Dear Bobby Henderson, I understand your condition and I just want you to know you have my utmost sympathy. My name is Leon Riddic. I am a certified psychologist and graduate from the BSI (Brain Studies Institute). When I heard about the Flying Spaghetti Monster phenomenon, a bulb lit up in my head. I knew that who ever was responsible for the invention of the concept of the Flying Spaghetti Monster must be in deep agonizing pain. I knew that they had been afflicted with a terrible wound that could only be healed by our loving lord and savior Jesus Christ.
You see, I’ve examined you based on the four basic temperaments theory (Widely accepted by world renound psychologists.) I’ve been able to pick up suttle clues from your writing style and expression as to your mentality and core character. Based on which temperaments you consist of and other components of your character, I’ve been able to test you against a criteria by which I can classify you under one of 50 psychological categories. It just so happens that you are a Hyprolack.
Hyprolack’s in most cases have been molested as children and evidence shows that you most definitely have been. Their fathers often beat them and shove strange objects up their anus. In most cases, Hyprolacks suffer from sever irreversible brain damage as a result of having incestuous parents. Another words, Bobby Henderson, your mother and father are brother and sister.
You went through a lot of pain growing up. In order to express your deep hatred for your father, you have to deceive millions of people by inventing this mythological creature. You see, the mythological creature represent what you wished you could be (intelligent). It is something that you are obviously not because of brain damage. The millions of people you are deceiving represent yourself. What you are doing is actually trying to deceive your very own self into thinking that your father never molested you, did not commit incest, did not beat you, and that you are intelligent.
One day, your going to die, and when you do, you will be met with eternal retribution. It won’t be because you did not accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal lord and savior. It will be because you are a dum fuck and deserve to burn in hell. There is no hope for one who fits under your category. Everyone who has ever fallen under that category has turned out to be a rapist and a murderer. That is what lies ahead. There is only one solution, but since you will not take it there is no hope. The one solution is you must live in the desert for forty days and eat sand. After that you must do away with this Flying Spaghetti Monster business and accept Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal lord and savior.
Personally, from my perspective you are doomed. I am extremely glad that your eternal fate will be hell. I can’t wait to see you suffer. I hope the flames that envelop you are extra hot. I hope your testicles ache, and your nipples rust. I want you to know that the whole world hates you. One day, people are going to piss on you and fuck you up. They will break your arms. They will come into your house and castrate you. There is no hope. Your fate is sealed. You have been predestined to serve as a pussy sucker for the rest of eternity. There is nothing you can do. Let this email be a warning unto you.
I just have one thing left to say to you: Bobby Henderson, SUCK MY BIT FAT COCK YOU MOTHER FUCK!
“predestined to serve as a pussy sucker for the rest of eternity” Where do I sign!
.
Hey, wait, you’re not a real psychologist are you!
.
:(
Is one of these “suttle clues” how to spell subtle or renown?
“Another”… In other words, you are the worst psychologist ever.
“One day, your going to die”… and one day, you’re going to learn English.
“Everyone who has ever fallen under that category has turned out to be a rapist and a murderer.” So you have data on literally everybody who has ever been in this category?
“Personally, from my perspective you are doomed.” Personally, from my perspective, you are redundant and repetitious.
“I hope your testicles ache, and your nipples rust.” And you say Bobby has sexual issues in his past?
As a whole, your psychoanalysis seems rather, um, fake.
But what really confuses me is Bobby will suck your “BIT FAT COCK” when, evidently he will be “pussy sucker for the rest of eternity.” HOW CAN HE DO BOTH? I tell ya, this particular conundrum has kept me up at night.
-
*hand goes up in response to thelastpirate*
Bobby is a Hypolack?
Well your argument is just so sound that I guess he must be!
So…does that mean Jesus was a Hypolack too?
Way cool!
Thanks for dragging this thread up!
I just learned a new word today! Woo Hoo!
“Hyprolack” Sweeet!
Things sure have changed since I got an MS in psych.
Is this in the latest DSM?
