i don’t believe this shit!!!

Published by henderob August 25th, 2005 in Hate Mail (and concerned criticism).

i don’t believe this shit!!! Why are you telling this ************ to all people all over the world??? You must be silly!!! This is only a gag. You might’nt believe! -Sebastian Fritz

Really, you should be ashamed of yourself. Its okay, I guess if you don’t want to believe in Creation. Oops, I didn’t use the politically correct moniker of “intelligent design.” However, you mock everything that Christians believe in. I noticed how in the story of your drug induced spaghetti monster you capitalize the name of your so called creator. Although I am not a perfect person and yes I do sin, I believe your opinion is blasphemous. I also realize that what I am writing to you will probably be scoffed at because you have already made up your mind that science has all of the answers, consider this: Science is largely theory and the test results can be manipulated every time to derive at a particular result. It is unfortunate that you must down grade something you don’t understand, but that’s okay. God gave you a brain and free will to decide what you want to do and whom you will follow. I just pray that you don’t burn all of your bridges before it is too late.

Your brother in Christ,

Eric E. House

P.S. I’ll pray for you with the hope that when you have children you are spared from losing them to some sort of tragedy. Because I know that if that happens to you, you will most certainly blame God and that simple act of blaming Him will result in your acknowlegment that He truly does exist.

35 Responses to “i don’t believe this shit!!!”

1. 1 - September 17th, 2006 at 3:42 am - Alexa Mancha Says:
   
   

   pitiful…

2. 2 - October 13th, 2006 at 1:36 am - Burko Says:
   
   

   Church sucks

3. 3 - October 13th, 2006 at 1:57 am - spider Says:
   
   

   Avast scurvy dogs.
   .
   Mock christians ye say? i mock ALL who believe in a divine creator. Mock Mock Mock. I have no beliefs but i do have some good ideas and some morals. As for losing children perhaps we could notch up the tradegy stakes a bit higher to try and invoke some sort of divine feeling? how about a busload of the little ankle biters, driven by a nun, on their way to a charity petting zoo? of maybe some war buddies (been there seen that, got the hang ups thanks….)

   I’ve seen all kinds of countries, religions, and ways of life. (6 continents and 37 countries and counting) and on the great pasta scales of the universe we’re better of without religion. so if you’re defining argument is either “believe its better that way”, i say avast ye dog, or “believe or bad stuff will happen”, i say double avast to ye petulant spiteful gods, or even just “believe because it’s right” then i spit, shout avast and demand the smallest crumb, an iota of evidence to back it up.
   .
   Because so far i’ve seen nothing to beat some nice pasta, a barrel of grog, and just being nice to people, having fridays off, getting to be a pirate and the vague promise of a beer volcano and stripper factory
   .
   RAmen
   .
   and in case you missed the point.
   .
   .MOCK

4. 4 - October 13th, 2006 at 6:46 am - Cathie. Says:
   
   

   oh get over it you stupid git. apparently, jesus loves you. isn’t that all that matters?

5. 5 - October 13th, 2006 at 9:09 am - spider Says:
   
   

   and that my friends is the the most intelligent quote to date in here by a religious person.

   unfortunately its wrong in so many ways.
   .
   1. I refute the suggestion i am stupid with 2 post graduate qualifications in my chosen field, and a host of professional qualifications including practical, academic and military. (Thats British qualifiactions as well, where you can’t buy them…) In comparison Cathie you have????
   .
   2. I am not a git as defined by the dictionary(n : a person who is deemed to be despicable or contemptible; “only a rotter would do that”; “kill the rat”; “throw the bum out”; “you cowardly little pukes!”; “the British call a contemptible person a `git’”)
   .
   3. “Apparently, Jesus loves you”. the use of “apparently” implies there is something to be apparent, ie: it appears. rest assured that i will inform EVERYBODY if Jesus appears to me and makes his love apparent (although I’m not into men personally, but hey whatever floats his pirate ship)
   .
   4.”isn’t that all that matters”. er, no. some might say the atrocities carried in the name of a huge delusional lie, perpetuated for various forms of social control as opposed to actually treating humans as, well humans, not to mention the pursuit of truth wherever it leads might actually matter.
   .
   So in conclusion i’ll continue to mock.
   mock,mock,mock,mock,mock,mock,mock,mock,mock,mock
   .
   and i’d burn some bridges if i thought it’d help the species acheive sentience as oppossed to superstition..
   .
   .
   MOCK

6. 6 - October 13th, 2006 at 12:39 pm - FlamingoFlamenco Says:
   
   

   I don’t mock the Christian faith, at least when I’m in a good mood anyway. But I can’t support it either. I’ve seen women _buying_ holy “blessed” water for their sick children, while their Catholic priests are covered in gold and silk. And I’M going to go to hell… Ah well. I’ll be warmer there than in this cursed British weather…

7. 7 - October 13th, 2006 at 12:56 pm - Fr. Corpus Callosum Says:
   
   

   I think it’s kind of ironic when some idiot uses the internet to tell everyone that science is just made up of baseless opinions and ‘theories’. Here I thought that it had something to do with logic gates, IP protocols, semiconductor physics, software and firmware. But I guess it was angels and demons fighting inside the big box on my desk. You’ve convinced me Eric. The next time I have a system crash I’ll call my local witch doctor (if the fairies in the phone lines let me)

   How does it feel to be a total retard?

