LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE SO COOL BECAUSE YOU THINK SOME PUSSY SPAGHETTI MONSTER RULES THE FUCKING WORLD YOU STUPID FUCK YOU NEED TO FIND JESUS YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TAKE MY ASS IN TO ON COMMING TRAFFIC AND LET EVERYBODY KILL YOUR ASS. AND YOU BETTER PRAY TO YOUR GOD THAT I DON’T FIND BECAUSE IF I DO I’M GOING TO JAM AN OAR UP YOUR ASS NEVER MIND I’M SURE YOUR HOMO BOYFRIEND DOES THAT ANYWAY YOU FUCKING DICK. DOES YOUR ASS HURT BECAUSE IF IT DOES THAT MEANS THAT AN OAR IS ALREADY BEEN IN THERE. AND IF I SEE THAT LAST SUPPER PICTURE AGIAN I’M GOING TO PUT ANOTHER OAR UP YOUR ASS AND YOUR GOING TO LOOK FUCKING STUPID WITH TWO OARS JAMMED UP YOUR ASS. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR A PUSSY AND YOUR HOMO BOYFRIEND IS A PUSSY AND YOUR SISTERS A PUSSY AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY ARE PUSSYS BUT YOUR MOMS NOT SHE A FUCKING IDIOT FOR HAVING YOUR ASS. MY GOD WOULD BITCH SLAP THE HELL OUT OF YOUR FUCKING PUSSY ASS GOD AND SEND THAT MOTHERFUCKER BACK TO HELL AND I HOPE YOU ARE WITH HIM SO YOU AND HIM CAN BURN FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIVES AND THEN YOUR FOLLOWERS WILL SEE WHAT A PUSSY YOUR GOD REALLY IS AND THEY WILL TURN TO MY GOD FOR AWNSERS ABOUT WHAT YOU DID AND I WILL TELL THEM THAT YOU WERE A FUCKING HOMO AND SO WAS YOUR GOD. AND IF YOU TRY YOUR SHIT IN HELL THE DEVIL WILL LIKE IT BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING HOMO TO HIM AND YOUR GOD ARE FUCK HOMO’S TOGETHER AND THEY FUCK YOU UP THE ASS. GOD BLESS SIGNED CHARLES MCMURREY
LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT
Published by Bobby Henderson November 25th, 2005 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism). 167 Comments
167 Responses to “LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT”
Hey Charles your caps lock is on. And I am just wondering if you talk like that in church?
I’m guessing the answer is no, if you even attend church. Or maybe its the one you and your half-sister got married in. And the reason you should not have done that is because I think you are just a little more focused on HOMO and COCK. I think you would be a lot happier with your fishing/hunting buddy as your wife.
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You’re gonna get fucked up the ass by Lucifer after I shove oars up there!
But ya know,
God bless!
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OMGZ
Who has the caps lock on?
Someone’s in trouble now.
By the way what is up with the latest fetish for sticking oars up people’s asses?
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LOL,
Hypocrisy in action!
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Caps lock for the love of FSM please remember to switch off your caps lock. I’d of thought that this was obvious given the fact that you could probably see that everything on your screen was in capital letter.
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CHARLES MCMURREY I’d also like to say that I am glad you found God whilst you were in prison!
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CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!!1!!
Yah, why oars? That REALLY, REALLY, not cool.
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PS: You’re really stupid, aren’t you?
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Ahhh……ding ding…that is where the other two oars came from.
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“YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR A PUSSY AND YOUR HOMO BOYFRIEND IS A PUSSY AND YOUR SISTERS A PUSSY AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY ARE PUSSYS…..”
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Meoww
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For the follow up story, please visit:
http://www.venganza.org/2006/08/03/your-god-is-a-homo.htm
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One more oar and they’ll be four. You won’t have to go around in circles anymore bobby.
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“GOD BLESS SIGNED CHARLES MCMURREY”
Ahh….nice ending.
RAmen Charlie
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Hahahahahaha! Oh, this is great. Oars AND female genitalia. But, the sad thing is that this guy will grow up to be Trent Lott.
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Who is Trent Lott?
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I think your obsession with genitalia is a bit unhealthy, Mr ( or is that Miss? ) Mcmurrey.
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Don’t worry, our God blesses you too. And he also hopes you will remember that caps lock is not supposed to be on when you type.
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As a side note, please not try to vomit all over the site again…Whoops, that was just your typing. My mistake.
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Praise the pasta nad pass the parmesan.
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May the sauce be with you.
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RAmen.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trent_Lott
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oow…yukky!
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Well put Charles. I think I’ll go to church tonight, so eloquent was your evangelising.
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So this is where the oar-up-the-butt thing came from. Well, I guess if one you’re into that type of thing, you can contact Charles because he seems to know how to do it properly. What else am I missing by not going to whatever church this guy attends?
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“TWO OARS JAMMED UP YOUR ASS”
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One of the best lines ever, no doubt he is considered a geniuos debater within church circles.
