I read your little website,

Published December 5th, 2005 by Bobby Henderson

I read your little website, and I have to admit that it was about the most lame religion I have ever heard. And you’re looking towards forcing that into schools? Pfh. That’s in direct violatoin to the constitution. Freedom of religion. And how would you take legal action? Get the president to force it? Like he would believe it. And how would congress back him up? The most you can do is assemble your little group of ‘believers’ and hold a rally or something. Christianity has millions more belivers than your religion and I can’t wait to see the look on your face when you realize that your FSM will be burning in hell. And all of it’s believers. But enough of the hate mail. Now on to the good stuff. The debate. You have said that you have many religious documents that support the fact that a Flying Bunch of noodles created the universe. I’d like to see these documents? Where are they? You show no proof. You say you have them. Yet where are they? It is one think to say you have them and another thing to show you have them. You show no proof of them. You just said you have them. Anyone can do that. It takes only a person with a brain and conscience to make up a thought like that one. Secondly, you say that there is a relation to the amount of pirates and an increase in global temperature. This is just coincidence. Scientists – that out number your believers – have actually proved, with science, that the increase in global temperature is in DIRECT relation to the release of certain gaseous pollutants that break up the Ozone layer which allows more heat to enter the earth’s atmosphere. Thirdly, the “Political Support” is just quotes from people you twisted to support your opinions. Yet, we have freedom of religion, so you may believe this bunch of crap you call religious. When you are done with this email, please delete it. You may add this to your dumb little site if you like. *The Person who PWN3D your So-Called-Religon* Jon Moths



34 Responses to “I read your little website,”

  1. Varthonai says:

    Looks like I’m going to have to be the centrist Pastafarian again… *sigh*
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    “I read your little website,
    Published by henderob December 5th, 2005 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).
    I read your little website, and I have to admit that it was about the most lame religion I have ever heard. And you’re looking towards forcing that into schools? Pfh. That’s in direct violatoin to the constitution.”
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    I can’t believe that none of you have pointed this fact out yet, but… DUDE, YOU JUST CONFIRMED WHAT PASTAFARIANS STAND FOR! If Pastafarianism can’t be taught as a science in schools, then neither can any other religion. I’m ashamed that this point wasn’t brought up yet.
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    On the other hand, though…
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    “Denigrating Christianity, Judaism, Islam, B’hai, Hinduism, Wicca, etc., in favor of another religion is asinine, as all religions deal with man’s projected fantasies and never with the truth. A religious book is not true because it says it is; a religion is not true because a believer says it is. Where is the proof? Where is the proof?”
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    It takes a lot to get me annoyed, but that just did it. “Proof” is as relative as time is. By your definition of proof, science is just as flawed as any other religion, because even the most amateur scientist learns that science can’t “prove” anything in his first AP class in high school.
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    Denigrating Christianity, Judaism, Islam, B’hai, Hinduism, Wicca, etc., in favor of another religion is asinine, as all religions deal with dream and idea, and dream and idea shape the world and are VERY MUCH the truth. An idea is as real as a solid thing; people dismiss them as illusions because they can’t be touched or heard or tasted or smelled or seen. Ideas have a far greater impact on the world of sentient life than most animate objects do. You are correct that a religious book is not true because it says it is, or because a believer says it is; a religion is true because believers BELIEVE it is.
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    Science is merely one facet of the jewel of belief; it is the side that represents reason and belief of the senses. But senses do not always tell the truth, and the human mind is not exactly free of flaws. No manifestation of belief that comes from a human is more trustworthy than any other.
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    “What lies beyond the grave? I have no idea……..and neither do you.”
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    Well, I don’t know for certain, but I have it narrowed down to a few possibilities. I certainly have an “idea.”
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    “Lolli Popoff Feb 9th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
    Drum roll please…
    Wow von Larson!
    Your profound logic and knowledge blows me away!
    I’m going to stop coming to this site now!
    Thanks for telling me the truth!
    Ramen”
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    The naiveté of many Pastafarians is almost as annoying as that of the fundamentalists. Please–”profound logic” is an oxymoron. By its very definition, logic is obvious; profundity is only found in subtleties.
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    On top of that, NOTHING that von Larson said was profound; it just appealed to the opinions of the Pastafarians and repeated their ideas, while using good grammar and sentence structure to give it a more educated feel. Nothing is said in this forum that is profound. Well, at least nothing that we thought of OURSELVES. If I have ever inadvertently said something profound, give the credit to Neil Gaiman (and, of course, to my Noodly Lord the FSM, may his Appendage ever bless us.)
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    “There is no historical proof that the Old Testament is anything more than a re-hash of the ancient Gilgamesh Epic and a fictionalized genealogy of the Jews. There is no historical proof that ‘Jesus’ ever existed.”
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    …………………………………………………….hr. Hrrah. Hahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! BUAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA! HA! Oh, humanity, you never cease to amaze me. Hohoho, hehe.
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    Can I quote you on that? I can honestly say that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard this century. Even the atheist-est of the atheist historians will admit that Christ existed, even if he didn’t perform any miracles. As for the Old Testament, that’s not so certain… but there’s still a good 5 or 6 archaelogical discoveries that show ancient records of similar events. I wouldn’t compare it to the Epic of Gilgamesh, though; I don’t think they’re alike at all in any way, and I would very much appreciate it if you could explain the parallels you saw between the two when you read them.
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    But I have to say–never in my ENTIRE LIFE have I heard someone actually deny that Christ existed. I’ve heard plenty of people say that he wasn’t the Messiah. I’ve heard people say that he was born because Mary cheated on Joseph and used the “He’s God’s child, I didn’t cheat on you” excuse to avoid punishment (and to be honest, I think that’s probably true) but I have NEVER heard someone openly deny his existence! von Larson, you talk of “proof” but you’ll deny centuries of dedicated work by historians? It sounds like the only kind of proof you’ll accept is proof that confirms your beliefs. Which is, of course, exactly what fundamentalists do; they’ll scream and rant against the evils of evolution and science until a scientist finds a piece of evidence that has a slight inclination toward the ID theory. What if a scientist uncovered IRREFUTABLE proof that God does, in fact, exist? Admit it; you’d start devoting all your resources to proving him wrong. Maybe you’re even proud of that fact.
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    Don’t get me wrong, I dislike fundamentalists as much as the next guy; but I’m no hypocrite. I won’t use a fundamentalist trick to defend my own beliefs. I respect that you’re arguing on my side, von Larson, but I’m not going to appreciate your help unless you’re willing to argue intelligently.