8. 8 - October 13th, 2006 at 1:27 pm - idealformat Says:
   
   

   Perhaps there is room for improvement as Mr House suggests. I for one see the day of Reformed Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster where the pasta is whole grain or perhaps multi-grain and the sauce is meat free, where the mind is free to believe that the pasta may be linguine, penne or God forbid, angel hair.

9. 9 - October 17th, 2006 at 11:43 pm - spider Says:
   
   

   i miss saying it…
   .
   mock mock mock

10. 10 - October 18th, 2006 at 3:38 am - nikkiee Says:
    
    

    “……It is unfortunate that you must down grade something you don’t understand, but that’s okay. ……”

    and It is unfortunate Mr. House that you must down grade something you don’t understand…..namely evolution and science in general. Buts that’s ok. We will pray for you. May you see the pastafarian light. (actually you can’t miss it as it is very very very bright.)
    RAmen

11. 11 - October 18th, 2006 at 4:01 am - Davey Says:
    
    

    I think it’s the saddest thing when people attack science in this way - “Science is largely theory and the test results can be manipulated every time to derive at a particular result.”
    .
    Are you sure that’s what you mean? Or are you really saying “I don’t trust people who’re smarter than me?”, because in my experience, that’s *exactly* what a lot of the distrust of science is all about.
    .
    Which is more likely: A global conspiracy perpetuated by the same people who brought you really handy, neat stuff like smallpox eradication, antibiotics, digital wristwatches, telecommunications, the computer you’re sitting at, etc. etc. etc.
    .
    or:
    .
    A big ole spooky invisible dude who will reward you with eternal subservience if you live your life like our species hasn’t learnt a damn thing in the last twenty centuries?
    .
    Not a difficult one, surely?.
    .
    If science is *so* crappy, and *so* unreliable, do what you’d do as a consumer and STOP using it’s products! Find a cave to live in, produce or hunt your own food, and kiss goodbye to medical treatment forever. You’ll be fine, surely - your invisible friend’ll look after you, won’t he?

12. 12 - October 18th, 2006 at 4:30 am - nikkiee Says:
    
    

    BRAVO!
    RAmen

13. 13 - October 18th, 2006 at 4:47 am - SaucyWench Says:
    
    

    Spider, you read my mind. I have the words “mock,mock, mock” going through my mind to the tune of “Shake your booty”, by, uh, K.C. and the Sunshine Band? I think I need some help.

14. 14 - October 18th, 2006 at 5:51 am - NowtheworldhasMeaning Says:
    
    

    I am pissed off with this crap from now on I want you Bible bashers to refer to God as the Theory of God, and I am being kind by giving it theory name as normally you need to have some solid evidence to back up a theory.

15. 15 - October 18th, 2006 at 7:36 am - Meeee Says:
    
    

    *Bashes Bible*
    Well, now that thats done.
    Simple common sence would indicate that by posting that, Nowtheworld, you would just get people making fun of you. But then your christian so il have to forgive you for not having any common sence

16. 16 - October 18th, 2006 at 8:06 am - NowtheworldhasMeaning Says:
    
    

    Meee,
    .
    I think that you may have misunderstood what I meant. I am not a Christian, but and Atheist more specifically I am an Existentialist. If you call me a Christian again and I findout where you live you are in trouble! (only kidding)
    .
    What I meant by the above was the fact that theists keep abusing the fact that the science world always calls it’s subjects by the term Theory, this give them a miss guided view that they are thus weak. Now should we not refer to all God teachings are the Theory of God, especially in Religious studies.
    .
    My problem that say you go to a science class and you hear the word theory all the time then you go to a religious studies class and hear it being refered to as fact. Would you not say that this is a form of brainwashing.

17. 17 - October 18th, 2006 at 8:20 am - Knower of Truth Says:
    
    

    I know the truth and you are just wrong. How do I know it? I just know it in my heart. Do I think that other people feel as strongly as I do about their beliefs? I don’t know, why are you asking me this? It makes me mad. I know the truth, I just know it. Besides, it is written in the big book. If you don’t start agreeing with me soon I will start a war with you.
    Peace and Love,
    Knower of Truth

18. 18 - October 18th, 2006 at 9:22 am - J Says:
    
    

    Well done, Knower of Truth. That’s a fair parody. Can we copy it into posts on theistic sites? (It seems kind of unnecessary here, there being enough people who actually say exactly that, albeit less politely.)

19. 19 - October 18th, 2006 at 9:52 am - Knower of Truth Says:
    
    

    Go for it J. I have to admit I was in reactive mode when I wrote it. I am new to this site and it was making me very very happy and then I read some crazy fundy responses that scared me. I bet most of those people are in reactive mode when they respond to posts. They can’t really be that angry that we disagree with them, can they?

    Either way, Noodles make better gods since they are so tasty!
    Now I am hungry.
    KOT

20. 20 - October 18th, 2006 at 10:03 am - spider Says:
    
    

    Oh saucywench, mock i say, mock mock mock.
    this shall be the uplifting shanty to fill the vaulted ships holds at the last port call for a pirate.
    for to mock is part of his noodly design,
    it lets us spy the landlubbers for they shrink at the noodle blessed sound of mocking
    so until we run dry of grog, or wenches or humour
    i’ll say it agin.
    MOCK
    .
    if this offends you, good, stop being so uptight

Leave a Reply