LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT

Published by henderob November 25th, 2005 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE SO COOL BECAUSE YOU THINK SOME PUSSY SPAGHETTI MONSTER RULES THE FUCKING WORLD YOU STUPID FUCK YOU NEED TO FIND JESUS YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER. IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TAKE MY ASS IN TO ON COMMING TRAFFIC AND LET EVERYBODY KILL YOUR ASS. AND YOU BETTER PRAY TO YOUR GOD THAT I DON’T FIND BECAUSE IF I DO I’M GOING TO JAM AN OAR UP YOUR ASS NEVER MIND I’M SURE YOUR HOMO BOYFRIEND DOES THAT ANYWAY YOU FUCKING DICK. DOES YOUR ASS HURT BECAUSE IF IT DOES THAT MEANS THAT AN OAR IS ALREADY BEEN IN THERE. AND IF I SEE THAT LAST SUPPER PICTURE AGIAN I’M GOING TO PUT ANOTHER OAR UP YOUR ASS AND YOUR GOING TO LOOK FUCKING STUPID WITH TWO OARS JAMMED UP YOUR ASS. YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR A PUSSY AND YOUR HOMO BOYFRIEND IS A PUSSY AND YOUR SISTERS A PUSSY AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY ARE PUSSYS BUT YOUR MOMS NOT SHE A FUCKING IDIOT FOR HAVING YOUR ASS. MY GOD WOULD BITCH SLAP THE HELL OUT OF YOUR FUCKING PUSSY ASS GOD AND SEND THAT MOTHERFUCKER BACK TO HELL AND I HOPE YOU ARE WITH HIM SO YOU AND HIM CAN BURN FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIVES AND THEN YOUR FOLLOWERS WILL SEE WHAT A PUSSY YOUR GOD REALLY IS AND THEY WILL TURN TO MY GOD FOR AWNSERS ABOUT WHAT YOU DID AND I WILL TELL THEM THAT YOU WERE A FUCKING HOMO AND SO WAS YOUR GOD. AND IF YOU TRY YOUR SHIT IN HELL THE DEVIL WILL LIKE IT BECAUSE HE’S A FUCKING HOMO TO HIM AND YOUR GOD ARE FUCK HOMO’S TOGETHER AND THEY FUCK YOU UP THE ASS. GOD BLESS SIGNED CHARLES MCMURREY

158 Responses to “LISTEN DUMBASS YOU THINK THAT”

1. 21 - November 19th, 2006 at 11:57 am - leave my spaghetti alone Says:
   
   

   Hey Charles, id just like to say on behalf of all of my friends, christian, jewish, muslim, agnostic and athiest, “shut the hell up!” Of course he’d look like an idiot with two oars up his ass, but what would you look like as the person doing the ramming, anyway, have fun explaining to jesus why the stupid motherfuckers down here on earth need to find him when you get to those pearlies, peace out dude :-)

2. 22 - November 19th, 2006 at 12:13 pm - Davey Jones' Hacker Says:
   
   

   Having given the original posting a thorough re-read, I am now so terrified that Christian thugs will abuse my poor ringpiece with oars that I am going to have to institute a “shoot first, search the cold corpses for evidence of oar-possession later” policy.
   .
   I wonder how it’d play in court?
   .
   Prosecution: Please tell the court why you executed every last member of the congregation on that fateful morning, Mr Davey.
   Me: Certainly I will, lad. ‘Twas because I was greatly afeared that if I didn’t give ‘em broadsides first, they’d savage me death-star with oars, yer honour! I was what yer’d call traumatised, see. I’d been threatened by Christians on numerous occasions, whilst goin’ about discharging me duties as a pirate. They’re all oar perverts, I tells ‘ee! Yarrrr!
   .
   D’you think full pirate regalia might put me in contempt of court, though?

3. 23 - November 19th, 2006 at 12:33 pm - Alchemist Says:
   
   

   Saucy - I thing they’re going on a boating weekend in December. I’d give it a miss though.

4. 24 - November 19th, 2006 at 1:22 pm - BrianTheCanuck Says:
   
   

   To Mr. McChristian
   I’m not too sure about this, correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Jesus preach about tolerance, forgiving the transgressions of others, love thy neighbor, judge not, and all that. Might I humbly suggest you take a look at your own faith and re-evalute your position in it? You are hate filled, ignorant, and your use of fuck as a verb, prounoun, noun, adjective, etc. is simply sad. And if I was a Christian I would be embarrassed as hell to have someone as vocal as you representing me!
   As for your talk about all of us going to hell, don’t worry Chuckles, we’ll save ya seat, because with all that psuedotough talk of violence and hate Ol’ Mr. Splitfoot is gonna get you long before he considers me.

5. 25 - November 19th, 2006 at 1:26 pm - BrianTheCanuck Says:
   
   

   Oh… I forgot the big one! “Do unto others as you would have done unto yourself”-The late J.C.
   .
   Apparrently Mr. Chuck wants to be with many “Homos” and have a boat oar rammed up his posterior… I think that’s a little weird, but to each their own…

6. 26 - November 19th, 2006 at 1:39 pm - AJ Says:
   
   

   Nurse! The patient has failed to take his sedatives again!

7. 27 - November 21st, 2006 at 2:10 pm - Fable Says:
   
   

   HEY I CAN WRITE IN CAPS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
   Listen hun, I know a thing or too about your dear Jesus, and I’m sure he doesn’t want his Christian Pal’s like yourself goin’ around shovin’ oars up peoples asses.