  2. von Larson says:

    Nikolai Lenin once stated that ‘Religion is the opiate of the people’. Lenin had only half of the equation………….wasting your time having ‘faith’ in religious matters that lack all proof is as much of a waste of time as paying high prices for a sports event and then screaming your lungs out at a team playing a game which you’re too out of shape to play yourself but at which you still presume to be the referee as to how it should be done. I would suggest to all of you—-and I do mean all of you—-that you put down the religious books, forget the sports events (which benefit no one but the team owners and the stadium managers), and try living in the real world without either religion or sports as your crutches. Standing on your own two feet may be a radical change in your lifestyle, but it’s worth a try. *I would also suggest that the limp-wrists who whimper that they have ‘faith’ stop blaming people like me for bursting their bubble of self-delusion. It’s either now or later, but you’ll eventually have to face Truth and Reality on their own terms, and you won’t be able to offer your ‘faith’ as proof or justification to the contrary. ###And did anyone notice that ‘VARTHONAI’, while laughing his/her/its/their tail off over the very idea that I would question the historical existence of ‘Jesus Christ’, STILL OFFERS NO PROOF that he did? Typical of the religious convulsionary to scoff at rational people while evading the real question of the HISTORICAL PROOF, of which there is none. As for no one else EVER having said such a thing, I would mention that such writers as G.R.S. Mead, G.A. Wells, J.M. Robertson, John Allegro, and Abelard Reuchlin have all written rational accounts of how—-and why—-there is no historical proof for the existence of Jesus Christ or his circle of Apostles or the rest of the myth. This is the last time I will be wasting my own time explaining any of this in this blogsite; I have more realistic things to do. If anyone wants me, I’ll be in the real world. I’ve already had to lower myself to get to this level; now let’s see if you can climb up to mine. End of transmission.

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  4. Jason says:

    First of all, Christians have no more proof that there religion is any more right than our own beliefs – a gospel obviously does not count or Moths wouuldn’t be so quick to discredit us. However we do have proof, we have a chart. He may try to disprove it using science, but if Christians have taught us anything its that science is full of crap.
    And lastly, Christians may currently outnumber us, but Moths fails to look back in history at the fact that Chrstians numbered only in the dozens during Jesus’ time and it wasn’t till after his death that the fiath became more than a simple cult. So, given time, we pastafarians should see a rise in followers once prophet Bobby dies at a ripe old age with a beer in one hand an a stripper in the other as a martyr to our faith. Also, does anyone know any dictators, similar to Constantine, who could help our religion out by making it a state religion…I think that will help alot.

    To Moths — may his noodly apendige molest your heart

    Ramen

  5. El Peatieablo says:

    1: We don’t provide proof? I’ll provide the proof once the IDots/christians do.
    2: Pirates and Global temperature are correlated (I’ll debate you on if there is a causal relationship, but pretty much anything can be correlated).
    3: We have “political support”? Honestly, I haven’t seen it yet.
    4: Yay for freedom of religion. Go tell that to the IDiots.
    5: Disagreement does not constitute pwnage.

  6. Peter Popoff says:

    It’s old, this thread.
    But we have proof, charts dude.

  7. Dagwood Gum says:

    In case my prior reply failed to post, go to Zeitgeistmovie dot com for the bigger picture on religion. While it fails to cover Spaghettianity or the Secret Order of VonLarsonites, it does put all religion in its proper perspective.

    “AND THE SELLOUT CROWD CHEERS ON”!

  8. James D King of Pirates says:

    aparently you read nothing, we are saying that if ID is put into science class, than ours should be to as there is the same evidence for both.

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