The only thing that surprises

The only thing that surprises me about your church is that people are actually paying attention to it. Of course, here I am writing you an e-mail. Although I’m not religious, I think that dipshits like yourself that mock the beliefs of others should be shot. You should get a girlfriend. The fact is (although I know that you’ll think this is ridiculous) that your beliefs are no less religious than Christians. One thing I’ve noticed about us evolutionists is that evolution serves the function of a religion for us. We want to believe in evolution just as much as christians want to believe that Jesus is god. Some of us, however, are reasonable and have nothing against religion or religious people, whereas obnoxious people like yourself make the rest of us look bad. Do you think you actually have the support of the scientific community? We repudiate people like yourself more than anyone else, including ID people. Not one of my professors would support this type of behavior. Some of the greatest thinkers in the world have been Christians. That does not make them right, but I’m pretty sure that there have been many Christians smarter than yourself. Dostoevsky & Kierkegaard for example possessed a genius that makes you and me both look like simpletons. I’m sure your self-involved enough to continue this mockery as long as people will pay attention, but don’t forget that your an amateur being praised by people whose beliefs are as influenced by non-rational forces as Christian’s beliefs are. You should do the rest of us a favor and shut the fuck up.

24 Responses to “The only thing that surprises”


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  1. 21 Johnny Corvette Jan 5th, 2007 at 10:27 am

    Darwin is the God of evolution. I beleive in the FSM.

  2. 22 El Peatieablo Sep 4th, 2007 at 6:10 pm

    If they were actually great thinkers, I doubt they were christian.
    Also, what’s the harm in letting people see their own religious tendencies?

  3. 23 James D King of Pirates Apr 29th, 2008 at 8:02 am

    We have nothing against religion, learn to read, before you hatemail us actually read some stuff, you will learn our purpose.

  4. 24 ME DUH May 10th, 2008 at 9:19 am

    What makes you think we aren’t serious? Quit bashing our religion.

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American

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