No, buddy, YOU are the

No, buddy, YOU are the one who doesn’t have any “deep understanding of Jesus”! As a matter of fact, judging by your site, you have NO understanding of Him. You have put Him in a box, forcing Him to be who YOU think He is. So far, you’ve said absolutely nothing to convince me that what you’re doing with your nonsensical website and “science” talk is proper. I’ve checked out your “website” and on it, you’ve said nothing whatsoever about Jesus, and all you’re doing is making fun of Him by selling your ridiculous spaghetti idea as a “new religion”. I would like you to tell me how a “spaghetti” thing honors Christ! In my opinion, you’re right up there with that satanist in England who sells quirky “Jesus clocks” and T-shirts that show our Savior crucified, etc. Also, please tell me your version of why you think science is more important. From what I can tell, science has replaced the Bible in your eyes. Have you ever read the verse which says that anybody who adds to or subtracts from the Bible is headed for hell? If anything, science has proved the Bible true. See http://www.therefinersfire.org/science_and_bible.htm, http://www.therefinersfire.org/science_bible.htm, http://www.therefinersfire.org/challenging_atheism.htm If you truly believe in Jesus, then you will stop this silliness and get right with God. These are the end times and when Jesus returns, I guarantee you He won’t be laughing about what you’re doing. He’s going to demand an explanation about the things you’ve been doing for Him as a supposed “believer” and judge you accordingly. He commands us to spread the GOSPEL, not some adolescent and ridiculous fantasies that make fun of Him in the name of making a buck! As for the supposed “Christians” who support your website, read Matthew 7:13. Most people will NOT be taking the narrow gate that leads to eternal life; most people will NOT be going to heaven because they’re “lukewarm” and will be spit out of Jesus’ mouth. The “Christians” who support you are going to be laughing out of the other side of their mouths once they’re trembling in His presence…. I am not bound by “dogma”. I am bound by the Word of God. I suggest you find out what that means.

10 Responses to “No, buddy, YOU are the”
  1. 1 - evil eddie - Sep 28th, 2006

    “Have you ever read the verse which says that anybody who adds to or subtracts from the Bible is headed for hell?”

    Hahaha, then everyone who translated the bible will go to hell.

    Oh, and also everyone who wrote a part of the bible will go to hell, because he added this part.

    Idiot.

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  2. 2 - Conor - Sep 28th, 2006

    Yarr ‘dis site be not about ‘yer so called jesus and in no way should it permote him at all, yarr

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  3. 3 - djjack - Sep 28th, 2006

    Oh! Not the end times! I thought our sun wasn’t set to burn out for another 500 billion years or so. And I just put a load of laundry in the washing machine! Whatever will I wear?

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  4. 4 - The Paul - Sep 28th, 2006

    I always find it interesting that the people who hold attitudes like Henderob’s, the ones who are supposedly going to be accepted by Christ… They’re going to maliciously laugh at the suffering of those who aren’t so lucky. They will experience joy at witnessing others being eternally damned.

    In addition: Damned, more or less, for experiencing wonder at God’s creation.

    How many times does Jesus say “love.” in the various gospels? He goes on and on and ON about it. If only a tiny fraction of people are getting into heaven, it won’t be the sort of person who laughs at someone else’s (eternal) pain.

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  5. 5 - Stevee - Sep 29th, 2006

    How wrong can we be we have said nothing about Jesus DOH!!
    How stupid are christians really? (or at least the ones who post on here).
    /
    You haven’t read the sight, you have no perception of whats going on here at all.
    /
    You have no perception of your own religion or your own god.
    /
    Yet again I have to point out the following:
    Judge and ye shall be judged you have commited a crime against your god and on the day of your Judgement I beleive you are in trouble.
    /
    Mathew, Mark, Luke, John and few others never got to heaven then, “anybody who adds to or subtracts from the Bible is headed for hell?” The new testament added to and changed the bible or do you not understand the difference between New and Old.
    /
    Who is “that satanist in England who sells quirky “Jesus clocks” and T-shirts that show our Savior crucified” I’m English I don’t know who this guy is, is he popular, and wasn’t your saviour crucified? so you only like the “nice” dipictions of crucifixtion then? The ones that make churches money.
    /
    What happened to this kind and benign deity who you pray to, who is supposed to love and cherish you.
    /
    So lets total it up,
    You are hypocrite,you have no understanding of what you are talking about, you have been decieved or/and you are a liar.
    Under the terms of your relegion because of what you have posted on here your God is going to judge you when you die and all of your saviours friends never made it to heaven.
    /
    I’m fine thanks for asking, pass the Spaghetti sauce.

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  6. 6 - howthehelldidthatparrotgetinhere - Sep 29th, 2006

    baaaaaa.

    Now Im a sheep.

    baaaaaaah
    baaaaaaah
    baaaaaaah
    baaaaaaah
    baaaaaaah

    Now Im a flock.

    “man these bloody animals are stupid, I wish they would stop trying to think for themselves and wandering off.”

    Now im a shepherd.

    Ramen

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  7. 7 - El Peatieablo - Sep 5th, 2007

    1: “No, buddy, YOU are the one who doesn’t have any “deep understanding of Jesus”!” seems to imply that FSMism said something about jesus, while “I’ve checked out your “website” and on it, you’ve said nothing whatsoever about Jesus” would seem to imply the opposite. Get it straight, dude.

    2: “I’ve checked out your “website” and on it, you’ve said nothing whatsoever about Jesus” – Why are there quotes around the word “website”? Do you not believe that this is a website? As in, this site on the web is only an alleged website?

    3: ““science” talk” Sounds like somebody is upset that we have more than an elementary vocabulary.

    4: By this point I’m wondering if you know how to use the “” symbols. What’s that? You do? Ok, I “believe” you.

    5: We’re not christians, therefore using arguments involving god, jesus, eternal punishment in the christian afterlife, etc. won’t actually work on us. You should try using a logical argument on us next time (assuming you’ve figured that little trick out by then).

    6: “I am not bound by “dogma”. I am bound by the Word of God.” That wasn’t nice; I may have ruptured my spleen from laughing so hard. I’ll send you the medical bill.

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  8. 8 - ☠DutchPastaGuy☠ - Sep 5th, 2007

    @El Peatieablo
    “I’ll send you the medical bill.”
    .
    The author of the original comment is likely to come up with an excuse for not paying like ‘You should have used prayer to get better, it’s free’.

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  9. 9 - James D King of Pirates - Apr 29th, 2008

    what did the christains do if not the same thing, he was no god but you put him on display as your god, he was merely a rabbi that created a cult that would become the hateful bashers you all are.

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  10. 10 - ME DUH - May 10th, 2008

    What a fool. We aren’t Christians, you IDiot. We don’t care about Jesus. Bobby Henderson is wayy better.
    SCIENCE has proved the Bible true?!?!?! My friend, I think you’re confusing “science” with “unreasonable religious beliefs.” And by the way, you just said that Matthew, Luke, and whatever the hell their names were are all going to Hell for writing part of the Bible. Wow. WE know nothing about Jesus?

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American




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