only because Jesus died for your sins, and not because you are Christian (according to your bible (which I do not believe anyways)). You deserve to be punished, but Jesus got punished for you.
.
Christians are not better people than non-Christians. Even your own bible says that.
.
Christians should at least stop contradicting what the claim to believe, if they don’t want to be ridiculed. Though, they might be ridiculed anyway.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
snort.. huh? oh.. thought you meant why Cyka, as in what does Cyka mean…
Was just an eloquent and classy way of sayin’ “no”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
You get to go to heaven only because Jesus died for your sins, and not because you are Christian (according to your bible (which I do not believe anyways))..
Er…ignore that sentence. It’s at least half wrong.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
After reading the first paragraph, I said, “Bull shit.”
You’re probably some guy trying to convert random people.
Conversion doesn’t work unless you know how to effectively convert someone!
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
“SUCK MY BIT FAT COCK YOU MOTHER FUCK!”
I never knew Christians swear so much before coming on this site. Did Jesus ever talk like this?
.
“So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her you fucking retarded fishermen fags!” John 8:7
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
At first I thought you had an actual chance of making a clever statement. Then I thought that you were just another “I’ll pray for you” person. Then, slowly, sentence by sentence, I started to figure out what you really are: a prick.
And I can’t believe that there are actually Christians who are this violently erratic, but are nevertheless actually quite masterful at tone transition.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
he jackass, no one here but you has mental issues, jesus was a nutjob with a god complex and the FSM is real enough for me.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
This guy’s a PSYCHOLOGIST?!?!?
Where the hell did he get his Ph.D. from, the Trinity Christian College?
“Personally, from my perspective you are doomed. I am extremely glad that your eternal fate will be hell. I can’t wait to see you suffer. I hope the flames that envelop you are extra hot. I hope your testicles ache, and your nipples rust. I want you to know that the whole world hates you. One day, people are going to piss on you and fuck you up. They will break your arms. They will come into your house and castrate you. There is no hope. Your fate is sealed. You have been predestined to serve as a pussy sucker for the rest of eternity. There is nothing you can do. Let this email be a warning unto you.”
He needs a therapist, that’s for sure.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
A real psychologist wouldn’t misspell “subtle”
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
How can you condemn someone to hell if they have suffered a deeply scarring childhood and have brain damage.
They may not even know what they are doing, so it cannot be their fault.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
There is no such condition as a ‘hyprolack’.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
A real psychologist would not try to cure someone with jesus christ, they would try to work out using real evidence, from the persons past to try and figure out what may be wrong with the person and then take the appropriate action via some form of counselling on working to get the person to come to terms with what happened they would certainly not condemn them, yell at them or swear at them.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
What evidence shows that they Bobby has been molested as a child ??
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Bobby is not or has not attempted to deceive millions, he has merely (from what I and most of my colleagues understand) tried to both prove a point and provide some amusement for himself and others.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Many people with brain damage or mental disabilities can be very intelligent, for example the damage may only affect the regions of the brain that control movement.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Calling someone who you claim to have been deeply affected by their childhood a ‘dum fuck’ doesn’t exactly seem like something any certified psychologist would do.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
It is not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s fate will be eternal damnation so how could you possibly know that hell is what awaits Bobby, never mind take comfort in knowing so ??
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
‘I want you to know that the whole world hates you. One day, people are going to piss on you and fuck you up. They will break your arms. They will come into your house and castrate you. There is no hope. Your fate is sealed. You have been predestined to serve as a pussy sucker for the rest of eternity. There is nothing you can do.’
1. This is hardly the thing to be telling some one who you claim to have deep emotional scars.
2. Your opinion is hardly that of the whole world’s, after all there are hundreds of pastafarians in the world.
3. If all these things are going to happen just because he is not a member of your religion, then I’m staying the heck away from any of your churches.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
‘I just have one thing left to say to you: Bobby Henderson, SUCK MY BIT FAT COCK YOU MOTHER FUCK!’
That’s just the sort of thing we want to hear from a certified psychologist trying to represent the christian church on religon to religion discussions, especially when it is directed at someone who he claims to be a emotionally scarred and brain damaged man.
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
Just one more thing. . .
May you be touched by his noodly appendage and forgiven for your slandering, thoughtless degradation of the interwebs and overall rudeness.
RAmen
Like or Dislike:
0 
0
‘I can’t wait to see you suffer.’ This implies that you would be close enough to him during his damnation so that you could see him suffer, implying that you too are suffering in hell, this shows that subconsciously you have a very low self esteem and finally from this I can deduct that you were either bullied or molested by your peers as a young child.
It’s not that nice is it ??
Like or Dislike:
0 
0