LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE SO COOL BECAUSE YOU THINK SOME PUSSY SPAGHETTI MONSTER RULES THE FUCKING WORLD YOU STUPID FUCK YOU NEED TO FIND JESUS YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TAKE MY ASS IN TO ON COMMING TRAFFIC AND LET EVERYBODY KILL YOUR ASS. AND YOU BETTER PRAY TO YOUR GOD THAT I DON’T FIND BECAUSE IF I DO I’M GOING TO JAM AN OAR UP YOUR ASS NEVER MIND I’M SURE YOUR HOMO BOYFRIEND DOES THAT ANYWAY YOU FUCKING DICK. DOES YOUR ASS HURT BECAUSE IF IT DOES THAT MEANS THAT AN OAR IS ALREADY BEEN IN THERE. AND IF I SEE THAT LAST SUPPER PICTURE AGIAN I’M GOING TO PUT ANOTHER OAR UP YOUR ASS AND YOUR GOING TO LOOK FUCKING STUPID WITH TWO OARS JAMMED UP YOUR ASS. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR A PUSSY AND YOUR HOMO BOYFRIEND IS A PUSSY AND YOUR SISTERS A PUSSY AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY ARE PUSSYS BUT YOUR MOMS NOT SHE A FUCKING IDIOT FOR HAVING YOUR ASS. MY GOD WOULD BITCH SLAP THE HELL OUT OF YOUR FUCKING PUSSY ASS GOD AND SEND THAT MOTHERFUCKER BACK TO HELL AND I HOPE YOU ARE WITH HIM SO YOU AND HIM CAN BURN FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIVES AND THEN YOUR FOLLOWERS WILL SEE WHAT A PUSSY YOUR GOD REALLY IS AND THEY WILL TURN TO MY GOD FOR AWNSERS ABOUT WHAT YOU DID AND I WILL TELL THEM THAT YOU WERE A FUCKING HOMO AND SO WAS YOUR GOD. AND IF YOU TRY YOUR SHIT IN HELL THE DEVIL WILL LIKE IT BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING HOMO TO HIM AND YOUR GOD ARE FUCK HOMO’S TOGETHER AND THEY FUCK YOU UP THE ASS. GOD BLESS SIGNED CHARLES MCMURREY
LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT
Published by Bobby Henderson November 25th, 2005 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 167 Comments
167 Responses to “LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT”
did you read the bit on Pat Robertson?
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No Who is Pat Robertson?
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http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/01/02/robertson.predictions.ap/index.html
Now, THIS guy is a tosser…..
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“Controversial statements are not new to the 75-year-old Robertson.
He has suggested in the past that a meteor could strike Florida because of unofficial “Gay Days” at Disney World, and that feminism caused women to kill their children, practice witchcraft and become lesbians. “
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I think I prefer Nostradamus on the whole.
And to think we are just concerned about oars when there are people with their whole heads stuck up their arses!
Doctor! We need a cranial extractor stat!
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and that feminism caused women to kill their children, practice witchcraft and become lesbians. “…..
Oh, I knew I was doing something wrong! No wonder, I forgot to kill my children, practise witchcraft and become a lesbian.
Dammit – all that wasted time being a mother, wife and nurse, when I could have been a lesbian child killing witch.
Ho hum.
And God throwing meteors out the pram at Disney World eh? – guess San Fransisco is next then!
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Ok. Robertson calls for the assassination of Hugo Chavez (admittedly not my favorite dictator, but..). Intolerant, CHECK. Has his own ‘news’ program to spread his filthy, slanted view of the world. Pushy, preachy, CHECK. Thinks people should be smited because of sexual orientation. All hung up on sex, CHECK. Feminism creates witches. Voodoo, magical bulls*it, CHECK. Yep, he’s a christian thru and thru. As far as I’m concerned, this whack-job is a dangerous to the common man as a bomb-toting jihadist.
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i know that hugo chavez is an asshole in every respect, but i have to admit that the chavez assasination is a very weak part of his career (but hey, what isn’t). if you call for an assasination in public, do you actually expect it to go well. hell no.
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Oh my head hurts. FSM save us from these insane evilangel cults pleeeeaase.
CNN classy news.. gurrh :(
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Yar Booty, yer a nurse you say? Me too! Me field is Psychiatry, what yers?
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You obviously missed the bits up above, I work in urology – willies mainly for prostate resections, but we do seem to get an awful lot of people with strange foreign objects up certain places as well, one of the interesting aspects of a career working with people, you definitely see all sorts!
My husband works for BT installing and repairing broadband, and he sees all sorts too – he knows where all the local brothels are, which I am sure comes in handy for something ;)
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By the way, sorry if I seem to be disappearing all the time, I have a very demanding 4 year old yelling for attention – obviously doesn’t know I am a lesbian child murdering witch, maybe that would make him behave a bit better ;)
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“he knows where all the local brothels are…” Yikes!
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@
“And to think we are just concerned about oars when there are people with their whole heads stuck up their arses!
Doctor! We need a cranial extractor stat!”
Indeed there are and indeed we do. :O
http://www.rabid-squirrel.com/
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It is a good job I am not drinking tea or I would have just ruined my laptop!
Oh, don’t worry about the brothels – he gets put off just going into Hooters! Besides, I keep him busy ;)
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hahahahaha I had a similar reaction. maybe you should pin it up on to the wall at work.
