If I was your creator and you mocked me in this manner I couldn’t think of a hell hot enough for you. It is really sad to think that at Judgement you will be standing in front of God Almighty and he will look at you and say “Depart from me ye worker of iniquity, I never knew you” And to think, God let you be born, blessed you with health and love in your life and with what do you honor Him? With such vile mockeries of his Deity. I am sick to my stomach that my small babies will live in such a disgusting generation where God is no longer the source of strength and power. I should hope that as you mature, have children and they ever are in need of a miracle in their life, that you won’t know whose name to call on. I will. And miracle after miracle I have seen Him perform. It is no coincidence. When you invoke the name of JESUS, Miracles HAPPEN! I pray you find that miracle in your life soon. Read Acts 2:38. Oh I guess the Bible is all made up too, right. In that case, make sure u don’t let anyone get you a present this year! Joanna Rose
If I was your creator
Published by Bobby Henderson January 25th, 2006 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 21 Comments
21 Responses to “If I was your creator”
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But you arn’t his creator, now are you?
Also:
random babble about god/s isn’t going to do anything.
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That’s curious…i’ve had plenty of people invoke Jesus at me, but have yet to see a miracle.
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You expect me to take advice from a blood-sucking, flesh-eating zombie on a stick who claimed that casting loaves of bread into the sea will return a hundred fold? What, pray tell, am I supposed to do with that many loaves of wet bread?
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Make some kick-ass french onion soup.
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does anybody know when judgement dayis? is it a week after veterans day. i hope we get school off that day. if we do, i’ll be happy it’s judgement day
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“When you invoke the name of JESUS, Miracles HAPPEN!”
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So you just, like… no, surely not. Lemme see if I understand this.
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You say “JESUS! GET ME SOME REALLY COOL SHIT RIGHT NOW!”
And Jesus *does it*???
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What, Jesus is like your *bee-atch* now?
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What a load of absolute old bollocks. You are mentally ill. Get help.
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~back after a long spell~
‘
Joanna,
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While I can appreciate your devotion, you seem to miss the point that all that you use to substantiate your beliefs are based on unsubstantiated premises.
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“Oh I guess the Bible is all made up too, right.”
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Umm, yeah, pretty much. And very little of it is supported by verifiable fact.
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Wanting something doesn’t mean you get it, and believing something doesn’t make it true.
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Show me a miracle and I will show you a phenomena. Perhaps I can explain it now, or I can study it and explain it later. Don’t need magic.
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“I should hope that as you mature, have children and they ever are in need of a miracle in their life, that you won’t know whose name to call on.”–Spoken like a true fundi. Now is that being loving, Joanna?
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I guess then, that someone, somewhere must have prayed for an end to the performing of miracles at some point then, at least judging by reality…….
I think the conclusion drawn from the thought experiment (not really sure wether it would be called that as there is some evidence there to back it, but its not really an intentional experiment)
at [ http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/god26.htm ] speaks for itself to be honest.
”Here is the thing that I would like to help you understand. If we assume that God exists, then each of these questions presents us with its own individual mystery. Each question creates a paradox that requires excuses, rationalizations and convoluted explanations. These paradoxes and rationalizations are extremely uncomfortable because they make no sense. If we assume that God exists, then God is ridiculous.
On the other hand, if we assume that God is imaginary, then all of these questions are very easy to answer. Our world makes complete sense. ”
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“If I was your creator and you mocked me in this manner I couldn’t think of a hell hot enough for you.” If I was your creator and I made someone so irredeemably stupid I’d cut my hands off.
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Wow. All this talk of “God” is making me hungry…
I’m going to go make Ramen.
You see? The FSM is always here for me when I need him.
Thank you, lord!
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“I am sick to my stomach that my small babies will live in such a disgusting generation where God is no longer the source of strength and power.” …….Go throw up, then shut up. Teach your children to believe that god is the source of strength and power and scare them into behaving, right? And, when I need a miracle, I will call upon Jerry Falwell, or Mickey Mouse, or maybe even you, Ms. Joanna Rose; because all of you, including Mr. Christ, can make miracles happen equally. You can go play in the street too.
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@Holier-Than-Tou-Ass: Enjoy your meal, and may his Pasta fill your belly and satisfy your hunger.
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@maxwell: This is the danger of the intelligent being corrupted by the church. They have a way of fighting the loosing arguement.
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@Joanna Rose: I admire your commitment to your God and can understand your fear and anger you have toward us, but I cannot believe that your God is so vain to keep us out of heaven for a belief when we still lead good lives. Your book, the Bible is a collection of gospels that were written by man. Perhaps inspired by God, but written by man. The Koran is also inspired by Allah and written by man, why don’t you follow the Muslim faith as well.