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Probably on the Mass debating team. Sorry
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Well, it has to be said, going around jamming oars up people’s butts is almost certainly a very effective way of widening the circle of one’s friends (in a manner of speaking) :-)
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Hahaha. Like it.
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Hey Charles, id just like to say on behalf of all of my friends, christian, jewish, muslim, agnostic and athiest, “shut the hell up!” Of course he’d look like an idiot with two oars up his ass, but what would you look like as the person doing the ramming, anyway, have fun explaining to jesus why the stupid motherfuckers down here on earth need to find him when you get to those pearlies, peace out dude :-)
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Having given the original posting a thorough re-read, I am now so terrified that Christian thugs will abuse my poor ringpiece with oars that I am going to have to institute a “shoot first, search the cold corpses for evidence of oar-possession later” policy.
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I wonder how it’d play in court?
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Prosecution: Please tell the court why you executed every last member of the congregation on that fateful morning, Mr Davey.
Me: Certainly I will, lad. ‘Twas because I was greatly afeared that if I didn’t give ‘em broadsides first, they’d savage me death-star with oars, yer honour! I was what yer’d call traumatised, see. I’d been threatened by Christians on numerous occasions, whilst goin’ about discharging me duties as a pirate. They’re all oar perverts, I tells ‘ee! Yarrrr!
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D’you think full pirate regalia might put me in contempt of court, though?
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Saucy – I thing they’re going on a boating weekend in December. I’d give it a miss though.
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To Mr. McChristian
I’m not too sure about this, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Jesus preach about tolerance, forgiving the transgressions of others, love thy neighbor, judge not, and all that. Might I humbly suggest you take a look at your own faith and re-evalute your position in it? You are hate filled, ignorant, and your use of fuck as a verb, prounoun, noun, adjective, etc. is simply sad. And if I was a Christian I would be embarrassed as hell to have someone as vocal as you representing me!
As for your talk about all of us going to hell, don’t worry Chuckles, we’ll save ya seat, because with all that psuedotough talk of violence and hate Ol’ Mr. Splitfoot is gonna get you long before he considers me.
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Oh… I forgot the big one! “Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself”-The late J.C.
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Apparrently Mr. Chuck wants to be with many “Homos” and have a boat oar rammed up his posterior… I think that’s a little weird, but to each their own…
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Nurse! The patient has failed to take his sedatives again!
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HEY I CAN WRITE IN CAPS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen hun, I know a thing or too about your dear Jesus, and I’m sure he doesn’t want his Christian Pal’s like yourself goin’ around shovin’ oars up peoples asses.
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Fable……you mean it’s not in the holey book? I thought there may have been an oar reference in one of the latest versions.
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Hey Charles, I have some news: Now don’t panic or anything, but you are gay. Everybody knows it. It’s no big deal, at least not here in the real world.
But of course, you live in a world all of your own, so I’m sure you know what you have to do. Just try to be considerate of others and don’t let the oars sticking out of your ass hit anybody else as you jump off the cliff.
Thanks!
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@Dr Plaid: “don’t let the oars sticking out of your ass hit anybody else as you jump off the cliff”. Heh heh .. would it not be meet if he landed in silt and became fossilized? One can just imagine palaeontologists in the future finding the mysterious remains, unsure if they’ve discovered the missing link between man and Archaeopteryx. Oooo .. even better if they were Young Earth Creationists who thought they’d unearthed a ‘fallen angel’.
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hahahaha…….
RAmen
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I’m a little confused here. Good hate mail though, we’re probably providing a public service helping people work through their repressed rage generated by internal conflict with their homosexual tendancies. Although for self confessed homophobes they do seem preoccupied with arses (note UK spelling).
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My main point of confusion is why exactly they think we’d be bothered by being gay? it’s kind of like calling someone tall for an insult. more to the point if they truly believe, then their deity of choice is responsible for creating people that way – surely they should consider taking it up with him at the earliest opportunity. dont’t let us detain you from trying!
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PMSL!
Thanks for bumping this Spider!
People like this worry about being gay because in their scary bigotted little world gays are threatening and alarming, after all they are soooo gorgeous gay people are bound to find them irresistible ;)
On a related note I have always been mildly disappointed not to be chatted up by someone of the same sex, it is a bit of an insult that you aren’t attractive enough really ;)
These loving and caring Christians (?!) feel that calling someone gay is the worst insult EVAR! Whereas I think most of us would be more alarmed if someone said we were homophobic or bigotted or that we had a humour deficit.
We have recently moved from Gillingham in Kent where the graffiti always accused people of being gay – to which our response was always “Good for them, I hope they are being careful!”
I think you may have a point with the “protesting too much” bit though, he does go on, doesn’t he?