8. 28 - November 27th, 2006 at 9:35 am - Wench Nikkiee Says:
   
   

   Fable……you mean it’s not in the holey book? I thought there may have been an oar reference in one of the latest versions.

9. 29 - December 3rd, 2006 at 3:20 pm - Dr Plaid Says:
   
   

   Hey Charles, I have some news: Now don’t panic or anything, but you are gay. Everybody knows it. It’s no big deal, at least not here in the real world.

   But of course, you live in a world all of your own, so I’m sure you know what you have to do. Just try to be considerate of others and don’t let the oars sticking out of your ass hit anybody else as you jump off the cliff.

   Thanks!

10. 30 - December 3rd, 2006 at 4:56 pm - moochie Says:
    
    

    @Dr Plaid: “don’t let the oars sticking out of your ass hit anybody else as you jump off the cliff”. Heh heh .. would it not be meet if he landed in silt and became fossilized? One can just imagine palaeontologists in the future finding the mysterious remains, unsure if they’ve discovered the missing link between man and Archaeopteryx. Oooo .. even better if they were Young Earth Creationists who thought they’d unearthed a ‘fallen angel’.

11. 31 - December 3rd, 2006 at 5:33 pm - Wench Nikkiee Says:
    
    

    hahahaha…….
    RAmen

12. 32 - January 3rd, 2007 at 1:04 am - spider Says:
    
    

    I’m a little confused here. Good hate mail though, we’re probably providing a public service helping people work through their repressed rage generated by internal conflict with their homosexual tendancies. Although for self confessed homophobes they do seem preoccupied with arses (note UK spelling).
    .
    My main point of confusion is why exactly they think we’d be bothered by being gay? it’s kind of like calling someone tall for an insult. more to the point if they truly believe, then their deity of choice is responsible for creating people that way - surely they should consider taking it up with him at the earliest opportunity. dont’t let us detain you from trying!

13. 33 - January 3rd, 2007 at 4:04 am - Booty Says:
    
    

    PMSL!
    Thanks for bumping this Spider!
    People like this worry about being gay because in their scary bigotted little world gays are threatening and alarming, after all they are soooo gorgeous gay people are bound to find them irresistible ;)
    On a related note I have always been mildly disappointed not to be chatted up by someone of the same sex, it is a bit of an insult that you aren’t attractive enough really ;)
    These loving and caring Christians (?!) feel that calling someone gay is the worst insult EVAR! Whereas I think most of us would be more alarmed if someone said we were homophobic or bigotted or that we had a humour deficit.
    We have recently moved from Gillingham in Kent where the graffiti always accused people of being gay - to which our response was always “Good for them, I hope they are being careful!”
    I think you may have a point with the “protesting too much” bit though, he does go on, doesn’t he?
    And do they have any idea how hard it is to get hold of oars when you live in the middle of the country? I mean, I might enjoy an oar up my arse, don’t know, never tried, haven’t seen them advertised on the adult toys sites though, so it must be quite a specialised occupation ;)
    And, being a nurse in the urology department you do tend to come across the most “popular” activities quite frequently - when they don’t quite go to plan anyway, I am sure I would have heard if oars had become popular lately ;)
    Thanks for the giggle this morning. :)

14. 34 - January 3rd, 2007 at 4:11 am - MarkusMaximus Says:
    
    

    I’m sure Jesus would be very proud of you for saying that!

15. 35 - January 3rd, 2007 at 4:31 am - Wench Nikky Says:
    
    

    @Booty
    “I mean, I might enjoy an oar up my arse, don’t know, never tried, haven’t seen them advertised on the adult toys sites though, so it must be quite a specialised occupation ;)
    And, being a nurse in the urology department you do tend to come across the most “popular” activities quite frequently….”
    .
    Hahahahaha………….hahaha
    I love the oars posts too. Always good to see them pop up (in?) ocassionally for a fresh
    insertion.
    RAmen

16. 36 - January 3rd, 2007 at 4:48 am - Booty Says:
    
    

    Now there’s an image!
    I certainly have witnessed my fair share of foreign bodies in interesting orifices - here’s a tip - if you like putting padlocks around certain parts of your anatomy DON’T THROW THE KEY AWAY! We had to call a locksmith out for one guy - and he charged him a callout fee, and left his card! PMSL! Obviously we have the NHS over here, so the fact he charged him we all found highly amusing :)
    I love my job :)

17. 37 - January 3rd, 2007 at 5:30 am - Wench Nikky Says:
    
    

    No doubt, the key was misplaced during all the excitement. :O
    Hahahahaha…..how embarrassing….hahahaha

18. 38 - January 3rd, 2007 at 5:35 am - Booty Says:
    
    

    Oh no, not at all, he was completely unabashed and had deliberately thrown the key away as part of the “game”.
    He was told it would cost him again if he did it again though!
    Funnily enough the NHS don’t employ locksmiths - maybe they should!

19. 39 - January 3rd, 2007 at 5:37 am - Wench Nikky Says:
    
    

    While extraction of an oar may be right up the alley (so to speak) of your department, I’m assuming a refit would be considered a cosmetic procedure and would require a rather costly specialist. I wonder what such a specialist would be listed under in the phone directory?

20. 40 - January 3rd, 2007 at 5:44 am - Wench Nikky Says:
    
    

    I realise one could always call Charles, but what if your lucky and live a long, long, long way away from him? Or are very very lucky, like me, and live in another country?

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