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Let me see if I follow this line of reasoning, Joanna
Let me propose for the moment, I am a creator, and have made a world, populated by people (that I ‘created’) plus animals, plants, mountains trees and ‘migits’. Not only that, but I created oxygen to breath in and C02 to exhale (so the plants could do opposite – surely a divine plan), plus microbes, bacteria, viruses and poop. I also created a lifeless satellite (called a moon to throw off all the leftover debris (space junk), from smashing into the earth), a friendly nearby star (sun, if you aren’t following) to warm things up just right to keep the air air and water water, and a lot of other planets, stars and comets for your nightly entertainment. I also told ancient men how this worked rather simply, and often incorrectly.
I also created this same scenario (but didn’t tell you about it right away) about a zillion times over and over all over the known and unknown universe, and did it zillions of years ago cause the light is just now reaching you, creating things so awesome and unbelievable – and you think I’m all that concerned whether you believe in me or not? – Or whether I’m made of ethereal spiritual matter or pasta?
Look at the really really big picture. A kind, loving god or capricious, jealous one simply doesn’t fit into reality.
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“…small babies…”? As opposed to our large ones?
Anyway – the path to heaven is narrow Joanna Rose. Don’t be surprised to hear on judgment day “Depart from me ye judge of men, I never knew you”.
Even Rasta man Bob Marley knew judge not – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judge_Not
Matthew 7:1-5 -”Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye”
John 7:24 – “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge righteous judgment.â€
Luke 6:31 – “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewiseâ€
Basically what I am saying here Joanna is that while your running around condemning all God’s wonderful creation He might be taking notes.
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“If I was your creator ” Then I would ask you to please not drink on the job.
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JoAnna,
It alarms me that you don’t see the effects of religion on your own mind. You’re unable to reason with us so you attempted conversion by coercion. Threaten us with burning in hell, or being excluded from the miracle club and we’ll all crack right? The frightening part is what you’re not seeing. That exact same tactic is the ONLY reason you’re a christian today. Your family did it to you your entire life, as did the generations before them. In fact, it’s the only reason there are so many alleged christians today. The choices given to the people by the catholic church were literally: convert or die. I don’t see much room for compromise in that.
If you believe in miracles, turn your back on modern society and live out on the prairie somewhere. Deny your family running water or access to modern medicine and just pray when you get sick. You’ve got faith right? Quit your job and society and put it to the test. if you can’t, either you’ve still got some rationality left in you that tells you that would be stupid. Or you never had any faith at all, you just tried to convince yourself. Maybe you’re just a coward.
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“If I was your creator and you mocked me in this manner I couldn’t think of a hell hot enough for you.”
Don’t forget the First Commandment! Sin! Sin!
“I am sick to my stomach that my small babies will live in such a disgusting generation where God is no longer the source of strength and power.”
The problem is, you think that God will solve all your problems. Drink milk. It builds strong bones.
“I should hope that as you mature, have children and they ever are in need of a miracle in their life, that you won’t know whose name to call on.”
Are you paying attention? We’ll call on the name of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, of course. Earth to Joanna, do you copy?
“And miracle after miracle I have seen Him perform. It is no coincidence.”
Prove to me that it is not coincidence.
“When you invoke the name of JESUS, Miracles HAPPEN!”
What is he now, my butler? Seriously now.
“In that case, make sure u don’t let anyone get you a present this year!”
Funny thing is, I’ve asked for the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster for Christmas. Just realized how funny that is.
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Dear Joanna,
I sure hope I don’t see a Christmas tree in your house this year, as that is an ancient Celtic, Druidic, yes Pagan custom! Is that a hellbound offense? I guess those with a five – pointed star on top are in the fast lane! Oh and Bless You, but notice I didn’t specify Who!
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A god that torments people for shits and gigles is nothing to be respected, we reserve the right to admit we were wrong, we might be, but we dont force things on people just by saying “if you dont you will burn forever in a firey pit of torment” scaring the little ones to beleive it forever or be tormented for not following bullshit all their lives.
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But you’re not God, or the FSM, now, are you? And God/the FSM/Evolution/etc. either doesn’t have feelings (in the case of evolution) or has a sense of humor, as well as an ounce of kindness.
Ok, I’m going to call on Jesus right now to help me perform a miracle. I will drop a pen on the ground, holding it so it stands up and down. Before doing so I will say the following:
“Jesus, I will accept You as my Lord and Savior and will worship God and God alone. I will renounce the Flying Spaghetti Monster and all other deities, provided that You help me to accomplish a miracle. I will drop this pen on the ground, holding it so it stands vertically. Please, O wonderful Jesus, help me to make this pen land so that the bottom of it lands on the floor, and it stands without falling. You tell us to call upon You and You will help us; now I ask You to perform a miracle. Amen.”
I dropped the pen. It fell on its side.
Jesus, I do not accept you and refuse to believe in you. You did not help me as you promised.
There we go. No Jesus, or else he is a liar when he tells us that he will come when we call him.
Sorry, I never believed in Jesus. This is just a proof that he either doesn’t exist or is dishonest.
Evolution can not be disproven. ID can.
RAmen.
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