Dear Mr. Henderson: I understand

Dear Mr. Henderson:

I understand that it is easy to poke fun at Creationists without endangering the shattering of your evolution fan tasty. Nevertheless I had hoped a man with your keen sense of humor and self-proclaimed desperation for employment) would get his fellow believers to sponsor him in a Quixotic quest for ten grand by winning the Life Science Prize.

Reality is that you have no evidence, not Star Wars, not swords, not pitchforks, not pointed shoes, nothing. When you failed to contend for the Life Science Prize it proves you are just another evolutionist who is all bluff and no science, or as they say in the Southwest, all hat and no ranch.

Your Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is closer to real science than evolutionism because spaghetti does exist. Evolution is completely absent in the universe today, always has been, always will be. Every item associated with humans, animals and plants are creations, always have been, always will be. Creation is science because it is observable by billions of people trillions of times, always has been, always will be.

Do you understand?

Sincerely, Karl Priest

95 Responses to “Dear Mr. Henderson: I understand”


Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 » Show All

  1. 1 Werefox Alchemist Sep 30th, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    One word: dinosaurs. Do YOU understand? No. No, I rather think you don’t. Go burn in your Hell, anti-evolutionsit bastard.

  2. 2 Mythos Sep 30th, 2006 at 11:49 pm

    “Evolution is completely absent in the universe today, always has been, always will be. Every item associated with humans, animals and plants are creations, always have been, always will be. Creation is science because it is observable by billions of people trillions of times, always has been, always will be.”

    On the first count I would in part agree with you but only to the extent evolution seems to be absent in the modern world today. You see in the modern world today what we see with a large portion of humans is almost Darwin’s theorem in reverse, instead of survival of the fittest it seems in this day and age to be survival of the most idiotic. Neither Creationism nor ID are science, nor are they a theory, they are nothing more than bastardized forms of the Judeo/Christian creation mythology; how many times do you idiots have to be told that?! Evolution can be seen quite easily even in modern times when you take the time to look at what is there for us to research, specifically DNA. Look at how close the DNA is for various species and it makes it obvious the interrelation of all species. Evolution does NOT mean humans evolved directly from apes but rather that we evolved due to a branching of that species. This IS both theory AND science. Now I suggest you go learn the difference between mythology and scientific theory.

  3. 3 Not Me Nov 28th, 2006 at 2:54 am

    @ Mythos

    Disease, don’t forget disease! Viruses are constantly mutating and adapting to the vaccines and antibotics we’re throwing at them. Some of the same strans of baccteria that were killed by this one medicine are no longer. That’s because they’re evolving.. not because God is popping them into existance very VERY slowly so as no one will notice.

  4. 4 Jon E Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:15 am

    I can’t remember where I saw the report, but it was in the last few weeks, but evolution on the microbacterial level has now been observed in real time. So stuff you to all those “Creation is the truth” types.

  5. 5 Mad John Kidd Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:27 am

    Jon E

    Many ID/creatonists don’t have a problem with “microevolution”, they just can’t see it on the larger scale as “macroevolution”. They are part of the same process. If you accept the one, then you should accept the other. They seem to be hung up on the idea that if true, then their god cannot exist, even though evolution makes no such claim.

  6. 6 Coleoptera Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:31 am

    The aids virus is an excellent example of evolution in action. The progression of the virus through populations is so well tracked that we can identify when and where strains diverged. You can download a podcast of a talk called “Why creationism is wrong and evolution is right” from the Royal Society of London website. The speaker, Professor Steve Jones, uses the evolution of the aids virus as an example.

    Here is the address if you are interested:
    http://www.royalsoc.ac.uk/page.asp?id=3966

  7. 7 Jon E Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:32 am

    Dawkin described macroevolution as being a series of multiple microevolutions. So as you say, you can’t have one without the other.

    Most of these people want things both ways. They want the products of modern medicine, but they don’t want to accept how it was developed.

    I know people who are prime examples of this. I know a creationist who has to have regular botox injections for a rather nasty and debilitating condition. If she didn’t have the injections then her life would be utterly misserable. But she will never accept that the treatment that she has is only available because of advances in medicine due to an understanding of evolutionary biology.

    Generally these people are total hypocrits.

  8. 8 Wench Nikkiee Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:34 am

    @Do you understand?
    Sincerely, Karl Priest
    .
    No Karl!
    .
    Orhh…I thought we had a rush on. This is an old post.
    RAmen

  9. 9 Homo narrans Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:37 am

    i look at posts like this, and i shudder to think what the future holds for serious science.
    .
    give it 50 years, and the only evolutionists in america will be locked down in atheist survival compounds in the desert, defending their lives and beliefs with automatic weapons.

  10. 10 Mad John Kidd Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:41 am

    @ Nikkiee

    Felt good to let it out though, didn’t it?

    .

    @ Coleoptera

    Isn’t Coleoptera the Order of beetles, if my memory serves me correctly?

  11. 11 Jon E Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:43 am

    Scary. The idea of atheists having to set up survivalist comunes. Probably get raided by the theist stazi on a regular basis.

  12. 12 Wench Nikkiee Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:51 am

    No I think the tide is turning. That is why they are getting so desperate to bastardise science.
    .
    @Mad John
    Always feels good Mad John. :) I’m more than a few brain cells run terrified into hiding, when subjected to these posts, though.
    By the way did you see the link to the results of a “belief survey” I posted on “What’s good about atheism thread? That will cheer you up. Australia gets a special mention too.

  13. 13 Wench Nikkiee Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:52 am

    @ Coleoptera
    Isn’t Coleoptera the Order of beetles, if my memory serves me correctly?
    .
    Water beetles?

  14. 14 Coleoptera Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:54 am

    @Mad John Kidd,
    yes it is. I started my time here as Peg Leg Dave. I changed my pseudonym when I remembered JBS Haldane’s quip “God has an inordinate fondness of beetles” after he was asked what his studies had revealed about the nature of God.

  15. 15 Mad John Kidd Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:56 am

    Yes, I did see that post. I may just find myself taking up refuge Downunder if these fundis don’t get out of the gene pool.

  16. 16 Mad John Kidd Nov 28th, 2006 at 4:59 am

    All beetles, Nikkiee.

    Welcome back, reincarnated Peg Leg.

  17. 17 Coleoptera Nov 28th, 2006 at 5:00 am

    @Wench Nikkiee
    all beetles. I am not an entomologist but I am pretty sure aquatic beetles are represented by several beetle families. Also, some terrestrial beetles have aquatic larvae.

  18. 18 Coleoptera Nov 28th, 2006 at 5:01 am

    @Mad John Kidd,
    reincarnation is awesome. I have gone from one good leg to six.

  19. 19 Wench Nikkiee Nov 28th, 2006 at 5:02 am

    @Coleoptera
    “The aids virus is an excellent example of evolution in action.”
    Yes. The inherantly error prone viral replication enzyme (reverse transcriptase) continually produces antigenic variation, which helps to enable the virus to evade immune system responses. No intelligent plan required.
    RAmen

  20. 20 Mad John Kidd Nov 28th, 2006 at 5:05 am

    Oooh, she’s talking molec bio stuff again.

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An elaborate spoof on Intelligent Design, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is neither too elaborate nor too spoofy to succeed in nailing the fallacies of ID. It's even wackier than Jonathan Swift's suggestion that the Irish eat their children as a way to keep them from being a burden, and it may offend just as many people, but Henderson, described elsewhere as a 25-year-old "out-of-work physics major," puts satire to the same serious use that Swift did. Oh, yes, it is very funny. -- Scientific American

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