You know, to distract the “willies mainly for prostate resections” …take their minds off things a bit.
“he knows where all the local brothels are, which I am sure comes in handy for something ;)”
I suggest supplying him with a set of mugshots of high profile evilangel pastas.
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I believe he is quoting the Bible – Facicians 4:31 – “and verily I sayith onto you I’M GOING TO JAM AN OAR UP YOUR ASS and the word became wood. And the golden oars were used unto him. And the splitters hurtithâ€.
Ramen
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Ok dude, you need to find Jesus. I personally don’t care if you express your opinion but watch the language if you claim to love Jesus!
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Jesus, please save us from your followers. Fsm can you have a word to jesus about this.
Pleeease
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“Ok dude, you need to find Jesus. I personally don’t care if you express your opinion but watch the language if you claim to love Jesus! ” Oh SHIT! I didn’t know he was even missing!?! Thanks for telling me what to do in the name of jesus. Now, go and buy yourself an oar, and insert……………
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I now have a new favourite pirate themed threat…..
“I’ll stick two oars up yer arse, yaarrghh!!!”
And a follow up………
“Yaarrghh!!! How d’ye like that boyo? D’ye think ye have room for another?”
I’d like to thank the original poster for the inspiration and I look forward to trying them out as soon as possible.
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I think that, should the flying spaghetti monster exist, that he may have put Charles McMurrey here to test the belief of his followers.
Sorta like how creationists think god put dinosaur fossils in the ground to test them.
But then again, maybe not.
As Bill Hicks would have said “I don’t like the idea of The Flying Spaghetti Monster fucking with my head!!!”
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Find Jesus – I didn’t even know he was missing – absolute classic!
Isn’t he supposed to be omnipresent – bit of a mistake there!
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Dear, Dear Mary-kate and Ashley or whatever,
What, pray tell, may happen to me if I don’t find jesus?
Signed,
Bi-Curious
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have you guys found me yet
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i was behind the sofa the whole time
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@Maxwell – and what happens now we have found him?
Do we get to hide next? Or is is musical chairs now?
Hi Jesus! Good hiding place! Just brush the dog hairs off….
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always hiding, aren’t you Jesus?
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aha! i can leave messages again! posting errors be damned!
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sorry. moment of jubilation there. it’s good to be back, though it’s a shame the same old hate mails are the only ones around.
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Jesus christ! You scared the stuffin out of Britany and Avril, or whatever. They were like, ‘where’s jesus?” and like “you better find jesus”, and I was like “shut-up!”. I get to hide now……And I’ll be really disappointed if like I dont see like “where’s Maxwell” from everybody.
RAmen
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I bet Maxwell chooses somewhere really lame to hide, like under the table or something ;) Mind the spilt tomato sauce!
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This is a stupid game. You guys peeked, you saw me hide under the table. You guys cheat! I’m not playing anymore!
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Yay! Lets play spin the bottle – bagsy I get to drink it first!
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Mom! Jesus and Booty are cheating! Jesus hid behind the couch and broke the lamp! He said his dad would buy you a new one! Then Booty swore!
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Reposting from rumandmonkey.com:
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Let’s Lose Jesus!
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A group of twelve people is let loose in a shopping mall, fairground, or other similarly well-populated location. Jesus is among them, and he won’t shut up! The aim of the game is to quietly slip away without him noticing. The last person to be stuck with Jesus is the loser and has to be converted to Catholicism.
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Oh bollocks – I thought you said your folks were out?
I am soooooo going to get grounded!
Someone tell Jesus – I think he went off to snog Mary-Kate and Ashley!
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Booty said “IF YOU TRY YOUR SH*T IN HELL THE DEVIL WILL LIKE IT BECAUSE HE’S A FU*KING HOMO TO HIM AND YOUR GOD ARE FU*K HOMO’S TOGETHER AND THEY FU*K YOU UP THE A*S”…Only without the asterisks! She’s talking like a CHRISTIAN!
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Now that is just going too far!
I never!
How dare you call me a Christian you, you, you OAR-LOVER you!
*mutter* I was going to make the bottle land pointing to you on purpose as well, prat /*mutter*
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Well, let’s not get hasty. I mean, I didn’t mean it. We can still play. MOM! Booty didn’t say those things! She said she lied and said she said them, but she really didnt, cause she was lying. Jesus said them! And he’s snogging with Jessica and Mary-kate! (snogging means kissing?)
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I’m not sure if it matters or not, but I saw jesus kissing santa clause.
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Snogging means french kissing – as in lots of tongues and don’t come up for air more than once an hour. They haven’t got as far as shagging yet ;)
Well, OK, but you have to pretend you don’t know I am cheating, otherwise it wont work!
Now where do your folks hide the key to the drinks cabinet?
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Yeah Peter, they’ve been hot for each other ever since jesus got nailed by the romans while Santa watched. Sick.
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The keys are in my pocket…. ;)
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Well, don’t expect me to get them – just yet ;)
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At least that’s how I understood it from the Gospel of Santa. “….mine eyes fell upon the shivering, un-clothed body. Glistening with sweat, buttocks clenched, then relaxed. His chest heaving with laboured breath. The hideous 3-legged Roman monster was to have his way……..
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PMSL @ getting nailed by the romans!
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I always wondered where the oars came from.
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I can be patient.
Hurry up!
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Repeat after me Maxwell – I must not use the internet for reading slash…
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PMSL?
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