And do they have any idea how hard it is to get hold of oars when you live in the middle of the country? I mean, I might enjoy an oar up my arse, don’t know, never tried, haven’t seen them advertised on the adult toys sites though, so it must be quite a specialised occupation ;)
And, being a nurse in the urology department you do tend to come across the most “popular” activities quite frequently – when they don’t quite go to plan anyway, I am sure I would have heard if oars had become popular lately ;)
Thanks for the giggle this morning. :)
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I’m sure Jesus would be very proud of you for saying that!
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@Booty
“I mean, I might enjoy an oar up my arse, don’t know, never tried, haven’t seen them advertised on the adult toys sites though, so it must be quite a specialised occupation ;)
And, being a nurse in the urology department you do tend to come across the most “popular†activities quite frequently….”
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Hahahahaha………….hahaha
I love the oars posts too. Always good to see them pop up (in?) ocassionally for a fresh
insertion.
RAmen
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Now there’s an image!
I certainly have witnessed my fair share of foreign bodies in interesting orifices – here’s a tip – if you like putting padlocks around certain parts of your anatomy DON’T THROW THE KEY AWAY! We had to call a locksmith out for one guy – and he charged him a callout fee, and left his card! PMSL! Obviously we have the NHS over here, so the fact he charged him we all found highly amusing :)
I love my job :)
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No doubt, the key was misplaced during all the excitement. :O
Hahahahaha…..how embarrassing….hahahaha
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Oh no, not at all, he was completely unabashed and had deliberately thrown the key away as part of the “game”.
He was told it would cost him again if he did it again though!
Funnily enough the NHS don’t employ locksmiths – maybe they should!
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While extraction of an oar may be right up the alley (so to speak) of your department, I’m assuming a refit would be considered a cosmetic procedure and would require a rather costly specialist. I wonder what such a specialist would be listed under in the phone directory?
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I realise one could always call Charles, but what if your lucky and live a long, long, long way away from him? Or are very very lucky, like me, and live in another country?
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I hope !!!!
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Oh yes, we mostly specialise in extraction, although certain medical appliances can be implanted as well (I am thinking for people who have erectile dysfunction or who have had a testicle removed for whatever reason) I would think an oar implanter would indeed be very specialised, and would be unlikely to be covered expenses wise by the NHS, unless you can prove that it is utterly ruining your life and causing you psychological distress by not having an oar there – could be tricky to prove ;) Maybe I should ring up one of the clinics on Harley Street and see if they provide this service, and maybe we could get discounts if we can show it is an aspect of our religion (or at least, certain people seem to think it should be – very similar to the Hell trip really, the logistics just haven’t been thought through by our Christian “advisors” – they haven’t thought much through really ;) )
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“unless you can prove that it is utterly ruining your life and causing you psychological distress by not having an oar there – could be tricky to prove ;)
One Oared Marc certainly did not seem himself when he removed his oar, so as to entrust it to TLM, and was waiting on another to be refurbished. We’ll have to have him detail to us just how badly this experience affected him. Though since he has been re-oared, I have noticed a definate renewal of spirit and sense of identity.
Perhaps we could also get Charlie and others to verify that they really believe we need oars up our arses. Charlie being a good god botherer and all, should stand his above eloquent testimony in good stead.
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“AND THEY WILL TURN TO MY GOD FOR AWNSERS ABOUT WHAT YOU DID AND I WILL TELL THEM THAT YOU WERE A FUCKING HOMO AND SO WAS YOUR GOD.” Ok, lemmie see if I got this right. You will be standing next to god, and he/she/it will be asking you about the souls standing before him, and you get to tell god about who is a ‘homo’ and who is not. Then, he asks you how to spel ‘answers’, and you can respond “A-W-N-S-E-R-S”. Yep, we are definately right. FSM is our creator. cause ur god wood haf 2 b stoopider than u 2 hav u their 2 advise him/her/it. Plunge your head into the gas stove and breathe deeply.
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Howdy Nikky!
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Those loving xtians obviously believe it will help us to achieve the holier than thou attitude they so cherish. Must be where the expression ’stick up their arse’ came from in the first place. The bigger the stick, the more holier than thou. Makes such perfect sense, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before.
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And it makes a lot of sense of the complaining about others having a speck when they have a plank thing – wait, have I got the wrong orifice?!
Maybe it is good for your muscles to row with an oar up your arse?
Have we considered how this might help to sail the pirate ship?
At the very least we would have a good supply of oars!
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Hahahahahahaha
@Maxwell
Hi Maxwell
As you can see Booty and I are contemplating the ins and outs of oarology.
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Oars, yes. It seems that Charles has conjured up the most vile punishment he can think of. One so horrible that only non-believers should be subject to it. So painful and humiliating that it be reserved for the worst-of-the-worst heathens. It sounds like Charles has experienced this oar-ass thing before. I’m wondering if he was ‘touched’ by an angel, or maybe a priest?
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“I’m wondering if he was ‘touched’ by an angel, or maybe a priest?”
I’m sure Charlie’s evilangel church would have been very proud of him, so maybe they rewarded him with both.
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