Oh wow, that was good! I wonder how long it took this guy to copy the words certified psychologist out of the dictionary? Hey PP, could you give us a brief casual analysis of this nutter based on the sexual and incestual acts he has superimposed onto Bobby? and of course the punishments he thinks are fitting for such acts. I think it would be interesting. Please, do tell!
oh yeah and *raises hand*
fucking hell! A thread I’ve not posted on!
Sorted :D
I haven’t posted here either.
@PP
“Things sure have changed since I got an MS in psych.
Is this in the latest DSM?
.
Yeah - they’ve stopped using exorcists these days :D. I think they still burn faggots though.
PS - does MS mean Minimum Sentence?
.
Sorry mate :P
“Alchemist Oct 7th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
@PP
“Things sure have changed since I got an MS in psych.
Is this in the latest DSM?
.
Yeah - they’ve stopped using exorcists these days :D. I think they still burn faggots though.
PS - does MS mean Minimum Sentence?
.
Sorry mate :P”
.
How can I put this… huuummm.
Hey, I know. Fuck You D! I ain’t that old! ;p
.
“Minimum Sentence”
Yea, that’s all you get on a Sunday afternoon.
Catch me on a sober day, I’m sure I’ll have at least 5 more words to add. ;p
@ PP
Hey where’s my analysis? hmm? don’t you know by now that I am a demanding wench? *taps foot impatiently*
Besides, a brief psych eval on this guy will be much funnier if you do it while drunk!
C’mon! Be a sport! Please! *smiles and shows cleavage, holding out an exceptionally good beer*
“Wench Cyka Oct 7th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Oh wow, that was good! I wonder how long it took this guy to copy the words certified psychologist out of the dictionary? Hey PP, could you give us a brief casual analysis of this nutter based on the sexual and incestual acts he has superimposed onto Bobby? and of course the punishments he thinks are fitting for such acts. I think it would be interesting. Please, do tell!
oh yeah and *raises hand*”.
.
Hi Cyka,
I’ve just Analyzed the mail the subject sent in.
Best what I can tell this patient is either:
A: Nutters
B: Nutters with a chocolate coating (Alchemist can elaborate on that).
C: Just another Redneck 14 year-old from the bible belt of America.
(I’d go with the latter myself. Hope this helps)
Nice of this guy to post his sexual fantasy here for us lusty pirates and wenches to read. I don’t even have to go to a porn site for a little titillation.
“Wench Cyka Oct 7th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
@ PP
Hey where’s my analysis?
C’mon! Be a sport! Please! *smiles and shows cleavage, holding out an exceptionally good beer*”
.
Oh crap! You weren’t offering all that before!
You want I will write up a 27 page summary?
Aww cmon, an MS in psych and drunk and thats your best?? I coulda told ya that much!! Ya gotta know this guy has some kinda weird masturbatory ritual, has repressed sexual issues, etc. C’mon! Or is it some kinda legal issue that ya can’t go there even for a little fun? =( guess I’ll just have to go buy a couple books and study it myself then, like I do everything else that piques my interest.
hey that’s more the spirit! somewhere in between would be nice!
“Wench Cyka Oct 7th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Aww cmon, an MS in psych and drunk and thats your best?? I coulda told ya that much!! Ya gotta know this guy has some kinda weird masturbatory ritual, has repressed sexual issues, etc. C’mon! ”
.
After reading all those books you intend to buy, you’ll come back to “C”
“C: Just another Redneck 14 year-old from the bible belt of America.”
.
Sorry I didn’t put many big words in here, but I suck at big words.
They just fancy out to the same answer.
*covers cleavage and chugs the beer, brows furrowed*
I wish Wench Nikkiee were here.
She saves all my posts in some sort of archive.
I’m just too far gone tonite to give you anything spectacular.
Sorry.
.
You could uncover the tits though, I might have a moment. ;p
Nah…sorry PP…not all your posts :(
Only save links to the classics from any of the posters or hate-mailers.
Cheers
refers PP to lick one of lilwench’s popsickles